Hi all,
First off, I'm not an avid drug user at all. I've occasionally eaten marijuana, did shrooms once, long ago, and that's it. I grew up with an extremely drug-addicted sister who is now dying due to meth use so I think that was enough to steer me away from experimenting much. I read a bit about DMT in a book called DMT The Spirit Molecule. A friend had some pure DMT and I decided it was something I would like to try. I very much believe there is more beyond this limited world we live in and wanted to delve in and see what I could find. I was completely open to the experience, not nervous at all.
I have hardly smoked anything in my life, so smoking it was really, REALLY hard. It hurt so much. I think I also felt conflicted as we were using a meth pipe and it brought up thoughts of my sister even though I know DMT is a whole different thing.
I didn't get enough to blast off. Rather, my body fell away and I fell back on the bed and closed my eyes. I lost my body for a few seconds and briefly saw a bunch of eyes, much like Alex Grey's artwork- or Tool album art. The eyes then parted, like a gate opening, and a beautiful, goddess like woman stepped out. She was smiling and her arms were open. She said welcome, I'm glad you are here. I started to go towards her, I wanted so badly to be in her arms and taken with her..almost like a little kid needing their mother.
Then..everything faded away..and I came to. I felt good, but disappointed. I kept thinking about what I saw and how much I wish I could have stayed and seen more.
I would have tried again after the hour waiting period, but my friend had a negative experience and out of respect I didn't try again but instead helped them through the ensuing panic attack/anxiety they were experiencing.
I left for home (was visiting out of state) and so am not able to go back to try the DMT and have no other connections to get any.
Fast forward. I have been DEEPLY, DEEPLY depressed since doing the DMT. I've always struggled with depression to some degree, but never like this. I didn't know it could be this bad. I'm against pharmaceuticals but in the past have tried 5-htp, St. John's Wort, Passionflower and few other remedies that have somewhat helped. They aren't helping at all this time.
Of course, there are factors to consider other than the DMT, but really after doing DMT is when this all began and I can't help but to trust my intuition that the two are connected.
Maybe my brief glimpse left me wanting more...or maybe it showed me there is something else. I've always felt that I don't really belong on this planet. I am super sensitive, empathetic, compassionate, and all the greed and destruction hurts me so much. I can't stand the rat race, or living ruled by money and work. At the same time, I'm very spiritual and meditative, and understand that I am just passing through and that there is a lot of good and happiness in this world.
After the DMT though, I can hardly function. Nothing ignites inspiration in me. In all honesty, if there were an off button for life I would eagerly push it (assuming I could just disappear as though I never existed, I wouldn't want to hurt anyone or leave my kitties homeless!)
Has anyone else experienced extreme depression after DMT...the kind where you can't even think, open you mouth to speak, move, eat or do ANYTHING. I can barely function and have spent days in bed unable to get up which I have never done before...luckily I have these two weeks off work or I have no idea what I would do. Any help or suggestions would be appreciated..I'm worried I've kind of thrown off my already imbalanced brain chemistry with the DMT.
First off, I'm not an avid drug user at all. I've occasionally eaten marijuana, did shrooms once, long ago, and that's it. I grew up with an extremely drug-addicted sister who is now dying due to meth use so I think that was enough to steer me away from experimenting much. I read a bit about DMT in a book called DMT The Spirit Molecule. A friend had some pure DMT and I decided it was something I would like to try. I very much believe there is more beyond this limited world we live in and wanted to delve in and see what I could find. I was completely open to the experience, not nervous at all.
I have hardly smoked anything in my life, so smoking it was really, REALLY hard. It hurt so much. I think I also felt conflicted as we were using a meth pipe and it brought up thoughts of my sister even though I know DMT is a whole different thing.
I didn't get enough to blast off. Rather, my body fell away and I fell back on the bed and closed my eyes. I lost my body for a few seconds and briefly saw a bunch of eyes, much like Alex Grey's artwork- or Tool album art. The eyes then parted, like a gate opening, and a beautiful, goddess like woman stepped out. She was smiling and her arms were open. She said welcome, I'm glad you are here. I started to go towards her, I wanted so badly to be in her arms and taken with her..almost like a little kid needing their mother.
Then..everything faded away..and I came to. I felt good, but disappointed. I kept thinking about what I saw and how much I wish I could have stayed and seen more.
I would have tried again after the hour waiting period, but my friend had a negative experience and out of respect I didn't try again but instead helped them through the ensuing panic attack/anxiety they were experiencing.
I left for home (was visiting out of state) and so am not able to go back to try the DMT and have no other connections to get any.
Fast forward. I have been DEEPLY, DEEPLY depressed since doing the DMT. I've always struggled with depression to some degree, but never like this. I didn't know it could be this bad. I'm against pharmaceuticals but in the past have tried 5-htp, St. John's Wort, Passionflower and few other remedies that have somewhat helped. They aren't helping at all this time.
Of course, there are factors to consider other than the DMT, but really after doing DMT is when this all began and I can't help but to trust my intuition that the two are connected.
Maybe my brief glimpse left me wanting more...or maybe it showed me there is something else. I've always felt that I don't really belong on this planet. I am super sensitive, empathetic, compassionate, and all the greed and destruction hurts me so much. I can't stand the rat race, or living ruled by money and work. At the same time, I'm very spiritual and meditative, and understand that I am just passing through and that there is a lot of good and happiness in this world.
After the DMT though, I can hardly function. Nothing ignites inspiration in me. In all honesty, if there were an off button for life I would eagerly push it (assuming I could just disappear as though I never existed, I wouldn't want to hurt anyone or leave my kitties homeless!)
Has anyone else experienced extreme depression after DMT...the kind where you can't even think, open you mouth to speak, move, eat or do ANYTHING. I can barely function and have spent days in bed unable to get up which I have never done before...luckily I have these two weeks off work or I have no idea what I would do. Any help or suggestions would be appreciated..I'm worried I've kind of thrown off my already imbalanced brain chemistry with the DMT.