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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

Gibberings CCXV -- 2C-B And A Mine Field Of Fuckery...

Was sinking before i left but it seems even worse now. Thank fuck ive seen no evey posts though
 
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EZ BCF - good to see you posting

It is. It's beautiful and wasted on shut in waster wankers like me. In all honesty I have been out, as my pre - rehab group meets ever Monda. It's the worst day of the week for me as any motivation that may be instilled by my attendance is removed the moment I get in the car to drive me home. It's a 90 minute drive there and 80 minutes back f the traffic is clear during which time I have to listen to my mother, who refuses t leave the louse for any reason but will not allow herself to be left alone. So, I always enter the group feeling as shit as I can ("Once again I have to miss Loose Woman because you're a druggy, I wish you were dead, etc etc etc). It took 40mgs of flubromazeam just to get in the car with her, I have to sit in then back as she is constantly loosing her temper and punches me in the back fo the head, or tries to throttle me with the seatbelt every journey. I felt so fucking flat that me dad agreed to do a liittle shopping in a certain kocation in the North Wolverhampton residential esatates, which would give me the chance to go for a little walk. It added about 40 minutes onto what is already an unbearable mission, each and every week, but it unfortunately gave me quick and easy access to one of the current numbers that are banging out Taliban grade chunky rocks of no. 3 hroin which I grabbed 2 of. Sadly, within 4 minutes of getting home I had cranked one and am feeling considerably better for it. It's really strong, I've just a spliff ready for after (I'd rather have a plate instead of shooting it but firstly, I need the maximum mileage out of this shit, and most importantly, this cannot continue.

If I cannot make it too next weeks group without having used at some point in the week, I a going to withdraw from drug services, rattle off the meth (If that's possible - I do not know I've detoxed from heroin 3 times cold turkey but haven never withdrawn from Meth and as soonas I'm well enoug remove myself fro, teh house. If I cannot get anywhere on my own wits then I will inevitably relapse, only I know I wont survive anther one. As long as I go out quietly then I'll settle for that as I just drag everythng down with me whether I go and whatever I do. I need this rehab to turn my life around, my mother is doing everything in her power to sabotage my chances at stabalisingmy drug intake so they can detox my safely before the programme starts, but with me having no value in my life whatsoever, It's too easy an option to use as an antidote for how unbearable she is especially when stuck in a car with her. SO, once more I am giving up on the day and retreating into bed with my last bag load loaded and ready to go with a spliff chase. As I'm not allowed to speak to or spend any time with my father without her starting a fight, it's the only time of day when I feel truly content, as I can stick an audiobook on and forget about my life for 8 - 12 hours. When yiour only asperatio is to be unconscious, it should be obvious to anyone that I have little interest in anything that currently occupies my existence.

t
 
mate if i knew id be getting in a car journey with the beast from hell (from yer descriptions) id be dropping that 40mg of flubro in HER tea before the journey, why put up with that shit, mental illness or not i wouldn't be taking that shit, don't let her illness make you feel worthless.. can you get onto the social services n get on a waiting list for a flat of your own? sounds like you need it more than ever
 
breakcorefiend said:
mate if i knew id be getting in a car journey with the beast from hell (from yer descriptions) id be dropping that 40mg of flubro in HER tea before the journey, why put up with that shit, mental illness or not i wouldn't be taking that shit, don't let her illness make you feel worthless.. can you get onto the social services n get on a waiting list for a flat of your own? sounds like you need it more than ever
Click to expand...

Yeah, I'm not for drugging people without their knowledge, but at that point I'd probably say fuck it. And honestly, I don't approve of hitting women under almost all circumstances, but at that point, I'd have to cock back and rock even my own mother in the dome. However, I would just stay the hell away from her in the first place if she was like that, so that it wouldn't come to that.
 
I told my mates that I'd be back in 10 minutes.. then the mescaline struck. I sit down on a hill and watch laser lights ignite the evening. Through the rainbow flavoured smoke, a girl with love heart shaped nipples dances past me and says something I don't catch. She stops, we smoke weed.

I see a wallet fall from this guy's back pocket as he picks his water bottle up from the ground. I take it over to him. Immediately, he checks to see that his cash -a lot of cash apparently- is still in there. He looks at me in disbelief and insists that I chill with him and his friends.

I would, but I have to get back, I told my friends that I'd be ---

"You want a bump of rack?"

...

I sit down and sniff from the white powdery tip at the pointed end of a diagonally rolled twenty dollar bill. My nose is numb and I'm drifting through a sea of people feeling better than I've felt for far too long.

I sit back down with my friends, grinning at nothing in particular and sipping from an icy cold can of coca cola, the origins of which I am completely uncertain of. It just kept getting better too.

.. I think I just had the best weekend of my life.
 
^

Awesome, Kaden.


I'm in rural Thailand with work at the moment.

Thai's have better food, cheaper snacks, better taste in cars, music and motorcycles. And the women are hotter.

But I still prefer my home in Camboland.

Had a nice dinner last night. Had 5 people and 5 nationalities chowing. Was cool.
 
I just inadvertently activated the voice command feature on my iPad, so I told it to "fuck off". It then responded with "hey, I don't think I deserved that!" I'm now feeling guilty about swearing at a computer. WTF?
 
fucking prudish computer.

i really hate voice activation - i have a friend that uses "siri" on her iphone, and it does my head in.
i said to her "you do realise that that microphone listens to - and analyses everything you say (leading to targeted advertising, for instance) right?"

siri's a stuck-up bitch IMO. tell her to piss off mate ;)
 
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