Did I ruin my detox?

[Enough999]

Thank you for the advice. Not up for a poly drug w/d. Was thinking of acquiring an RC benzo next week (same concept behind switching from dope to sub, I guess?) but not sure of the practicality. A little background: I moved out of state and left behind my whole life to kick drugs, and I did for awhile. Now I'm in a new state, full time job, no family, very few friends, support myself alone. Everything, literally everything rides on me getting this right as inpatient is not an option. If it was I'd be in a detox right now. I want to get this right and leave as little room for errror (excuses to use, like feeling uncomfortable) as possible. I also have a history of suicide attempts, I've had three very serious ones at the end of my worst runs with dope. I have experience with opiate withdrawals but none with benzos and I've read it can wreck someone's psyche. I just want this to go as smoothly as possible and not destroy what little I've managed to accomplish. Sorry for the rant, just thought I'd provide context as to why I'm so afraid. I'll stay on what has become my "regimen" a few more days to give myself a better shot at this. If you could let me know your thoughts on a benzo switch (etizolam would probably be the only option I have, I have no way of getting any other kind) I would truly appreciate it.

 

[Jekyl Anhydride]

Etizolam should serve your purposes quite well actually. While it has a bit shorter half life than xanax, it is an effective anxiolytic, muscle relaxant and will quash all but the worst insomnia. Paradoxically it actually becomes more effective on weeks 2 through 4 unlike most all other benzos which build a tolerance rapidly.. Not that I would want to use it for longer than required but it sounds like a fine choice in my opinion.

 

[Enough999]

Would I start at the same dose as the Xanax? Then again this is all moot since I haven't ordered or found any yet I've just read good things

 

[Enough999]

Nevermind, its banned in my state

 

[Keif' Richards]

The "Beauty" of Benzodiazepine withdrawal from a medical sense is that, if you actually are experiencing a certain severity of symptoms during your withdrawal, they're generally pretty easily readable. The benchmarks for how a given patient will be medicated is based largely on monitoring of the vital statistics: Blood Pressure, Pulse etc, unlike Opioid withdrawal, which to a somewhat greater extent, is self-reported verbally. If you find yourself in a crisis, any physician not stuck in the 1940's will at least set you up with some Chlordiazepoxide (Librium) or Clorazepate (Tranxene), although this might be in an in-patient setting.

Alprazolam (Xanax) is not a good choice for your purposes in my opinion. I know it's a little bit late now, but being dependent upon Benzodiazepines is a very difficult experience, with a lot of ups and downs. Being dependent upon one of the short(er) acting Benzodiazepines is only going to amplify the peaks and troughs of your withdrawal, making the process more intense.

Remember that survival isn't your goal here, it's maintaining your cleanliness and sobriety right? If you don't do it properly, you will repeat the entire cycle over again, potentially with a new, more severe dependency.

 

[Moonlitskies09]

Enough999, I just posted a thread detailing my experience in using during detox (in my example at the 72 hour mark). I found that my withdrawals were existent (reset) but more mild. Think to the peak of your withdrawal. Could you handle that? Well it's going to be easier this time. It will be apreciably easier as long as you mess up and quickly get back.

If you want some information on the effect of redosing during withdrawal, check out my thread, it's a little intensive but I'm hoping it will help you get an idea of what you'll go through. good luck! http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/808420-Heroin-withdrawal-Redosing-72-hours-into-withdrawal

 

[Enough999]

I read your thread and see how it could be helpful but I'm trying to find the best way to come off of Xanax as i ate a lot of it for months while trying and failing suboxone tapers. It's been 3 days since I've last used a sub and over 2 weeks since dope but I still doing feel right, and am pretty sure I'm dependent on Xanax

 

[Enough999]

I live in Florida ands it's been banned. Are there any RCs that haven't been banned here that would help?

 

[Keif' Richards]

I'm gonna be blunt and try not to be an asshole, but jesus christ my friend do you have a book of excuses? the bottom line is you either will or will not get off of heroin. Which one do you want? you gotta make a choice and fuckin stick with it. There's nothing you can't do you believe you can do it. Aren't you tired of the fucking bullshit? waking up needing a sub, needing dope, that paranoia of not having enough / enough money. Just fucking do it and man up, or keep living like a fuckin junkbox, take your pick.

Damn, I never realized it was that simple?! Out of all of the tips, tricks, methods, rehab stays, maintenance programs, replapses and everything in between, the one thing I never did was "Decide I didn't want to do Heroin anymore". Guys, I'm leaving Bluelight. I'm done. I'm going to tour the country anon spreading Relapz' gospel of recovery. The just don't do it and man up method!

Everyone has been right all along! The way to solve the drug problem is by not doing them. These past few decades that we've dedicated to dumb shit like Harm Reduction and compassionate treatment of the mentally ill has in fact, been fucking us over. We can learn a lot about how to solve our nation's drug problem by revisiting drug treatment practices of the late 1920's and early 1930's.

 

[Enough999]

Any RC Chems that could help that haven't been banned in FL? Please help

 

[Jekyl Anhydride]

That's a bummer that 6 states have shut it down. You might consider looking into a TOR browser and perusing the dark net or finding a liberal shrink. If Etiz is gone I doubt there will be anything comparable to it still uncontrolled, at least in Florida. I wish I could be of more help.

 

[radar3559]

Very hard too answer seeing as everyone is different. Best way is to learn by trial and error. People can give you their anecdotal stories til they are blue in the face but it wont make a difference on how your body reacts to withdrawing. Good luck and be strong.

 

[T. Calderone]

Any RC Chems that could help that haven't been banned in FL? Please help

As far as I know, diclazepam hasn't been banned there yet but this could change. I agree with Jekyl as it might be best to see a doctor in order to get a legal prescription so you can properly taper.

 

[AnydrugsBEENthere]

Your good man, keep going strong. A part of recovery is relapse. Just don't give up.

 

[Enough999]

I'm scared to death, plus still feeeling dub w/ds. All RCs are banned here and I don't have a doctor bc my deductible is so high. If went to the ER what can I expect

 

[Keif' Richards]

^Enough999, feel free to send me a private message. I'm well versed in the twin-bullshit of Opioid withdrawal and our healthcare system, but I'll give you a little introduction here in our thread. I may get in trouble for this, but I'm going to break the rules a little bit and give you some advice for how to deal with these people.

This first part is essential. Opioid withdrawal is not a medical emergency. Occasionally, vomiting and diarrhea are so severe that they require rehydration therapy in the hospital, but this is rare. The fact that Opioid withdrawal typically resolves within 72 hours means that the body won't get to a point where it's completely depleted. So, it's not a medical emergency, there's no necessary treatment. However, one condition that is significantly more dangerous would be Alcohol Withdrawal. Someone withdrawing from Alcohol and Opioids, might have a better chance at being admitted to the hospital, especially if they were exhibiting severe symptoms of Alcohol withdrawal, all of which are easily found on Wikipedia and to a certain extent, viewable on Youtube.

I know this isn't your case, but if it were your case, you'd probably have a better chance at getting admitted to a detox program, even if it's in the hospital. You'd be surprised how quickly hospital staff move to get you admitted when they believe you're having a grand mal seizure. It's not pretty that this is what it takes sometimes just to get treatment, but it's America and this is how it works in some places.

If someone were to go the the Emergency Department with their symptoms of Alcohol withdrawal, which is in essence, a medical necessity, one could also declare that they are a heavy user of Opioids. The Opioid dependence should be an afterthought, as this is going to be approximately 5% of their total concern for your wellbeing, however, once you get upstairs or into a detox program, there is a fair chance at acquiring Buprenorphine. I've done it. In addition, you will probably receive some Benzodiazepines to treat your Alcohol withdrawal, in additoin of course to all of the other shit they throw at you in detox.

Your chances at being accepted into a detox, whether at the hospital or elsewhere is going to depend upon how well you can sell yourself. I'm being totally serious, if you can't pull it off, you're fucked and will end up sitting on a stretcher in the waiting room of the hospital while hospital staff mocks you for several hours. You can do it.

 

[Enough999]

Appreciate the response Mr. Richards. What if I went in there and told them the thruth: I want off benzos?

 

[Jekyl Anhydride]

Keif' really does shine in this department as Florida is still reeling from a pill epidemic and most emergency departments will probably act callously towards your situation if you were to share the truth with them and did not exhibit dangerous vital signs. Stating you were in EtOH w/d would mean danger is likely imminent even with near normal vitals. If this just seems like to much to tackle you might be able to find a practitioner that would treat you for cash. I worked out a deal with my physician 8 years ago to pay what the insurance company would have but in cash and it was less than my monthly premium. He wishes most of his patients would do the same nowadays.

To speak with Keif' Richards privately click on his name in one of his posts then select Private Message which is the second option down on the left of choices. He is an excellent resource to utilize and not just a Bluelighter.

 

[Keif' Richards]

Appreciate the response Mr. Richards. What if I went in there and told them the thruth: I want off benzos?

You miss the point sort of. In order to utilize hospital services in a fashion that will guarantee your treatment, you need to be in a relatively severe state or by definition, a case in which not administering medical treatment would result in either death or potential catastrophe. Benzodiazepine withdrawal itself is not inherently deadly. It's only deadly if it reaches a certain severity. If you present at the ED claiming you wish to make an informed life change and have decided to cease your Benzodiazepine use, they will most likely not admit you.

If one were to be admitted, they would have to present with some of these severe symptoms of withdrawal. What are they? Hallmarks are going to be shaking, sweating, axiety, paranoia, nausea and vomiting. The medical community seems to really get off on vomiting, so it wouldn't hurt to wretch a little bit or actually vomit if you can. I've induced vomiting on myself plenty of times for various reasons, but it's not a healthy practice.

You need to present in a state that demands immediate attention. It can't wait a long weekend until you can contact a detoxifaction program. It can't wait a day until you can contact your physician. You need the care at that instant. Make sure that they know that Benzodiazepines are your primary issue. Even if it's just in your personal opinion. It definitely couldn't hurt to say you're also a prolific Alcoholic. Tell them you stopped drinking ~36 hours prior (it often takes 48hours+ for Delirium Tremens to present). Tell them you randomly lost consciousness and woke up in an extremely weakened and confused state (seizure), but don't know what that means.

It might sound like I'm trying to be funny, but I'm not. This is the real deal. I've been turned away from ER's before because I wasn't bad off enough. One time, I'm pretty sure they gave me hell intentionally. They said they didn't have any rooms, so they put me on a stretcher in the waiting area like an animal at the zoo, while I'm in withdrawal, looking like absolute shit. I kept asking for IV fluids as I was vomiting pretty badly. They said they were just waiting for a room to open up. I spent 7 hours in that waiting area. Then they put me in a room, gave me 1 liter of fluids and discharged me with a hostile attitude.

It's best to be too fucked to not even be able to communicate in a clear and effective manner. Then you don't have to deal with their bullshit.

 

[Enough999]

Went to ER got a script of Ativan to taper with. Just not sure when to switch, now or when I've tapered my Xanax down. I've cut it from 8 mg to around 6, depending on how I feel as far as opiate withdrawals (still only been a few days off subs)