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Girlfriend sharing a bed with a guy friend

As another poster said, this is like some high school drama shit shes trying to pull. Either she's trying to get you to break up with her(similar situation happened to me in highschool, sent that bitch packin), make you jealous, gets some sick pleasure out of doing this to you, is a whore, or all of the above/combination of the above.

Only if an open relationship was agreed upon would I let my gf do such a thing. You said she wants monogamy, shes breaking her own rule. She will most likely fuck one of these guys if she hasn't already. My advice to you, dump her ass before she dumps you, or atleast be prepared for a breakup and don't fret over it, go find yourself someone that will treat you with the love and respect that every human being deserves.
 
please stop arguing everyone. OP's questions doesn't sound implausible at all so chill out

OP this girl is playing games with you

what do you get out of this ldr?


seriously??

people will put up with the negatives of another for the comfort of hugs and the joys of sex on tap. ldr doesn't have this so the personality connection needs to be strong with the potential soon for being together on the regular otherwise what is the point?

ldr needs to have a huge friendship backbones and trying to induce jealousy in you is not what a friend would do to another if they were serious about each other
 
Although some people are cool with their partners sharing a bed with someone, I can see how it could cross the line. If my boyfriend was sleeping in the same bed as his best friend (female), I wouldn't care because I know her. If it was another girl then yeah I would wonder about it. And I am not even a jealous person. She should be a bit more respectful of your relationship. You seem pretty easy going and not a jealous guy so if there is something like that you don't feel comfortable with, I don't see why she wouldn't consider your feelings.

However when you said this:

relationshipquesti said:
oh added note. She has been saying recently that she really needs to get f*cked and also told me two weeks ago that if she ended up in a hotel with a guy alone she would most likely end up having sex with him because she is so horny.
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I just thought.... wow..... what a terrible girlfriend. She's telling you she's going to cheat on you?
Sounds like a terrible relationship and you should get out of it. You can do much better.... there are many females out there... trust me, you'll find someone else.
 
relationshipquesti said:
So, do you think it is reasonable for your girlfriend to sleep in bed with another guy?
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why are you even asking this? you have a problem with her behavior so what other people think is irrelevant.

also, these things are rarely symmetrical so statements like "it doesn't bother me so it shouldn't bother you" are also irrelevant.

you need to tell her how you feel and talk it through.

alasdair
 
Personally, yes. Problem. Couldn't tolerate such acts. Have a younger sister who claims this type of behavior is normal nowadays but I just don't get it.

Joined a Theatre group years ago in Seattle and come nighttime they all jumped into bed together and asked me to join them. I spent the night in my van alone.

Hey, why you be wasting your time with someone who makes you uncomfortable through her actions or threat of them? Self worth man. Grab some.
 
WOW... I had seen this thread before & just didn't read it because I figured I would have a different view than the others, but I don't! The last sentence of your post was all it took for me to decide she is not worth your time.

Growing up (my teen years) I had this guy friend, he was from a different state & just acted very different from anyone I had ever met. He use to sleep in the same bed as me or if my boyfriend was there, then he would sleep with both of us. He was friends with us both so there is one difference. I always thought it was strange, but then again so was he. I remember we all went to the beach one time & it was someone he knew that had a condo we could stay in. When we get there my boyfriend & I take the room with the queen size bed, since we are the only couple that went. Heck he came in & slept with us. I let it go on most of the week because it was basically his condo. By the end of the trip I made him sleep on the couch because 3 people in a queen size bed was just too much.

Your story is a whole different kind of screwed up though. Read that last sentence you typed & that should be all you need to make your own decision. I wish you the best!


Jen
 
hm. I see why this would upset you but I'm thinking did she tell you this to get you upset or to see if you'd get jealous? (mind games..tests..)
or maybe she really isnt fucking around cuz if she was, why would she disclose that kind of info to you? I mean, its long distance so if she wanted to cheat on you she could. Why even tell you she was sharing a bed? Unless she's mind fucking you...
 
M'k,

So a chicks perspective irl...

My ex is here tonight, as he has been all week. He calls cmng here cmng home after wrk, and we split yrs ago. Now extenuating circumstances...

Just ystrdy he was a pallbearer at his best mates funeral, I've mainly been in wds all week. We've shared a bed all week,- tho neither of us have been drunk or high, umm, well maybe one of us :)

There is no sexual intention, we have a deep platonic r'ship and talk at least a few times a day if we're not together.

The caveat however, is that I'm dating a guy. I'm not telling my ex this for various reasons.... & I'm not telling the new guy.Men can be such masochistic, mysogynistic, retards at times that I've learnt realistically, I can only have one guy in my life, (and bed), at a time.

However, OP, everyone's experiences and reality are subjective,- but u take the lead from here.

Rtp
 
Mel22 said:
Come on man, really? You have to ask?

She is disrespecting ...
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260tuli.jpg
 
relationshipquesti said:
So, do you think it is reasonable for your girlfriend to sleep in bed with another guy?
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Absolutely not.

I asked her how she would feel if I messaged her saying that I was in bed with a girl and was planning to sleep the night in the bed with her.


Anyhow she ended up getting upset, saying it wasn't sexual and that I was unreasonable to have concerns and that I should trust her.
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Did she answer your question? HER getting upset and accusing you of things in this situation is a deflection and a cop-out.

Besides, how could you possibly tell her that you trusted her when she says things like this: ?

She has been saying recently that she really needs to get f*cked and also told me two weeks ago that if she ended up in a hotel with a guy alone she would most likely end up having sex with him because she is so horny.
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Seems like she's contradicting herself pretty transparently.
 
I would not allow this in a relationship and I wouldn't do it to any girl I was with either.

I've shared a bed with a female 'friend' before, and we almost ended up fucking. She was married at the time too, but we'd been out, had a few drinks and well, yeah she had to stop herself. If I was in a relationship, (currently dating a girl and getting there), there would be no more sharing beds with anyone out of respect to the girl I was with.

I've been that guy, single, had a female 'friend' who had a partner, and at the first opportunity, I would have had sex with her. Your girlfriend's 'friend' IS that guy.
 
Runtoparadise said:
The caveat however, is that I'm dating a guy. I'm not telling my ex this for various reasons.... & I'm not telling the new guy.
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What are your reasons? Surely if they're solid, they would be understood by your partner and platonic friend of many years? Why do you feel you have something to hide, are you ashamed or scared of something? You're basing an interaction on false context and premise, and that creates asymmetry. It's not even about sexual intent, it's about telling the truth and not being deceptive to those you are close to. Were I in their position, I would be less offended by the fact you're sharing a bed with two people (for whatever reason), and more hurt by the fact that you were being dishonest.

How would you feel if you found out your boyfriend was secretly sleeping in his ex's bed after telling her he was single?
 
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mkd said:
I would not allow this in a relationship and I wouldn't do it to any girl I was with either.

I've shared a bed with a female 'friend' before, and we almost ended up fucking. She was married at the time too, but we'd been out, had a few drinks and well, yeah she had to stop herself. If I was in a relationship, (currently dating a girl and getting there), there would be no more sharing beds with anyone out of respect to the girl I was with.

I've been that guy, single, had a female 'friend' who had a partner, and at the first opportunity, I would have had sex with her. Your girlfriend's 'friend' IS that guy.
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Well said mkd :)
 
generally, id say one offs of sleeping in the same bed in certain situations is fine if you trust her and know the guy.

however, your situation is pretty weird. the last sentence of your post, OP, pretty much says it all... it s your life but you both seem young and this situation will lead to more hurt than it has to
 
Run. Immediately.

When single, I often shared beds with no sexual reason, however: I would never dream of it now I'm in a relationship. That is a betrayal of trust, immature and frankly ridiculous.
 
She shouldn't even be sleeping at other guys houses to be honest. But if she does, it should not be in the same room. and by your added note, she sounds slutty and not like a girlfriend that is a keeper.
 
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