Advice Decreased Sexual Arousal - How to increase?

[TrenE]

Hello everyone,

I hope someone can help me with the following sexual problem and give some advice, even if it is very specific.

I'll start with the past in my 20s: I had early contact with sexual enhancers (PDE-5 inhibitors, Viagra/Sildenafil). I liked the use very much. I was immediately aroused with a woman and accordingly had an erection before there was physical touch. A naked woman standing in front of me was enough, besides the knowledge that sex was about to happen. Now I know the fast arousal didn't come from Viagra but I enjoyed the easy and long lasting erection. It also calmed me from the fear of failure, but I always was able to have Sex without Viagra in comfortable and relaxed situations.

In addition, after the first orgasm I was again receptive to sexual stimuli after about 30 minutes. I will add that it actually worked even if the woman did not please me very much.

Nowadays in my 30s - even with Viagra - the woman must be exactly my type, otherwise it will be very difficult for me to get and keep an erection and often this is possible only after hand or blowjob. I just don't get aroused fast enough anymore, so with that the Viagra doesn't help me. I also often feel a tension - kind of anxiety - that I never had then.

Hormonally everything is fine. I don't watch porn anymore for several months and don't need it. Attempts with cabergoline have not really brought anything.

Is there a way to be as quickly aroused as I was back then with my 20s? I am at least considering taking a Benzo like Klonopin against the possible cause of my tension.

So my problem is about increasing/sensitizing sexual arousal. My libido is fine.

Thank you very much.

 

[Robi]

hope you get great advice, people here are very open to helping with these issues, dont think getting on benzo`s is a good idea, but with these issues everyone is so different, just would not like you getting hooked and still have the same problem, i am curious if you are on any antidepressants, my best wishes on your journey to sexual health

 

[TrenE]

Thank you for your answer. No I do not take any antidepressants. The strange thing is that my libido is completely fine. But to get aroused, I now simply need more activity (e.g. woman starting with handjob).

There might be the possibility that this decrease or desensitization of sexual arousal is normal and it has to do with getting older and already having a lot of sexual experience. Or I'm too nervous by now, or both.

But I do not want to accept that without further attempts.

 

[Robi]

Thank you for your answer. No I do not take any antidepressants. The strange thing is that my libido is completely fine. But to get aroused, I now simply need more activity (e.g. woman starting with handjob).

There might be the possibility that this decrease or desensitization of sexual arousal is normal and it has to do with getting older and already having a lot of sexual experience. Or I'm too nervous by now, or both.

But I do not want to accept that without further attempts.

i hated those lubes that are hot and cold, but maybe better for a male?

 

[arrall]

This kind of issue is somewhat common with people who overused Viagra while young.

I would suggest that you go to get your testosterone tested, as that may be a factor here. The issue could also be psychological.

 

[TrenE]

@Robi My answer was not necessarily related to a handjob, but to the fact that in the meantime it requires further sexual touch to become aroused.

This kind of issue is somewhat common with people who overused Viagra while young.

I would suggest that you go to get your testosterone tested, as that may be a factor here. The issue could also be psychological.

I have to tell you that I currently can have sex without Viagra but anyway I need more to get and stay aroused than in my 20s. But of course in my 20s with Viagra I had a long lasting erection never needed to think about possible failure. Today with or without Viagra it is often difficult to stay aroused and therefore hold the erection.

Testosterone and hormones are checked. I am on testosterone replacement and my libido is well. Maybe it is psychological thought Viagra would help then, but it seems that it doesn't help anymore. Therefore I had the idea of trying a benzo before sex.

 

[Robi]

@Robi My answer was not necessarily related to a handjob, but to the fact that in the meantime it requires further sexual touch to become aroused.


I have to tell you that I currently can have sex without Viagra but anyway I need more to get and stay aroused than in my 20s. But of course in my 20s with Viagra I had a long lasting erection never needed to think about possible failure. Today with or without Viagra it is often difficult to stay aroused and therefore hold the erection.

Testosterone and hormones are checked. I am on testosterone replacement and my libido is well. Maybe it is psychological thought Viagra would help then, but it seems that it doesn't help anymore. Therefore I had the idea of trying a benzo before sex.

would relax you , i think.........i understand more, but as a woman with not a ton of experience with men, they will remain a mystery

 

[arrall]

@Robi My answer was not necessarily related to a handjob, but to the fact that in the meantime it requires further sexual touch to become aroused.


I have to tell you that I currently can have sex without Viagra but anyway I need more to get and stay aroused than in my 20s. But of course in my 20s with Viagra I had a long lasting erection never needed to think about possible failure. Today with or without Viagra it is often difficult to stay aroused and therefore hold the erection.

Testosterone and hormones are checked. I am on testosterone replacement and my libido is well. Maybe it is psychological thought Viagra would help then, but it seems that it doesn't help anymore. Therefore I had the idea of trying a benzo before sex.

Benzos can help but if you take too much that you can get 'whiskey dick'. I've noticed that it's mainly an issue with the RC benzos like Etizolam, never had that issue with any of the script benzos like Valium or Ativan.

 

[Atomic_Decay]

Maybe being with a regular partner you are comfortable with and focussing primarily on non-genital arousal and then non-penetrative sex for a few sessions can help?

I’ve had bouts of impotence related to stimulant abuse and also consumed industrial quantities of Cialis for quite a while.

Initially I was very stressed by the problem and spent hours trying to coax some life into my dick. My partners would go to town on it for ages but nothing worked and obsessing about it just prolonged the dysfunction.

I decided that whenever it would not work I would simply forget about it and requested my partners do the same. Eventually, through focussing on everything else but my cock I discovered at the ripe old age of 50 that the gauranteed fix to my flaccid dick under almost any circumstances was holding and kissing my partner very softly in a very particular way - when blowjobs, pumps, cock rings, vibrators, butt pugs and all else failed -,it turned out that first simpy relaxing and then doing one very simpy thing solved the problem every time.

 

[RedRum OG]

Your name is literally Tren, the most powerful, libido-ruining monster of all AAsteroids, and I see no discussion on it

When, how long, and how hard did you blast the tren

 

[TrenE]

Maybe being with a regular partner you are comfortable with and focussing primarily on non-genital arousal and then non-penetrative sex for a few sessions can help?

You are right, when having sex with a regular partner where I am more comfortable with it is much easier getting sexual aroused and an erection.

But I want the sensitive sexual arousal back from my 20s as described in my first post, where it was guaranteed having an erection immediately when taking Viagra. I do not unterstand why this is not the case anymore?

When, how long, and how hard did you blast the tren

Thank you for your answer. Tren I have been used approx. three years ago for 2-3 blasts of 6 weeks each. Again now my hormones and libido is fine it is a sexual arousal problem somehow. It decreased so I want to get aroused as it was before when a naked girl just is in front of me. I know this sounds like a luxury problem, but it is important for me.

 

[Keeloverandfly]

I was easily aroused by any woman until the age of 30, and never had erectile problems. I was with long term partners, short term partners, one night stands, and even women who I hardly said a sentence to before we had sex. At 30 my erections became more and more elusive with any old gal, to the point of me being fully flaccid and unexcited in front of anyone that I was not currently in love with (happened ~10 times before I gave up). When love was involved—that is, when there was a strong mental attraction—my erections were harder than ever. This continues to today, at 35. I no longer flirt like I once did. I no longer hook up with women I meet at parties.

I am not saying that this is the answer for you, but just showing that it is totally possible to have a major psychological shift that effects arousal and thus erections. i consider myself demi sexual now, or only interested in sex when connected with love.

 

[RedRum OG]

You are right, when having sex with a regular partner where I am more comfortable with it is much easier getting sexual aroused and an erection.

But I want the sensitive sexual arousal back from my 20s as described in my first post, where it was guaranteed having an erection immediately when taking Viagra. I do not unterstand why this is not the case anymore?

Thank you for your answer. Tren I have been used approx. three years ago for 2-3 blasts of 6 weeks each. Again now my hormones and libido is fine it is a sexual arousal problem somehow. It decreased so I want to get aroused as it was before when a naked girl just is in front of me. I know this sounds like a luxury problem, but it is important for me.

So, you stopped 3 years ago, or do you mean you started 3 years ago?

90% chance your problems are mostly due to tren/juicing in general, which is good, because tens of thousands of dudes have been down that valley and come up the other side of the mountain succesfully. Are you on test cruise? You probably should be. Are you taking any ancillaries- especially AI or SERMs? You probably shouldn't be, if you are. Look up clomid, hcg/HPTA restart plans. You're going to have a flaccid few months- few years, but it will come back if you stay off the tren and learn to have a give and take relationship with your hormones

And like everyone else is saying, the second you feel preasure to perform, you're staying soft. Having a partner you are 101% sure is non judgemental is key.

 

[TrenE]

Thank you for your answer. Please excuse the misleading language. I have not taken tren for 3 years.

I am on testosterone + AI, hormone levels are in order. In addition sometimes I cycle HCG. Since libido is fine I assume the problem is because of the last paragraph you describe.

Especially with new partners the problem occurs more. I don't understand why I'm more nervous at 30 than at 20, at least the Viagra doesn't help here anymore?

I think I will try a benzo out of curiosity with a new partner, as it is very important to me to get back the feeling I had in my 20s. If you have other ideas, I am happy tp hear everything what could bring that state back again.

 

[Antiprosynthesis]

For me personally its for a big part the power of suggestion that turns me on, like the girl not being (fully) naked, some clothes/lingerie really turn me on...

Also getting teased like crazy is a huge turn on for me, like not getting an actual hand- or blowjob but being subtily touched/licked in rather short and fleeting instances...

Living out fantasies really turns me on as well...