self reject is where you do not accept yourself. We as addicts have a hard time accepting us for who we are. Healthy self worth come from knowing our values are based on who we are and not what own, what job we have, how much money we have, how much bling we have, how many friends we have, what we look like, none of that makes up who we are. who we are is based of who we are on the inside. Your a great person and thats who you are.
who we are is based in a large degree of morals and values. These need to be OUR morals and OUR values. Not societies, not our parents, not what the advertising tells is is the "corect" way to act and the "correct" things to value. So we need to identify and accept out values and morals. by values i just mean what is important to us, or what do we value.. and by morals I just mean what is the way we need to act and behave for US.
The way we identify these is to listen to you heart.. it know whats important and it knows how we need to act.
But we not only have to identify these we need to accept them as correct. This is where we run into the self rejection to some degree.
If we have rejected whats important to us and the way we know we need to behave then we will have put the value of others in front of what we know is right for us.
This is the reason that criticism hurts so much until we are able to accept ourselves. Because we place the opinions of others before our own and we base our worth off what they say and think. So since we base the value of our lives, our self worth, and the value of what we are doing with our lives of the approval of others instead of the approval of ourselves. This means that the criticisms and comments of others take on a much stronger power with us than the mere opinions of others, they are how we determine the worth of ourselves and the value of our lives. so if we are criticised this tells us that WE are bad. If we are not praised by others then we dont think we are good enough. we always need the acceptance and praise of other, all the time, cause this is how we judge weather we are good and weather what we are doing and how we are behaving is good. So if we dont get praise for something we thought we should then we feel its crap. If something we do gets criticized the its worse than crap its terrible and since we base who e are and our own self worth on the acceptance and opinions of others then we becomes crap and worthless. T
This is why its so uncomfortable to be around people because since you are basing how good you are and how god everything about you is on their opinions, praise and approval then it feel that we are constantly being judged by everybody about every thing.
Since we decide the value of everything by what others think instead of what we think everything seems to be being judged at all times, our clothes, what we say, how we move, what we are doing with our lives, where we live, how much we make, what we like, the value and everything is based off what others think. Its miserable I know i have been there. I remember so many times when I was so excited or loved something and then one person would make a criticism or just a snide comment and then instead of being excited about it or loving it it was now just crap to me.. I could go from on top of the world to strate into depression just by hearing a negative opinion from someone else. If I didn't get praise all the time I was a good person. I needed almost constant assurance that I was good and what i was doing was good and what was saying was good and what i was wearing was good.. sucks bad to base everything off what other people think.
So what you are going to need to do is to identify whats important to you and how its important for you to act. The you need to realize that this is absolutely the correct things for you. The correct way for you to act is how you know you need to act, once you have done this and began acting that way , you will no longer care what other people think of the way you act because you will no longer need their approval because you will be basing how you behave on what you think. You will no longer feel like you forgot how to move when you enter a room full of people who are looking at you. you will ware what you think are great clothes and wont care what the fuck they think. You will say what you think and wont care what people think as its worth and weather its write or wrong will be based of YOU and not what other people think.. same with what you value in life.. its value will be based of off what you think is important and not what others think. Soi what other people think and say will no longer have any power over you.
we also base our worth of of how we think other people think we look off our appearances.. this isn't the value off us it who we are not what we look like and what we ware and how much crap we have or how much crap we plan on getting. Most of the world slaves after useless shit and bases their worth off even more useless shit. The value of you is who you are not where you live, what you drive, what kind of house you have.. it based on who you know you are on the inside.
some of the most unhappy people I have ever come across were pretty, and rich, and had statius, and all the material garbage you could ever want.. but they were absolutely miserable and it made the even more miserable when they looked around a already had everything they ever were told and everything they thought would make them great people, happy people, successful people.. they had it all and were more miserable than ever.
They based their value on how they looked so they always dressed the nines and had to constantly be buying the new fashions, slaves to fashion. see because if they weren't in the best shit then they weren't good enough. they based how good they were by comparing themselves to others.. then they had to keep up with the jones, had to be the first one the get this had to have the best of everything, had to be perfect and better than everyone else cause they based their value on what they had and if they has more than other people and not on who they are.
or the unhappy women women who determine their value on their beauty.. all the make up, hair has to be perfect, all the clothes again, and all the worthless jewelry, the tanning that fries their skin, the surgery when age starts to take their vasue away, the botox, the diets, the anorexia, and body image pain.. all because they incorrectly choose to determine their value on how they looked.
The guy who spends his whole life working a career he didn't like to do.. working night and day and climbing the corporate ladder not there for his family, not doing what he would enjoy, making the money more and more money , bigger and better titles, bigger and bigger offices.. cause they determine their value on prestige on what they do, what they made, and what they accomplished and not who they are.
The same corporate ladder climber is the one who looks around after thirty years of working and slaving to get all the the stuff they told him was important, realizes it all isn't worth any where near what he had traded to get it, realizes that what you have and what you made and what you accomplished doesn't determine your value.. who you are determines your value and he had traded a big portion of his life to acquire a bunch of pretty and expensive things that weren't worth that much at all..
Listen to and belive in YOUR heart as its the only thing that knows how you need to behave, what is important for you to do, and were you need to go and how you need to get there.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
