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Gay guys into Bears, but aren't , themselves , a bear?

C

conscious-observed

Bluelighter
Joined
May 12, 2015
Messages
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I'm 25, and have known since an early teen that I had a preference for "beefier" guys. In my area, it seems that guys in whom I develop interest are not particularly into those who aren't almost of an identical body composition... Is this a thing? Or is this my own biased perceived exclusion?
 
You are correct. The majority of bisexual and gay men who are "bears" are pretty much only either only attracted to, or primarily attracted to other "bears".
 
Not all bears are only into bears - I think its a bit of a crazy notion that because your beefy and hairy or smooth and slim you would only like the same type of guys?
 
so annoying had this with a hot dude who was slim n fit only liked fat dudes. sad face
 
Bearlove said:
Not all bears are only into bears - I think its a bit of a crazy notion that because your beefy and hairy or smooth and slim you would only like the same type of guys?
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I'm still not quite sure, but I think I get what a bear is. A dude who is big, either because he is muscular or just flabby, and hairy. Starbucks coffee dude in San Francisco who is a bear had a crush on me. Starbucks coffee girl in Portland Oregon is like a female bear and had a crush on me. Starbucks coffee girl, another bear, in Moscow, Idaho had a crush on me too. I'm muscular but have a slim build and not attracted to bears of either gender.
 
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socko said:
I'm still not quite sure, but I think I get what a bear is. A dude who is big, either because he is muscular or just flabby, and hairy. Starbucks coffee dude in San Francisco who is a bear had a crush on me. Starbucks coffee girl in Portland Oregon is like a female bear and had a crush on me. I'm muscular but have a slim build.
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Bears are normally larger build / heavy (fat or muscle) and hairy - there are a load of sub groups under the bear umbrella that include hairy slim guys, hairy muscle guys etc. Lots of bears like bear chasers or admirers are normally not a bear themselves (all a bit silly really but people love labels).
 
Maybe I'm fishing in too small a pond, so to speak. I will say that the fact that I've never had a guy show interest in me to whom I've been attracted is discouraging, to say the least. Thanks for the replies. Lol I can at least find comfort knowing that I'm not crazy.
 
I don't have first experience (as I'm not a gay guy) but, even thinking logically..... not everyone is attracted to only what they are like. Otherwise EVERYONE would be gay. People probably wouldn't date outside their race... or age.
So not everyone who looks a certain way is into those that look the same way.
 
Clitnhawk said:
I think its that bears are "manly men".
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In looks alone - there again is the full spectrum of (Im not sure what the spectrum is :D so forgive me if I offend) Screaming/flaming - to butch? I know some really big beefy guys (bears) who are really effeminate (not saying that is wrong).

I love bears (surprise surprise)!
 
conscious-observed said:
I'm 25, and have known since an early teen that I had a preference for "beefier" guys. In my area, it seems that guys in whom I develop interest are not particularly into those who aren't almost of an identical body composition... Is this a thing? Or is this my own biased perceived exclusion?
Click to expand...
Hmm. I can't speak much for a gay guy because I am bisexual, but I do know that I definitely have a specific type of man I am attracted to. Because I am bi, and only have physical relationships with men, I am very particular with whom I will get with. I'm a slender guy. About 5'10 and 165lbs, I have an athletic physique. Guys I am into must be the same height or taller, and definitely bigger than me. Some might qualify as what you guys are referring to as "bears". I become quite effeminate when I am with a man of interest, and want to be treated as such. Whether or not he is a bear, I need him to be a MAN.
 
conscious-observed said:
I'm 25, and have known since an early teen that I had a preference for "beefier" guys. In my area, it seems that guys in whom I develop interest are not particularly into those who aren't almost of an identical body composition... Is this a thing? Or is this my own biased perceived exclusion?
Click to expand...

Here (and I'm in a fairly small area), 25 is a pretty sweet spot age wise. Wait until you are 40 and see all the ads "...blah blah blah, no one over 35". As for body type, there seems to be more interest in dick size than anything else, which is sad. My arm is bigger than any dick, so there! lol seriously tho, I dont know what to tell you. I do prefer men that are somewhat like me physically, tho I know of guys old enough to be my dad who are interested only in guys young enough to be my son. there seems to be a lot of racial exclusion as well here.

Just a guess here, but a big guy might not like a little guy because the little guy makes him self conscious (unless the bigger guy is muscular)?

I know that although I dont have a particular body type, effeminate (especially, an forgive if this is the wrong term, "flamer" type) guys dont do it for me at all, tho that may because I'm bi, but I also dont like super girly women either.

Not to derail OP's topic, but what are "cubs"? Is this younger/smaller/less hairy "bears", or am I barking up the wrong tree?
 
Kid Amine said:
Here (and I'm in a fairly small area), 25 is a pretty sweet spot age wise. Wait until you are 40 and see all the ads "...blah blah blah, no one over 35". As for body type, there seems to be more interest in dick size than anything else, which is sad. My arm is bigger than any dick, so there! lol seriously tho, I dont know what to tell you. I do prefer men that are somewhat like me physically, tho I know of guys old enough to be my dad who are interested only in guys young enough to be my son. there seems to be a lot of racial exclusion as well here.

Just a guess here, but a big guy might not like a little guy because the little guy makes him self conscious (unless the bigger guy is muscular)?

I know that although I dont have a particular body type, effeminate (especially, an forgive if this is the wrong term, "flamer" type) guys dont do it for me at all, tho that may because I'm bi, but I also dont like super girly women either.

Not to derail OP's topic, but what are "cubs"? Is this younger/smaller/less hairy "bears", or am I barking up the wrong tree?
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Cubs = small bears normally younger or younger looking, hairy. Don't forget a lot of bears or big gay men are happy with their weight so having a skinny boyfriend is not a problem. Some skinny guys seek bigger guys and vice versa of course there is a label for them also (bear chasers and chubby chasers for the really big guys) but I don't see why being gay is any different than straight - everyone has a preference to body size, shape, age etc. Not all fat straight men have fat girlfriends, not all fat women want hairy husbands etc - everyone wants what they want regardless of gay or straight.

A lot of questions start do gay people like x type of person - the answer will be some will, some wont.
 
Bearlove said:
In looks alone - there again is the full spectrum of (Im not sure what the spectrum is :D so forgive me if I offend) Screaming/flaming - to butch? I know some really big beefy guys (bears) who are really effeminate (not saying that is wrong). I love bears (surprise surprise)!
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Not sure how discussion would be offensive. I'm not gay, but just giving my 2 cents worth as some of my friends are gay and come in all sizes. Some of them are turned off by the girlie guys. I've seen a scan of an old "spectrum" which was quite funny. I think it had about 40~50 types. I'll upload it if I ever find it.
 
It was the wording flaming / screaming - some people can take offense at them. Its usually used to indicate the really camp overly flamboyant guys but often used when joking about.
 
PriestTheyCalledHim said:
You are correct. The majority of bisexual and gay men who are "bears" are pretty much only either only attracted to, or primarily attracted to other "bears".
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Some of the crap that has been put on here by you recently is so unbelievably false that you just sound like someone who thinks they know but really haven't a clue about the guy scene/culture. I wouldn't be giving more advice if I were you coz it's all wrong!
 
the_ketaman said:
Some of the crap that has been put on here by you recently is so unbelievably false that you just sound like someone who thinks they know but really haven't a clue about the guy scene/culture. I wouldn't be giving more advice if I were you coz it's all wrong!
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What I post is not false. But keep arguing with a random stranger who you know absolutely nothing about as a person or what they have experienced. 8( 8) But I've been out as bisexual and a part of "the scene" or what's left of it now FWIW, for decades more than you have.

Did you get bad dope, or meth, or something?

Teabag Johnny said:
Seem like more bears would be into chickens.
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Some are; but they're creepy and predatory.
 
People after chickens are called 'Chicken Hawks' :D - I think to label all these as creepy and/or predatory is incorrect and pretty insulting. Would you say that all men who like young women are creepy and predatory?

A lot of young guys really enjoy the older guys - nothing creepy about it as long as both parties are willing.
 
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