burnergod
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2017
- Messages
- 65
The story is: I abused every kind of drug/med I could get my hands on, and nothing ever happened to my body I just had some good trips/time but it ended there basically.
Then there was a time where I was really, really depressed and not because of the down of the drugs, just some events that happened including breaking with my gf that leaded to depression. So for the first time, without doing myself the doctor like I always did, I tried to follow a schedule, made by my psychologist. It was Mirtazapine 30mg before sleep and Clonazepam on needing (this one is just because I was already addicted to it so she included it).
I went like this for 5 months straight I believe, and well, I was always hungry (didn't help for depression btw). I ate like mad without thinking, and without noticing that I was gaining weight (I'm not the guy who checks his weight everyday in the bathroom).
Now its passed almost a year, and I still have 30kgs extra on my body, I can't recognize myself, I'm really ashamed of what I've become, and I'm also kinda deformed by the fat. I can't fit anymore in any of my clothes (and I was wearing large size shirts, saggy pants..) and I look like I'm having a baby.
In all this time, I kinda abandoned all party drugs but used occasionally amphetamines, you should say "well that could have helped you in losing weight" but guess what: they lost the effect on me. I even tried to stay awake "meth-like" doing lines of amphetamines one after another but the result was the opposite: fatigue, hunger, need to sleep. I tried starving, or eat the less possible, I apparently lost 3kgs after few days, then I swear to God I'm not kidding you I ate one hamburger and another thing and back to +3kgs.
I always been a skinny guy so I don't understand what's happening, if it is related to aging or what, but I'm ashamed of myself and I can't even exit from home, and both family and friends are making fun of me becoming fat (not in a bully way but still..it hurts.)
TLDR: I gained weight and not even with hard use of amphetamines I can loose all the fat and become what I was used to be. Any help?
At the moment I'm using Wellbutrin 300mg/die which IIRC is similar to amphetamine so it should help loosing weight but it's 2 monts I'm on it and I don't see any results.
EDIT: I also started doing gym since 1 month.
Then there was a time where I was really, really depressed and not because of the down of the drugs, just some events that happened including breaking with my gf that leaded to depression. So for the first time, without doing myself the doctor like I always did, I tried to follow a schedule, made by my psychologist. It was Mirtazapine 30mg before sleep and Clonazepam on needing (this one is just because I was already addicted to it so she included it).
I went like this for 5 months straight I believe, and well, I was always hungry (didn't help for depression btw). I ate like mad without thinking, and without noticing that I was gaining weight (I'm not the guy who checks his weight everyday in the bathroom).
Now its passed almost a year, and I still have 30kgs extra on my body, I can't recognize myself, I'm really ashamed of what I've become, and I'm also kinda deformed by the fat. I can't fit anymore in any of my clothes (and I was wearing large size shirts, saggy pants..) and I look like I'm having a baby.
In all this time, I kinda abandoned all party drugs but used occasionally amphetamines, you should say "well that could have helped you in losing weight" but guess what: they lost the effect on me. I even tried to stay awake "meth-like" doing lines of amphetamines one after another but the result was the opposite: fatigue, hunger, need to sleep. I tried starving, or eat the less possible, I apparently lost 3kgs after few days, then I swear to God I'm not kidding you I ate one hamburger and another thing and back to +3kgs.
I always been a skinny guy so I don't understand what's happening, if it is related to aging or what, but I'm ashamed of myself and I can't even exit from home, and both family and friends are making fun of me becoming fat (not in a bully way but still..it hurts.)
TLDR: I gained weight and not even with hard use of amphetamines I can loose all the fat and become what I was used to be. Any help?
At the moment I'm using Wellbutrin 300mg/die which IIRC is similar to amphetamine so it should help loosing weight but it's 2 monts I'm on it and I don't see any results.
EDIT: I also started doing gym since 1 month.
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