EADD-Heroin-Discussion-v-XXIII-New shit - same old problems

[steewith2ees]

Cheers for the excellent post Julie... especially the final caveat....

One thing is for sure, though: Just legalising drugs, by itself, will not magically make all the social problems go away at once. That's going to require a whole lot of effort .....

 

[PredatorVision]

I've decided to go back on with life line, after a certain website went down on tuesday my supply of Subutex has been disrupted, and i'm in a state of panic had my last I had left this morning and am getting on the street gear again now.. or whenever I meet the dealer tonight. three week waiting list for assesment, fuck this.

edit: the brown I got looks pretty good, tastes good (as good as it can do) and seems stronger than usual.. atleast that's some silver lining to this shit week, hopefully I can draw out 9 bags till monday.

 

[PredatorVision]

I'll stop my pissing and moaning now, I'm almost certainly going to be in withdrawal hell in time for work Monday morning, can anyone give me a good excuse for an illness with similar symptoms to withdrawal? Flu seems a bit obvious, and food poisoning too, does anyone have any examples they have used? I'm going to try and get sent home in the morning in the hope my post arrives, all I got today was a letter from the dentist.. bastards getting my hopes up. I get really paranoid about people thinking i'm skyving, atleast with opiates you have the advantage of being able to plan your illnesses to some degree as weird as that is.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

I'll stop my pissing and moaning now, I'm almost certainly going to be in withdrawal hell in time for work Monday morning, can anyone give me a good excuse for an illness with similar symptoms to withdrawal? Flu seems a bit obvious, and food poisoning too, does anyone have any examples they have used? I'm going to try and get sent home in the morning in the hope my post arrives, all I got today was a letter from the dentist.. bastards getting my hopes up. I get really paranoid about people thinking i'm skyving, atleast with opiates you have the advantage of being able to plan your illnesses to some degree as weird as that is.

Get yourself a shit load of generic cocodamol. Go as many chemists as you can today. CWE them all over the weekend and store doses in water bottles. You can keep topping up as required with no suspicion - even at work. It ain't ideal, but it will hold you until you can get more supplies. You'll probably still feel like shit (depending on tolerance), but at least you should be able to drag yourself into work and look like the hero for coming in even when ill. If you're lucky, they'll send you home for looking like shit. The codeine won't stop all the physical symptoms, but it should tackle the psychological 'feeling like death and want to crawl into a hole' amotivational syndrome. Every little helps...

 

[PredatorVision]

Get yourself a shit load of generic cocodamol. Go as many chemists as you can today. CWE them all over the weekend and store doses in water bottles. You can keep topping up as required with no suspicion - even at work. It ain't ideal, but it will hold you until you can get more supplies. You'll probably still feel like shit (depending on tolerance), but at least you should be able to drag yourself into work and look like the hero for coming in even when ill. If you're lucky, they'll send you home for looking like shit. The codeine won't stop all the physical symptoms, but it should tackle the psychological 'feeling like death and want to crawl into a hole' amotivational syndrome. Every little helps...

Thanks, I wrote a really long reply but then Bluelight said I was missing a security token and wiped it all. Oh well, I don't have enough money left to buy a load of cocodomol after losing most of my monthly drug budget on that site that has gone down and then re-ordering a load more subs somewhere else, which should arrive Monday or Tuesday. I'm very paranoid that nothing will come at all and by the time I get back on the books with Lifeline and get a script again (3 weeks wait) if I don't have anything/no money to buy anything i'm going to have to do my rattle and if i'm clean in three weeks the assessment would be pointless.

Would taking a massive amount of Imodium have a similar effect ?

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Thanks, I wrote a really long reply but then Bluelight said I was missing a security token and wiped it all. Oh well, I don't have enough money left to buy a load of cocodomol after losing most of my monthly drug budget on that site that has gone down and then re-ordering a load more subs somewhere else, which should arrive Monday or Tuesday. I'm very paranoid that nothing will come at all and by the time I get back on the books with Lifeline and get a script again (3 weeks wait) if I don't have anything/no money to buy anything i'm going to have to do my rattle and if i'm clean in three weeks the assessment would be pointless.

Would taking a massive amount of Imodium have a similar effect ?

Imodium would certainly help, but surely if you can afford a 'massive' amount you can also spare less than 2 quid for a box of 36 generic 7/500 cocodamol as well? The combination of the two could mean the difference between you dragging yourself out of bed on Monday morning, turning up for work and hopefully getting sent back home in time for the post, or lying in bed rattling your tits off, not being able to face even phoning in sick to give a bullshit excuse and getting a black mark on your sickness record. It's always best to turn up if you can.

 

[benson7]

I've decided to go back on with life line, after a certain website went down on tuesday

Damn, I now understand which website you mean.

 

[Gtjfkuo]

With things so shit recently and my stress and anxiety at an all time high since I relapsed 4 years ago, I have had (to the detriment of the forum due to my whingy whiney outbursts - during what to someone currently so pathetically incapable of handling anything) an intolerable couple of months which has been addressed of course by returning to regular heroin use.

Despite the majority of it being the the mediocre stepped on to fuck shot robber dust, I have managed to locate an old acquaintance who is selling the real deal at reassuringly expensive (i.e. back to pre - 2010 price) bona - fide, nice and chunky off the block.

With this mornings dreaded commitments addressed, which without going into details here was an appointment I have been so worried about I have spent the last week either using the genuine, albeit poor quality heroin that is easiest for me to source or shots of volumetrically dosed, vodka dissolved, Flubromazepam or Clonazolam (or both) I'm finally home enjoying the half gram of lovely chunky medium brown heroin I had kept since coming across it at the weekend.

So, as ll advised as this particular drug use is, I can only apologise for stating that while not exactly on cloud 9, I am now enjoying a plate after cranking the first 2 bags (I paid 40 quid for what are supposed to be 3 0.2 efforts and a white). Could be the last. Either way, rehab is now only 3 weeks away and I am done apologising to everyone for who I am and what I dio.

Heroin is a bad drug to develop a taste for it, but if you unfortunate enough to posses such a taste this is lovely. Long live the drug which brings joy to those who deserve it and short live stupid cunts like me who get greedy without doing anything proactive about it.

It is beyond a doubt the most addicting drug along with nicotine and alcohol and it is a rare thing to see people use it 'on occasion' but It is possible, myself having still managed to use it for 2 years as part of the weekend ritual of killing off the hangovers from the use of dance drugs on a Friday / Saturday night, so it can be done. It was more than inevitable that the wheels came off regarding my own use, as I am weak and greedy and its that same weakness and greed that has me glowing extremely pleasantly at this moment.

Long live heroin! And a big fuck you to our stupid and backwards society that makes the use and dependence on a drug, that is already highly addictive and its use life threatening (in both the long a short term) infinitely more dangerous than it already is by legislating against anything that may make the product safe (which it is on the whole, unless too much is taken and the user goes into respiratory arrest, which would be easy to avoid, hundreds of doses of diamorphine are administered every day sub - cutaneously and intra - venously with no problems) and instantly provide a culture whee users can engage with treatment the moment they identify that things may be getting of hand.

If we did live in the utopia of drug legalisation and the safest possible preparations of the 'classics' were to become commercially available for recreational use, then it is unlikely that among the small increase in young people who would be tempted to experiment with drugs (most probably cannabis or Ecstasy or something along those line) - the main reason stopping us from legalisation... would be extremely unlikely to be tempted to try heroin

(it would create a country of zombies if folk could get hold of such items easily, as the laws currently protect young people from coming into contact with drugs by threatening them with prosecution if they do, as the application of the law would create a climate where billions of pounds would be made by criminals selling clandestine, inconsistent and often dangerous drugs synthesised with no satiety or quality control.)

Anyway, I'm high, I needed to vent, I'm having one more dig after which I may have to seriously consider going our separate ways, as I will be in detox in about 3 weeks and need to get re - stabilised on my meth pronto and fuck off the on top use, and really when all is said and done, the drug itself.

Good to see you back around Blondin - goes without saying you probably have access to good kit. That aside I hope yo and yours are all well.

wrong opiates are evil and have no benefits except destroying lives ban them all and watch the whole problem magically disappear in 2 weeks.

 

[PredatorVision]

wrong opiates are evil and have no benefits except destroying lives ban them all and watch the whole problem magically disappear in 2 weeks.

How would "banning them all" make the problem go away in two weeks? If you could make them all magically disappear then maybe the problem with addiction would go away in a couple of weeks, but what about the people with terminal illnesses and cancer that use them to control pain? I think you're an idiot.

 

[BecomingJulie]

wrong opiates are evil and have no benefits except destroying lives ban them all and watch the whole problem magically disappear in 2 weeks.

They already are banned. The problems did not disappear.

As pointed out above, there are three levels of problems associated with opiates -- two of which are ban-related. Try again.

 

[Gtjfkuo]

Biggest sign of addiction.. Defending the most destructive drug in the world even though its wrecked their lives how sad

 

[BecomingJulie]

Did you even read what I posted above?

Heroin is a hormone mimick, about the least intrinsically toxic class of drug. Every negative effect associated with it, actually stems frmpom either its illegality or the taboo surrounding it.

 

[Gtjfkuo]

Sure pal sure

 

[steewith2ees]

Did you even read what I posted above?

Heroin is a hormone mimick, about the least intrinsically toxic class of drug. Every negative effect associated with it, actually stems frmpom either its illegality or the taboo surrounding it.

This. Perfect.

Sure pal sure

You need to broaden your gaze pal before trying to pass your word and assessment of this far from black and white issue as final. Nobody is disputing the damage the current situation causes to individuals and communities but I would refrain from making any further posts on the issue unless you have something constructive to add. No one in their right mind would recommend making a habit of using street heroin but we are a tolerant community - towards both those that have both made ill informed choices in their lives and narrow minded bigots who have put the time and effort in order to join a website just for the purpose of berating folk who know the dynamics and suffer the consequences of the life and strife that such dependencies cause

 

[Kronos]

R.E Fent - It is a living nightmare. I had a breif fling with it years back and shoulda learned from then..but you guys know how it is we have some incredible rose tinted glasses.
Few months ago (6? 7 idk) got back into it, with carfent added in the mix. Living torture, after the first week or 2 of loving it i honestly only enjoyed it for an hour, by the end of hour 2 i'd be uncomfortable and twitching and got worse and worse, so i'd end up having another dig again and again all the fucking time, waking up rattling multiple times a night (didnt sleep a night through for months) and tolerance ever increasing (cost effective.... haha the fuck was i thinking)

Anyways round April thought enough was enough, wasnt taking benzos enough to have a serious WD but i was on such high doses of fent/car you'd think it was dicksizing. It isnt its the sad reality of the stupidity of where this shit takes you too, no ceiling tolerance + compulsive redosing is just a bad mix. Anyways i didnt have a bad benzo habit so i thought fuck it, i've done loads of rattles in my time i'll just 'man it out'...

Fuck never done a rattle like it. Full on hallucinations (which i thought were from the benzos but other have reported similar from carfent WDs) and in the end it was so bad i just shut down mentally, fucking horrible i wont go into the details, but a friend knew the score and checked up on me, i was semi conscious but hadn't drank anything for a week (just came back up with bile), so went to hosp and they stuck some fluids in me arm and that broke the back of the rattle..
IIRC the Fent rattle years back was over in a week, short and intense but manageable. This one was a week acute WD, then hospital for liquid after which i could slowly start to build myself up again, no food & water you can imagine how weak i was

Dunno if it was a week of no food water, or PAWS or what but after I got over the worse after another week i could get about (but was still weak af, improved each week) but i constantly felt in pain, uncomfortable, leg bones on fire etc, like a meth rattle kinda. I fucking tried, went to NA and gave it a good go but it not for me, white knuckled it for a month then started using heroin as a pain reliever (and as a addict but i told myself it was just for pain relief ).
Quit the NA shite and use gradually spiralled (heroin NEVER fent), so went for a script so i could try get on with my life & feel normal

Had to wait a few weeks to get on a script (fucks up with that? those few weeks were fucking torture i didnt want to be doing gear at all anymore thats why i asked for one so i wouldnt have to go through that shite n life but ahh wel im complaining about them that are helping me ungrateful bastard lol)

So back on a meth script, dose is close but not quite there. trying to keep me use down had nowt for a week then some IV coke and IV crystal today, last time i had H was a week ago and the c/c is all gone but fuck do i crave H badly wasnt expecting what i had today but it was as much to take my mind of brown than anything else (well maybe a close 2nd to the rush lol)

But i know what i need for the future, and how to get out of this shite and (hopefully) soon i'll be gone, a man can dream ey, but i know what kept me clean them years, i know why i relapsed (moved hometown) and i know what i want out of life so im sick of putting shit off i wanna just do it!

I doubt anycunt gives a fuck or remembers me name but this is a simplified version where i'm at & been recently, and i'm not far off them fuckin crossroads again lol

Drugs and waffle aside, please please please do not try fent, if you get addicted its game over in the worst way possible. I dunno how i'm still alive as a nurse friend told me fent has a resp desp effect that doesnt scale with tolerance, but the hell of being addicted to them drugs, wrecking every cunting vein in my body high at a loved ones funeral which il never forgive myself for... at least if it was heroin i could do some and be alright for a bit but that fuckin shame as your nashing off to the toilets every hour at the wake... not near the worst iv done but that seems to hit home more than most else.. maybe cause me nana was the sweetest most innocent welsh woman you could imagine, i loved her to bits and she did me but she would be disgusted with me if she knew the reality. Maybe i just want to say goodbye proper like she deserves, i owe alot of people that i'm quite young and i shouldnt have a list this long of dead friends, a girl i loved hanging herself in jail, and all the others I let down

Sorry depressing shit over

Hope you enjoy my wall of shite, sorry guys to fire this at you but nobody IRL knows what its like, noone close to me even thinks i'm what i am even though im wearing a fuckin jacket in this weather to hide my arms. A few mates who dont use but do know alot more about me but still love me, but theres only so honest you can be cause they cant help and it'd only hurt but anyways.. this is more than drugged up waffle (though it is alot of that) i really needed to vent so thanks guys.

& any advice about whether a higher meth dose helps with cravings? On 40ml atm wanted to start as low as possible but if i'm fiending/using on top whats the fuckin point may aswel get the dose right if thatd help?

and to you still fighting its fucking worth the pain, i lived that clean life for a few years and i fucking loved it but was stupid enough to fuck it up (crazy pussy), respect to anyone out there who is doing what good they can in these bad situations and respect to anycunt who uses but promotes HR aswel. This community used to be amazing and i see a few names I recognise love to you all no matter what situation

TL;DR Fent is a nightmare, rattles are worse than you can imagine (tho fent alones nowhere near as bad as precip from naltrexone), but the addiction itself is torture fuck the rattle. Also carfent could possibly induce psychosis or at least intense hallucinations when WDing (only evidence i have for this is my exp which could be from benzos, but others have experienced the same). Also it mighta killed me through dehydration as i couldnt drink shit (even the few that stayed down came back up in 5 with stomach lining) and iv had drug induced psychosis before so when i started tripping to fuck i just shut down cause i'm never going there again

Super TL;DR - Fent ends in 1 of 3 ways. You v lucky, enjoy it and never try it again. 2. It kills you 3. You become addicted and it wrecks your life, probably killing you in the bargin, but there is a secret 4) flush the shite and roll a bosshead, smoke and enjoy

If you read this far your a fucking hero and message Stee for medals, he said thats fine and he got some made
Disclaimer: I made that up... or did i? Message Ste to find out
Peace

 

[Kronos]

Sorry for the essay, part much needed venting, part my exp with fent (any q's dont hesitate to ask i left alot out) and part drugged up waffle my second favorite type (After potato)

Also worth noting - After the deaths Police cracked right down on the UK fent sellers, after idiots started trying to do an america and bash gear with it. Fair few deaths in the paper, and alot more that weren't reported apparently (the guinea pigs they were testing the shite on), after which bull busted the UK fent sellers on DNM's and the only UK lab i've heard of got busted

tho the much better option would be legalisation & regulation so none of this shit would be a fucking problem! Maybe one day

Off to bed guys peace stay safe & strong probably will have forgot i wrote this by morning necked so many blues to try sleep, hope it makes sense ha
Could murder a joint... or a bag but nah got nothing except blues and gonna not buy no more at all soldier on.. IV coke was starting to become a habit n'all! Dangerous habit though so quit while im ahead fuck subbing one with another.
Fuck.. waffling again night dickheads love y'all

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Cause we remember you Kronos, sorry to hear you've had such a bad time. Did all this happen while you were away from BL? Can't believe you went through the torture of fent turkey then went back on the gear. Why didn't you just replace the fent with heroin in the first place? As for the meth, IME you'd need to be on at least 70ml/day. I reckon you need to push for an increase otherwise you'll just keep using on top, which kinda defeats the object Anyway, good to see you again and hang in there mate!

 

[Kronos]

Naah iv been away from bl for a few years clean for most of it, lived someone elses version of a life but i enjoyed it to a point, got some qualifications n that & working with vulnerable folk it was a nice life, positive like but i fucked off back to gods own country for various reasons.
Started using since late last year soon after i moved back, quickly going from dabbling to back on it full time in a month you know how it is, then maybe dec? started on the fent properly, got access to carfent (tested) a month or 2 after that and that fast forwards the downward spiral x1000

Aye the rattle was torture, but i knew it would be, thought i could 'man it out' which i did to a point i'm 'good' at that acute part.. but realising that i'm still stuck in the same situation in the same place i need to escape whilst feeling that physical pain and the rest of it, realising i can't stay clean like this was a good reality check.

Was out me tree last night and having a little pity party, my bad i'm too tired now to even read what i wrote ha.
I know that i'm getting out of this habit/city/life one way or another.. and i'm gonna make sure its the right way iv done it before but this time i'm not looking back

Didn't sleep at all last night; shite canadian drugs but i'll make up for that tonight, gonna be one of them kips almost as good as a high

Cheers mate i'll get me meth sorted that should help, though using much less than i was or have been recently and no fucking fent since the rattle or ever again, other day was tempted to scope it 'out of interest' and had started to search before i realised what i was doing wouldnt'a bought any but still why even look at the prices.
Though the meth dose i'm on now holds me just about, its more the rush from injecting i crave, would raising the dose help with this? I'm a needle fiend i love that rush lets go back in time and get them injectable methadone amps then i'll be a saint

Oh and why didnt i switch from fent to heroin? Not a chance mate meth wouldnt hold me a big shot of top gear wouldnt touch the sides and the car/fent broke through subbys, that evil shite ruined everything i loved whilst making me its slave

My lesson for today(last night)- Dont try and write quick warnings on cmeth or you'll spew mountains of garbage, on the whole life aint too bad! I got a lot of things i love and alot of things to change but its all doable

Hows tricks with FUBAR and the rest of the crew? The couple of times iv popped in its been like a ghost town in EADD but seems more lively atm which is good to see

 

[Luv^¥Π]

Biggest sign of addiction.. Defending the most destructive drug in the world even though its wrecked their lives how sad

They will always defend it to their grave... they are deluded and their is no point in arguing with a drug user because it wont be logical or fair lol (no offense)

 

[MONSTA!!]

Day 5 of a white knuckle rattle. I've really had enough, lost a couple of finger due to a bad shot a year ago and still kept using, even whilst in hospital. Been made redundant and my new job is out of the city center so can't score during the day, seems like the time to quit. Start the new job in about 3 weeks so should be over the worst by the time I start.

Hope everyone is well! Don't know how anyone manages to hold down a habit without a script!