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Does Anything Feel BETTER Than Your Favorite Opiate? (Addicts Only)

I hear ya

I broke down when i read your post. I have a 2 year old daughter and one on the way, i promised i would never bring any drug related shit into their lives...and yet the grip heroin has on me keeps pulling me away. I just keep trying and trying to stop...cos i know i will lose her in months/years if i cant stop...The most beautiful and precious thing i had a part in making and yet the quiet desperation for another shot keeps eating away, and then i fall
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UOTE=shartito;14154342]I thought about this for a while. It’s a very intriguing question.

Having my 1 year old daughter look at me, and love me, and smile at me, and crawl on me and slobber on me, and think I’m perfect and infallible.

Having my five year old son sit on my lap while we watch a movie together and fall asleep on my lap.

That is honestly the only thing that feels better than opiates. And is the reason I want to quit before I lose complete control (which I’m getting close to...) So my children never find out what a fuck-up their dad is.[/QUOTE]
 
Rjhar said:
I broke down when i read your post. I have a 2 year old daughter and one on the way, i promised i would never bring any drug related shit into their lives...and yet the grip heroin has on me keeps pulling me away. I just keep trying and trying to stop...cos i know i will lose her in months/years if i cant stop...The most beautiful and precious thing i had a part in making and yet the quiet desperation for another shot keeps eating away, and then i fall
..
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Sucks doesn't it? Fucking drugs....

I love those children more than anything. I would take a bullet for them. And that is not exaggeration nor bluster. I would give my life for them without a second thought, without a moment's hesitation.

Yet, with all of that love... I can't shake the opiates... Makes me feel so weak. I've been much more serious the last few months about quitting. Have gone through WD's more times than I want to count... each WD, of course, being the "last" one.

I made it 2 weeks one time. Made it 4 days this last time, I'm now back on Day 2 - At least this time I've taken additional steps... I basically wiped my phone of all contact info for about 25% of my contact list.. all the contacts who were in any way related to drugs, directly or indirectly, have now disappeared from my phone.

One day it will stick. One day I will be sober, and be the father they need. God I fucking love those kids.

Good luck to you too Rjhar. I firmly believe that when we have motivation like that in our lives, we will make the right decisions and go down the right path when we truly want to. It just takes time, persistence, and the ability to not hate yourself when you fail.
 
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I can relate to what you are saying. I believe that we all try to be the best we can, we try everything and all we want is to be able to be free and ensure we’ll be near to our children. Some of us would do just about anything to keep the drugs out but that can be difficult.

IMHO, nobody that has not gone through life with opiates, the challenges, etc would understand the fear we have of losing our best and only treasure. Because despite of our values and love we can be weak at times and risk being labeled, to say the least.
 
never had a daily habit for more than a few months, not on any currently, hopefully i qf...

dmt freebase smoked, and pretty much anything dissociatives.
 
^ That's great for you. Some people prefer other drugs, very few I know.
 
Beowulf10 said:
Adrenaline. Only thing I like better other than that nothing compares.
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What may be a blessing for some, it's not so good for others. My point is that I would have loved to stay on with my adrenaline rush, but I found out something that worked better for me and didn't want to let it go for a long time.

By the way, welcome to Bluelight! :)
 
BeachBum4u said:
Is this a first hand experience you speak of? If so, would we recognize who it was with? I got to experience something close to this many years ago and it was totally intoxicating. Truly some of the most emotionally satisfying times of my life.
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I regret that I unwittingly abandoned this thread immediately after posting, and here I am, a year later, rediscovering it. Haha
But (1.) yes, firsthand; (2.) likely not. I did a ton of traveling & performing shows throughout the majority of my adult life thus far; but the probability of you having heard of us is slim. We had (*have?) a rather small but active cult following locally & in surrounding states, but nothing national. My relationship to drugs was closely related to the high I got (& still get) from those experiences.
 
I have gone from Heroin to Bupe and man is it depressing I miss the high that I got from heroin and all Bupe does is keep me level. Part of me wishes that I went on Methadone instead as at least you get a high from that.
 
freesolo123 said:
I have gone from Heroin to Bupe and man is it depressing I miss the high that I got from heroin and all Bupe does is keep me level. Part of me wishes that I went on Methadone instead as at least you get a high from that.
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It is depressing but daily methadone maintence sucks imho. Can't shit for weeks, fall asleep driving and have to use way too much to break through.

Really good sex with someone you love or a massive adrenaline rush are the best replacements I have found for H. It is really hard to beat though
 
That 'aha-effect' you get when you finally understand something complex you thougt about some time. Also Adrenaline and the feeling to be awake like one has after a great trip.
 
Every dissociative but DXM, weed, and GHB.

I'm the only junkie I know who has always thought opiates were "meh." I just wanted to relax and benzos and booze suck whereas opiates are enjoyable.
 
I think busting a nut for the first time with a new girl that you really fucking like/love is better. Just the initial feeling of naughtiness that you're doing something like that for the first time with someone just adds to that rush. Especially when you're not supposed to be doing anything with that girl at all.

The first nut I ever busted with any girl was in my first inpatient rehab, which was coed. It was such a risky thing to do and that just added to the whole peak experience
 
I could say something like "loving and being loved" or "pride in a job well-done" and wouldn't be lying, but well.... Instead, I'll say "no, nothing feels better" but add a caveat -- nothing feels better IF the context or situation is right.

Some of those contexts can involve other drugs. No stimulant on its own feels better than a good opiate and plentiful opiates are a must-have to even consider serious stims... But the 12-24 hour experience of reaching serious amphetamine euphoria, allowing yourself to go into moderate withdrawals (reduced by the amps anyways), taking the time to come down a bit with a couple of drinks and a mild benzo, and then taking a solid opiate dose to straighten yourself out -- that feels better than just doing a ton of opiates alone IMO. Other people may say "after the disassociatives wear off, " or "right after hitting the crack pipe," or "with heavy antihistamines in the shot," or "after a night on Ecstasy," or whatever.

Some of the contexts can be drug-free. It's a cliche, but any long-term addict will probably experience the unparalleled euphoria that results when you actually manage to get money, get drugs, get to use them, and even get high... after a day (or more) of bleak sick despair, thinking you would like to just curl up and die if only you could sit still. Obviously, nothing beats that intense relief... and philosophers have said we only know happiness in the release of negative stimuli, not the presence of positive ones.. However, t the opiates can also be enhanced by more mundane things, like getting high when you're visiting a new place (geographically not psychically) or after some kind of stressful event from daily living is finally over.
 
Nah... mot really.

If we talkin poly use maybe different story and will stay away from that in convos mostly
but for a single substance use? best imo/e hands down
 
NOTHING quite like it when it's good ; but then again that's comparing apples to oranges.

It's been a few years since I've last used 'addictively' ; at that time it seemed like some kinda vital necessity. It was basically a maladaptive coping mechanism. I actually get MORE pleasure out of it now because my tolerance is obviously lower as is the frequency of use, so it has a much greater effect on me. I don't see it as THE greatest pleasure that life has to offer anymore either, however.

I wouldn't enjoy going entirely abstinent but if my partner gave me a total ultimatum then I'd rather be with him. No drug has ever made me as happy as loving someone. A large part of what was driving my over - use was loneliness
 
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