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Greatest drug induced quotes....Trippin/rollin/stoned/doped/dusted LOL's go here!

Me and 2 friends are blazing in my living room and one of them drops ash on the carpet. So stupidly i said brush it under the couch so my buddy says "That'll smear it everywhere" then I said 'What are you, some kind of fucking rug doctor?"

lol it was funnier at the time and its too bad i cant remember anytihng else from that sesh cuz i remember it being hilarious

good thread btw
 
"WOW i just remembered why green is my favourite sound!!"

my friend freaking out and screaming this at some random dude:
"BUT WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO THAT SECTION OF TIME??? DUDE IT JUST FELL RIGHT OUT INTO SPACE!! HOW DO WE GET IT BACK?!?!?!?!?!?!?"
 
A few friends and i were candy flippin and we were sitting on this dock near the ocean staring out across the water at this shipping yard. We dubbed it the "space port" because it was at night and with all the lights and cranes and such it really did look like some space station. One friend asks something along the lines of "how long have we been here? what time is it?" and i yell in the most incredulous almost angry voice ever "TIIIIIIIME?!?!" and everyone starts to laugh knowing what i meant that at that moment time had uttlery no meaning to myself it was nothing but some laughbly stupid concept none of us could even grasp.
 
Myself, my future wife (ladyinthesky, and Billywitchdoc were on LSD.. the most common things said were:
me: what?
lady: huh?
billy: wait, whats going on
me: what did you call me?!

another time was on 300mg+ Mescaline, and 10g of shrooms
friend of mine was confused and mind fucked over everything, he asked me if what he was looking was in fact a chair, and what uses it had..
I didnt know either at the time, but i responded, " i think you sit in it, or have sex in it, its one or the other." For the next several hours we spent thinking bout why this chair was a chair and not a stool or LazyBoy

Drugs to fuck all wonders to ones mind=D =D
 
Myself and my good buddy were spending the night smoking crack and china all night, alot of it too,

Me after 1300$ of crack,i just passed out and came to in under a min and looked up at my buddy: Mornin' Dad
My friend who I just called dad: Your a terrible son.

Some 300lb 40 year old who was throwing in on the session: He's not your son, your both my children, for I am god!!!

Lulz
 
"There are people who take LSD for spiritual discovery, and then there are people who take LSD because it's the end of midterms."
 
We were all tripping and someone turned on a blacklight. You could see all kinds of lint and stuff on everyone's clothes. I saw what looked like a cum stain on my friend's shirt. I told him,"That's a son or daughter that you will never have. We have to name it!" We named it Jane the protein stain.
 
In my apartment complex, some of our neighbours were ranked like #200 something in the world at the game "rockband" or so they claimed.... It was like 5 AM and we were standing right outside my apartment shirtless and tripping balls, then this really hot sorority chick came out of one of our other neighbours apartments right next to us... and one of my friends was just standing there staring at her... then after about 30 seconds of awkwardness he just points to the apartment across from us and yells "Their number 200 in the world!"
 
Mushrooms in a hotel in Amsterdam.

3 of us come back from exploring the hallway. Other friend looks up from the bed "Guys....I was gonna come with you but...I lost the door!"

Later

Friend picks up the phone to make a call. 10 minutes later "Wow......I got lost in the dial tone...."
 
"I know what you're doing...Mr. Snappy"

*writing down stuff for later* "Back this up when your sober, Ion-fighter self out"

And my personal favourite
In the Arnold Schwarzenegger voice: "I'm here to trip OUTTT."
 
Tripping on acid when I was 16 working at Arby's. It's Halloween, during the dinner rush and I'm making sandwiches. The owner, Glen, is working the slicer next to me and putting piles of roast "beef" on the sandwiches I'm making.

"There's worms on the roast beef Glen!"

Everyone in the place heard me.

I got fired.
 
This was just last weekend:
I was super-benzoed out and passed out on my some girls' couch, it was 4:30am they wanted to leave. I don't remember this at all, they told me this was how it went down:

girls: J, time to get up. we're leaving
me: fuck you, why don't you just cut my balls off any keep them as a trophy?
girls: *giggles*
me: hey, thats not funny, that happened to a friend of mine
girls: *even more giggles*

I'm mostly surprised that they took it so well, as opposed to slapping me.
 
haha ^

lol
i say stupid shit on benzos, but it doesnt bother me as i normally dont remember

haha

last weekend my friend was tripping balls on mushrooms and was staring at his wrist-watch. After 10 minutes of trying to read the time, he just looks at his hands and says, " What's normal????.... i wonder what normal feels like?"
 
Recently, very stoned drinking a dark heavy beer (advertised as based on beer brewed by Bavarian Monks) I declare through text to my friend. "I want to be a drunk caroling monk!"
 
Hash cakes in Amsterdam: "It's like being stoned... but from the inside."

Acid and MDMA: "How are you?" "I'm just Escher."

First time I did ecstasy: "Oh god, it's like everything's the same as it always was - but it's all amazing."
Friend: "Yep, welcome to hard drugs. Enjoy your stay!"
=D that was cool.
 
While on weed once, we got the munchies, and I grabbed one of those things made of two bigged ass chocolate chip cookies with ice cream in the center.

Me: "You guys ever seen that flick 'Honey I shrunk the kids'?"
Friends: "Yeah, why?"
Me: "Well remember when they found one of these in the yard? What if those kids are coming? Or are already here?!"
Friends(Snickering): "Heh, yeah, maybe man."
Me: "Should I leave them a bite?"
Friends: "Sure, sounds like a nice thing to do."
Me: "One of my bites...or one of theirs?"
Friends: "Well one of theirs would only be 1 bite, and their were 4 kids. One of your bites would be the size of a car to them, so leave one of yours."
Me: "Good call!"

I then went a got a plate, washed it, carefully broke off a piece, and sat the bite neatly in the center. The next day, it was gone. Looking back, my friend did have a dog.
 
My friend was epically stoned once, and I asked him if he wanted some percocet, and he said "No, those are only for the black deck".
 
A friend of mine and I as we were chilling in his car, smoking a few bowls of really good nug...

Me: *takes hit, passes pipe* Daaaaaaamn.
Friend: *doesn't move, stares at stereo*
Me: Uh...are you gonna take this?
Friend: ...huh? Oh, sorry, I forgot I was in the car.
Me: What?

haha, he said that he zoned out so much that he thought he was in his room listening to his stereo at home.
 
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