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H Withdrawal Soon/Chronic Pain & Health Problems/We Can Do It!

Look man just don't talk to me. Every single thing you have ever said to me has agitated me. That fucking idk. Well I KNOW because I do it every damn day and I'm jacked, I'm pretty sure I could beat the living shit out of most men from my practice despite my chronic pain. As if you looked at me, I am completely jacked from it. I have very strong legs and abs I'm sure that helps.

I am here, because I am worried that my heroin use could spiral out of control again, and I could ruin my taper. I am doing well, recording my doses that I measure with a milligram scale in a ledger. Sniffing only. It's just, what if tomorrow I rail 200 milligrams and completely fuck myself over. I've been doing 20 milligram lines every 8 hours and I want to keep it that way and lower by around 10%, maybe even 5% each week. I'm here for support for that, not for someone to tell me to stop doing yoga because I'm hurting myself. Yoga is good for me and it calms my mind and really I will be going to do some right the fuck now to calm down from that shit I just read. I'm just really worried I could start using more dope again, and I am going to mention it if that happens. If it doesn't and I'm just good, maybe I'll just keep away from here. But I kind of need constant encouragement. When those other posters encouraged me earlier today, it really helped me stick to my goal today. Otherwise I could end up dead. Yoga is fucking irrelevant you're just picking on me. I love it and thought I would share that in case anyone else wanted to look into it, especially yin or restorative yoga.
 
^ Jeez, easy tiger!

Wrongguy said:
Exercise is good and helps you physical and mental being, if you can do it without being in horrible pain or hurting yourself more.

It can even help once you get through the worst of the withdrawals, usally day 2 and 3 are the worst, it's all easier from that point on...
Click to expand...

Good point. My exercise of choice is swimming as it's as low impact as you can get and the resistance is smooth and viscous vs gravity or machines/ free-weights.I think the exertion helps to balance the neurotransmitters like cortisol or nor epinephrine while upping the GABA a bit. And when the enkephalins and endorphins begin to return it's truly worth it.

Do you have any particular exercises you prefer ?
 
Look I'm just going to leave this thread. I really needed the support. When all those people encouraged me earlier to get on with my taper, it was amazing. I felt elated, it was awesome to get that support because I know that if I double my dose even once and sniff 40 milligrams, I'm going to want to do it again. Like ABW mentioned. I need the support in case that happens so I can tell a group of people who care right away, and ask what I should do before I spiral out of control. I've been doing well, and I want to keep it that way. 20mg hits every 8 hours is an extremely light habit and I want to keep lowering my dose. It's tough to keep to it sometimes, I get cravings but I tell myself it's not worth it. The suffering of cold turkey. I'm trying to take even less, but if I take too little, I freak out. I just need the encouragement to keep doing what I'm doing and if I mess up I need people to tell right away. Because I could get lost in the high very quickly. It's not that I don't trust myself, because I do well enough or I wouldn't be doing it with this method (it's no different than the oxy taper I did last year in my mind, just cheaper so I can do it slower and avoid the PAWS three months in that ruined me). Look I need the support here but I don't need people telling me not to do yoga. Is that some sort of joke? Yoga is awesome and it's the only activity other than guitar, that I've been able to keep going with after my injury. Pretty much. And cycling and hiking but I lost a lot of things that I loved to do from my life due to the pain. If yoga was one of those, I simply wouldn't be doing it.

And yeah, sometimes it hurts after a little bit because I'm moving my spine. But, I feel that it's better to keep my spine moving than have it rigid as a board since I feel like that would fuck my body up. I'd rather force myself to be flexible because half the reason I have this pain is I've learned not to use that part of my spine. So I force myself to use it, gently, in asana. I don't see the problem and I would feel it right away if there was one.

I'm just saying I could use the support but I can't handle questioning the few things that I identify with. I am a yogi. And I always will be. It keeps me jacked, toned, flexible, mentally relaxed while I'm doing it and after for a while, it's just a wonderful healthy practice. I just don't know what I'm going to do know, if I wake up and rail 5 times my normal dose that I'm down to. I could fucking die man, it's when my tolerance gets higher that the needle becomes very appealing to me. I need to keep my tolerance down and I need to have constant vigilance and maintain the self control. And I love the method I'm choosing there is no need to criticize that either. I'm tapering with heroin and that's that. I just wish I could post normally in this thread and get the encouragement I did this morning. It's honestly only you at this point. You always have some wise remark to crack.

Why nobody would even look into yin yoga as well is absolutely beyond me. I can't swim for shit, it mangles my spine. Last time I swam at my cottage I was doubled over in agony after and I was just treading water for a while. I know I'm a second rate human to you Jekyl though, because you wrote that you were rooting for everyone here and "even" me Shroomy. Like I'm some fuckin animal. I am 6'1, 200 lbs right now, fucking shredded, while being a vegetarian even, and a lifelong athlete that has found a way to stay fit with extreme pain, but my post is just thrown away like fucking trash. I'm just done with anything but PM's. This is nonsense and I needed the support.
 
Wrongguy said:
Isn't yoga bad for your back pain? Hours of it? I would imagine it as not helping and would create pain. Idk

Exercise is good and helps you physical and mental being, if you can do it without being in horrible pain or hurting yourself more.

It can even help once you get through the worst of the withdrawals, usally day 2 and 3 are the worst, it's all easier from that point on...
Click to expand...

ShroomySatori said:
Look man just don't talk to me. Every single thing you have ever said to me has agitated me. That fucking idk. Well I KNOW because I do it every damn day and I'm jacked, I'm pretty sure I could beat the living shit out of most men from my practice despite my chronic pain. As if you looked at me, I am completely jacked from it. I have very strong legs and abs I'm sure that helps.

I am here, because I am worried that my heroin use could spiral out of control again, and I could ruin my taper. I am doing well, recording my doses that I measure with a milligram scale in a ledger. Sniffing only. It's just, what if tomorrow I rail 200 milligrams and completely fuck myself over. I've been doing 20 milligram lines every 8 hours and I want to keep it that way and lower by around 10%, maybe even 5% each week. I'm here for support for that, not for someone to tell me to stop doing yoga because I'm hurting myself. Yoga is good for me and it calms my mind and really I will be going to do some right the fuck now to calm down from that shit I just read. I'm just really worried I could start using more dope again, and I am going to mention it if that happens. If it doesn't and I'm just good, maybe I'll just keep away from here. But I kind of need constant encouragement. When those other posters encouraged me earlier today, it really helped me stick to my goal today. Otherwise I could end up dead. Yoga is fucking irrelevant you're just picking on me. I love it and thought I would share that in case anyone else wanted to look into it, especially yin or restorative yoga.
Click to expand...

Jekyl Anhydride said:
^ Jeez, easy tiger!

Wrongguy said:
Exercise is good and helps you physical and mental being, if you can do it without being in horrible pain or hurting yourself more.

It can even help once you get through the worst of the withdrawals, usally day 2 and 3 are the worst, it's all easier from that point on...
Click to expand...

Good point. My exercise of choice is swimming as it's as low impact as you can get and the resistance is smooth and viscous vs gravity or machines/ free-weights.I think the exertion helps to balance the neurotransmitters like cortisol or nor epinephrine while upping the GABA a bit. And when the enkephalins and endorphins begin to return it's truly worth it.

Do you have any particular exercises you prefer ?
Click to expand...

ShroomySatori said:
Look I'm just going to leave this thread. I really needed the support. When all those people encouraged me earlier to get on with my taper, it was amazing. I felt elated, it was awesome to get that support because I know that if I double my dose even once and sniff 40 milligrams, I'm going to want to do it again. Like ABW mentioned. I need the support in case that happens so I can tell a group of people who care right away, and ask what I should do before I spiral out of control. I've been doing well, and I want to keep it that way. 20mg hits every 8 hours is an extremely light habit and I want to keep lowering my dose. It's tough to keep to it sometimes, I get cravings but I tell myself it's not worth it. The suffering of cold turkey. I'm trying to take even less, but if I take too little, I freak out. I just need the encouragement to keep doing what I'm doing and if I mess up I need people to tell right away. Because I could get lost in the high very quickly. It's not that I don't trust myself, because I do well enough or I wouldn't be doing it with this method (it's no different than the oxy taper I did last year in my mind, just cheaper so I can do it slower and avoid the PAWS three months in that ruined me). Look I need the support here but I don't need people telling me not to do yoga. Is that some sort of joke? Yoga is awesome and it's the only activity other than guitar, that I've been able to keep going with after my injury. Pretty much. And cycling and hiking but I lost a lot of things that I loved to do from my life due to the pain. If yoga was one of those, I simply wouldn't be doing it.

And yeah, sometimes it hurts after a little bit because I'm moving my spine. But, I feel that it's better to keep my spine moving than have it rigid as a board since I feel like that would fuck my body up. I'd rather force myself to be flexible because half the reason I have this pain is I've learned not to use that part of my spine. So I force myself to use it, gently, in asana. I don't see the problem and I would feel it right away if there was one.

I'm just saying I could use the support but I can't handle questioning the few things that I identify with. I am a yogi. And I always will be. It keeps me jacked, toned, flexible, mentally relaxed while I'm doing it and after for a while, it's just a wonderful healthy practice. I just don't know what I'm going to do know, if I wake up and rail 5 times my normal dose that I'm down to. I could fucking die man, it's when my tolerance gets higher that the needle becomes very appealing to me. I need to keep my tolerance down and I need to have constant vigilance and maintain the self control. And I love the method I'm choosing there is no need to criticize that either. I'm tapering with heroin and that's that. I just wish I could post normally in this thread and get the encouragement I did this morning. It's honestly only you at this point. You always have some wise remark to crack.

Why nobody would even look into yin yoga as well is absolutely beyond me. I can't swim for shit, it mangles my spine. Last time I swam at my cottage I was doubled over in agony after and I was just treading water for a while. I know I'm a second rate human to you Jekyl though, because you wrote that you were rooting for everyone here and "even" me Shroomy. Like I'm some fuckin animal. I am 6'1, 200 lbs right now, fucking shredded, while being a vegetarian even, and a lifelong athlete that has found a way to stay fit with extreme pain, but my post is just thrown away like fucking trash. I'm just done with anything but PM's. This is nonsense and I needed the support.
Click to expand...

Ok I'm confused. Are you mad because Wrongguy and I didn't want to talk about your Yoga ? So I'm the big, bad meanie ?

Even after all the 10,000 word posts of support from ABW & friends and your leaving over this ? Mind Blown!
 
Edited.

Let's play nice. I'm really starting to get upset at the bickering.

There was a period where this thread had a practically magical energy, when people were simply supporting one another, airing our struggles and grievances honestly, and I am looking to get back to that energy.

If you are unsure as to how something is meant to be taken, as there's no tone of voice here just text, stop and examine, even pm someone for their opinion. Or, just ignore them and talk and converse with others you'd prefer to converse with.

I do apologize for the length and the severe frustration seeping through my initial post here. I'm only human. This had been ongoing, it seemedvresolved, it wasn't, I'm on day 2 of heroin withdrawal, and this is a thread I started for those purposes. It's frustrating , but let me also say in order to be fair, that I actually do understand. I understand why and what is happening, and my most prominent wish ous for everyone's happiness, peace, and confidence

Xo
 
Last edited:
ShroomySatori said:
Look man just don't talk to me. Every single thing you have ever said to me has agitated me. That fucking idk. Well I KNOW because I do it every damn day and I'm jacked, I'm pretty sure I could beat the living shit out of most men from my practice despite my chronic pain. As if you looked at me, I am completely jacked from it. I have very strong legs and abs I'm sure that helps.

I am here, because I am worried that my heroin use could spiral out of control again, and I could ruin my taper. I am doing well, recording my doses that I measure with a milligram scale in a ledger. Sniffing only. It's just, what if tomorrow I rail 200 milligrams and completely fuck myself over. I've been doing 20 milligram lines every 8 hours and I want to keep it that way and lower by around 10%, maybe even 5% each week. I'm here for support for that, not for someone to tell me to stop doing yoga because I'm hurting myself. Yoga is good for me and it calms my mind and really I will be going to do some right the fuck now to calm down from that shit I just read. I'm just really worried I could start using more dope again, and I am going to mention it if that happens. If it doesn't and I'm just good, maybe I'll just keep away from here. But I kind of need constant encouragement. When those other posters encouraged me earlier today, it really helped me stick to my goal today. Otherwise I could end up dead. Yoga is fucking irrelevant you're just picking on me. I love it and thought I would share that in case anyone else wanted to look into it, especially yin or restorative yoga.
Click to expand...

I have not heard of yin or restorative yoga. Are these practices just two gentler forms than classical type yoga?
 
For the record, the ex of mine, who took his life, it will be one year on my day 3, Sunday, the 4th.

It sucks. I know they are dead. But with coming up on one full year, out makes it way harder to entertain fantasies of soothing him and making it ok and all that crap that's never gonna happen.

And its 830am and my darling husband is angry that his beer Is in the car. I'm going to get it so I don't get beat or screamed at!

Can I just say how FUCKING TIRED I AM OF HEARING HIM MISERABLY SAY SHIT LIKE,"You *could* tell me the rest is in the car before I drink, so I don't have to go out there drunk, and.....and....and...." Oh mygod, choke on your own vomit would you? Shut the FUCK UP.

So, I called him my darling darling darling, my sweetness, my delicate little flower, what a charmer, just rivers of love and joy and kindness flowing straight from him. I better watch it. I'm on one right now ;) But yeah, no more of that. Though out was nice to say that in my sarcastic tone and let him know what a fuck he is.

Life you're the fucking best.
 
Last edited:
Trevor, I am thinking of you and hoping you are hanging in there and are in a good place on all levels. If you are up to it, lmk how you are. Love you. Xoxo
 
Last edited:
I didn't have any problem with anything and was surly not speaking out against anything... think your reading into things way to much, it was a simple question and then I offered helpful advice not directed at all but to everyone.

And Jekyl swimming is amazing, that's one of my favorites, I also do some low impact workouts with a weight machine but to low weight and not to strenuous to try to stay active..slow walks help keep everything moving too, it's also been cold here all winter and is getting back close to the swimming season so I will be able to do more swimming really soon

The key is to get out and do some type of activity. It doesn't even matter what it is really, although some are better and easier on you than others. I don't do long stressful activities but try to do what I can. For a long time I couldn't do to much and definitely couldn't push myself to hard but things are getting much better now. Doing something active has helped alot.
 
\^lol chill lol, what makes you think I was addressing you specifically?

(Itmust have been the part where I said that I didn't think there was any reason to have a falling out and didn't think anything was meant insultingly.... ;) )
Edit. Besides, if it wasn't pretty obvious, my entire point besides obviously this needing to be a place where people whose lives are in danger can feel good and supported and loved, the point I tried to make without sounding super condescending and obnoxious and possibly being taken the wrong way by directly just saying it, was that....

I know I'm dealing with nightmares....layers of nightmares....life threatening, misery.... And I know at least a couple or few others here are in pretty awful circumstances.... And they are desperate and I guess I was trying to indirectly say that some people are really really going through hell and are determined to emerge victorious and free...

...and perhaps this petty squabblingmight look as petty as it really is, as small as it is, when held up next to that, what some others are going through at this moment right now.

I didn't want to literally say that, but now I have. It seems kind of..... Martyr-y to just directly say it. But I guess that point got lost. I'm not really sure what else to say; if it's not pretty clear and obvious that it's just not ok and not cool that arguments of a silly nature are making older regulars of this thread not show up and post anymore because it's hostile in here,, if when someone - not merely myself - pours their heart out and reveals their secret hells, that they are desperate to break free from so they don't die some way, and if anyone here thinks that, in light of posters no longer coming here and those who are really going through it have to wade through bickering and crap to get some love and support (and maybe they don't even try because they're feeling crap enough and don't want to deal with others arguing while they are trying to save their own life).... Well, I don't know what to say if it's unclear to anyone why that's not cool.


And that's not necessarily directed towards you, either, I'm just editing here and adding that I'm since its somewhat relevant to our exchange in topic.
 
Last edited:
I didn't mean you ABW, I may have not made it clear, maybe should have used quotes,... not a big deal... it was nothing to be concerned about, I just wanted to clarify...

We can all support one another here... it's easy
 
I'm pulling for everyone here, I hope everyone reaches the goals they want to reach

You mean me or someone else with the request?
 
^^You, but no pressure, really.

If you aren't interested or if you just don't really do the friend thing here I am not offended.

My usual disposition is pretty live and let live and I don't sweat things like that.
 
Ugh. Everyone also needs to be less sensitive, which I know is difficult in withdrawal. Wrongguy asked a simple question; was taken the WRONG way. Anywho, let's not linger in the past, but move forward, yes?

ABW, your inbox is full, FYI.

I'm tired of going through withdrawals. I vote no, please. Can we all agree that they suck ass and should stop? Pain sucks enough as it is; add sensitivity and crying to the mix; awesome sauce. Ugh. Like you always say, which I can only really, really admire, WE CAN DO THIS!
 
I didn't get any requests or I would have accepted... ?

And yes Anna, I agree, let's move forward, and withdrawals most definitely suck so so horriblely unbelievably almost unbearably bad
 
Huh. It says my friendshipp with you is pending when I try to click to add you as a friend. :/
 
Not sure how it works, I looked all over for something that said pending friends or something...

I clicked add as friend and it added you, maybe we both must try to add eachother as friend for us to become friends... I'm not sure... but i do know we are now friends...☺?☺
 
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