The opiates were my downfall and where massive problems arose. Before I got into using fentanyl, I was prescribed 90 Alpraz Bars a month + 30 10mg Diazepam from my psychiatrist, and the things I did underneath the influence of that many benzo’s are what to point to me saying that this is the ones I wish I never would’ve caved into using. I was a selfish, rude bar-tard for a year, crashing my car twice, a DUI, lying to my psychiatrist to get another refill, telling my partner at the time + mother the most selfish things, and causing so much stress in other’s life. If anything, opiates showed me a different side of things, put me through the ringer and added a few more tools to my toolbox in recovery. Even beyond 24 OD’s, and stealing money from loved ones to support my habit, I justified my benzo use since I was prescribed and coming off of those were pure delirious hell for 2 weeks that I will never forget.