Empathy (or whatever)

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

I have been feeling paralyzed mentally with what may be something to do with title.

What is Empathy?​

Empathy is, “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.” Empathy is typically a quality that people seek to have. So how can too much empathy be a bad thing?

What is Toxic Empathy?​

Toxic empathy is when a person over-identifies with someone else’s feelings and directly takes them on as their own. For example, feeling anxious for a friend when they’re facing stress at work can be normal. However, if this anxiety keeps you from concentrating on the things you need to get done, it’s considered toxic empathy.

Another example is if you’re the one all of your family members flock to for advice. This may cause you to become overwhelmed by all of their problems. This may leave you feeling drained and make you feel like you have no time left to take care of your own problems.

Toxic empathy is when you don’t just mirror other people’s feelings, you absorb them. So how do we fix this?"

I feel like reading through a few sites that this kinda mirrors my situation fairly closely and have never heard of it.
Wanting others opinions (if any) that may relate.
As much as I distrust the med est I may try to tele-whatever to see if any insight can be gaied and maybe break this BS.
Not always had this as there was a time I really didnt GAF but things do change and thought I would post here as a fist option.
I get we can only offer so much advice (who in med field can do more? ) but trust you more than any for genuine support and honest replies.

 

[Cheshire_Kat]

Yes, it's real. It can be very detrimental as well.

I had to pull back from the world in order to survive. I'm not suggesting that as it had it's own problems. Just know that at least you are not alone.

 

[AbbeyLee]

I don't consciously worry about other people (except my daughter) but I'm sure I can directly feel their emotions. Especially my mother. I guess I'm what they call an Empath (such a buzzword I don't like it).

My mother has this amazing ability to deny things ie. go into denial and forget they even happened. Basically I feel like my whole life she's projected her crap onto me and spared herself the anxiety.

 

[mal3volent]

It's called having a big heart and caring more for others than yourself. Manipulative and abusive people gravitate toward us and take advantage of it. It's very difficult not to become so hurt and resentful that you become isolated and unable to form healthy relationships. Then you end up pushing away people who actually love you.

 

[Painful One]

Very good subject and I know what you mean.
I have always been a person that others flock to and just start telling me their deepest secrets.
like, on a totally weird scale.
Random people in grocery stores come up to me and bow and start spilling their guts to me.
My daughter has had to learn to live with it and always looks at me like, what in the hell?
I always listen and just say “you are forgiven”.

Healthy boundaries is something I had to learn.
You must keep a circle of Light around yourself that you use as a shield.
Do not absorb the negative energy but instead let it bounce off your shield.
Once in awhile, for very close loved ones, I allow that energy to flow through me and cleanse it.
I hurt myself doing that until I learned to do it right.
Think in your mind of the Pink Floyd album cover with the prism that has the light flowing out the other side of the crystal in clean colors. Let me go find it to show you what I mean.

But my best advise is to shield and to have boundaries.
There is a line that no one crosses.
That is MY personal boundary and they will hit My SHIELD!

 

[Painful One]

Yes, it's real. It can be very detrimental as well.

I had to pull back from the world in order to survive. I'm not suggesting that as it had it's own problems. Just know that at least you are not alone.

Me too.
Thank you.
It is nice to know I am not alone but I am sorry you had to also pull back from the world.

I must concentrate on healing myself for a change.
That seems to be the hardest thing to do.
I am trying to love myself as I love others.

“Physician heal thyself !”
as they say.

 

[Painful One]

I don't consciously worry about other people (except my daughter) but I'm sure I can directly feel their emotions. Especially my mother. I guess I'm what they call an Empath (such a buzzword I don't like it).

My mother has this amazing ability to deny things ie. go into denial and forget they even happened. Basically I feel like my whole life she's projected her crap onto me and spared herself the anxiety.

We have the same mother!
I know your pain.

 

[AbbeyLee]

We have the same mother!
I know your pain.

I could kill her I think.

 

[Painful One]

I could kill her I think.

Man, I feel you.

I had a huge break through on that issue recently.
Due to circumstances unfolding with the Covid vaccine and myocarditis.
I did not know how bad myocarditis was until I researched it.
My mom had myocarditis at age 22 (I think, sometimes she says 17, other times it is 22)
at any rate, she has had heart damage as long as I have been her daughter.
She has been operating her whole life disabled.
She covers it by scapegoating it onto me.
It is never a problem with her, it is me. Lol!

So, I learned what the real root of the issue is that always boggled my mind.
It helped to find forgiveness for her.
An amazing and wonderful thing has happened since I did forgive her and showed her incredible compassion.
We have actually become true friends.
I never, ever thought that would happen but it did.

Maybe something similar is what your mom is doing to you?

Overcome it with love.
You can do this.

Much love and understanding to you @AbbeyLee

 

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

Is there a way to break this issue without drugs?
Drugs seem to make it worse....
Seems it daily drags me down but know there are valid means to balance this.

 

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

It's called having a big heart and caring more for others than yourself. Manipulative and abusive people gravitate toward us and take advantage of it. It's very difficult not to become so hurt and resentful that you become isolated and unable to form healthy relationships. Then you end up pushing away people who actually love you.

This right here.
Textbook my life ATM.

 

[AbbeyLee]

Man, I feel you.

I had a huge break through on that issue recently.
Die to circumstances unfolding with the Covid vaccine and myocarditis.
I did not know how bad myocarditis was until I researched it.
My mom had myocarditis at age 22 (I think, sometimes she says 17, other times it is 22)
at any rate, she has had heart damage as long as I have been her daughter.
She has been operating her whole life disabled.
She covers it by scapegoating it onto me.
It is never a problem with her, it is me. Lol!

So, I learned what the real root of the issue is that always boggled my mind.
It helped to find forgiveness for her.
An amazing and wonderful thing has happened since I did forgive her and showed her incredible compassion.
We have actually become true friends.
I never, ever thought that would happen but it did.

Maybe something similar is what your mom is doing to you?

Overcome it with love.
You can do this.

Much love and understanding to you @AbbeyLee

There's a book by Alice Sebold (The Lovely Bones) called The Almost Moon about a woman who does kill her mother. I read it years ago but will never forget a line from it because I could relate so much: "I knew my mother's limitations like the marrow in my bones."

I can't forgive her atm because she's still doing something that you'd need to be a saint to forgive. Whether she stops before she dies, I don't know.

The Almost Moon - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

 

[Nas47]

I have been feeling paralyzed mentally with what may be something to do with title.

What is Empathy?​

Empathy is, “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.” Empathy is typically a quality that people seek to have. So how can too much empathy be a bad thing?

What is Toxic Empathy?​

Toxic empathy is when a person over-identifies with someone else’s feelings and directly takes them on as their own. For example, feeling anxious for a friend when they’re facing stress at work can be normal. However, if this anxiety keeps you from concentrating on the things you need to get done, it’s considered toxic empathy.

Another example is if you’re the one all of your family members flock to for advice. This may cause you to become overwhelmed by all of their problems. This may leave you feeling drained and make you feel like you have no time left to take care of your own problems.

Toxic empathy is when you don’t just mirror other people’s feelings, you absorb them. So how do we fix this?"

I feel like reading through a few sites that this kinda mirrors my situation fairly closely and have never heard of it.
Wanting others opinions (if any) that may relate.
As much as I distrust the med est I may try to tele-whatever to see if any insight can be gaied and maybe break this BS.
Not always had this as there was a time I really didnt GAF but things do change and thought I would post here as a fist option.
I get we can only offer so much advice (who in med field can do more? ) but trust you more than any for genuine support and honest replies.

Things u said are typicall for witchwomen/men or priest,'cause they have constant relations with mentally ill or possessed persons..a lot of black energy...i know that witchwomen/man every night clean them selfs(i don't know how),cause they feel very bad,start to vommit...etc...Priests,if they are a real,true priests from the calling of their hearts....perhaps send all night in prayers in solitude.Well....that are people with mission...to carry this burden ain't easy....that's how u can understand-is this person a real healer....He/she don't want payment....but u must leave something-a coin even or some precious to u.....even it could be an ordinary stone

 

[Painful One]

Things u said are typicall for witchwomen/men or priest,'cause they have constant relations with mentally ill or possessed persons..a lot of black energy...i know that witchwomen/man every night clean them selfs(i don't know how),cause they feel very bad,start to vommit...etc...Priests,if they are a real,true priests from the calling of their hearts....perhaps send all night in prayers in solitude.Well....that are people with mission...to carry this burden ain't easy....that's how u can understand-is this person a real healer....He/she don't want payment....but u must leave something-a coin even or some precious to u.....even it could be an ordinary stone

Well that is some interesting insight there.
wow! I always wondered how these people recognized me and would bow.
They are possessed then.
Hence the bowing and recognition.
I had one actually get on their knees to speak to me once.

That would also explain the need for solitude in such large doses.
It might even explain the migraine headache attacks that happen if I don’t take that time for solitude and cleansing- clearing my own energy.

 

[Nas47]

Well they can see your aura....your vibes....anybody almost can do this,but few are this that could help u.Cause there are things that u must passed alone.
.Destiny,Karma....but the Higher One,The Holy spirit helps u.
....It can carry on alive on the other shore....but sufferings are your load,your cross...ye...what is the point?Well i don't know.50 years(old)are just nothin'

 

[Painful One]

There's a book by Alice Sebold (The Lovely Bones) called The Almost Moon about a woman who does kill her mother. I read it years ago but will never forget a line from it because I could relate so much: "I knew my mother's limitations like the marrow in my bones."

I can't forgive her atm because she's still doing something that you'd need to be a saint to forgive. Whether she stops before she dies, I don't know.

The Almost Moon - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

Understood.

Just try to open yourself to the possibility that you are not seeing all sides.
We do not see all perspectives at once.
It was a good place to start for me.

 

[Painful One]

Well they can see your aura....your vibes....anybody almost can do this,but few are this that could help u.Cause there are things that u must passed alone.
.Destiny,Karma....but the Higher One,The Holy spirit helps u.
....It can carry on alive on the other shore....but sufferings are your load,your cross...ye...what is the point?Well i don't know.50 years(old)are just nothin'

Absolutely it is The Holy Spirit that comes through me.
It is not my own power.
I feel it take over.

The only thing that has helped me is Near Death Experience.
I have a much better understanding now and you are right...I had to go that alone.
That thing chased me down, determined that I would have it!
I tried to run, but there is no running.
It is a scary thing to fall into the hands of The Living God!

It is a heavy cross to carry until you understand that you do not have to carry it.
The Lord carries it for me.
I learned to place it all on him.
He carries me now.

 

[Painful One]

 

[Jerry Atrick]

I've not previously heard the term "toxic empathy." But back when I was a social worker, we were taught to be aware of what they called "compassion fatigue," which is essentially the same thing but doesn't sound so negative.

One thing I learned was to at least try to set rigid boundaries with people. It's okay to listen and be there for someone but sometimes they need reminding that we are not professional therapists, counselors, or psychiatrists. Even then, I'm sure therapists, counselors, and psychiatrists also experience compassion fatigue and so need their own outlet for these emotions.

Keep fighting the good fight everyone and try to carve out some alone time to decompress and rejuvenate your own mental health. If you need to speak with a therapist, let them shoulder some of the load as they are trained in helping us learn how to cope in a healthy manner. @6am-64-14m I absolutely believe this can be done without medication. As I just mentioned, talk therapy is a great first step in getting help before even considering speaking to a psychiatrist for meds. Besides, I don't think we can medicate away being empathetic and sensitive to others' ailments unless you just want to be numb.

 

[Nas47]

Absolutely it is The Holy Spirit that comes through me.
It is not my own power.
I feel it take over.

The only thing that has helped me is Near Death Experience.
I have a much better understanding now and you are right...I had to go that alone.
That thing chased me down, determined that I would have it!
I tried to run, but there is no running.
It is a scary thing to fall into the hands of The Living God!

It is a heavy cross to carry until you understand that you do not have to carry it.
The Lord carries it for me.
I learned to place it all on him.
He carries me now.

Amen!!!