Gibberings CCXV -- 2C-B And A Mine Field Of Fuckery...

[Don Luigi]

What about 'shooting the shit' because that was not a head shot, it was shite. It's the sort of thing Ulster farmers say after each remark when gathered in groups.

 

[Tranced]

fubar, I love me some good old pest control stories. You ever dealt with anything interesting; the more disgusting the better (and obviously that's not including the miscreants on here)

Bedbugs? Cockroaches (are they even native)? Anything rare? What would I probably want the least?

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Not dealt with anything really disgusting yet, but bedbugs and cockroaches many a time. Went to a house once and it was crawling with bedbugs. They were all over the walls, the beds, the furniture, even in the electrical sockets. The occupants had bite marks all over their arms and upper body (they don't tend to bite the lower parts of the body because they're attracted to the CO2 in your breath) and apparently the poor kids were the same. We had to remove all their furniture and carpets for incineration then heat treat the entire house (heating to 60°C kills the eggs, which otherwise can lay dormant for up to 6 months until they detect CO2 from a host, then they hatch). The most likely places to pick up bedbugs are hotels and commercial airliners. Some of the more expensive hotel chains are infested (not naming any names) due to the large throughput of international travellers.

As for cockroaches, we have native ones for sure, but also German, Japanese and American species. They're bastards to get rid of as well because their eggs can lie dormant for a couple of years.

To date, the most disgusting thing that's happened to me personally was in an office where they had reported nasty smells. Sure enough, the place stank of dead rat. I lifted up one of the ceiling tiles and got showered with rat shit and maggots, then the remains of the rat itself. Lovely. Then I had to clean it all up...

Hornets are fun as well. I'd never seen hornets before last summer - I got a call to treat a wasps nest at an army barracks and when I got there it was a fuckin hornet's nest. Man, they're huge (about 2 inches long), and the most intimidating insect I've ever seen, but luckily not as aggressive as German wasps (they're the ones that build nests in holes in the ground and sting you just for fun). I got suited up and approached the nest slowly. When I was about 3 feet away, several hornets walked out of their nest in the roots of a fallen tree and just sat there glaring at me. Then I heard a loud droning noise and a group of hornets appeared from nowhere, flying in perfect formation, and stopped in a line a couple of feet in front of me and just hovered there in a really menacing way, while making a noise literally like a squadron of B52 bombers. It was one of the most intimidating experiences of my life as I didn't know whether they were going to attack. Even though I had a suit on, it was only the top half and I've had wasps get inside it before - which is a right laugh I can tell you

But strangely, they allowed me to attack their nest without attacking me - probably cos I look like a right 'ard cunt - and soon broke formation to go help their fallen comrades. It saddens me to kill creatures like that (i don't enjoy killing anything, but sometimes it's a necessary evil - like war), because they have such an amazingly organised and complex society that they must surely be sentient, yet in a way that is totally alien to us mere humans. I've not yet been stung by a hornet, but there's always a first time, and I believe it's not a very pleasant experience...

 

[Bearlove]

Well I managed to make myself pretty ill last week (drink and stupidity)- two days doing the dash from bed to bathroom and it took me three days to recover. I was so poorly I couldn't even face a drink over the weekend .

Have a great week everyone

 

[matt<3ketamine]

Fubar you have described my nightmare, fuckin wasps n hornets, in formations, fuck that for a game of darts

I jumped through 2 sets of desks in school when a wasp came through the window during one french lesson, whole class had a good giggle while I was freakin out

 

[consumer]

Well I managed to make myself pretty ill last week (drink and stupidity)- two days doing the dash from bed to bathroom and it took me three days to recover. I was so poorly I couldn't even face a drink over the weekend .

Have a great week everyone

Let me guess. Tequila.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Well I managed to make myself pretty ill last week (drink and stupidity)- two days doing the dash from bed to bathroom and it took me three days to recover. I was so poorly I couldn't even face a drink over the weekend .

Have a great week everyone

Pah! Fuckin poof.

Oh, hang on...

 

[Don Luigi]

Fubar you have described my nightmare, fuckin wasps n hornets, in formations, fuck that for a game of darts

I jumped through 2 sets of desks in school when a wasp came through the window during one french lesson, whole class had a good giggle while I was freakin out

When I was a wean my childminder moved out to the country. It was great as a kid to have that space to roam. We were building a hut in a field one day during the summer and we stumbled upon a wasp nest. One of my childminder's sons started swatting the wasps with a riding crop to piss them off but they didn't seem too bothered. He then threw a log at the nest, causing it to explode. We all darted back to the house getting chased by the wasps. They followed us into the house and stung everyone up really bad. I hid in the bathroom with a towel at the bottom of the door.

I only got stung once but the kid who threw the log got stung thirteen times.

Serves him right, the bastard. The same kid had fallen down a manhole the year before :D

 

[consumer]

Pah! Fuckin poof.

Oh, hang on...

Lol

 

[Urbain]

Not dealt with anything really disgusting yet, but bedbugs and cockroaches many a time. Went to a house once and it was crawling with bedbugs. They were all over the walls, the beds, the furniture, even in the electrical sockets. The occupants had bite marks all over their arms and upper body (they don't tend to bite the lower parts of the body because they're attracted to the CO2 in your breath) and apparently the poor kids were the same. We had to remove all their furniture and carpets for incineration then heat treat the entire house (heating to 60°C kills the eggs, which otherwise can lay dormant for up to 6 months until they detect CO2 from a host, then they hatch). The most likely places to pick up bedbugs are hotels and commercial airliners. Some of the more expensive hotel chains are infested (not naming any names) due to the large throughput of international travellers.

As for cockroaches, we have native ones for sure, but also German, Japanese and American species. They're bastards to get rid of as well because their eggs can lie dormant for a couple of years.

To date, the most disgusting thing that's happened to me personally was in an office where they had reported nasty smells. Sure enough, the place stank of dead rat. I lifted up one of the ceiling tiles and got showered with rat shit and maggots, then the remains of the rat itself. Lovely. Then I had to clean it all up...

Hornets are fun as well. I'd never seen hornets before last summer - I got a call to treat a wasps nest at an army barracks and when I got there it was a fuckin hornet's nest. Man, they're huge (about 2 inches long), and the most intimidating insect I've ever seen, but luckily not as aggressive as German wasps (they're the ones that build nests in holes in the ground and sting you just for fun). I got suited up and approached the nest slowly. When I was about 3 feet away, several hornets walked out of their nest in the roots of a fallen tree and just sat there glaring at me. Then I heard a loud droning noise and a group of hornets appeared from nowhere, flying in perfect formation, and stopped in a line a couple of feet in front of me and just hovered there in a really menacing way, while making a noise literally like a squadron of B52 bombers. It was one of the most intimidating experiences of my life as I didn't know whether they were going to attack. Even though I had a suit on, it was only the top half and I've had wasps get inside it before - which is a right laugh I can tell you

But strangely, they allowed me to attack their nest without attacking me - probably cos I look like a right 'ard cunt - and soon broke formation to go help their fallen comrades. It saddens me to kill creatures like that (i don't enjoy killing anything, but sometimes it's a necessary evil - like war), because they have such an amazingly organised and complex society that they must surely be sentient, yet in a way that is totally alien to us mere humans. I've not yet been stung by a hornet, but there's always a first time, and I believe it's not a very pleasant experience...

I loved the hornet story man!

 

[matt<3ketamine]

When I was a wean my childminder moved out to the country. It was great as a kid to have that space to roam. We were building a hut in a field one day during the summer and we stumbled upon a wasp nest. One of my childminder's sons started swatting the wasps with a riding crop to piss them off but they didn't seem too bothered. He then threw a log at the nest, causing it to explode. We all darted back to the house getting chased by the wasps. They followed us into the house and stung everyone up really bad. I hid in the bathroom with a towel at the bottom of the door.

I only got stung once but the kid who threw the log got stung thirteen times.

Serves him right, the bastard. The same kid had fallen down a manhole the year before :D

I woulda kicked the cunt down a manhole for that, def woulda been doin the same as ya and hiding sumwhere

I twitch like I'm on crack if I hear any buzzing near me

 

[Bearlove]

Let me guess. Tequila.

Pah! Fuckin poof.

Oh, hang on...

Yes and yes :D - I spent the day sitting in the sun drinking but then later that evening I got a migraine (first one in years). Wiped me out and left me with the shakes, palpitations that lasted a few days. I made a drink of pink salt, honey, lemon juice and water which helped me hydrate but - phew rough couple of days. I haven't had a drink since and I couldn't even face one today.

 

[Sadie]

So, had my colonoscopy yesterday. What a non load of shite. "sedate me?" fuck off. " we're gonna sedate you so you're calm. It's designed to ensure you don't remember any of the procedure" supposedly 4mg of midazolam I felt and clearly remember every damn inch of your three foot coil woman! Don't talk pish and I'm highly drug sensitive. AND...... I have to get at least another one done. Well fuck me in the arse! That ain't happening to the same specs again I can tell you! Fuck that! Doesn't help I was seriously thirsty and hangry too.

NOT GREAT!

 

[Bella Figura]

Ouch, was the midazolam IV'd or oral? Glad you came out in one piece!

 

[Sadie]

Came out in tatters. Twas IV

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

I twitch like I'm on crack if I hear any buzzing near me

Guess your Mrs doesn't use her vibrator very often then?

Yes and yes :D - I spent the day sitting in the sun drinking but then later that evening I got a migraine (first one in years). Wiped me out and left me with the shakes, palpitations that lasted a few days. I made a drink of pink salt, honey, lemon juice and water which helped me hydrate but - phew rough couple of days. I haven't had a drink since and I couldn't even face one today.

It's strange how certain types of booze can sometimes have that effect. I've noticed that I get a fuckin horrendous headache if I drink Frosty Jack's cider after eating a banana. I'm never going near another banana again...

So, had my colonoscopy yesterday. What a non load of shite. "sedate me?" fuck off. " we're gonna sedate you so you're calm. It's designed to ensure you don't remember any of the procedure" supposedly 4mg of midazolam I felt and clearly remember every damn inch of your three foot coil woman! Don't talk pish and I'm highly drug sensitive. AND...... I have to get at least another one done. Well fuck me in the arse! That ain't happening to the same specs again I can tell you! Fuck that! Doesn't help I was seriously thirsty and hangry too.

NOT GREAT!

Ooof! That sounds nasty. You should have demanded "gimme more fuckin drugs now bitch!!"

A mate of mine had an attempted colonoscopy recently. He chickened out after a couple of Inches, so fair play to ya!

 

[consumer]

Its a wonder you dont get them on the reg FUBAR

 

[Sadie]

*removes consumer from FUBARs anus * not for the first time

Just book a flight man, FUBAR will thank you.

 

[consumer]

*removes consumer from FUBARs anus * not for the first time

Just book a flight man, FUBAR will thank you.

Not going near that dude. I aint ending up in his cellar of horrors.

 

[Sadie]

You just like to flirt from afar. You dirty tease!