☮ Social ☮ EWO's out of the game

[eye_wide_open]

PS..
The doctor said my blood sugar is fine. I'm not a diabetic.
You can see my glucose reading in the first post of this thread where I show the blood test. It's pretty much the same today.
I'm not a diabetic. But I need to still see a specialist. The new appointment with a reliable doctor has been scheduled. this will be blood test #3 next week. If the insufficiency hasn't improved by then, They need to apply treatments. He said I may not need dialysis since I'm still peeing OK. But I'd like more opinions on that.

Hope this stuff helps somebody. Going through hell to bring it to you. 12 hours waiting around a bunch of sick and injured people today to get this info.

I guess they also still need to check my thyroid for whatever reason.
Whatever that thingamijiggy does.

They checked my blood pressure several times too and they said nothing to worry about.

 

[eye_wide_open]

The new drug they gave me is called Temazepam. "Restoril 15mg"
It says it's for sleep but it killed my death anxiety last night in ten minutes flat.
I stayed awake on it for a little while. I was all high off the pill.
I go now to these damn BEnzo drugs I need to get off the other drugs?
Sounds ridiculous to me.

these are the strongest ones I've had yet. On par with Xanax.
It was "hard" to wake up and get out of bed this morning. Due to the lingering effects of the medication.
Sorry for multiple posts. Maybe this info helps someone.

Are you on another forum I know of...?

No.
I've been staying here at Bluelight, currently. I don't post about drugs elsewhere.
I can't even do drugs anymore accept these prescribed Benzos to stop the anxiety.
I'm not abusing them either, I'm saving them for when they are needed because Death Anxiety is extremely unwanted.

Read as, "Scares the shit out of me".
To the tune of hospital visits.

An interesting thing to note...
I was psychiatrically (sp) evaluated while in the hospital by the PAT team.
They told me I'm not crazy. As if I needed to know that one!
I felt a bit flustered they decided to send the psych ward after me because of the bath salts.
They thought I might flip out and try to "eat somebodies face" from the Bath Salt.
Little do they know, the Floridian who ate eyeballs for lunch was just a stoner..

 

[Woundrous]

EWO you should look into supplementing with creatine malate, in addition to taking a break from drug use and be exercising, eating healthy, resting and whatnot (you know living a healthy lifestyle). Those doctors won't tell you about creatine. They are not smart enough.

But I recently figured some stuff out. I am an old member, very knowledgeable. Creatine supplementation is not some "magic fix" ... you probably damn near did OD (how close to death we don't know right) and depleted your body of all sorts of nutrients... especially ATP.

You can see it in your blood work data. It says creatinine levels are high. That's probably because you burned up all your endogenous creatine in the body/brain and are pushing out the metabolite (creatinine). Creatine is the source for ATP. When you use strong stimulant drugs that activate GPCRs... You need to replenish ATP levels.

Sorry if you don't understand the medical lingo, but if you plan on doing drugs close to this level ever again, please take creatine or even better creatine malate (its a better form of the supplement) to keep your body more prepared for the stress the drugs will put it through.

But you should take a break and get your health together first. I think the kidney disease is just BS the doctors say to scare you about your drug use... which you need, I mean you need a wake up call right to get shit together.

BUT I would try the healthy lifestyle approach over taking benzos and such just to sleep or whatever. You can always exercise and this will make your body tired and you will have to sleep no matter what eventually!

 

[eye_wide_open]

You are wrong. I'm not adding any more anything to my system, specially without doctor prescription. I'll take advice from a doctor in person, thanks.

I'm not even adding salt to my system.

Think twice before recommending people things with real problems.

Don't give people excuses you THINK you know so that they can squeeze more unknown drugs into them. I, for one, know better. That's where a doctor will draw the line. They will only do things they KNOW work.

You have no idea what I'm going through obviously. The benzos are absolutely necessary.
My real doctor appointment is coming up. I HAVE been exercising.
I pay for REAL medical care. People trying to get me OFF all these wacky drugs. Not give me excuses to take more.

If I take drugs again, years from now, it will be natural stuff.
DMT, Mushrooms, Morning glory seeds off the vine... cactus... etc.
And not binge style.

Only reason I will take the benzos is when I start feeling like death is coming. They work.

 

[pazuzu]

Creatine is part of our natural diet. You get it in food (mostly meat), and your body also produces some of it by itself. It's not an unknown drug at all; rather, it's a vital nutrient. I'm not saying you need to supplement creatine (unless you are a vegetarian, then it's not a bad idea), just that it's okay to take and that you are getting it anyway when you eat.

 

[eye_wide_open]

As far as unkown drug, I was referring to the MXE and Bath salts consumption.
I'd really like to emphasize it all started on MXE, too.

I'm extremely cautious about adding anything to my system right now.
My slip says no herbal supplements even.
Just smoking weed, something I've done for 15 years issue free, can set off the attacks.
I'm not going to start taking something I have no proof is ok for me to take.
Vitamins were included on my sheet. Magnesium, etc etc.
Won't take anything I didn't ask my doctor about first, right now.

I have medical conditions. That would be unwise.

Further studies are required in the elderly and patients with renal insufficiency.

That means I better use my better judgement than to go shoveling creatine.
I don't mean to be rude, but I can't help you guys here. Get someone else.

EWO is out of this guessing game.

 

[mixer]

Alprazolam (xanax) 20x potent as temazepam ref (i.e. 1mg alprazolam is equivalent to 20mg temazepam). I'd say you're feeling a lot more from the temazepam due to you're renal impairment as the primary route of excretion of this drug is via the kidneys.

 

[eye_wide_open]

That could make sense.
It seems like any drug I take right now has more profound effects than usual..

I'm still smoking a bit of weed here and there but much more cautiously and just a hit at a time or so.
If I take too much I cross a "threshold" and start having the attacks.
I can feel myself go over the line. It's fuckin' weird. :/
Shit inside me isn't normal no mo.

My current strain stash is Lemon Thai Mids. I reduced a bit from the super heady OG.

I took a temazepam last night and it didn't knock me out at all. It did prevent any attacks tho.
I took a Xanax one time and that thing made me hit the sack right quick.

so that's good to know. I'm on a lighter benzo. It does help me sleep too, I did tell them I was only sleeping 4 of 8 hours per night lately.

The weed is actually somewhat medical for me. I use it in the mornings for upset stomach. In the evening for appetite suppression sometimes or after meals to calm my stomach. I only need a rip or two right now as opposed to being able to choke down three bowls in a sitting before.

Yes, I realize the weed may not enter the blood through the kidneys but rather the lungs, or whatever.

Hopefully I can heal. When I see the doctor again finally, the head honcho, I'm hoping for somewhat good news, but It likely won't turn out that way. I'm sure I went and messed myself up at least a little bit, with how much crap I stuffed in me within a 6-7-8month time.

Haven't exactly been feeling as good as normal since the last two major episodes that sent me to the hospital. Kinda burned out on all this and not feeling well. I have to go turn in insurance papers on Monday and cross my fingers they accept me. Otherwise I'm sure I'll end up shelling out lots more $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.
Stoopid evil dollars.

Reading back,
I see a missed this question partially.

Maybe it is from dehydration? What amounts were you taking it in? ROA? Details so the tragedy doesn't repeat please!

I covered the water for sure. I drink like a fish all day long. Hydration is important to me.
I stopped drinking soda recently.
I was buying my MXE by the half gram to gram size bag at a time.
I had about 10 baggies of varying amounts between these limits.
One time I had a two gram bag.
I went a bit overboard with the two gram bag and had a couple overdoses.
eyeballs bugging out of head and such, rolling around on the floor screaming for help swearing I was gonna die.

I let this happen more than one time, thinking they were just bad trips or something.
It's not JUST a bad trip. It's an overdose coupled with a panic attack. And likely taxing the kidneys too. Don't look past these "bad trips" and keep slagging back the powders. you need to start paying attention if anything like that happens.

My frequency WAS about once a week I would binge for a weekend.
Sometimes I would hold off for two weeks, or maybe three weeks, before I would binge for the weekend.

... then the use got worse. More frequent. If I had it, couldn't stop myself from doing another line. In the morning, in the evening, while heading out. While DJing parties.
It became so bad I had to switch out of DJing the party and sideline for the night.
I was becoming a bad addict and didn't realize it. I was having episodes and I took bad advice and coupled with my own decisions, I ignored the signs.

Here I am.

doseage, I took over 200mg's a night at some points.
this was back when the chemical was still waaaaay powerful.
Stuff I had later on wasn't half as potent.

PS..
I don't smoke cigarettes or drink any alcohol.
The doctors kept asking me what was the pain on a level of 1-10 at the maximum height of my trouble. I said about a 5. That was from the chest pains, when they were present... apparently from the death anxiety attacks. I still think it could be internal injuries though. I still get daily pains. Weather or not the attacks are occurring.

It's rather unsettling, but the doctors promise me I'm not dying so I'm trying to ignore the attacks and the pain and heal up while seeing all the doctors I can. I'm not taking any other medications for pain or anything like that. Just the benzos for the attacks and weed here and there, cautiously. I told the doctors I have a medical marijuana card and they added it to my medication sheet without saying anything.

they told me to stop using MXE and BAth salts.
Perhaps I'll post some media later, so you guys know I'm not full of shyt.
It's nice to back stuff up with proof, where possible..

I believe when you go in to the ER saying you consumed unknown powders that possibly have done other weird things to the general public and recently been int he news, you get some odd looks and reactions, and possibly reduced medical care. People are scared of "Bath salts guy in room 2" even if you're one of the nicest last finishing dudes on the planet.

Some thoughts from my shower just now...lol!...

s far as the bath salts frequency ( I went over the MXE use already)..
I was using "cocaine-like" bath salts about every day or every other day.
For about a month to a month and a half.
This was after I decided to stop MXE because I felt it was killing me. (It was)
The bath salts were just as bad, and I started to get the same attacks on the bath salts that I was getting on the MXE.

I'm warning you guys, but I'm not saying don't do MXE.
I'm saying, get there for a weekend and put it away for a year. Then get it back out again. lol
Don't sit there on it for weekends and turn it into weeks and months. You'll fuck up.

There was a reason I Was flushing my MXE. The people here telling me I Was nuts for doing that and I was just having a bad trip etc don't know what they are talking about.
continuing MXE use when you have those trips is a very bad idea.

 

[JBrandon]

I would not add creatine to your diet at this time - you are correct to adhere strictly to what you are told by a professional right now.

Which of the two drugs - the MXE or the stims, do you feel you dosed more of? I don't think this is an effect of one drug BTW - this is likely cumulative damage or even a synergistic damage.

 

[pofacedhoe]

Alprazolam (xanax) 20x potent as temazepam ref (i.e. 1mg alprazolam is equivalent to 20mg temazepam). I'd say you're feeling a lot more from the temazepam due to you're renal impairment as the primary route of excretion of this drug is via the kidneys.

or because when they give people temazepam the mg dose is higher to compensate for the difference in potency. also temazepam is more sedating while xanax is sedating but also anti anxiety.

also the panic attacks are unpleasant but i dont think the feelings of death are to do with poor health its more psychological panic attacks.

the kidney damage is the thing of concern

 

[eye_wide_open]

Back in the emergency room right now.
Had what I think was a heart attack this morning.
Not leaving the ER this time until they figure out what is really wrong. I don't want to die alone at home.

Posted via iphone

 

[kidklmx]

Woah, you mean like an actual heart attack (a real physical problem) or was it an anxiety attack unlike any other before? Hang in there indeed.

 

[p-helix]

i) Do not drink excessive water because this puts undue pressure on your kidneys and increases blood volume putting undue pressure on your veins and heart. ii) Consider making tea from, or otherwise chewing, your 'raw' weed to get CBD without much THC. CBD is anti-psychotic and cardio-protective whereas THC, which becomes active when you smoke or cook weed, is sometimes associated with psychosis. You may benefit from cannabinoids, apart from when THC levels get too high and cause anxiety. Smoking is best avoided so make the tea from weed or just chew on some to get the benefits without problems.

 

[eye_wide_open]

Nothin but stupid fuckin loser idiots in these god damn emergency rooms.
Nobody can help or figure out what is wrong.
About to cuss these people out and walk out of here. Fuck this shit.

 

[eye_wide_open]

Walked out of the hospital yelling at all the morons running the ER.
No new meds, of course... when that happens. The sleeping meds they gave me didn't stop the attack I had this morning.

So looks like I have no medication that works and no treatment options but to wait weeks feeling like I'm having heart attacks and I'm gonna die until I get to see the specialist.

This is fucking insane. Nothing has improved.

they gave me an atavan at the hospital and it's not even working right now. Still having the problems. Seems like Benzo's barely even work for whatever is wrong with me. It's more like a placebo.

They said they can't help me in the emergency room, they say everything looks normal but the renal insufficiency.

They are very very wrong.. which means I get no help.

they can't help you when you fuck up on MXE and bath salts.
To top if off, they got cocky with me and started talking shit about me being a drug addict and to stay away from drugs when I Walked out yelling at them.
Fuck do they know.

Fat fuckers probbaly cheated their way to college to get that large snacking on vending machines at the emergency room all day with people they can't help anyway. Hope they're satisfied.

Now I realize why they have police outside that damn place. Because all the employees are assholes.

 

[eye_wide_open]

WHEN I CAN, I will go out of my way to prove things to you guys.
I can't prove the aliens to you guys but I can prove my two emergency room visits in the last two days and the one two weeks before that..

Wouldn't want you guys thinking I'm making stuff up just to talk down about drugs, because that wouldn't be true.
I love drugs!
I just can't have them anymore because of all this

 

[Thorns Have Roses]

Sorry you're having such a hard time man. You need to hang in there till you can see a specialist, get set up properly for treatment/symptom management, and talk to a psychiatric professional and/or therapist to tackle the panic attacks, or develop techniques to live with the fallout of your actions. I know that's a bunch of words easily spoken and not much help when you're suffering, but at least try to reassure yourself that things will be okay, and that you're going to get better.

 

[eye_wide_open]

Thank you very much.
I'm trying hard. This shit is really dirty to have to deal with.
They dont' know how to help me and I'm starting to grow complacent of my treatment.
I was half way to a brawl out the door with the fat guy in the ER...
Not usually like that either.

My buddy just quit norcos too he's going through withdrawls. We're trying to keep each other positive.
Shit is tough for us right now. We're gonna head out fishing on the kayak and the float tube soon for some R&R.
Maybe I'll post some pics.
Thanks guys for dealing with my BS.

The main thing I want, is not people feeling sorry for me, but to do their best to try and take my advice and go EASY on the POWDERS! do a bit and stash it away for a looong time.
I wish I would have. Then I'd still be able to do drugs, and I'd still have a tiny bit of MXE for when I heal.
I made some bad decisions that it turns out I'm going to have to live with for a while now.

I hope I can heal eventually. Sometimes I think the symptoms are improving, and other times I think they're getting worse. It's clear I'm not out of the woods yet.

I appreciate the kind support.
Not trying to be rude to the guys who suggested me take creatine either, just don't want to push my luck is all. I'm sorry I came off as an ass. I appreciate and contemplate all given suggestions weather I like them or not.
Never know.

That would be cool if the creatine did fix me up, but I'm afraid to give it a shot.

Just happy no cops were involved so far at the hospital or anything.
I guess everything is going smoothly, I'm just getting impatient while dealing with the death anxiety. Wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Just a bit scared because this is my first problem with stimulants like this.

 

[Woundrous]

Don't worry about it. It was only a suggestion if you start using MXE/bath salts again. But if you don't want to do that, then don't.

I second the "hang in there" comments. You've obviously been through a stressful experience and it sounds like the psychological aftermath is sticking with you quite a bit. Try to remember that the people in the emergency room probably do not have any experience using a drug like MXE, so they don't understand what kind of lasting psychological effects an overdose could have on someone's mind. They pin you as a "drug user" because that is what they are trained to think of you as.

MXE is a very powerful drug, especially when combined with other strong ones. The trips high dose MXE causes can have lasting effects on your mind, whether good or bad. If you at least went to the ER and they said nothing is apparently wrong, then you should be fine physically which is the most important thing. Now you just need to get your mind past the stress you have been through. Time is probably the most important factor here. And keeping your mind occupied with other stuff you enjoy. You can heal, probably faster than you expect.

If you want to go see a professional psychiatrist you can try this too. But recognize you might get stuck with another person that has no experience using drugs, and so they may be prone to taking the same types of routes that the medical doctors have... in getting you to admit you are a drug addict or have problems first. Making you say things you might not necessarily be comfortable with saying or discussing with them. It is hard to say: finding good doctors and psychiatrists is very, very hard these days.

And odds are they would just want to stick you on some more medications, which does not seem like what you need right now.

 

[JBrandon]

I'm not saying you don't have a physiological problem going on with these death attacks, but a true-blue, dyed-in-the-wool panic attack is indistinguishable from a heart attack in terms of symptoms. The outcome is where they differ.

So there may be some truth to what they say regarding nothing being wrong besides your renal issues. I know it doesn't feel that way, but it could be true.

Don't discount the post-acute withdrawal effects you could be going through - and try not to fixate on the idea that something is wrong with you. Even if there is, it is clearly beyond their ability to detect or diagnose. You're young - you're more resilient and adaptable and capable of healing than you would ever think. Just give yourself time, you won't be feeling better overnight.

Best of luck.