For those who have experienced psychosis, what delusions did you have?

[Yourbaker]

Some delusions are just our mind trying to interpret input in a meaningful way while inhibited with drugs. These don't last long and can often be a lot of fun.

 

[Dr.Mambo]

3 days from method: hearing voices and seeing shadows
4 days from prescription speed: voices, shadows, reptiles all over my living room

 

[yepyepwoah]

I got way out there on MXE once and believed that I was going to bring about major change in the world. I was going to give a speech on the lawn of the White House and planned to walk there (it's more than 500 miles away from my location). I thought people would join in and follow me and by the time I got there I'd have a huge crowd. I didn't even have a speech, I planned on speaking from the heart and winging it. I couldn't tell you what all I expected to say now but at the time it felt like the most important thing in the world and I knew everyone needed to hear about it.

Perhaps everyone did. Que dissapearance of mxe worldwide.

 

[yepyepwoah]

Ive got a lot I could add. Some true delusions. Some more seemingly Gifted pieces of a puzzle thats completion draws my life force and attention.

 

[oar9fi]

Only time i'm certain I experienced a psycoitic tye episode was not from psychedelics but the first and only time i ever got methamphetamine. I certainly was not aware that the halucinations of large triloobyte looking things moving around under the carpeting in my room. Even with sleep it still happened lasted about 3 days. But the one place i actually pinned one of these critters of coure there was a small spot on the carpe that had me believing there was something really there. Being that was the onlyb symptom I had, and only that simple hallucination of an infestation had me believing it was true. Sure enough when i finished the stuff the bugs dissapeared. A few years later I read Phillip K. Dick's novel A Scanner Darkly and i guess ths not too far off from what I experienced. At least the part about Jerry's aphid war.

 

[AnanasBannana]

Before I joined BL (and knew anything), I "OD'd" on MDMA/Stims and ended up at the hospital. As they put tubes in me to rehydrate me, I thought I was in a computer simulation and they were trying to scare me so I didn't do drugs again.

I thought they were pumping bad chemicals in me to make me feel worse. I thought the EKG was causing rapid heartrate.

THEN, everyone in the hospitals were reading my work emails to each other. Verbatim.

I thought it was done sort of glitch in the computer that they were trying to learn about me and my girlfriend gave them my emails. Insane!

 

[tired of crap]

My great delusion, on acid....(dunno of its psychosis but I have copied it from the maps forum on harm reduction)

Prologue
I met this guy at a music festival selling his wares. He lived close enough so a few months later a friend and I grabbed some acid.
Skip forward a month and I finally have the opportunity to try it ..
3 hits and its a Bummer. So I let him know. Turns out it was Thanksgiving, I had no other obligations and decided to try it... but it turns out I had forgot the day, oops ... and I used the wrong number... Double oops... He wasnt too Happy.

*cut scene*
Halloween night, a friend has invited me to a warehouse party.
Before heading down Im smoking with my other friend who grabbed and I told him how disappointed i was that mine was bunk. Try some of mine he says.. You wont be disappointed he says.. Im not sure why I doubted him, as we're usually on par. But given my 3 was lack luster I thought 4 and some K would be a nice colourful yet mellow buzz..
So we smoke a few bowls and chill before the party. This friends decides hes going to be a bummer and stays home.

*cut scene*
Warehouse party. I get in, eat my shit and settle into the more funky room (the other is dubstep - ick).
Oh man, buddy was right, this shit is better. I had to ditch my ghost costume (a sheet with eye holes in it.. classic i know right.. and glow sticks on my wrists and arms and glasses- i was a colourful ghost) because i wasnt able to see proper and it was tripping me out.
And then I see buddy who sold me the shit a few months back. Instant paranoia (why? Im not sure but I thought he would be mad - in all likelihood he forgot)

So Im tripping good. Now kinda paranoid. Ok time for a smoke and change of scenery to calm the nerves and right this trip before it derails.
Wrong... I cant find the smoking area. Ok just find an exit. Well damned if Im not met by a bouncer "This isnt an exit".. "Ah dude, aint that an exit sign".. "Ya but you cant get out here, go back to where you came in".......

So back through the dubstep room, passed the pissers (where I came in but it was really crowded and I wanted nothing to do with a crowd.. I just wanted a smoke and didnt realize i had come in there) and back into the other room where some groovy music was playing .. Ok just mellow, its all good. This will pass.

But its all I can think of. Try the other direction. Another exit sign, thank F***. But again im met by another bouncer giving me the same story. WTF. Now im really tripping. And I start spinning delusions. Well Im not allowed to leave at any exit, Im trapped. Why????

Then comes midnight and a net falls from the ceiling and I look up to see a bunch of hanging fish from the ceiling (they were actually there for deco) .. Its a sign (my last name is a type of fish). This whole thing is a set up. Thats why I cant leave. Buddy who sold me the shit is pissed because when I used the wrong number he got pinched. And now hes going to kill me. He and his friends who he sold to have set this whole thing up because theyre pissed too.

And this is where I completely lose the plot.

I try and leave again, explaining to the bouncer that I just want to go home. But hes not having it. So I go back out and accept that Im going to die here in some dingy warehouse all because I wanted some cheap thrills.. So I borrowed someones phone and called my old lady, told her I loved her and to say good bye to our daugther. (thankfully the music was so loud she didnt hear a word of it). And then I try and make peace with the fact that death is imminent. But I cant accept it- My trip goes from bad to worse and I start freaking out. Everything gets all dark (it was dark but I mean my visuals changed from colourful to dark and things started to close in on me almost like a panic attack) and my own thoughts turn against me. I can almost hear them, criticizing me for all the negative choices I had made recently, including coming here.

Forget that.
Im not just going to roll over and die. So I wait for the bouncer to leave his post at the exit sign. And then make a break for it. However he catches me and were wrestling. I eventually grab the handle, turn and pull. Im free... Nope im not in this tiny space with two doors- one to an office (which would explain why he was guarding the door, the other??). So we struggle some more (why he didnt just knock me out or over power me is beyond me - dude had like 6 inches on me and atleast 40 lbs - or maybe not I was fly as a kite, but he was definitely much larger than I) and I grab hold of the other knob. Turn it. Open the door and flee in terror.

Once outside I take off at a run and dont look back. I see a cab and come running up to his window out of breath and trying to explain (but thinking im insane ) he speeds away. But thankfully there is a busy street a few hundred meters up ahead. I keep up the pace and am finally there.

A bus.. There is a god! I jump on, without a shirt (I had taken it off when I realized I was going to die.. I figured getting stabbed would be less painful if I didnt have a shrit on - what! haha), trying to explain I had no money (or anything for that matter, I had ditched everything in my pockets - money, smokes k, that i didnt even get to / need - because I didnt want to give "them" the satisfaction of looting my dead body) but someone was chasing me and I needed to get away. "Yaya, just sit down" she says.

As Im riding the bus, cold, pupils like dimes. I start to mellow out and realize I was only high. Finally get back to buddies and we were able to laugh about it.

However this was such a traumatic experience the next few times I did acid and things got confusing my vision/visuals would start to go black and I could hear my thoughts again. However I was able to take a few breaths and calm down and things would return to normal.

Since the experience I have only done acid twice in public since - that was 3 years ago and they were both weird trips- and have no plans of doing it anytime soon. Its just too confusing for me in public at the doses I enjoy - hell even at home, but at least here I am in a setting where I can easily escape to another room and a change of scenery usually helps. Or at the very least I know Im safe and just tripping and can lay down and wait for the moment to pass.

tl;dr
setting played a huge roll in my delusions. as did an unexpected dose.
know your dose and be safe

TOC

 

[marthamydear]

I was a part of a game show that tested how well you knew your significant other. In the game, a driver drove me around while I had to answer specific questions and complete sentences about my gf that only they would know. I also got to watch other 'contestants' perform the same task and when they failed, they got dropped on the side of the road or got their ass beat, or both. When I kinda 'came to', I was getting my ass beat and started screaming "but I answered all of them right, I didnt even miss one!!" And then started sounding off the questions I was asked. It took almost a week for me to believe that I wasn't a participant in a game show and to stop begging my sisters to believe me that it really happened. I still feel like it was far more real than a lot of other things that have happened to me. Lol

 

[Ziiirp]

Psychosis in the majority of cases is just a significant increase of the perception of the apparent dangers of the environment. Sometimes the increase gets to much and becomes contra productive.