GIRLS.... Have you done this before ?

[oqj]

You met a Random guy you were sexually attracted to , for the first time and have a conversation.


During the first 5 minutes of the conversation you can sense that he is Innocent (looks, body language).


Would you lose attraction/interest with him and quickly mention a boyfriend in conversation .



Girls opinion please.

Thanks ))

 

[CrowetheCat]

Well I probably wouldn't mention a boyfriend if I didn't have one.

It really depends on how innocent the dude is and how it interacts with his other personality traits. Personally, I prefer dudes with more life experience than me. But I'd gladly be friends with the dude and see where it goes anyway.

 

[llama112]

If I was single and into someone then I'd go for it. Even if she seemed innocent. Who cares? I mean experience is nice and all but I wouldn't say no to a guy who was inexperienced.

 

[Mysterie]

there is no point answering, the OP should really be making a thread called "how can i have more self-confidence".

this is like the 4th thread on the exact same topic, every time you reply he repeats his OP, pointless....

my actual advice is to set some realistic goals for yourself to achieve in the future, and accomplish them

 

[Pagey]

If I was single and into someone then I'd go for it. Even if she seemed innocent. Who cares? I mean experience is nice and all but I wouldn't say no to a guy who was inexperienced.

Yeah same.

Not quite sure what you're really asking. Maybe you could give us more specifics on your actual situation?

 

[malakaix]

I know that you know the answer to this question. When you finally accept that, only then will you be able to move on and start building confidence in yourself.

 

[Seattle_Stranger]

I'm almost certain this person was signed up on BL under a different name, asking the exact same questions. He was obsessed with why a girl might seem interested, and then suddenly not. He also kept referring to himself as innocent.

Either way, doesn't matter, it sounds to me like this "innocence" you seem to think you have is actually your insecure desperation, and you're comparing this seemingly harmless personality to most of the other egotistical, douche-baggy personalities all the other guys at the bar seem to have, and wondering why women aren't attracted to you. While yes, at first evaluation, you would think a girl would be much more inclined to talk to someone who isn't a chest-pounding dick, someone who comes off as non-threatening, soft, welcoming, and interested in meeting a potential girlfriend and not just a quick lay....all things women fall over themselves for, right? What more could a woman want than this breath of fresh air in this meet-market of testosterone?? I've been there, it's an easy mistake to make, but as you're realizing, this is a poor approach. I'm not saying be fake, or be douchy on purpose, but it definitely sounds like the essence you give off is....well...sorry, but.....pussy-ish....and yes, a woman will pick up on that in minutes if not seconds, and chances are she's done with you. The boyfriend statement, while it could be true, is very likely a quick red-button exit stage left excuse.

Somewhere I can suggest you start, pretend you have a girlfriend already and you're just kickin' it at the local bar either with your homies just to have a beer or two before you go home to your gorgeous girlfriend laying in your bed waiting for you, and aren't there with the purpose of meeting someone. Think about how you would feel if this was true, and try to evaluate the confidence you would project. Try to project a similar confidence, and see how that changes things for you. I have been with my fiancee for over 8 years, and at this point, I can't get all the beautiful women to STOP talking to me, flirting, some even have suggested that I "adventurize". I think back to when I was single, and if I had this confidence level back then, I would've gotten half the population pregnant.

 

[malakaix]

I have been with my fiancee for over 8 years, and at this point, I can't get all the beautiful women to STOP talking to me, flirting, some even have suggested that I "adventurize". I think back to when I was single, and if I had this confidence level back then, I would've gotten half the population pregnant.

Great post.

I feel like this is the great irony of attraction. When i was seeing someone i would get more attention then usual from women, even after telling some of them that i was already in a relationship they still pursued me.. i even recall one of them when drunk outright asking me if i wanted to have sex with her, i couldn't ever imagine that happening while single. But that's because your projecting an image of 'abundance'.. you have everything you need, you stand out as someone who is seeking nothing among the many other's that are seeking everything. - So your naturally more intriguing 'what does he have that's so great that he doesn't even give me any attention?'.

 

[oqj]

I'm almost certain this person was signed up on BL under a different name, asking the exact same questions. He was obsessed with why a girl might seem interested, and then suddenly not. He also kept referring to himself as innocent.

Either way, doesn't matter, it sounds to me like this "innocence" you seem to think you have is actually your insecure desperation, and you're comparing this seemingly harmless personality to most of the other egotistical, douche-baggy personalities all the other guys at the bar seem to have, and wondering why women aren't attracted to you. While yes, at first evaluation, you would think a girl would be much more inclined to talk to someone who isn't a chest-pounding dick, someone who comes off as non-threatening, soft, welcoming, and interested in meeting a potential girlfriend and not just a quick lay....all things women fall over themselves for, right? What more could a woman want than this breath of fresh air in this meet-market of testosterone?? I've been there, it's an easy mistake to make, but as you're realizing, this is a poor approach. I'm not saying be fake, or be douchy on purpose, but it definitely sounds like the essence you give off is....well...sorry, but.....pussy-ish....and yes, a woman will pick up on that in minutes if not seconds, and chances are she's done with you. The boyfriend statement, while it could be true, is very likely a quick red-button exit stage left excuse.

Somewhere I can suggest you start, pretend you have a girlfriend already and you're just kickin' it at the local bar either with your homies just to have a beer or two before you go home to your gorgeous girlfriend laying in your bed waiting for you, and aren't there with the purpose of meeting someone. Think about how you would feel if this was true, and try to evaluate the confidence you would project. Try to project a similar confidence, and see how that changes things for you. I have been with my fiancee for over 8 years, and at this point, I can't get all the beautiful women to STOP talking to me, flirting, some even have suggested that I "adventurize". I think back to when I was single, and if I had this confidence level back then, I would've gotten half the population pregnant.

Thanks, bro Is it true that girls, when they meet a guy that they are sexually attracted to (thinks he is Hot ) and start a conversation ; realise that he is too nice in the first 5 minutes of the conversation would not be interested anymore and would keep him as a friend ??

 

[oqj]

Yeah same.

Not quite sure what you're really asking. Maybe you could give us more specifics on your actual situation?

I have a similar pattern with girls who approach me or give me attention first.

For example I went to this barber shop and the girl started to randomly tease about my hair and touching my ear and then she was like " Joking" and giggling. But I just smiled ( a bit nervous) and was quiet. She then started asking questions about myself and i replied and I asked questions about her too, so that it was a normal conversation. ( No flirty comments at all from my side) .
I asked the same questions she was asking; like " where are you from" , job oriented, hobbies,etc.

Then she asked me about what I was doing and I told I study at the University. Then she casually mentions about her boyfriend studying at the University just like me. Although she didn't mention his name or anything.

 

[oqj]

Well I probably wouldn't mention a boyfriend if I didn't have one.

It really depends on how innocent the dude is and how it interacts with his other personality traits. Personally, I prefer dudes with more life experience than me. But I'd gladly be friends with the dude and see where it goes anyway.

Have you personally friend-zoned a Random guy you had attraction for the first time you met him , simply because he seemed to be too Nice in the first few minutes of conversation ??

 

[Clitnhawk]

Are you a virgin? "Innocent" can mean a lot of things... a mass-murderer can still be a virgin.

You don't have to be an asshole to attract women, but being "manly" and having confidence helps. Also are you sure you don't like guys?

I used to be a "nice guy" and get friend-zoned. And listen some shit from a girl about how some guy was being an asshole or some other abusive shit. I don't have time in my life for such crap. I'll give advice, one time only. Guys don't change, unless they want to and you're going to change him. Either live with it and shutup or dump his ass and find a real man. I get thanked afterwards when she leave him. I also told this to a gay man.

So I went from NO SEX, being nice and shy. To dating 2-3 women at a time, once at the same party. Look at women with sexual attraction, not in a creepy way... and they'll notice your eyes saying "I want you". Oddly it works.

You can't lose a girl you never had. And yes, simply saying "hi, whats your name" is a way to start a relationship. That how I meet my wife, she said "hello" to me at a club and we were fucking a few hours later.

Get a little drunk, have a wingman, go out and meet people. Even your female-friends (ie: not women you have sex or date), ask them "Can you be my wingman? I'm shy, don't know how to dace" So its not a real date, but you'll have a girl who can give you tips, and let you know your fuckups. Girls love guys that dance, so if your wing-girl shows you how to dance, it HELPS you in many ways, you'll get more confidence. But yeah, saying the wrong thing to a particular woman (or the other way around) can blow it. Every failure is a learning experience. I lost a nice piece of ass because I said something about travel and she THOUGHT it meant I wanted to see her in her city for sex. She was from out of town and wanted to get laid. My guess, she had a BF or husband. Within a minute of me saying that wrong thing, she was gone... because I was making conversation.

She was a hottie. After 10min of talking, I should have said "Wanna fuck?" - it would have worked.

Oh, and I have simply asked that - and have it work. "Wanna fuck"

Keep this one simple rule in mind: If you ask a girl out on a date, and she says "YES" and its happening - it means she is already WILLING have sex with you.
The date or talk over drinks is a matter of you sealing the deal.

I've talked with a 35 yr old virgin once. He wants to get laid, but is waiting to meet that PERFECT woman. He's a dumb-ass. I explained the flaw in his plan.
NO experience = NO women. Each year you get older, the more a woman would want you less "Whats wrong with you?"
Go to a strip joint, pay $20 for a lap dance and gets some boobs in your face. Dance and talk with ANY girl at a club. Just to talk. No goals of getting her panties off.

 

[neurotic]

accept and embrace it man

theres nothing wrong with being 'innocent'... unless YOU think there is... you get the drift

thats how confidence works

 

[Colonel Contin]

You're obsessed with whether or not these girls are attracted to you and it's clouding your judgement. Give up on getting laid for a while. Try talking to a woman without crossing your fingers behind your back and praying she's going to take you home. This will strip them of the power to 'shut you down'. Act interested in women as people, and flirt to let them know you're interested in what they're saying and not as a strategy of seduction. I 'flirt' with everybody I talk to when I'm in a good mood, male or female. It's nice to be charming without an ulterior motive. You act like your only options are to drool all over a lady or play hard to get and shut her out completely from the jump. Just hold a damned conversation and see where it goes. If you're as insightful and well-informed as you claim to be, you'll at least wind up with a friend - and friendships can develop into something special (most of the women I've dated started out as my friends).

AND, if you have been 'friend-zoned' by all of the women you've mentioned in all of the numerous threads you have started on this topic, you must have a LOT of female friends. Why don't you use these experiences to your advantage, hang out with the women that don't want a sexual relationship with you and get to know them, their quirks, what turns them on, etc. Once sex is off the table, these women could become your allies in helping you approach new women... and if they are comfortable with you, they'll tell you what you've been doing wrong and why you struck out with them romantically. Seems like this could improve your approach with women you meet in the future.

I have read through the half-dozen or so threads you've started asking the same question (over and over) and the fact of the matter is this: people are drawn to you, and that is a rare blessing. If you are still alone it's because A. You repel people and they can't stand your company or B. You have a one track mind and you refuse to accept any attention other than sexual attention (either seems equally possible at this point). Utilize your blessing and surround yourself with people. Fuck getting laid, you're obviously not ready for that yet. Try making some friends first and it will eventually happen.

Just wanted to point this out while I'm at it - You seem to like to ignore perfectly sound advice, asking "well yeah, but what I really want to know is, 'did she like me when she walked up to me and then friend-zone me when she found out I was a shy-guy?'". Who fucking cares. People act on a whim when they approach somebody they don't know. The curiosity that drove them to speak to you in the first place is immediately replaced with the impression they get from the first thing that comes out of your mouth. I can guarantee you that no woman has ever thought to herself "look at that guy over there, I want to fuck him and unless he's totally 'innocent' or something, nothing is going to stop me".

You act like you'd be pleased to find out that these women are objectifying you, thinking "he's HOT, and unless he does something serious to screw this up, I'm DTF". At best, they are talking to you to see if they find you attractive. It's not like they already have their minds made up. Unfortunately, you are not an object, and neither are they. They have nothing invested in talking to you, but they are giving you an opportunity to impress them. If you aren't impressive, then that's the problem. Being shy or 'innocent' isn't the issue, I promise. People approach you, so you don't have to be outgoing.

I think you want to demonize these women for passing on you when they find out you're shy because that would get you off the hook, but I guarantee you it runs deeper than that, and it's probably painfully obvious. I'm picturing a woman walking up to you and saying "hello", and you responding with "hi, let me ask you a question: when you walked over here, did you think I was attractive, and now that you're talking to me you're starting to think 'oh shit, another shy-guy, what have I gotten myself into?'?". If you want to be an object that fucks other objects without having to bother with the social aspect of it, get into porn.

Until then it seems like you're going to continue to beat this into the ground, interrogating women until they start fessing up for their trespasses. "Admit it, you all hate shy-guys. You're all DTF until you find out I'm shy. Admit it!!"

Try this on for size:

"Do women think I'm HOT until they talk to me and find out I'm innocent?" Yes. They think you're hot and they want to fuck you, but the moment you open your mouth, the illusion is shattered and they have to come up with an excuse to get away from you. Women are shallow creatures that just can't get past personality when there's a perfectly decent, superficially attractive man sitting right in front of them. There you are, ready to fuck then get hitched, and all they can think about is their precious ego, "what will my friends think if I show up with an inexperienced, shy-guy?".

That's obviously the answer you want to hear, but how does it help you in any way?

Sorry I got a little riled up toward the end there, but to be honest, your inquiry and its implications are mildly offensive. You aren't going to get the real answers until you start asking the right questions.

 

[queenbee1127]

We've been over this. This is at least your 5th thread about the same topic.

Not every single interaction you have with a female is going to entail her sizing you up sexually. Your barber was cutting your hair. She wanted you to tip her which was why she was being overly friendly. Maybe she's just a super friendly gal.

If I recall correctly, you are like 17 so too young to get into a bar but SeattleStranger has great advice that you should just pretend in your head that you already have a girl, and try to project more confidence. Same for going to a strip club and just getting over this "pussy on a pedestal" thing you have going on.

Also, when you say "random guy" does this mean the interactions are one offs and not actually women you see regularly? If so, you are wayyy overthinking things. I don't think anything about "random guys" that I see at the mall, the grocery store, the gym etc...

 

[Clitnhawk]

Colonel Contin, excellent post. I'm new here and never saw the other posts.

Over-thinking about women, planning for failure = failure.

As the Col. Says... just flirt and talk with them with them like a human being. I used to be that "nice guy" - and in many ways, I *AM* a nice guy, but who is sometimes an asshole.
You're "innocence" is not god's gift to women. Look at your self. What can you tell any woman, or man for that matter - that is interesting about YOU?

"I'm a student" - okay? what else? Join social clubs... talk about your experiences, make new ones. Don't worry about getting laid.

There is no such thing as the "pussy on a pedestal" - and mind you, my wife's pussy is top notch. But she's a lot more than a simply a place to put my penis.
You'll never ever EVER meet that PERFECT 100% woman... okay, may you will... but she's going to be with someone else, so it won't matter... and if you happen to talk to her, you'll say something stupid and scare her away.

So, date what you can - get better at it.

You can be a young stud hunky guy, who is an ass... and lose women to other guys. I've seen it. He was pissed that he wasn't get laid at a party in which there were some naked women (and guys). While a 50yr old who is COOL and confident, can and will get laid.

 

[deano88]

Don't be scared to fuck up and if you do learn from it and move on the confidence will come. I cringe thinking back to the way I was with some women when I was 17 lol. just practice on some ugly girls and work your way up, don't take yourself too seriously and try to make girls laugh, women love to be teased.

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

Lol no.. but "innocence" means nothing to me..?? It obviously has a greater meaning to you.

 

[Pagey]

I have a similar pattern with girls who approach me or give me attention first.

For example I went to this barber shop and the girl started to randomly tease about my hair and touching my ear and then she was like " Joking" and giggling. But I just smiled ( a bit nervous) and was quiet. She then started asking questions about myself and i replied and I asked questions about her too, so that it was a normal conversation. ( No flirty comments at all from my side) .
I asked the same questions she was asking; like " where are you from" , job oriented, hobbies,etc.

Then she asked me about what I was doing and I told I study at the University. Then she casually mentions about her boyfriend studying at the University just like me. Although she didn't mention his name or anything.

Hmm. To be honest she could really just have been talking to you in a friendly manner, some girls are just like that. Or she might have been trying to get your attention by flirting, purely to see if she could, while still having a boyfriend. I've gotta admit I've done that before
Would be my best bet but who knows really.

 

[oqj]

We've been over this. This is at least your 5th thread about the same topic.

Not every single interaction you have with a female is going to entail her sizing you up sexually. Your barber was cutting your hair. She wanted you to tip her which was why she was being overly friendly. Maybe she's just a super friendly gal.

If I recall correctly, you are like 17 so too young to get into a bar but SeattleStranger has great advice that you should just pretend in your head that you already have a girl, and try to project more confidence. Same for going to a strip club and just getting over this "pussy on a pedestal" thing you have going on.

Also, when you say "random guy" does this mean the interactions are one offs and not actually women you see regularly? If so, you are wayyy overthinking things. I don't think anything about "random guys" that I see at the mall, the grocery store, the gym etc...

Thanks for your post The thing is it happens with a lot of girls ...Not just the barber ( besides she acts normal with other guys ) . It has been a SIMILAR PATTERN... SO I AM TRYING TO FIND A COMMON DENOMINATOR . Many girls have approached me for my attention and then BANG" I HAVE A BOYFRIEND" and the thing is I maintain a normal conversation without getting flirty.
So it is very confusing for me..you c