Do you ever feel like drugs and/or alcohol have ruined your life?

[chief ten beers]

I have known for some time now that they have had a bad effect on my life, but now at my lowest point ever, I know drugs and alcohol have almost ruined me forever. I say almost because it's not over yet, but I can see the the lower level from where I am and I don't want to go there. The lower level would be homelessness with no income which is a possibility in my current state of mind and circumstance. Booze was bad for me, it really messed me up, but Oxycodone is the one giving me the finishing punch. You can function on them for a long time at a high level but once that pink cloud fades and you coming crashing down to earth, the reality crash can be devastating. I've never had a substances have such a bad effect on my life than oxy's, but they are all bad after a while. I try to think about what my life would have been like if I hadn't taken such a liking to altering my consciousness, the old adage comes to mind, if I only knew then what I know now. Now I'm alone and broken, my spirits are at an all time low. I had to break out my old nemesis tonight, alcohol, to infuse my low spirits. Since I've been on the oxy's I've barely had a drink, it took away that desire. But now that I'm kicking them, or trying to, my spirits are at an all time low and I need something. Kicking this shit is the worst feeling I've ever had to experience, lost interest in everything because of that shit. Thanks for letting me vent, just needed to get it out. Anyone else here feel ruined because of substances that can relate?

 

[ConstanceG]

I know it has ruined mine. Well...my choices of course. However...yes. "They" say there is a comeback for people like us.
We will see.

 

[Ds]

Yes, i can agree with you there. I crossed that imignary line a while back, i knew i had a problem with drugs so i kept doing, i would do anything and everything to keep my bag full. Did some things that i am not proud at doing just for that 1more.
I knew i was an addict because i love drugs, so it wasnt until i stopped drugs and started drinking 24/7 when my shit spun downward, i really liked the way booze would cover up my feelings,more so then drugs. I could make very poor choices while under the influence of alcohol then anything before, it would lower my pride so id be able to go out and fly a sign and pan handle for $ to get the next drink.

Bad things happen to me when I drink or do drugs, some family members of mine take pills and shit and they dont understand why when i take a pill, or have a glass of wine, I'm out until 4am in mom/dads car,dopeman gave me some so he could use their car,i didnt care. Then i walk back home 15ish miles and tell them someone stole the car, i was real sick..

Wasn't until I got off the shit that my life started getting somewhat manageable.

 

[Mafioso]

Yeah poly drug abuse has definitely diminished the quality of my life. I have lost friends, lost the trust of family members, and let go of jobs and opportunities because of my drug use. It definitely hasn't helped improve my life in any way.

I'm hesitant to say it ruined my life because I am still living, still have some friends and am rebuilding trust with family members. In some ways I'm glad I have something like heavy drug use to explain away some of my behavior. Some people just fuck up their lives for no apparent reason other than bad choices or something like uncontrolled anger.

It's definitely given me perspective and in some way a newfound respect and appreciation for life and being alive. Even if I never catch up to my peers I can still be happy and enjoy my life, and that is what I believe is truly important in life now.

 

[Erikmen]

It has ruined my life in various occasions, but I trust I'm reconstructing. And paving the way for new people, new experiences, and life as is should have been from the beginning.

 

[Ne0]

WEll I have to think about it was addicted to opioids, but there was lots of otehr issues still is, if these was figured out before and some fix/help for them, I might not fall in to opioid addiction.Can't entirely blame on drugs, but yes after starting to use opioids first year was great, second year was not so good, but really after quit I realized how shit have all to turn. Now second time with opioids to quit, and Im considering suicide, its not drugs really, but I don't feel right to feel in this world, I'm not fit to this world you know.

 

[Erikmen]

^ This is the addiction speaking. That's what it does to us. With time we can adapt to being sober, it may be just like living life without colors, but stii there will be joyful moments and peace of mind. You just need to be patient and do what you have to do. Start over, things can be okay.

 

[Ne0]

^ This is the addiction speaking. That's what it does to us. With time we can adapt to being sober, it may be just like living life without colors, but stii there will be joyful moments and peace of mind. You just need to be patient and do what you have to do. Start over, things can be okay.

I mean before I started using opioids was considering suicide, I felt too weak and had so low esteem. I decided to start everyday because I was very close making suicide, thought that would be better idea. I know there is now lots of addiction mind too, but still its not just the addiction. Drugs gave my lots of self-esteem at first I mean, still do but not opioids.

 

[theMerovingian]

I would like to say yes but I think that would be easy and short sighted on my part. To blame the deteoriation of my life over the last few years just on drug usage would be too comforting and easy. When it was me as an individual who suffered from being too shy, socially awkward from time to time and what I believe to be bouts of depression and anxiety that led me to become dependent on certain activities which was covering up those symptons but which only exacerbated them in the long run.
Drugs set me back a bit in life but hey it was my choice and my own fault.

No point blaming or passing the blame on others. I have accepted what I have done but at this very moment I have clarity and focus and know what I want.

 

[Tikhil]

Drug use has caused me a few troubles (generally as a result of the legal status of substances) but I can honestly say that the've probably helped more then hurt. Psychs woke me up from drifting through life, and opioids gave me the energy and motivation to finish school at my lowest point. Kicking sucked for sure, but it was a better outcome then allowing my depression to cost me my education. Its easy for me to think i'd have accomplished more if id never used, but if im honest thats false. Self medication enabled me to move foward many times where my own challenges tried holding me back.

 

[Lost_Vet]

I have known for some time now that they have had a bad effect on my life, but now at my lowest point ever, I know drugs and alcohol have almost ruined me forever. I say almost because it's not over yet, but I can see the the lower level from where I am and I don't want to go there. The lower level would be homelessness with no income which is a possibility in my current state of mind and circumstance. Booze was bad for me, it really messed me up, but Oxycodone is the one giving me the finishing punch. You can function on them for a long time at a high level but once that pink cloud fades and you coming crashing down to earth, the reality crash can be devastating. I've never had a substances have such a bad effect on my life than oxy's, but they are all bad after a while. I try to think about what my life would have been like if I hadn't taken such a liking to altering my consciousness, the old adage comes to mind, if I only knew then what I know now. Now I'm alone and broken, my spirits are at an all time low. I had to break out my old nemesis tonight, alcohol, to infuse my low spirits. Since I've been on the oxy's I've barely had a drink, it took away that desire. But now that I'm kicking them, or trying to, my spirits are at an all time low and I need something. Kicking this shit is the worst feeling I've ever had to experience, lost interest in everything because of that shit. Thanks for letting me vent, just needed to get it out.

Anyone else here feel ruined because of substances that can relate?

Every day! But you find out it really hasn't for the people who care about you. They haven't left you. They are right there waiting. Good luck man. I'm worried for you.

 

[Erikmen]

Drug use has caused me a few troubles (generally as a result of the legal status of substances) but I can honestly say that the've probably helped more then hurt. Psychs woke me up from drifting through life, and opioids gave me the energy and motivation to finish school at my lowest point. Kicking sucked for sure, but it was a better outcome then allowing my depression to cost me my education. Its easy for me to think i'd have accomplished more if id never used, but if im honest thats false. Self medication enabled me to move foward many times where my own challenges tried holding me back.

I can relate to what you are saying. I had always thought that Opiates have enabled me to work endless hours, to be here for my family, study, travel. It was as if my life depended on it, and maybe it did for some time but at the end this life was turning to a nightmare, taking its toll. As you age, the levels of tolerance put you in a daily risky. I couldn't go on like that. I could only sleep if I was high, same for eating or simply watching TV. In decades it became dangerous and I was not living but just existing, being a slave of something that was doing anything for me anymore. I realized you can only do this for a certain amount of time, after that it consumes yourself totally and quitting is the only way out.

 

[nuttynutskin]

Every day.

 

[Lost_Vet]

I can relate to what you are saying. I had always thought that Opiates have enabled me to work endless hours, to be here for my family, study, travel. It was as if my life depended on it, and maybe it did for some time but at the end this life was turning to a nightmare, taking its toll. As you age, the levels of tolerance put you in a daily risky. I couldn't go on like that. I could only sleep if I was high, same for eating or simply watching TV. In decades it became dangerous and I was not living but just existing, being a slave of something that was doing anything for me anymore. I realized you can only do this for a certain amount of time, after that it consumes yourself totally and quitting is the only way out.

Sounds like my adult life story. My life revolved around my next set of refills. If they were a day late, I was a lunatic. In the end, I was an old guy who slept a lot. And I was okay with that. I missed out on so much in my life that I can't get back. Now I'm an old guy who can't sleep, trying to get the PM people to return my calls. Bunch of f******* nazis!

LV

 

[Researchers]

I have spent from 16- my mid 20s using drugs constantly after 21 I thought it was better I switch to booze. Well at 25 I had three duis spent six months in jail, owe over 15k in fines still Lost liscence for 12 years been to about five rehabs. I finally took Antabuse four years ago and quit drinking

Now because of Medical issues I’m on massive amounts of pain pills I get prescribed xanax and Ritalin on top of it all
Just don’t give up

 

[Lost_Vet]

I mean before I started using opioids was considering suicide, I felt too weak and had so low esteem. I decided to start everyday because I was very close making suicide, thought that would be better idea. I know there is now lots of addiction mind too, but still its not just the addiction. Drugs gave my lots of self-esteem at first I mean, still do but not opioids.

Ne0,

In the long run, drugs don't make you more of a man or anything good in life. You have to figure that out for yourself. In my case, I didn't start thinking about suicide until I started using drugs.

 

[Researchers]

I’m sure my abuse contra little to my neurological issues like seizures and a neuromuscular Movement disorder bc I guarantee I did some damage

 

[JessFR]

Yes, but it was pretty seriously fucked up to start with.

It's a bit complicated, before opioids ruined my life they helped me cope to the point that it helped me repair my life. It often feels like it gave me so much only to take it all away with interest.

That's the metaphor for how I think of hardcore drugs, emotions on credit. You can have the emotion you want now, but eventually you gotta pay it back with interest. The longer you take the more the interest. The more you take the more to be repaid.

 

[Ne0]

Ne0,

In the long run, drugs don't make you more of a man or anything good in life. You have to figure that out for yourself. In my case, I didn't start thinking about suicide until I started using drugs.

I know that, thats why today was my last time with amphetamines, just ok last dose. Been too good run, but in some point it has to stop. BTW used amphetamines to take of opioid WD's, it was great for that, but yes in the long run w it will make my life miserable, I'm done with it. I just need one week stash of pregabalin and I would be ready for sober life. Too hard to come by. I used my script in 3 days, because it didn't seem to work because I was awake for two day from amphetamine, got some crazy psychotic thoughts, like someone is after me. Well after good sleep it was gone and I was ready some more speed, more speed, yes its too good really. It's fucked up how good you can feel under on it.

 

[JessFR]

Ne0,

In the long run, drugs don't make you more of a man or anything good in life. You have to figure that out for yourself. In my case, I didn't start thinking about suicide until I started using drugs.

This is an interesting point of discussion. And it's why I don't simply state that it's NEVER a good idea to try heroin or other opioids even after all the destruction they have brought to my life. And also part of why I don't think about wishing I'd never started using them.

Some people had lives so terrible before starting opioids that if they hadn't found opioids as a coping mechanism they might have killed themselves. And I count myself as potentially one of those people. Obviously in the long run they often wind up taking even more than they brought. But the point is, the situation isn't a simple one. It's not black and white.

This is not to say I think heroin use is a good thing. What I'm saying is I think there are some situations where people are in so much emotional agony that they might have killed themselves if they hadn't found a coping mechanism. There's no way to know how things might have turned out had they not started using drugs. At the very least, the situation isn't a simple one.

Though it's probably a moot point to make on my part. Most people in such a situation don't so much want to die, as they are willing to die and would prefer to die than continue living in so much pain. And so will wind up trying drugs, and especially opioids, no matter how bad the potential consequences might be. That's how it happened for me anyway.