EADD Heroin thread v.XXIV -- welcome back, PinkPapaver!

[apocalypse_when]

Its not great but its better. It still hurts but it didn't infect so its not as swollen. It still hurts to fuck at the injection site and its all rock hard now. Thrombosed. Gone. Nothing flowing through that ever again. Loads of nice juicy new ones suddenly appeared to take the strain. Look great for using but they blow twice as quick as the primary sites.

I think the days of me sticking syringes in myself has come to an end.

Yeah, when a vein collapses and becomes blocked the body makes new ones to bypass the blockage but they are always more fragile than the original one.

 

[steewith2ees]

Yeah, when a vein collapses and becomes blocked the body makes new ones to bypass the blockage but they are always more fragile than the original one.

Yh, or they reroute through secondary veins that become overloaded and liable to pop as soon as a syringe goes anywhere near them.

Its surreal to go from a reality where I suspected my days of using this drug via this ROA were numbered, to knowing that they are over.

Since Thursday and for the first time in years I have developed an active disinclination to use and following my usual w/e routine of weed and home cinema have to make an effort now, one that is not impossible but that still results in personal failure 25% of the time, to put the remainder of the weed away, which if retained in the stash tin until next Friday afternoon will be more that enough for next Sat and Sun and which will have the most positive effect on my mood if given a rest for a few days. So, with the cycle of getting stoned to break and a pretty miserable place to break out of following the self induced drug related injury I took advantage of a brief geographical convenience to cop a couple of bits at 8.54am this morning.

Being an irrational addict this is not the most surprising decision but knowing that all of this is now over, I had to just push the boat out a little more and see if I will even have the chance to say farewell. With 3 items available as the standard deal, I got 2 bags and a piece of cocaine, all of which unsurprisingly lovely and more-ish. Never the less, having now proved to myself that I may be able to squeeze one more shot in I will save that option for Christmas, which will either leave me dead or, preferably, having the best and most motivated new year commitment I have been able to muster in a long time.

Now if I can just hold onto the damn weed for the week I will be ahead of myself psychologically for perhaps the first time in my life (no lies left to even tell myself). I have plenty of diazepam and alprazolam stashed for over the holiday and have clonazepam tablets of both UK doses coming out of my ass and in case I do start to crave the poppies even a little there is a strip of 100mg morphine xr caps. for good measure.

 

[blondin]

dont think i was that clear.... just wondering what the hit was like if you made a shot up and boofed it - better than smoking? as that's all i do now (after 20 years of no problem shooting fucked all my veins after 18m of speedballs)

 

[apocalypse_when]

Yh, or they reroute through secondary veins that become overloaded and liable to pop as soon as a syringe goes anywhere near them.

Its surreal to go from a reality where I suspected my days of using this drug via this ROA were numbered, to knowing that they are over.

Since Thursday and for the first time in years I have developed an active disinclination to use and following my usual w/e routine of weed and home cinema have to make an effort now, one that is not impossible but that still results in personal failure 25% of the time, to put the remainder of the weed away, which if retained in the stash tin until next Friday afternoon will be more that enough for next Sat and Sun and which will have the most positive effect on my mood if given a rest for a few days. So, with the cycle of getting stoned to break and a pretty miserable place to break out of following the self induced drug related injury I took advantage of a brief geographical convenience to cop a couple of bits at 8.54am this morning.

Being an irrational addict this is not the most surprising decision but knowing that all of this is now over, I had to just push the boat out a little more and see if I will even have the chance to say farewell. With 3 items available as the standard deal, I got 2 bags and a piece of cocaine, all of which unsurprisingly lovely and more-ish. Never the less, having now proved to myself that I may be able to squeeze one more shot in I will save that option for Christmas, which will either leave me dead or, preferably, having the best and most motivated new year commitment I have been able to muster in a long time.

Now if I can just hold onto the damn weed for the week I will be ahead of myself psychologically for perhaps the first time in my life (no lies left to even tell myself). I have plenty of diazepam and alprazolam stashed for over the holiday and have clonazepam tablets of both UK doses coming out of my ass and in case I do start to crave the poppies even a little there is a strip of 100mg morphine xr caps. for good measure.

Sounds like you have plenty of morphine and benzos stashed. What is your plan for the new year? Are you gonna try and get off the methadone for good? I think i remember reading that you were gonna try and get down low enough to either go into rehab or switch to subs? Personally i dont think subs are any easier to get off than methadone. Im gonna get off fentanyl in the new year as my doctor says i have to. He reckons that they are doing this to everyone. He says that the maximum they would be allowed to prescribe of fentanyl is 50mcg/hr as directed by the CCGs. Dont know where this came from but he swears its true. I have just reduced from 100mcg to 87.5mcg and that was pretty painless but since 12.5mcg is the smallest size they make, i can see it becoming tougher towards the end but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it i guess. I just hate the feeling of being chained to a drug for fear of withdrawls and fentanly withdrawls are really severe... much worse than morphine and an although I've never done street heroin, I imagine much worse than that too.... i was given diamorphine through an epidural catheter this summer and even though it was a very low dosage (around 10mg or so) I still felt it. The doc says that epidural diamorphine is a lot stronger than IV. Since the BA of IV is 100% im not sure how this csn be true, but it certainly felt sttonger when delivered straight into the spinal fluid and therefore straight into the brain.

Arghh!!! I hate opiates so much!!!

 

[Inso]

Apocalypse Now: I really enjoyed reading your little snippets from army life in Afghanistan. Please start a thread and tell more :D

 

[steewith2ees]

Sounds like you have plenty of morphine and benzos stashed. What is your plan for the new year? Are you gonna try and get off the methadone for good? I think i remember reading that you were gonna try and get down low enough to either go into rehab or switch to subs? Personally i dont think subs are any easier to get off than methadone. Im gonna get off fentanyl in the new year as my doctor says i have to. He reckons that they are doing this to everyone. He says that the maximum they would be allowed to prescribe of fentanyl is 50mcg/hr as directed by the CCGs. Dont know where this came from but he swears its true. I have just reduced from 100mcg to 87.5mcg and that was pretty painless but since 12.5mcg is the smallest size they make, i can see it becoming tougher towards the end but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it i guess. I just hate the feeling of being chained to a drug for fear of withdrawls and fentanly withdrawls are really severe... much worse than morphine and an although I've never done street heroin, I imagine much worse than that too.... i was given diamorphine through an epidural catheter this summer and even though it was a very low dosage (around 10mg or so) I still felt it. The doc says that epidural diamorphine is a lot stronger than IV. Since the BA of IV is 100% im not sure how this csn be true, but it certainly felt sttonger when delivered straight into the spinal fluid and therefore straight into the brain.

Arghh!!! I hate opiates so much!!!

Shit bud I'm sorry to hear that you are back on tons of narcotics again after going through the crucible once already with the methadone.

If I can stick to the weekends revelations and have a heroin free December from here, notwithstanding a final Christmas day send off, then I will be in the best place I have in years. The home situation is still too demanding and volatile to attempt a methadone detox at home and the goal is still detox + rehab but although my last attempt failed at the 11th hour (I was down from 70mg to 15 with a bed available when I relapsed) I know I can use the time at home to get it down to 20mg OD at least, but this has to be concurrent with a real demonstration to both myself and my DSP that I can manage this without resorting to unprescribed drugs several times a week (the heroin goes without saying, but its been nearly a year since I went longer than a week without some type of bzd and I need to be able to show I can put them down altogether for a month with no issues other than rebound anxiety and the moderate withdrawal symptoms I have got on past occasions.

 

[apocalypse_when]

Shit bud I'm sorry to hear that you are back on tons of narcotics again after going through the crucible once already with the methadone.

If I can stick to the weekends revelations and have a heroin free December from here, notwithstanding a final Christmas day send off, then I will be in the best place I have in years. The home situation is still too demanding and volatile to attempt a methadone detox at home and the goal is still detox + rehab but although my last attempt failed at the 11th hour (I was down from 70mg to 15 with a bed available when I relapsed) I know I can use the time at home to get it down to 20mg OD at least, but this has to be concurrent with a real demonstration to both myself and my DSP that I can manage this without resorting to unprescribed drugs several times a week (the heroin goes without saying, but its been nearly a year since I went longer than a week without some type of bzd and I need to be able to show I can put them down altogether for a month with no issues other than rebound anxiety and the moderate withdrawal symptoms I have got on past occasions.

Do they drug test you at the DSP place?

Regardless of how much I may disagree with you regarding the handling of a certain member here, I do very much wish you nothing but the best in regard to getting off this shit for good. I know all too well how easy it is to use opiates as a way of masking the mental pain of onew homelife.

Its only very recently that ive felt able to even mention my time in the army and what happened out in Afghanistan even to complete strangers on the internet, let alone to people in the real world....

Ive learned though that bottling things up and pretending that they never happened just makes things 1000 times worse...

Wishing you all the best bud, seriously x

 

[dsd]

Now THIS is some good fucking well shit!

First time in a while I've actually nodded on street gear. Well, second or third, but all off this 8th. Albeit I did start by shooting a quarter 8th.

Getting nicely wankered, whilst eating a tub of clotted cream and frozen honeycomb icecream.

Just about time to throw a few methadone tabs down the hatch IMO.

More bolloxs from @ LIMP DICK

U shot p.8 of gear. yeah, yeah

 

[LoginNotSecure]

More bolloxs from @ LIMP DICK

U shot p.8 of gear. yeah, yeah

 

[apocalypse_when]

U shot p.8 of gear. yeah, yeah

About as believable as shooting 1,000 - 1,500mg of morphine in one go...

You have to ask yourself why? I mean what's the point?

Oops, sorry. I said I'd leave it didn't I?

I will from now. I promised Stee

"Is it my fault that the guy i buy my hash from couldn't come through because he's stuck in Afghanistan?"

That may not be word for word but do you remember that episode where they were trying to get hold of some weed? Fucking hilarious. From Jay's bullshit about his mate who he gets the gear from being stuck in Afghanistan, to being sold tea-leaves, to not being able to skin up, to Will swallowing the whole lump of hash and losing the plot in the bar and them having to call for his mum...

Fucking quality hahahaha!!!

 

[Jabberwocky]

yo guys for your veins I recommend Calendula Cream and before applying the cream alcohol wiping of the arms and hot compresses after the skin dried just apply the Calendula Cream, maybe even some combination of Calendula Cream with vits and antibiotics. for me it works wonders and it's like 2 dollars a little cream packy.

 

[LoginNotSecure]

^ Pretty much Bio Oil but cheaper.

 

[Jabberwocky]

yeah and applying it 3 maybe for 4 days consecutively it does a major difference I had a big mdma,fentanyl and speed binge this weekend and re-used the same spots like a stupidass fiend till my arms looked like mount rushmore, but it was for the rush more (no pun intended)

 

[apocalypse_when]

my arms looked like mount rushmore, but it was for the rush more (no pun intended)

Hahahaha!!! Brilliant.. That made me quite literally L.O.L.

 

[Acidtek]

Hi everyone, back on BL after a long time off, good to see some new faces as well as old and the community still going strong.

I'm so disappointed in myself because I've picked up a habit again after two years clean and a meth detox, I was doing so well and enjoying my clean life, but as per usual as soon as I hit a low point and was down and depressed I could her my old friend calling and waiting to comfort and wrap me in her warm arms.

I started off a couple of times a week thinking I had my shit under control, but within a month i was back to daily use and getting sick in the mornings without it. I'm unscripted and I don't want my family to know what I'm doing, but the lying and sneaking around is killing me

 

[Inso]

Having first proper strong opiate experience. Took 15mg Oxy. A hell of a feeling.

So how does Heroin differ? I would never do it, I'm just curious.

 

[Acidtek]

Personally I find H to be much more euphoric and warm, I found oxy to be a bit lacking and a bit of an empty feeling in comparison, it was very disappointing after all of the hype surrounding it. Mind you I have had an on going battle with heroin for 12 years and only tried oxy recently, so I don't really know how it feels without a pretty hefty opiate tolerance. I'm curious as to why you are ok with trying oxy but would never try heroin? Not that I think that is a bad choice by any means, take it from me, steer well clear of all opiate if you can mate, because addiction creeps up on you fast

 

[endlessnameless]

I have a question for anyone reading this who has kicked small heroin habits in the past (approximately 3/4's of 1 gram a week) - about how long do your physical withdrawals last?

Last kick for me they lasted about 12-14 days, and that was after a 3 year habit. This time I've been on a 4 month run of about 3 or 4 quarter grams a week. Off to canada in 17 days, hoping to feel better by then...think I'm in with a chance?
Cant ever remember them lasting more than 14 days in the past. As far as I remember I'd usually wake up around the two week mark and *boom*, I'd feel back to my old self again. Just really hoping I feel better by then.

 

[steewith2ees]

I have a question for anyone reading this who has kicked small heroin habits in the past (approximately 3/4's of 1 gram a week) - about how long do your physical withdrawals last?

Last kick for me they lasted about 12-14 days, and that was after a 3 year habit. This time I've been on a 4 month run of about 3 or 4 quarter grams a week. Off to canada in 17 days, hoping to feel better by then...think I'm in with a chance?
Cant ever remember them lasting more than 14 days in the past. As far as I remember I'd usually wake up around the two week mark and *boom*, I'd feel back to my old self again. Just really hoping I feel better by then.

While I do get where you are coming from, there is no such thing as a 'small' heroin habit if physically dependant on daily use to negate withdrawal and while symptoms can be much more severe the heavier the aggregated amounts are that you are using, the duration of the syndrome is not usually a factor due to the short duration and half life of the drug.

I managed to get through multiple cold turkeys before I got locked in by my substitute Rx (all with inevitable relapses) and while different people react differently, I believe that my experiences were more or less consistent regardless of whether or not I had been using just one bag a day or more. It would usually take a full 24 hours from my last dose before the discomfort really began, peaking on day 3 (which on many unsuccessful occasions would be the day I cracked) or 4, before tailing off rapidly after that. I may have been luckier than some but I would find that by day 5 some sleep would be possible and that once I had managed to get a reasonable nights worth (day 5 or 6) I would be 80% there and from a physical standpoint at least, free from withdrawal symptoms by day 7.

I am sure that even with your prior experiences telling you that it drags out a little longer than it may have done with me, I am sure by day 17 you will be fine. Just make sure that you stick with it as it is too easy to slip up but hopefully extra rewarding with the trip and all.

 

[apocalypse_when]

I have a question for anyone reading this who has kicked small heroin habits in the past (approximately 3/4's of 1 gram a week) - about how long do your physical withdrawals last?

Last kick for me they lasted about 12-14 days, and that was after a 3 year habit. This time I've been on a 4 month run of about 3 or 4 quarter grams a week. Off to canada in 17 days, hoping to feel better by then...think I'm in with a chance?
Cant ever remember them lasting more than 14 days in the past. As far as I remember I'd usually wake up around the two week mark and *boom*, I'd feel back to my old self again. Just really hoping I feel better by then.

I think you'll be fine. The only opioids with a withdrawl syndrome really longer than 17 days are methadone, buprenorphine and fentanyl patches.

The later sometimes surprises people as they assume that due to fentanyls short half life, fentanyl patches should have a very short withdrawl period. In practice though, the nature of transdermal patches mean that a depot of the drug builds up under the skin which takes a long time to fully dissapate.

If you've just been using heroin then I imagine your withdrawls will be over in 7-10 days and anything still lingering past that point will be minor and you should feel yoyrself getring better every day after that.

I hope you enjoy your trip and remember, every time you go through withdrawls, it gets a little bit tougher every successive time and once you've been dependant, you get that way again after a shorter and shorter period of time with each successive period of use i.e. if it took you 2 months of continuous use to get dependent the first time round, after you've gotton clean you may find yourself becoming dependent again after only a week of continuous use... the next time after only a few days etc.etc. This really would be an ideal time to knock it on the head for good.