stupidest thing I ever did was when I was 17 and my dad wouldn't give me mad dog 20/20 anymore, all that summer he and I would get nicely buzzed and it felt like being on opiates back then when my tolerance was zero. I to this day still bang my head when I look back at the loooong mental wd suffering from craving alcohol, I did something so dumb, I started taking sominol and compoz sleeping pills over the counter. One night I took 6 of them and I felt so awful when I woke next day that I never ever did that again, yet here all this time my dad had two prescription bottles of ativan on his wardrobe in his room which my stepmom slept in too(back when I lived there).
I once when they were gone thought(I wonder if I should try one of dads ativan) DUH! stupid me afraid to try new things I missed and chickened out on something that could have erased my misery from alcohol wd and made me feel good too. However in 89 my dad had major health problems suddenly and wound up in a wheelchair rest of his life and in late fall of 89 I was sitting in my room so bored and so dying for some booze that suddenly I thought, damn, that ativan I bet my stepmom took those bottles and put em somewhere. I was alone while she was visiting dad at hospital, I ran into their room and wow there the two bottles were at the bottom of two grocery bags of his stuff he wouldn't be using much anymore. I instantly took one(dont remember the milligram just the A shaped pill) then I quickly took the bottle of ones he cut in half since he was trying to cut down on them, and I also emptied all the almost full bottle of whole pills into a nice hiding spot in my room amongst my electronic parts drawers. I felt wonderful for a week until I did something so dumb one day when my stepmom woke me up to do chores etc around the apt, I got dressed and when she went to the can I just opened my little hiding spot and took a pinch of who knows how many cut in halves and quickly put em in my mouth and shut my hiding spot just in time to swallow em and was standing in the living room when she came outta the can. All I remember is we were moving the furniture around in the living room so my dad could manage in our small apt in his wheelchair when he would be coming home, suddenly I was so on cloud nine that I suddenly started laughing like you do sometimes on weed, my stepmom instantly said "have you been drinking!? you found something dad hid long ago didn't you? I said no I'm just in a funny mood today and was laughing so hard at this vw bug parked out front and tried so hard to divert my sillyness to that.
She was a religious fucking freak, I hated her so much for that part, she suddenly said "your eyes look funny, god told me you took something what are you on? she screamed at me like a fucking interrogator and I wanted to kill her when she would do that. Well my high was ruined as she noticed the bottles of ativan empty, where is the ativan you took? you've been sleeping alot lately, I said yea and I dont crave alcohol anymore, please calm down, I took dads ativan as prescribed and it helps me with depression, my nervous problem and alcohol craving. Fuck it didn't work she would not calm down and forced me into my room and started going through my stuff, she said either you tell me right now where they are or I'll call the ambulance or police. Fuck I thought as I opened my drawer of all those goodies and she flushed em all down the toilet and I said NO!!, I'm going to fell horrible, I heard you can't just quit this stuff.
How long you been taking em, tell me now!, I told the truth and said a little over a week but today I took a small pinch of maybe 6 or 7 of those cut in half ones he had and she called the emergency room and all they did was tell her to make me drink lots of water and if I start going into a seizure or acting strange to bring me in. Shit I went through weeks of horrible wd's worse than alcohol even, I'll never forget those racing thoughts and depression like I never felt before, No appetite and no interest in even doing anything.
I bet if I had not taken too many that day, I could have had all those pills to myself but when I ran out I would be so dependent on them that I could have or would have had real bad wd's and maybe I would have been taken by her to the er and given a dose and a follow up with a doctor and maybe I would have been put on them and it would have been good, even if my stepmom hid them and only gave me what I was prescribed daily.
I still think about the dumbest thing I ever did to stave off wd when I ran outta vicodin a few years ago was open up a bottle of md 20/20 grape wine and start drinking it, hence my alcohol tolerance was way down since I didn't drink for 2 years since I got into opiates, I started feeling the edge taken off after only one drink but stupid me, I kept drinking and wound up getting nothing done that day and drank half or more of the bottle and felt like dying.
Luckily next day my next order of vikes came and I rushed to the door way before my elderly mom could. Instant relief, thank god my hangover was gone by then too.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
