So, there was nothing negative about the experience. No horrible depression during the comedown, which really happened while I was asleep because I can sleep on uppers just fine, although I'd vaped a ton of oil which probably helped burnt me out. I also hadn't slept well the previous night due to tripping on shrooms. This seems to keep me awake more than MDMA.
This definitely isn't something I would want to do often. Definitely on occasion. It was a bit frustrating watching them all drinking and knowing I'm not a drinker anymore, and being naturally very shy, the first night I didn't say a whole lot given I was stoned and tripping. I'd been offered a little corner, I think this guy being my former teacher was probably being cautious or didn't know what I could handle. By day 2 he kept getting so drunk and I was so out of it that he just kept handing more to me and I would just take it lol. Probably had a bit more than a tablet but they weren't very large. They were blue and shaped like skulls, but not the same as those "blue shaped army skulls."
Overall I had a great time, and I opened up and felt a sense of closeness with the others, talked my head off about all sorts of things, and certainly mentioned to my brother dumb things I'd done in the past. Growing up he was always getting into trouble, and my older but not oldest (whom we're celebrating for) and I perceived it in a very negative light. I didn't realize I'd go on to drink even heavier than he did. But he has used many more drugs that I would never touch like nitrous. He was also prescribed, overprescribed opiates for quite awhile due to a skin condition he has that can cause flareups that hurt chronically bad. I know he'd switched to suboxine awhile back, and I think he doesn't take any of that now.
My brother and former teacher rolled both nights and drank excessively, like 25 beers and endless fireball shots. My former teacher drank the most. He told me some of the most outrageous things I could ever hear. That would be best saved for a best of bluelight thread because holy mother of God. The first night I just tripped on some of the chocolate shroom bar pieces, it wasn't too hard of a trip, but enough to have kind of wobbly, vibrating visuals, and shapes were really jumping out at me.
Just giving an update. It was clean stuff, I had a hangover that didn't feel as bad as alcohol, but definite brain fog as if I ate a lot of edibles last night or something. I guess I still feel a little speedy though it's vastly worn off. I base that on my pulse still being a little up.
One of the highlights of the night was jamming with them. This was an airbnb cabin and there were lots of guitars already there, a keyboard/organ, telecaster, fender, even a tambura. The drumset was odd for me since I've never seen one like it. But I jammed so hard and haven't played guitar in so long that my right fingers got absolutely destroyed. A big chunk of skin was hanging off my middle finger, and there's this big red blister on my pointer, and side of my left pinky from sliding a lot. I'm a finger picker and never really knew how to use a pick.
So afterward everyone was winding down from drinking all day, and I realize shit... I'm kinda peaking a bit lol. I smoked outside on the back porch, it was completely dark and you could see so many stars. I saw quite a few shooting ones. I experienced some of the greatest euphoria of my life. I just looked up at the sky, glued, letting the earth absorb my energy and feeling so connected to it. This combined with the THC made it quite psychedelic actually. I just could not go back inside. I wanted to wind down for bed as much as I didn't want to.
I could have stared at the stars and up at the trees, listening to crickets chirp and frogs croak, until the sun came up. But I probably would have had a seriously bad crash if I did. It might've almost been worth it. I just smiled up at the sky and I guess maybe got a little weird when I was wrapping my hands around this wooden pillar of the porch almost like it was a trip pole, then realized I splintered my hand up quite a bit. Not severely but worth mentioning I guess lol. I did microdose a shroom piece earlier in that day but I doubt it did anything much. They were actually not super strong, but you could tell they were legit because it had the aftertaste of a typical mushroom, just buffered by chocolate. The whole bar would probably be like eating an 8th of good shrooms, I wager I had something equivalent to 1.5g.
Wow, I've typed a lot. I guess there still is some cognitive speediness going on. I don't really feel euphoric, but I don't feel that depression everyone always talks about after taking MDMA. Maybe that's just when it's not clean. Like I said it felt similar to an alcohol hangover but quite a few notches lower. It suppressed my appetite a lot last night though and I didn't really eat dinner, so after hitting my pen on the ride back, for some reason, I just hunched over so tired. This used to happen sometimes hungover from drinking too, THC when you are weakened isn't always wise. Maybe after eating, but not before.
At the end of the day this is directed to anyone who is curious how it went. That one guy kept telling me it was a horrible idea and I'd fry my brains, that it was childish for me to want to take this given I'd BEEN on a TCA (which, really only reduces the effects. I did my research). By the time I rolled, it was 99% out of my system, and I was on a lower dose of it anyway. I quit Prozac weeks ago. Maybe there's a small chance the TCA could've badly interacted but I'd given myself enough time to stop. I don't know that I'll go back on it. So uh, haha, I guess, to the guy who thought I'd fry my brains out. I appreciated the harm reduction even if we didn't quite agree until you started hassling me in a different thread.
Interestingly, black seed oil actually protects against neurotoxicity from MDMA, and I just happened to take some mid roll because I take it every evening (probably before I was given 1 or 2 extra pieces of the X tablets, at least 1). I'm not sure how much it helped but given I've been completely fine today, minus how weak I was this morning from not eating, it must have helped some.
It was overall just very smooth and focused, euphoric, significant loss of inhibitions SIMILAR to alcohol but with more of a desire to connect with people or nature, which I think is also kind of similar to mushrooms in a way, they can increase my empathy a lot and reduce my ego, so if I'm with friends, I feel we're all connected and there's nothing to be afraid of hiding about being human.
I have no doubts taking this for days would be really bad, though, or even every weekend. I could see myself maybe doing this 2 or 3 times in an entire year. It's great to be able to break out of my shell and I just can't drink anymore. I got mead wine to try and was just like... nope, fuck that. Booze tastes too awful. Those years are far past gone for me, some people never stop partying. And some of them can leave professional lives like my former teacher. We would have never guessed what he was up to after school.
