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Guys: can you please describe what sexual arousal feels like?

What's the novel about? Who (what gender) is the protagonist?
Are you attempting to write from a male perspective?

You should write about what you know.
I don't think you can bridge the gender gap without a serious amount of research.
(This thread is not going to cut it, IMO.)

It is really difficult to write from about things you will never experience.
Then again, there have been some good efforts.

The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole series was written by a woman, and is about a pubescent male.
It might be worth checking those books out.
 
Well in general, I think it's a good idea to do exhaustive research on anything that I'm writing about. So this particular thread is certainly not my only resource. My protagonist is a female, but since the novel is obviously not an all-female cast of characters, I need some insight on the male perspective to get a stronger vision of the men in my story. These replies (and similar threads I've started on other websites) have been the most helpful source material I've had so far. I feel so lucky, because before the internet, writers had to flip through a giant thesaurus and probably poll strangers on the street for this kind of research.
 
Fair enough. Although I think the internet is a blessing and a curse for writers, and all researchers.
There is no shortcut to writing, I don't think.
(I didn't mean any offence.)

Is this your first novel?
Are you a published writer?

I take it you're using multiple forums for research?
(Since you don't really have any other posts, here... and you said you have other sources?)

I'm curious, because I'm a writer and I've considered doing this kind of research myself.
I think you need to tread carefully, though, when relying on other people's anecdotes as research.
I could be over-thinking it, but I feel like there's an ethical responsibility there.

:)
 
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ForEverAfter said:
I think you need to tread carefully, though, when relying on other people's anecdotes as research.
I could be over-thinking it, but I feel like there's an ethical responsibility there.

:)
Click to expand...

Well you're entitled to your opinion. It's interesting to get a feel for people's personalities and how they coincide with their description of their own sexual arousal. For instance, the man who said his wife is exceptionally beautiful seemed to write an overall positive response to my questions. I'd assume he's a very happy and fun person to be around, playing adorable code word games with his wife, and their sex life seems very loving with a touch of dominance on his end. I'm really curious as to what your response to my questions about sexual arousal would be.
 
I'm really curious as to what your response to my questions about sexual arousal would be.
Click to expand...

I thought about this and I'd rather keep the bulk of my experiences for my own writing...

I'll tell you this much, though:

I don't tuck mine up into my waistband (too painful). Instead I bend it sideways down a pant leg and then shove my hands in my pockets and hold onto it. Looks strange, though. It's hard to walk around with it concealed in your pocket or in your waistband because it restricts hip / leg movement. A raging erection is practically impossible to conceal, so - rather than trying to do that - I have learnt how to control erections. I have a very specific idiosyncratic (cognitive) method of getting rid of them... It usually takes me about 30 seconds to 2 minutes.

Sometimes, however, they just won't go away. Particularly when I've been having sex... My girlfriend was blowing me in a supermarket parking lot last week. But I was really drunk and I was going too take to long to cum. She was self-conscious / uncomfortable, too... So we decided to drive somewhere else to finish up. But, I wanted to go into the bottle shop before it closed, so I had to get rid of it... Unfortunately, I couldn't will it away and it was too uncompromisingly hard to shove it down a pant leg... so I had to wait. I sat in the car for ages, talking to my girlfriend, with a massive tent in the crotch of my pants. Took like 10-15 minutes before it subsided and I could go in and get another bottle of wine.

I hope that was somewhat helpful.
Good luck with the novel.
 
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LOL it's research! I don't ever use these answers in my actual novel, they just give me a better understanding of the male sexual experience so I can create my own words from a stronger starting point.
 
I know, I'm just teasing...

...

You wrote something earlier that I think it's worth commenting on.

It's interesting to get a feel for people's personalities and how they coincide with their description of their own sexual arousal. For instance, the man who said his wife is exceptionally beautiful seemed to write an overall positive response to my questions. I'd assume he's a very happy and fun person to be around, playing adorable code word games with his wife, and their sex life seems very loving with a touch of dominance on his end. I'm really curious as to what your response to my questions about sexual arousal would be.
Click to expand...

I'm not sure that your conclusions are accurate here, from a male perspective (or from my observations anyway).
Somebody who likes to tie their wife up and sodomize her isn't, necessarily, any less happy or less fun to be around outside the bedroom.

I don't think that sexual practices have to reflect personality types.
I've known complete psychos who are into very loving gentle sex and very gentle people who are into hard rough shit. (This is quite common.)

I've known some guys who are way too in love with women, to the point that it's nauseating and / or creepy... I'm not saying that about timothy, I'm just saying: don't jump to conclusions about correlations between sexual behavior and social conduct...

Sometimes it's better, when developing characters, to throw a couple of contradictory traits into the mixing pot...
You want your characters to be as multi-dimensional as possible; flaws/contradictions make them interesting.

Just my 2 cents.
(I'll stop posting in this thread now and give other people a chance to contribute...)
 
ForEverAfter said:
I've known complete psychos who are into very loving gentle sex and very gentle people who are into hard rough shit. (This is quite common.)
Click to expand...

Yes, I definitely agree with that. My own day to day personality doesn't really correspond with the subject matter that I've decided to write in my novel. It's almost a little embarrassing for me when my friends have found out what kind of content is in the novel I've been engrossed in writing for months now.
 
When I was younger sexual arousal and the urge were difficult to control.
It made it almost impossible to be near a woman without trying to seduce her.
It coloured all relations with people and made it very difficult to think of potential partners as autonomous people.
Sexual desire is like you're on fire and only the sex act can damp down the fire.
If I thought I had a chance of sex, my pulse would race, I would instantly think of a dozen devious plans to make it happen.
I'm so glad all that's died down now.
 
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