@Korana yes hang tough. You are tough I can tell. I feel you strongly on the level of anxiety and depression you are experiencing currently and specifically how are you say you have never felt so low because I did feel exactly the same recently when I got myself addicted to kratom with four weeks of daily use and had to stop cold turkey because it's seriously messed up my digestive system and made me dangerously ill like I was almost at death due to severe malnourishment and sleep deprivation.
The kratom was such a good send for my anxiety and depression at the time it was the only thing each day that was enabling me to cope with unbearably extreme anxiety and panic, and an inability to see light and generate positive thoughts and feelings.
When I had to stop the kratom in the condition it led me to I was honestly feeling so incredibly low mentally and emotionally more than ever in my life and also physically I was in the worst condition I've ever been in.
But that mental low though I was there and I can relate to what you are feeling a little bit but I'm not trying to say that what I felt was equal to what you are going through.
This particular lull and phase will certainly pass and get better I'm sure I really feel like I can on almost tune into how you are feeling at present and I just want to say hang in there, you will feel much more grounded and less anxious and more positive when this phase has passed and resolved.
Is all part of the healing process and healing will always come with pain the more extreme the pain the faster we are progressing through the healing.
I think you have probably made a wise decision to leave the kratom alone now because in a way it's just more of the same with dependency and potential uncomfortable with drools to face at some point while still being physically dependent.
I'm really pleased that you I'm going to try the kava now that you have seen it appears to have much more benefits than Downside vs kratom and some other options.
I really hope it helps you and I also think it does make sense in your situation to try the etizolam well at least keep it on hand for flexible and occasional use I feel that you may be able to get more assistance and smooth transition through this period with the etizolam vs the issues you may have with it.
With the kava on hand you hopefully we'll be able to just use the etizolam occasionally and minimally and prevent dependence and withdrawals.
So, we truly empathize, and we can relate as well because in very different ways we all have extremely intense and difficult lives and conditions with much of the same experience regarding Society and the establishment and general diagnosis and treatment etc.
Just hang tough now. Hang tough! It will get better it will get easier and I'm certain there is hope for you to feel much happier and more relaxed and more confident and comfortable in the future you'll just have to ride this out now and make as many little positive lifestyle changes as you can on and let time and healing do the rest.
You have to believe and tell yourself that this is the case because I really believe it will be you just needs time and to stay committed.
You are doing a very good job with your discipline and determination and also your willingness to explore options. I am proud of you actually and you can be proud of yourself.
So while I feel your pain I just want to encourage you to hang in there and give it time and I know that things will ease up and it will all be so worth it ultimately and probably much sooner than it feels right now.
I'm doing ok myself just about although I'm still completely off my head from taking too much acid last week I underestimated the power of the drug despite extensive experience.
I didn't need 650ug after all. I mean it was all good and well but I'm still feeling totally cained 3 days later, my head is pretty useless. I expect I will be off my head for a good week.
Lesser doses will be fine from now on which is good I wanted to feel this way without craving heavier trips, to be perfectly satisfied with the lower doses which is more ideal going forwards for many reasons.
Battling on all fronts physically, treating out of control respiratory infections the last 2 days which I have lowered a little bit but I'm having a rest from treatment now today.
Cannabis edibles coming up. Still very stoned from our 2 strains which I vaporised before bed and again this morning to get back to sleep.
Our herb from this summer is remarkably potent, absolutely blows my head off even without this much acid still working in my system lol. On top it's proving a bit heavy.
I am addicted to cannabis though, it has been the only drug I have been able to tolerate throughout my illness, with the clearnet lab grade Lsd homologues being the only other drug it seems I can use.
@Korana we are here for you and we care whenever you feel you want to update or share anything we will be here and listening with open arms and heart.
@Lizzy1Fair has a huge warm heart and so much empathy and compassion for everybody else despite her own extremely hard life and conditions.
I see she has been offering you some excellent support and very good on her always she spreads her wings as widely as she can. Commend that girl!
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