Training Log First Cycle Log

I get gnarly food cravings on keto that make me more likely to impulsively binge on junk. Sticking with relatively low carb, ~100-150g per day.

Already down to 204 from 210. Part of that is obviously water, but i already look significantly leaner. going to ride out this cut for 9 more days and then re-evaluate.

Also decided that i'm not going over 20mcg clen. Even 40mcg split into two doses starts giving me muscle pain.
 
This cycle has really blown me up. Attempted to cut, but didn't make that much progress with it, lol. I get so damn hungry and hypo feeling from the gear when i don't eat. Took the clen for like 3 days and the t3 for 6 or so, but stopped both because it seemed silly and better saved for another time.

hitting 405 x 4 on squat (no belt or oly shoes), 315 x 3 on bench (no belt or straps), and 455 x 2 on deadlift (no belt or straps). I honestly don't want to get much bigger than this. I mean I'm sure if i get sub 10% BF again that i will want a little more size, but at the 14-15% I am right now, i look plenty bulky. Would like my powerlifts to continue getting more efficient, as my deadlift is annoyingly low still (have hit 500 before when i was natural, but pulling sumo w/ belt and straps)

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Here I am about 4-5 days ago at 210. Been staying around 210 on purpose, trying to "body recomp" as i don't really want to be much bigger. This was only a little over 6 weeks into cycle. Think i look just as lean if not a little leaner than i was at 190 before cycle. Pretty happy with my proportions too, except shoulders could use a little extra size IMO. I think i would look super good at 200.
 
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Looking good man. And what's wrong with getting bigger?? Lol. Get huge and buy all your summer clothes now they're on discount.
 
Thanks, man. And i know i would personally enjoy getting bigger and bigger, but i think Kai Greene looks good in a sort of perverse way, lol. I think it crosses further and further into the realm of neurotic/body dysmorphia past a certain point. I totally get it, but i don't want to get so big that i'm turning a lot of girls off considering i first got obsessed with working out to look more attractive to women.

I will try to maybe jump up to closer to 220 before i run a cut the last 3 or so weeks of this cycle, as i foresee having trouble maintaining a lot of it once i try to come off. Kind of worried about how rough coming off will be.

I'm back in Florida right now, and i did a shot of 800test/800eq before i left. Surprised that it didn't make me crazy horny or anything. Will probably get my blood work done again sometime this week or next to see where my estro is at, and if it is still unusually low. Only things i brought with me are anastrazole and nolva, just as a precaution if it suddenly seemed like my estro was too high, which i don't foresee.
 
Haha funny, that's why I started lifting a lot similar to most guys and now I'm in the size realm that a lot of mainstream females don't find attractive. I'm generally content (finally) with where my physique is at though so good to stay relatively where I am
 
ElkHorn said:
Thanks, man. And i know i would personally enjoy getting bigger and bigger, but i think Kai Greene looks good in a sort of perverse way, lol. I think it crosses further and further into the realm of neurotic/body dysmorphia past a certain point. I totally get it, but i don't want to get so big that i'm turning a lot of girls off considering i first got obsessed with working out to look more attractive to women.

I will try to maybe jump up to closer to 220 before i run a cut the last 3 or so weeks of this cycle, as i foresee having trouble maintaining a lot of it once i try to come off. Kind of worried about how rough coming off will be.

I'm back in Florida right now, and i did a shot of 800test/800eq before i left. Surprised that it didn't make me crazy horny or anything. Will probably get my blood work done again sometime this week or next to see where my estro is at, and if it is still unusually low. Only things i brought with me are anastrazole and nolva, just as a precaution if it suddenly seemed like my estro was too high, which i don't foresee.
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You're looking good, well done.

I think it's too easy/lazy to blame 'body dysmorphia' for the size thing. A lot of men want to look huge in a way that many women (and men) don't find attractive or understand. And there can be lots of complex reasons for that, including just really enjoying the challenge, routine and discipline of bodybuilding.

But I also think that completely misses the point - who are you doing it for? Unless/until you get told you're "too big" for a job or something, and while you're enjoying yourself, don't overthink this stuff. Everyone's fucked up in some way or other - as long as you're not hurting others or your health, carry on.
 
CFC said:
You're looking good, well done.

I think it's too easy/lazy to blame 'body dysmorphia' for the size thing. A lot of men want to look huge in a way that many women (and men) don't find attractive or understand. And there can be lots of complex reasons for that, including just really enjoying the challenge, routine and discipline of bodybuilding.

But I also think that completely misses the point - who are you doing it for? Unless/until you get told you're "too big" for a job or something, and while you're enjoying yourself, don't overthink this stuff. Everyone's fucked up in some way or other - as long as you're not hurting others or your health, carry on.
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This. If you're worried about not being attractive to women, id say you still got about 40lbs of wiggle room or so. I got about 35-40lbs on guys my size. Women still definitely find me attractive. Once you cut down, you'll realize you still got plenty of room left over. But if you're truly happy with your size, then I envy you lol.
 
Thank you for the responses, and fair points from you both.

And perhaps i shouldn't make blanket statements relating to body dysmorphia, but i certainly exhibit traits of it. I'm never fully content with how lean and muscular i am, nor do i think i ever will be. Perhaps this is largely just human nature to want more rather than a specific neurosis.

And I'm doing it for myself, but the primary motivation was a desire to be more sexy. Now i've come to love the process of it though. My personal aesthetic doesn't want to be that much bigger though, but i could see myself continuing to say that as i get indefinitely bigger, lol.


@serotonin, 40lbs of wiggle room? That would put me at over 250! 250 is definitely larger than i would personally desire at 6'0, but your point of likely wanting more after cutting down definitely has merit.

And i'll never be truly happy with my size, but that's just the nature of this thing, lol. I'm happy until i see someone bigger than me and then i crave more!
 
Yeah...body dysmorphia is something I came to accept the minute I started using gear along with everyone I know lol. Part of the game
 
Ya, I started working out years ago to get girls. Now 90% of the people who hit on me are gay dudes and most girls I get close to tell me that the kind of body I want is gross. It is about falling in love with the process, the art of it, the endless grind, and so on. The body is an outward expression of the discipline, self-awareness and self-control we have better honed over the years. If it isn't going to be drooled over, at least let it be respected. And body dysmorphia and weight room masochism keep me clean and sober, off the streets and out of jail. A virtuous obsession to replace a lifetime of vice.
 
I love the process of it as well, but would rather try to accept where i'm at by a certain point, lol.

I feel you on mostly getting hit on by gay men as well. Often times wish i were at least bi.

And lifting also has helped me to stay clean and out of jail. It's a nice way to channel our addictive compulsive personalities.

Hit a 405x5 squat with no gear except thin knee sleeves (no oly shoes either) and was hitting real good depth on all the reps. Significant PR for me.
 
Ok, so it's been a little over 8 days since my last shot (where i shot 800test/800eq and 200test/200eq day before) and i'm starting to notice some drop off in the gym now. Ended up moving my flight back a bit, so it will be another 4 days before i can do another shot of test.

Would there be any benefit in taking nolvadex in the meantime?

Side not: been getting a ton of compliments on my physique which has felt great. Was at a concert and some cougars were obsessing over my arms, lol.
 
Just got back from Florida. Surprisingly, it seems i gained weight and got leaner while there even though it's been close to two weeks since my last shot. Weighing in at 217, and looking leaner than before i left. I also still feel good even though it's been two weeks since my last shot. Crazy that it's been only 9 weeks and i look leaner at 217 than i did at 190 when i started.

I've got three weeks left on cycle. Unfortunately am going to have to travel again, so i think i'm going to hit one more week with normal protocol, and then do another fat shot before i leave again, starting PCT when i return.

Beyond happy with the results of this cycle so far. I guess the goal is to get up over 220 around as lean as i am currently and continue crushing PR's, and then i will see how much of this i can maintain post cycle, and how painful the post cycle process proves to be.
 
Hit a 475 Squat today without belt or lifting shoes. Pretty stoked on that push. Weighing in at 215.

I'm 9 weeks in right now and am considering cutting the cycle short a couple weeks. Going to be traveling again for almost two weeks, so will do a double dose before i leave. Will only have a week left on the cycle by the time i come back, but considering just switching to PCT by that time. I haven't been as on point with diet as i would have liked with all the traveling, but i'm still hitting big PR's. Last time i benched i hit a 335, and feel hopeful i can hit a 345 bench in the next few days.

AI has proven unnecessary, even though i'm on a decent sized dose (averaging 6-700 test e and 6-700 EQ/week).

Already thinking about the next cycle, lol. Thinking i'm going to run sustanon and tren a.
 
Well done mate, sounds like you're very pleased with the results. Crashing through old PRs can be pretty exhilarating :)
 
Thanks, man.

Was feeling slightly sore today, but ended up hitting a 500lb deadlift pretty easy without wrist straps or lifting belt. Hoping to hit a bench close to 350 tomorrow.

My bench and squat are far better than ever, and my deadlift is a bit better than ever (hit 500 6 months ago before gear, pulling sumo with straps and belt).

Really hoping my lifts don't take a big hit coming off.
 
Well guys, the cycle is coming to an end. Weighing 215 right now, but the last pic i posted is a good enough representation of where i'm at. I'm 210 in this picture, but i don't think i gained much more muscle mass from that point.
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I think i look a bit leaner at 215 than i did at 190 when i started. I also definitely got excessive with my doses at some points, getting up to as much as 700teste/700EQ per week, along with 3-5iu HGH every day. Haven't had any gyno issues or symptoms of it, so i have yet to use any AI.

Only doing 400test/400EQ this week, and then 200test/200EQ the following. Might do one more taper week where i drop down to 100test/100EQ and then i will take nothing for two weeks before starting Clomid. If you all have any advice contrary to this, i'm eager to hear it. I know the sticky recommends a different method, but i ended up dosing higher than i anticipated.

went from roughly 405 squat/290 bench/425 DL to 475+ squat/350 bench/515 DL (without belts or straps).

Definitely going to be running another cycle in the next 2-3 months. Will continue HGH, primarily to continue making my hair thicker. Keeping BF a little lower and potentially helping some with mass retention would be a plus, but i'm not expecting it.

The results have been amazing, especially considering i did a stupid half assed cut for over two weeks right in the middle of the cycle. I've also met a girl i'm in love with who loves me back, slept with a good number of new girls, and feel better about myself than ever before. Feels great to love myself after struggling with intense self-hatred for so long. I feel like AAS helped me get over a lot of anxiety blocks that were holding me back. Now we'll see how well this carries over when off of them.

Thank you for everything! Thinking i'm going to use sustanon and tren for the next cycle.
 
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If you're gonna cycle again in 2-3 months you won't have recovered hpta function at all especially due to eq with its ridiculous ester lol. At that point you might as well blast and cruise. Save the hormonal roller coaster that is clomid and just pin 100/100 test eq every week til your next "cycle" if I were you. True recovery would require you to be off for like 6 months
 
I see.

Thanks for the input. Interested to hear other opinions on this, but if that seems to be the general consensus, i very well may do that.

Thanks!
 
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