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Girlfriend sharing a bed with a guy friend

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relationshipquesti

Greenlighter
Joined
Sep 29, 2014
Messages
5
Hi


Just wanting your various opinions on this one.


My girlfriend has a lot of guy friends she hangs out with. I'm fine with that. She goes out drinking etc with them.


We are dating long distance, across two countries.


Anyhow, this morning I woke up and saw she had messaged me recently, so I messaged her to say hi. She said she was round the house of some guy friends, and she was spending the night there. She was drunk and high. We chatted a bit, then she said she was in bed with one of the guys smoking. Ok. Different, but ok. She also sent me a video of her cuddled up to this guy in the bed.


Anyhow we continued chatting, and she said she was tired. So I asked if she was going to sleep, and if it was going to be in the bed with this guy.


She said yes she was, which personally I don't consider appropriate. I don't mind her hanging with her guy friends, but sleeping in bed with one of them I don't consider to be ok.


I asked her how she would feel if I messaged her saying that I was in bed with a girl and was planning to sleep the night in the bed with her.


Anyhow she ended up getting upset, saying it wasn't sexual and that I was unreasonable to have concerns and that I should trust her.


I told her I do trust her, but I don't trust the guy, because it don't know him or anything about him. That made no difference to her and she got more upset, and ignored my messages after that.


My messages to her were not angry, and I told her I was not, but that I was just asking her so I had more information.


So, do you think it is reasonable for your girlfriend to sleep in bed with another guy?


oh added note. She has been saying recently that she really needs to get f*cked and also told me two weeks ago that if she ended up in a hotel with a guy alone she would most likely end up having sex with him because she is so horny.
 
relationshipquesti said:
So, do you think it is reasonable for your girlfriend to sleep in bed with another guy?
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Why do you care what I think? It's your life.

But since you asked... NO.

Seems like the long distance relationship is hurting her and she wants to hurt you back. And that it's not meeting her needs and she's giving you a hint that one way or another she is going to get them met (and already has, to some extent even if she has not had sex with another man yet).
 
To hell with this women.. she sounds like a child, i would run.. very far.. and not look back.

I mean, the fact she sent you a video of her cuddled up next to a guy in bed.. that's a serious red flag. Talk about been sadistic.
 
Come on man, really? You have to ask?

She is disrespecting and humiliating you...making you look like a cuckold pussy to this random guy who is probably about to fuck her, or at the very least, try. Straight out telling you that if she had the opportunity, she would fuck a random guy because she's "horny." That's how much she values you and what you have together. She is intentionally trying to make you insecure and paranoid. She is mind-fucking you and you're allowing it.

What a disgraceful excuse for a woman, and a disgraceful excuse for a relationship. This isn't love or respect. You deserve better than this unhealthy mess.

She is emasculating you and trying to break you down. Not only does she not respect you or the relationship, but for some sad reason, she's playing twisted mind games and trying to hurt you.

I don't intend to offend, but you really need to open your eyes before you allow yourself to get smashed to pieces. Please consider therapy to address the issues that enable you to allow yourself to be treated like this. It's not good for you.

Have some pride...kick her to the curb and don't look back. If you continue allowing women to treat you like dirt, you'll end up a sad empty shell of your former self. See a professional, build your self-esteem and determine your worth...surely it's more than this.

Good luck.
 
Maybe you guys should have an open relationship. She does her thing, you do your thing. When ya'll finally get back together, then reevaluate the whole situation. If she has that kind of freedom, I think you should to. OR you could kick her to the curve like Mel recommends.

She may not being fucking any of the guys, but I'm sure it's pretty close to it.

I wonder what a moderator on this forum would do?

Where the moderator's at!?
 
Teabag Johnny said:
Maybe you guys should have an open relationship. She does her thing, you do your thing. When ya'll finally get back together, then reevaluate the whole situation. If she has that kind of freedom, I think you should to.
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when we first talked about dating, she made it very clear she wanted a monogamous relationship.
 
Sounds like she's looking for some excitement. How long have you been long distance?
 
lmao , most of the responses in this thread said what I was about to say in a more blunt, and probably more accurate fashion.
 
It doesn't seem like she has the maturity or desire to make a long distance relationship work. I wouldn't waste anymore time on her.
 
And you're with her, why..? To be honest, this is the type of shit that I would pull with my boyfriends when I was 16 or 17 to get a rise out of them. It almost made me feel more desirable. If you are in an adult relationship, this behavior is inappropriate and she sounds extremely immature. By staying with this girl (notice I didn't use the term "woman"), you're only disrespecting yourself and setting yourself up for disappointment and frustration.
 
Dont mind nutty he can be rather abrasive at times. =D

Going out drinking and "sleeping" in the same bed. She is absolutely with out a doubt having sex with them. Give her freedom or move back and be her man.. I don't know why they call it a long distance "relationship" because there isn't much of a relationship there. He probably has to hear her whine and bitch about you though. Women, I trust them, to be women<3
 
Haha hell no I'd let her know what's up real quick and that I'm not no dumbass pushover nice guy lol.
 
I think it all really depends on how much you actually have feelings for this girl ! If your cool with her fucking other men then that's your prerogative! personally i would never talk to her again ! But hey that's me and you are you. Open relationships usually don't last and have almost no real meaning other then sex, some people do have some very unique understandings that i personally have a hard time wrapping my head around. But then again when it comes to a women i love or feel like i've had a deep connection with I do not share her like some may be able to. I am hers and she is mine and that is that! break my trust, disrespect my love and you are no longer in my life!
 
relationshipquesti said:
huh? What's that got to do with anything?

is that directed at me? I joined this forum specifically to ask this question, do you have a problem with that??
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You're either trolling or seriously need to grow a pair. Is that better? I mean what fucking guy comes to an internet forum to ask if it's reasonable for his girlfriend to sleep in bed with another guy?
 
nuttynutskin said:
You're either trolling or seriously need to grow a pair. Is that better? I mean what fucking guy comes to an internet forum to ask if it's reasonable for his girlfriend to sleep in bed with another guy?
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hey man you dont know what some people are cool with ! maybe thats how his whole family rolls !? polygamy and all
 
nuttynutskin said:
You're either trolling or seriously need to grow a pair. Is that better? I mean what fucking guy comes to an internet forum to ask if it's reasonable for his girlfriend to sleep in bed with another guy?
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The whole point of asking this question is because people have all kinds of ideas about what is ok these days. Different ways of thinking in different age groups, cultures etc. I'm trying to find out what others think. I know what I think.

forums are places to ask things and get people's ideas. If you think that means there's something wrong with me, then you really just need to get off this thread, your superior ways of thinking are not needed
 
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