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Forgiveness

Captain.Heroin

Captain.Heroin

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Nov 3, 2008
Messages
94,868
We don't forgive people because they deserve it. We forgive them because they need it; because we need it. We all need it.

NSFW:
There isn’t going to be any turning point. … There isn’t going to be any next-month-it’ll-be-better, next fucking year, next fucking life. You don’t have any time to wait for. You just got to look around you and say, “So this is it. This is really all there is to it. This little thing.” Everybody needing such little things and they can’t get them. Everybody needing just a little … confidence from somebody else and they can’t get it. Everybody, everybody fighting to protect their little feelings. Everybody, you know, like reaching out tentatively but drawing back. It’s so shallow and seems so … fucking … it seems like such a shame. It’s so close to being like really right and good and open and amorphous and giving and everything. But it’s not. And it ain’t gonna be.
 
Practice on forgiveness for my family in the time they were not there for me. That's what my therapist tells me to work on. I'm in a really nice sober living currently, just got here today out of rehab. Been a rough 9 years of addiction for me, time to move on and work on changing my life.
 
Easier said than done, it's difficult to forgive some things.

I should probably take siccness' post to heart and work on this.
 
We all need to forgive others because in our darkest hours we hope and pray that we forgiveness will be shown to us.
 
Forgiveness is often thrown into the category of things we should or need to do. That is not how forgiveness works. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself, like lovingkindness or self-compassion, a gift you give others. Doesn't mean it is light and fluffy and shit, forgiveness is very real and can be old, gray and sharp, rough around the edges.

It is all about the practice though. Forgiveness isn't something you just do. First a lot of seeds have to be planted and an entire garden needs to be tended to before anything can be harvested, let alone enjoyed. Forgiveness only happens after we have worked hard at it!
 
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Good point. Like the story of the two wolves, it's all about what you feed.
 
Nope! Depending on what you've done, I will never forgive you. I will hate you until my very last breath. Save me the psychobabble mumbo jumbo about how hatred paralyzes or makes you weak. Hatred makes you strong! The world is full of peole that deserve to be hated. As a matter of fact, it's just about damn near all of them. Human beings are a vile, wretched, disgusting, worthless species! I pretty much hate them all!
 
No one said:
Nope! Depending on what you've done, I will never forgive you. I will hate you until my very last breath. Save me the psychobabble mumbo jumbo about how hatred paralyzes or makes you weak. Hatred makes you strong! The world is full of peole that deserve to be hated. As a matter of fact, it's just about damn near all of them. Human beings are a vile, wretched, disgusting, worthless species! I pretty much hate them all!
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Thank you for sharing <3
 
More power to you, if that's the way you feel. I can respect your view, however, I can not, and will not agree with you. I can honestly say that, if I were to find out that tomorrow was my last day on earth, there would be a few people that I would make certain came with me.
 
I wouldn't really know how to answer that. There's a lot of people in mind that I was thinking of when I posted that. Primarily most of my ex-partners.
 
No one said:
Nope! Depending on what you've done, I will never forgive you. I will hate you until my very last breath. Save me the psychobabble mumbo jumbo about how hatred paralyzes or makes you weak. Hatred makes you strong! The world is full of peole that deserve to be hated. As a matter of fact, it's just about damn near all of them. Human beings are a vile, wretched, disgusting, worthless species! I pretty much hate them all!
Click to expand...

I agree with much of what you said. I try hard to forgive anyone who honestly wishes to be forgiven and change and make amends for their mistake. The problem is so many people refuse to acknowledge their mistake or change or ask to be forgiven. And so I continue to hate then.

And as I said, while I try to be a very forgiving person, and I've forgiven people for some horrible things they've done to me, I will never forgive the man who raped me when I was little. I've had other survivors of childhood abuse tell me how they forgave their abuser and how freeing it is and how I should try to do it too. But I can't, I never will, I will hate him till the day I die. I'm not sure I really believe the people who say they've forgiven their abusers either, I never did and especially don't now since one of them decided to change their mind and press charges against their abuser after supposedly forgiving them.

Then there's the mistakes I've made in my addiction and horrible things I've done. I want to make amends, and while I would like to hear them say they forgive me, I don't believe I deserve forgiveness and don't think I could accept their forgiveness of me.
 
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