IgnazPhillip
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2019
- Messages
- 3
(TLDR but please at least read the last paragraph before commenting) I've been having this issue where every time I use, I end up with these shimmery little tiny clear shards in the front of my hair and all over my face. They're very difficult to remove and get more plentiful the longer I go in a single instance of using. It can eventually get overwhelming and they start to drive me crazy as they fall into my eyes. I know what you're thinking. Meth bugs. I thought the same thing until this weekend (see last paragraph). I'm wondering if this is the same thing that people are talking about when they say meth is coming out their pores as little crystals.
I'll explain how I know it's not the usual psychosis but first a little background. I've been using for about 8 years now. I've only ever used orally and I've never smoked or injected. It started with Adderall IR when I was in college the first time. I would take a 30mg tab and it would help me study all night. I loved the effects and I think I get a much, much better euphoric experience than what the average person feels. My feelings, even on a low dose of Adderall, are way better than any other substance for me. I'm good at managing my use, don't use other drugs, only use sparingly, and hold myself to a strict tolerance break schedule where I take 3 weeks off every other month. I also don't use cannabis or alcohol and I don't take any other medications. Sometimes I'll go more than a month without using and I don't have any issues other than the fact that I miss the feeling of euphoria and going down the rabbit hole to learn about a topic for 12 hours straight. I've never obtained a script and the reasons why are a topic for another time. Two and a half years ago I returned to school to get all of my science credits that I needed so I could get into a school to become what I've always dreamed of becoming. After lots of work studying and stressing, I got the acceptance letter that I dreamed about since I was a little kid. It's a crazy workload of science and anatomy but I love it. We're not going to get into what kind of school I go to, but I'm sure you're smart adults. I've always had good grades and my overall college GPA is a 3.875 (including the last 2 years exclusively consisting of advanced level math and science courses) so I'm familiar with the scientific method, biases, chemistry, human physiology, critical thinking, and being a rational person. I also have a paramedic license but I do not work in the medical field right now because I have a bartending job that allows me to study all week, make more than enough money on the weekend to support myself, and not have a full-time job that would interfere with school. I don't provide any patient care whatsoever, won't be doing so for a couple years, and would never do so while I'm still using. Last March I started using the "other" substance that is chemically similar but way worse for you, due to a variety of cost and access issues (not to mention being afraid of what is in the counterfeit tablets that I would inevitably end up getting sold). We're going to forego all the reasons why this was a terrible idea for another time. You're right. For now though my use costs me less than $50 a month rather than $25 a tab. Almost right away, once I switched to an equivalent oral dose of the shards, I started noticing all these little flakes all over my face with heavy use (heavy use for me, but most people would laugh at me for calling it that) and they're quite annoying. I use the same dose as when people are (rarely) prescribed the drug by their physician. I never use more. Although it makes me feel great and I consider my use episodes a "bender," even after years of use I'm really using a dose of less than what most people start out at. This is probably why I've been able to excel in school, keep the same job for 8+ years even though they fire people for smoking pot, and I can take several week breaks on a regular basis without any problem or horrible crash. Regardless though, on my "binges" the crystal flakes that start after the first day can really drive me insane. They fall down my forehead, sides of my face, get in my eyes and on my eyelids, and in my ears. They're very difficult to see unless I angle the flashlight on my phone a certain way in the mirror. If I use for two or more days I inevitably end up covered in them. They're tiny and almost impossible to displace. It's like they're glued to my face but eventually I can get them off by scratching, grabbing them with fine-tipped forceps, or using a similar method to expressing a pimple with your fingers. At first I thought maybe it was getting on me while I was preparing my capsules, so I started wearing full protection with no exposed skin and doing it in my garage (lol I know). I'd be fine after I was all done and there would be no issue for however many days I continued to avoid using, but as soon as I started using, I still got the clear tiny shards all over me. For a while I settled on meth bugs or some kind of substance induced psychosis but even when I'd sober up, any that I hadn't removed would still be there. I shave daily and shower twice (or more) a day while using and even after getting them all off and having completely clean skin and hair, they would be back within 6-10 hours with continued use of my capsules. Still, the intelligent person in me knows how powerful hallucinations can be when using this chemical. I knew that they seemed real, but we all know that this type of thing will seem incredibly real to anyone who has been using and so I just remained convinced that it HAS to be a byproduct of what happens to the brain and CNS when the body metabolizes this substance. I just kept telling myself that the brain is a powerful thing and that my receptors were over-worked and that lack of sleep combined with excess dopamine were making me see things that can't possibly be real. The problem is, I never skip sleep for more than 1 night and then I will get 12-16 hours of sleep and wake up with them still there. Before my latest tolerance break, on the last day I decided not to remove any of the stuff that was all over me or rub them off. It was like torture but I wanted to see if they would still be there after I was sober. I went to bed without a shower even though I wanted one so bad. I took my last dose on a Friday morning and slept from Friday night until the middle of the night Saturday into Sunday. All day Sunday I ignored the crap all over my face (and had fallen under my shirt to my chest) while focusing on staying hydrated and nutrition and got another full night of sleep Sunday night. I woke up that Monday and guess what...the tiny crystals that I hadn't washed off were still there...all over me. After several days off, lots of sleep, and eating well---they were still there when I woke up. I took them off and looked at them under a magnifying glass and they looked exactly how ground up meth looks through a magnifying glass. Still, I'm a reasonable guy. After proving about 50 other theories to be impossible, I tried to tell myself that I had dry skin, dandruff, or another type of seborrheic dermatitis. The problem is these things are crystal clear and clearly not dandruff or flaked skin. I've seen many cases of skin conditions and I know this is way too crystallized and clear to be skin related and it's quite obvious that it's a tiny shard. If I discontinue use and wash them away, they stay away and don't come back until the next time I start back up and my body has metabolized the drug for a full day or two, at which time they quickly start to appear. I'm extremely vigilant when it comes to my nutrition, hydration, and making myself sleep. It's also not a cutting material causing something because I perform two specific steps (don't know how much I'm allowed to say here) to the product upon receipt. That would remove pretty much everything it could be cut with. As a side note, I lose almost no material because I buy extremely pure product to begin with but either way, I've pretty much ruled out a cutting material as the culprit. So at this point, it pretty much left 4 possibilities. The crystals being a result of my body metabolizing and eventually secreting the product (through things like perspiration, sebum production, defensins, etc.) and then it re-crystallizing after being secreted and drying on my skin/scalp, I'm suffering from a powerful substance induced psychosis, I'm accidentally getting something on myself every time I use but never once doing so when sober, or I'm suffering from another unknown condition that I only suffer from when using.
What really put me over the edge and made it undeniable that this isn't a hallucination (even after all the other undeniable evidence) was this weekend. I started using Friday morning after my normal 3 week tolerance break and ended up re-dosing twice. I only slept for about 3 hours Friday night and had work again Saturday. I used again at work on Saturday (in order to be outgoing, empathetic, and friendly enough to make $320 in tips...if you're wondering why I use before work) and by the evening the crystals were back and getting annoying but washing my face and a couple showers kept them relatively in check. Saturday night (really Sunday morning) I made myself go to bed by 5am and I didn't wake up until 3pm Sunday. I took another tab before work, re-dosed once, and by the end of my shift I was going insane from the crap falling into my eyes. It was also all over my nose and I could see the little clear dots sitting on my nose if the dim light hit me at the right angle as I was talking to customers. It was out of control and I felt like I was going to lose it and freak out. I HAD to get home and take a shower. I was helping with the end of shift side-work along with one of the waitresses as we were getting ready to leave and while we were in the kitchen under the bright lights, she goes "What the hell is all over your face?! Is it glitter? Wait no" and she took her phone out and shined the light on my face looking really close. "It's like these little dots of clear plastic or something. Oh my God they're everywhere. What is all over you???" I said "I know, I think it's from dry skin or something" and she was like "Oh my God wait, look at it all over your eyelids!" as she looked closer and goes "Wait that's not dry skin. Something got all over you. You need to go in the bathroom and look at it! It's literally like clear...ground up...microscopic glass flakes and tiny glass beads got blown all over your face!" I went and washed my face and tried to play it off. I went home and didn't take a shower because I wanted to see what would still be left when I was sober. I stayed in bed from 1am Monday (just after it turned midnight Sunday night) until 8pm Monday night, only waking up to eat some protein bars and drink Gatorade in bed. Even when I got up, I only stayed up for about 5 hours to watch some videos, cook dinner, and stay hydrated. I went back to bed at 1am this morning, even though I had just slept about 15 hours and stayed in bed for 19 hours. I slept another 7 hours from 1am until about an hour ago. I just woke up and it's been about 2 days since I used, and I've gotten 20-something hours of sleep (in addition to getting good sleep while I was using) and guess what? The stuff was that I left there was still all over me and I had to scrape it off and take a shower. I'm now squeaky clean and it won't be back until I use again Friday, just like always. It's only happening from 2 or more days of continued use, twice now I've left it there until a few days of sobering up and it was still there, and it has now been noticed by someone I barely know when we were under bright lights. I'm sorry for the novel, but I figured I had to be as specific as possible before the "meth bugs" police jumped all over me. I'm wondering how often this happens and if it's happened to any of you. I have my own theories and I'll cover them in a future post but first I wanted to explain the entire background and get all of your thoughts on what is happening. If you read all of that I give you a lot of credit, but either way I'm open to anyone's thoughts.
I'll explain how I know it's not the usual psychosis but first a little background. I've been using for about 8 years now. I've only ever used orally and I've never smoked or injected. It started with Adderall IR when I was in college the first time. I would take a 30mg tab and it would help me study all night. I loved the effects and I think I get a much, much better euphoric experience than what the average person feels. My feelings, even on a low dose of Adderall, are way better than any other substance for me. I'm good at managing my use, don't use other drugs, only use sparingly, and hold myself to a strict tolerance break schedule where I take 3 weeks off every other month. I also don't use cannabis or alcohol and I don't take any other medications. Sometimes I'll go more than a month without using and I don't have any issues other than the fact that I miss the feeling of euphoria and going down the rabbit hole to learn about a topic for 12 hours straight. I've never obtained a script and the reasons why are a topic for another time. Two and a half years ago I returned to school to get all of my science credits that I needed so I could get into a school to become what I've always dreamed of becoming. After lots of work studying and stressing, I got the acceptance letter that I dreamed about since I was a little kid. It's a crazy workload of science and anatomy but I love it. We're not going to get into what kind of school I go to, but I'm sure you're smart adults. I've always had good grades and my overall college GPA is a 3.875 (including the last 2 years exclusively consisting of advanced level math and science courses) so I'm familiar with the scientific method, biases, chemistry, human physiology, critical thinking, and being a rational person. I also have a paramedic license but I do not work in the medical field right now because I have a bartending job that allows me to study all week, make more than enough money on the weekend to support myself, and not have a full-time job that would interfere with school. I don't provide any patient care whatsoever, won't be doing so for a couple years, and would never do so while I'm still using. Last March I started using the "other" substance that is chemically similar but way worse for you, due to a variety of cost and access issues (not to mention being afraid of what is in the counterfeit tablets that I would inevitably end up getting sold). We're going to forego all the reasons why this was a terrible idea for another time. You're right. For now though my use costs me less than $50 a month rather than $25 a tab. Almost right away, once I switched to an equivalent oral dose of the shards, I started noticing all these little flakes all over my face with heavy use (heavy use for me, but most people would laugh at me for calling it that) and they're quite annoying. I use the same dose as when people are (rarely) prescribed the drug by their physician. I never use more. Although it makes me feel great and I consider my use episodes a "bender," even after years of use I'm really using a dose of less than what most people start out at. This is probably why I've been able to excel in school, keep the same job for 8+ years even though they fire people for smoking pot, and I can take several week breaks on a regular basis without any problem or horrible crash. Regardless though, on my "binges" the crystal flakes that start after the first day can really drive me insane. They fall down my forehead, sides of my face, get in my eyes and on my eyelids, and in my ears. They're very difficult to see unless I angle the flashlight on my phone a certain way in the mirror. If I use for two or more days I inevitably end up covered in them. They're tiny and almost impossible to displace. It's like they're glued to my face but eventually I can get them off by scratching, grabbing them with fine-tipped forceps, or using a similar method to expressing a pimple with your fingers. At first I thought maybe it was getting on me while I was preparing my capsules, so I started wearing full protection with no exposed skin and doing it in my garage (lol I know). I'd be fine after I was all done and there would be no issue for however many days I continued to avoid using, but as soon as I started using, I still got the clear tiny shards all over me. For a while I settled on meth bugs or some kind of substance induced psychosis but even when I'd sober up, any that I hadn't removed would still be there. I shave daily and shower twice (or more) a day while using and even after getting them all off and having completely clean skin and hair, they would be back within 6-10 hours with continued use of my capsules. Still, the intelligent person in me knows how powerful hallucinations can be when using this chemical. I knew that they seemed real, but we all know that this type of thing will seem incredibly real to anyone who has been using and so I just remained convinced that it HAS to be a byproduct of what happens to the brain and CNS when the body metabolizes this substance. I just kept telling myself that the brain is a powerful thing and that my receptors were over-worked and that lack of sleep combined with excess dopamine were making me see things that can't possibly be real. The problem is, I never skip sleep for more than 1 night and then I will get 12-16 hours of sleep and wake up with them still there. Before my latest tolerance break, on the last day I decided not to remove any of the stuff that was all over me or rub them off. It was like torture but I wanted to see if they would still be there after I was sober. I went to bed without a shower even though I wanted one so bad. I took my last dose on a Friday morning and slept from Friday night until the middle of the night Saturday into Sunday. All day Sunday I ignored the crap all over my face (and had fallen under my shirt to my chest) while focusing on staying hydrated and nutrition and got another full night of sleep Sunday night. I woke up that Monday and guess what...the tiny crystals that I hadn't washed off were still there...all over me. After several days off, lots of sleep, and eating well---they were still there when I woke up. I took them off and looked at them under a magnifying glass and they looked exactly how ground up meth looks through a magnifying glass. Still, I'm a reasonable guy. After proving about 50 other theories to be impossible, I tried to tell myself that I had dry skin, dandruff, or another type of seborrheic dermatitis. The problem is these things are crystal clear and clearly not dandruff or flaked skin. I've seen many cases of skin conditions and I know this is way too crystallized and clear to be skin related and it's quite obvious that it's a tiny shard. If I discontinue use and wash them away, they stay away and don't come back until the next time I start back up and my body has metabolized the drug for a full day or two, at which time they quickly start to appear. I'm extremely vigilant when it comes to my nutrition, hydration, and making myself sleep. It's also not a cutting material causing something because I perform two specific steps (don't know how much I'm allowed to say here) to the product upon receipt. That would remove pretty much everything it could be cut with. As a side note, I lose almost no material because I buy extremely pure product to begin with but either way, I've pretty much ruled out a cutting material as the culprit. So at this point, it pretty much left 4 possibilities. The crystals being a result of my body metabolizing and eventually secreting the product (through things like perspiration, sebum production, defensins, etc.) and then it re-crystallizing after being secreted and drying on my skin/scalp, I'm suffering from a powerful substance induced psychosis, I'm accidentally getting something on myself every time I use but never once doing so when sober, or I'm suffering from another unknown condition that I only suffer from when using.
What really put me over the edge and made it undeniable that this isn't a hallucination (even after all the other undeniable evidence) was this weekend. I started using Friday morning after my normal 3 week tolerance break and ended up re-dosing twice. I only slept for about 3 hours Friday night and had work again Saturday. I used again at work on Saturday (in order to be outgoing, empathetic, and friendly enough to make $320 in tips...if you're wondering why I use before work) and by the evening the crystals were back and getting annoying but washing my face and a couple showers kept them relatively in check. Saturday night (really Sunday morning) I made myself go to bed by 5am and I didn't wake up until 3pm Sunday. I took another tab before work, re-dosed once, and by the end of my shift I was going insane from the crap falling into my eyes. It was also all over my nose and I could see the little clear dots sitting on my nose if the dim light hit me at the right angle as I was talking to customers. It was out of control and I felt like I was going to lose it and freak out. I HAD to get home and take a shower. I was helping with the end of shift side-work along with one of the waitresses as we were getting ready to leave and while we were in the kitchen under the bright lights, she goes "What the hell is all over your face?! Is it glitter? Wait no" and she took her phone out and shined the light on my face looking really close. "It's like these little dots of clear plastic or something. Oh my God they're everywhere. What is all over you???" I said "I know, I think it's from dry skin or something" and she was like "Oh my God wait, look at it all over your eyelids!" as she looked closer and goes "Wait that's not dry skin. Something got all over you. You need to go in the bathroom and look at it! It's literally like clear...ground up...microscopic glass flakes and tiny glass beads got blown all over your face!" I went and washed my face and tried to play it off. I went home and didn't take a shower because I wanted to see what would still be left when I was sober. I stayed in bed from 1am Monday (just after it turned midnight Sunday night) until 8pm Monday night, only waking up to eat some protein bars and drink Gatorade in bed. Even when I got up, I only stayed up for about 5 hours to watch some videos, cook dinner, and stay hydrated. I went back to bed at 1am this morning, even though I had just slept about 15 hours and stayed in bed for 19 hours. I slept another 7 hours from 1am until about an hour ago. I just woke up and it's been about 2 days since I used, and I've gotten 20-something hours of sleep (in addition to getting good sleep while I was using) and guess what? The stuff was that I left there was still all over me and I had to scrape it off and take a shower. I'm now squeaky clean and it won't be back until I use again Friday, just like always. It's only happening from 2 or more days of continued use, twice now I've left it there until a few days of sobering up and it was still there, and it has now been noticed by someone I barely know when we were under bright lights. I'm sorry for the novel, but I figured I had to be as specific as possible before the "meth bugs" police jumped all over me. I'm wondering how often this happens and if it's happened to any of you. I have my own theories and I'll cover them in a future post but first I wanted to explain the entire background and get all of your thoughts on what is happening. If you read all of that I give you a lot of credit, but either way I'm open to anyone's thoughts.
![IMG_0548[1].JPG](/community/data/attachments/12/12326-fa57ac0bfa98e0e93125205154c1a962.jpg)
