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Ever doubt your own sanity?

Jabberwocky

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
84,998
I mean, crazy ppl dont realize that they are behaving crazy, and if they do, they normally cant help it, but sometimes i catch myself doing ungodly things like, idk, watching "Chris-chan" videos, and i think to myself "why do i feel the need to watch a mentally challenged sex offender doing stupid shit and humilliating himself?" And i start seeing myself as others around me would if they saw me watching that idiot for hours on end. Idk what im talking about.
 
Oh, yeah, sure do.
Thing is I have somehow learned to recognize when I start to "transition" to whatever. Learning to walk away form some things lately. Maybe they are part/parcel IDK.
Some think my literal perspectives may be a bit fantastical and possibly a little insane or whatever they wanna call it these days.
I had suspected something had been *askew since early youngin'. Looking back I know I was/am.
 
I like to explore the limits of my sanity, but that makes me understand and trust it even more.
 
6am-64-14m said:
Oh, yeah, sure do.
Thing is I have somehow learned to recognize when I start to "transition" to whatever. Learning to walk away form some things lately. Maybe they are part/parcel IDK.
Some think my literal perspectives may be a bit fantastical and possibly a little insane or whatever they wanna call it these days.
I had suspected something had been *askew since early youngin'. Looking back I know I was/am.
Click to expand...

since i was a kid, i knew i was going to be a junkie. like, even before trying any drug at all. i just knew it. i have only heard that from another person and he is a scorpio like me. but i wonder why that happens? so weird.
 
Oh fuck yes. I was fooled into having some serious mental condition by psychiatry and shrinks, that I'd never be normal, never would make it in a decent job, was a sociophobic narcisst and whatnot and it took some bad incidents (like aggression against cops after experiencing cop violence) and more than 10 years for me to realize that I'm just an average normal boring human with an affinity for altered states. Maybe too many emotions for this world or too much empathy but I'm not even sure about that anymore. Stopped all meds I've been on and am definitely better off without them (antidepressants, mood stabilizer, opiates) but I miss my dissociatives. They helped me in putting the nastier emotions besides.
 
Just by the stupid things I've done others and myself at times have questioned my sanity. Like the places I go and the things I've done.

"Only you can free yourself from mental slavery" - Bob Marley . one of the greatest qoutes
 
I mean it's a common thought that everyone on a plane when a baby is screaming that they want to strangle it, the difference between the true sociopaths and psychopaths' is they may actually formulate a plan or would consider doing so if they could get away with it.

I often think of where people's morals would end if they knew they would not get caught for doing something.. would you kill someone you hate if you know you'd get away with it? Would you rape someone you found attractive if you knew you'd get away with it? Do you fear God? Do you think it would change you?

would you eventually regret it and feel remorse? Where does the human conditioning end and our animalistic nature kick in? I mean if someone tried to steal the partner of a gorilla or a lion, wouldn't they kill them? How far off are we from that aside from the societal impacts of those actions? It's a great debate actually.
 
plumbus-nine said:
Oh fuck yes. I was fooled into having some serious mental condition by psychiatry and shrinks, that I'd never be normal, never would make it in a decent job, was a sociophobic narcisst and whatnot and it took some bad incidents (like aggression against cops after experiencing cop violence) and more than 10 years for me to realize that I'm just an average normal boring human with an affinity for altered states. Maybe too many emotions for this world or too much empathy but I'm not even sure about that anymore. Stopped all meds I've been on and am definitely better off without them (antidepressants, mood stabilizer, opiates) but I miss my dissociatives. They helped me in putting the nastier emotions besides.
Click to expand...
Bro, me too. I was told the wackiest shit by many shrinks, and the meds they gave me messed me up badly. I learned about anti-psychiatry afterwards. I do miss heroin, but maybe thats never going to change
 
OpiateKiller said:
I mean it's a common thought that everyone on a plane when a baby is screaming that they want to strangle it, the difference between the true sociopaths and psychopaths' is they may actually formulate a plan or would consider doing so if they could get away with it.

I often think of where people's morals would end if they knew they would not get caught for doing something.. would you kill someone you hate if you know you'd get away with it? Would you rape someone you found attractive if you knew you'd get away with it? Do you fear God? Do you think it would change you?

would you eventually regret it and feel remorse? Where does the human conditioning end and our animalistic nature kick in? I mean if someone tried to steal the partner of a gorilla or a lion, wouldn't they kill them? How far off are we from that aside from the societal impacts of those actions? It's a great debate actually.
Click to expand...
I see tons of insanity in the west lately if u know what i mean. I think the line has been heavily blurred, and the sane are now called insane
 
strangeaeon said:
I mean, crazy ppl dont realize that they are behaving crazy, and if they do, they normally cant help it, but sometimes i catch myself doing ungodly things like, idk, watching "Chris-chan" videos, and i think to myself "why do i feel the need to watch a mentally challenged sex offender doing stupid shit and humilliating himself?" And i start seeing myself as others around me would if they saw me watching that idiot for hours on end. Idk what im talking about.
Click to expand...
All the time and too little
 
I have been psychotic and its a very odd feeling - you can be perfectly fine at the same time as holding a delusion that is completely bananas. I used to see shadow people and try and find listening devices in the house for hours - but apart from that you wouldnt know there was anything wrong with me.

Its a very frightening thing to deal with and absolutely nothing like being out there on psychedelics
 
I'm stuck in a loop, I'm having this dreams lately(they are so vivid and I need time to get back to reality when I wake up)...something strange is fucking happening.
I need to stop sometimes, with MPH I sleep dreamless then again restless.
This is happening last two years and in couple languages, this will sound insane but it's like some transcendence will happen and I will be there to see that.
But my awake life started to be meaningless and I need to be there for couple persons. Emotional and existential!
So I started to write in my native language. I'm scared and I fear only for my kid.
I was never psychotic only had synesthesia from withdrawals, but now I'm drowning when I'm awake. This was April when someone who has influence saw that and
I must stop we will see soon I think.
 
ĐmantuNJofra said:
I'm stuck in a loop, I'm having this dreams lately(they are so vivid and I need time to get back to reality when I wake up)...something strange is fucking happening.
I need to stop sometimes, with MPH I sleep dreamless then again restless.
This is happening last two years and in couple languages, this will sound insane but it's like some transcendence will happen and I will be there to see that.
But my awake life started to be meaningless and I need to be there for couple persons. Emotional and existential!
So I started to write in my native language. I'm scared and I fear only for my kid.
I was never psychotic only had synesthesia from withdrawals, but now I'm drowning when I'm awake. This was April when someone who has influence saw that and
I must stop we will see soon I think.
Click to expand...
I think dreams are trying to tell us stuff even if we dont like it haha i rarely not hate every dream i have, but what if you try to decypher it and find something really cool? I have lucid dreams since i was a kid where i can do whatever i want in them, the only ones i dont like is when i dream that my father is Satan. It sucks because i am a christian and i love my father haha i would hate to know that he was actually Satan.
 
I never question my total sanity, but very often when I have hallucinations I question my brain's ability to function properly.

I've never had true delusions, but I still question random sounds I hear.... "was that a real sound??". That's mostly just anxiety from past psychosis.
 
Ismene2 said:
I have been psychotic and its a very odd feeling - you can be perfectly fine at the same time as holding a delusion that is completely bananas. I used to see shadow people and try and find listening devices in the house for hours - but apart from that you wouldnt know there was anything wrong with me.

Its a very frightening thing to deal with and absolutely nothing like being out there on psychedelics
Click to expand...
The day i learned about Biometrix and stuff like that, i became psychotic, i was also searching for listening devices inside doors and lamps in my apartment but i dont think that counts as crazy because those are things that actually happen and it's normal wanting to avoid them
 
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