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For those who have experienced psychosis, what delusions did you have?

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washingtonbound

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Aug 19, 2013
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This thread is directed at people who have had psychosis induced by psychedelics or know someone it has happened to. I am curious to hear common themes in people's experiences.

I have personally experienced psychosis induced by marijuana and LSD and the main theme that occurred was extreme paranoia about the government. I felt that I was paranoid schizophrenic but my official diagnosis is bipolar type one for whatever reason. Anyway, when I went psychotic one time I believed that all white men were out to get me and communicated with eachother in secret code about how they would capture me. It got to the point where I wouldn't leave the house for days at a time.

During that same period I believed I saw patterns in letters and words that I believed had a connection to the divine. Kind of sad really looking at those journals and realizing they were a waste of time.

Basically I've found that while experiencing psychosis I have grandiose thoughts about myself, believing that I have special abilities that I don't, and irrational paranoia and fear about the government. I've found it interesting that many people who experience psychosis have have similar ideas.

Thoughts?
 
I am also interested in hearing these stories. I have never experienced psychosis, but I have experienced delusions during the strong effects of psychedelics that I have fully believed at the time. Mostly this has involved me believing I was dying or my soul/existence was dying. I had the thought once that I needed to kill myself so my existence wouldn't end, and I'd just be reborn as something else. Fortunately I didn't do it because some part of me still held on to the idea that I would recover, that it was just a drug.
 
i thought that i could bring about some kind of universal shift by "djing" music vidoes on the 'what are you listening to thread.
then i thought google and the internet had an intelligent consciousness and was communicating to me. if i searched something in google then the first link that came up was a message of profound importance to me. i thought i could create music so beautiful that it would bring peace to the middle east (syria). kind of like the hippie movement in the 60s.

at this point you can see i have a very high opinion of my capacities and potential.

it snapped into darkness and i had a realisation that two 20 y.o. girls were coming in a private jet from california to assasinate me. i had 4-6 hours before they got to me. i started running from my house, then it came to me that everyone could be used for remote surveillance, basically people who are not present in their body and are weak minded could be used to spy on me. there is an elaborate organisation which is a representation of evil that wants me (revolutionary good) dead.

i felt like i was in the most exciting movie ever.

later in the hospital i felt i could telepathically communicate, numbers were taking on significance, i thought staff at the hospital were staff from bl, other patients were posters. i realised my dad was actually an agent sent from the organisation to spy on me, so i pretended to attack him and then i ended up in psych wards for a couple months. the delusions slowly died down during that time.

a couple that strikes me is that i thought i was michael the archangel in a past life, and a girl i knew at the ward was joan of arc. i also considered the girl to be a witch and thought she could astral travel as the birds in the yard.
 
Mysterie, what preceded all of this? Did any drugs cause it, and what happened?
 
i had taken a tab of acid, perhaps already in a hypomanic state, then it catapulted me into mania which then proceeded into psychosis. i was already in a upward shift acceleration of mood due to a number of factors maybe the most destabilising was not ejaculating in 55 days, also doing a 5-7 day juice fast. what happened in what sense?
 
Mysterie said:
i had taken a tab of acid, perhaps already in a hypomanic state, then it catapulted me into mania which then proceeded into psychosis. i was already in a upward shift acceleration of mood due to a number of factors maybe the most destabilising was not ejaculating in 55 days, also doing a 5-7 day juice fast. what happened in what sense?
Click to expand...

Hmm, I have practised celibacy and can definitely feel the increased energy. That combined with 3-MeO-PCP and the mania is real. Haven't had any delusions though.
 
In a psychotic state, I did the following things (and a load more):

1. Got beat up by police that weren't there (because I was fighting to get away from thin air I ended up faceplanting pavement)

2. Spent hours wandering around picking valium up off the floor that also turned out not to be there.

3. Tried to rescue my friends from a locked room. You guessed it, they weren't there.

4. Sat on a path and had a chat with a nice girl who turned out to be a plastic bag.

5. Had general mad paranoid delusions of the world being out to get me.

6. Thought I got abducted by aliens (turned out to be an intensive care unit)

7. The hospital I was in became a dusty medieval manor house for the day, complete with staff in period costume.

8. Constantly ordered drinks for friends and family from 'the bar' that was apparently next to my hospital bed.

That was a messed up few days.
 
I unfortunately just had another bout with psychosis that was induced by ketamine and I had a strange time as well. I was convinced that I was a single cell organism that had evolved from the core of the earth and that I was splitting myself in half. I believed that I had no gender, no sexuality and no parents and that I was the product of cosmic evolution. I thought that by Monday the world will be saved, and I got hung up on the number 7 and prime numbers in particular. I believed I could map the star formations with mathematics. Truly lost my shit there for a week but thankfully am better now.
 
I got way out there on MXE once and believed that I was going to bring about major change in the world. I was going to give a speech on the lawn of the White House and planned to walk there (it's more than 500 miles away from my location). I thought people would join in and follow me and by the time I got there I'd have a huge crowd. I didn't even have a speech, I planned on speaking from the heart and winging it. I couldn't tell you what all I expected to say now but at the time it felt like the most important thing in the world and I knew everyone needed to hear about it.
 
I was sold something that was not ketamine over the weekend and it caused me to have a break for about 5 hours. As I recall at first i thought i had died and my soul was getting grinded into the place where we all go after we die... that was kind of terrifying looking back on it. I really thought i was being pushed through some area we all go after we die, on real k its usually a nice space where i dont mind this was like crazy.

It was a festival so i spent a good 5 hours insane in the medical tent. There i thought I was drugged and kidnapped by a demonic cult and it really looked and felt that way for a while, until i thought i was under arrest, then i realized i just went crazy on drugs. The major difference about this experience, different then the K hole at least, is that it was very dark and scary. Any place i see on ketamine may be "scary" but it comes with a comfort like "this is how its meant to be" whatever i was given made it extremely dark and terrifying like i couldnt trust anyone around me and that i was going to be killed or have my soul taken from me.

I dont normally have experiences like this and i can see how it could easily cause ptsd in a sense. Afterwards i was like "well shit thank god i am me or id probably have trouble integrating this" like how do you tell the people your with "it was like being drugged and kidnapped by a demonic cult who wanted to drain my soul or at the very least kill me for fun" and literally mean it like that shit is intense LOL. And I consider myself to be a rational person who can determine a lot of things but that shit had my mind so twisted it was a very long time before i accepted their whole "we are just trying to help you" stance... i thought they were trying to lull me into a sense of security to kill me.

I realize its not long term but that was the only time i had a break at all and i have a lot more respect for those who experience that now.
 
Oh dude. I don't know what the fuck happened that night.

I took some A-PVP or some shit. I don't know. I got it for free after buying some MXE. Dude thought it would be cool to include a free sample of this. APVP or APHP or some shit.

I remember taking it and feeling on top of the world. I started hitting up these chicks I liked. Then I hit up my friend and asked him if he was my friend still. I went over his house. I stared at them and asked them if I was still their friends. Then I went home. Txted my sister asking her what the fuck life is and why I'm here. Why the fuck does anyone care? Why was I born? Who the fuck are you? Who am I? Do you even care? DO you? Fucking do you? DO yuou?

Yeah you do.

And then I fell asleep.

And then I woke up. And then I realized I made a mistake.

And then I realized I shouldn't fuck with bath salts.
 
I once believed for about 8 hours straight that there was a "Fireworks Launching Committee" Posted just outside my house consisting of about a dozen ex-cons that were planning to mortar-bomb my house.

It was a real teeth-gritter.
 
Shooting fish scale gets me super paranoid .... Immediately.. From fine to superskitz in like .001 of a second. As soon as my hearing is destorted.. Outta there
 
When I was 15 I thought for my first trip it would be a good idea to eat 3.5g of mushrooms at home on a friday night by myself with my parents around.

Ended up locking myself in my room under the guide of "going to bed early". Pitch black in my bed, pretending to be asleep, absolutely losing my mind.

As soon as I hopped it bed I began to have some of the most horrific visuals, like fucked up clowns, skulls, peoples mouths be torn apart and pulled inside out. Have never come close to visuals like that ever again. It was so incredibly real and right in front of my face. Me panicking harder and harder from seeing them jsut made them more and more intense.

Basically, time looped and looped for what felt like many, many years, convinced I had died and broken time. I was convinced that my entire life and world as I knew it was just a figment of the imagination of some sort of energy in limbo, and now I had been pulled out of that dream and was back in the state of absolute nothingness and everything at once, doomed to that existence for ever, and thats what death was. It's incredibly hard to describe. I hardly even remembered eating the mushrooms, it was as if eating the mushrooms were just a trigger or a motif for what happened, or the mushrooms had killed me or something.

Finally, I came to slightly, was around 3am, stumbled out of my room to the bathroom, tried to pee, and looked up at the mirror. This sequence kept repeating over and over, faster and faster, and I tried to end it by jumping out the window of my 3rd story house, I just ran straight into the glass but just bounced off onto the floor and ran back into my room.

Most fucked up experience of my entire life. In the last 6 years since then I have tripped probably nearly 100 times but never have I ever come close to that delusional and psychotic.
 
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After taking lsd a few times a month for half a year I started acting really manic and paranoid. Then I realized I'd had delusions my whole life. Just general random thoughts that people could read my mind, they were all connected but I was left out, or that I was mentally challenged and people were just being nice to me.
After tripping I had delusions that I was God and all of reality was in my head and the whole purpose of existence was for everyone to help bring me to enlightenment.
There have been others but I've since learned to dismiss these thoughts.
 
I used to think that there was a unified conciousness, so if I felt anxiety it was a certain person thinking about me and in my head Id say "Stop". Psychologically this isnt so far from how life works if you think about it.

But many if I stop to think about it. I cant explain most of them. One was Id have to do a certain chakra when I had a certain hppd or Id "fail".

I have ones I cant really explain where I had like a thousand orgasms driving my car once without ejaculating and just like cruised laid back.

I couldnt tell if I was asleep or awake for a long time. Part of me thinks I went to a festival and someone IM'd me with some insane amount of DMT and im going to wake up six years ago someday.

Another was that there was this like ray of energy that orbited the earth and made you think certain ways as it orbited.

Lol.
 
Cubes-dude said:
After taking lsd a few times a month for half a year I started acting really manic and paranoid. Then I realized I'd had delusions my whole life. Just general random thoughts that people could read my mind, they were all connected but I was left out, or that I was mentally challenged and people were just being nice to me.
After tripping I had delusions that I was God and all of reality was in my head and the whole purpose of existence was for everyone to help bring me to enlightenment.
There have been others but I've since learned to dismiss these thoughts.
Click to expand...

I think one of yours' is called "solopism". Its actually the only way metaphysics, philosophy, and science really agree.
 
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