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  • P&S Moderators: Xorkoth | Madness

Death with dignity

Maybe as a side thing, this is also the well pit for Fermi Paradox if there was a highly advanced civilization maybe they randomly discovered the secret to eternity by mistake and they realised their soul stop spinning and so they wiped themselves out
 
assclass said:
my avatar used to be a dancing jesus, but the forum doesn't support gif avatars anymore. suppression of my faith, again.
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There's GIF alternatives available. Google those try and convert it to and see if it works.
 
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O ye of little faith
 
Would it be okay to put bobble head Jesus on my car dashboard and smack him to make him bobble every time I get irate with another driver?

I don't feel comfortable asking the Parish Priest about this, but I think it may help with aggressive driving.
 
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Xorkoth said:
My dad got sick with ALS, and it took 7 years for him to die. The first 3, he could still do most stuff, but with limitations, but the last 4 years were horrible. He became entirely paralyzed eventually except for his head. And then even his head was paralyzed. He could only breathe with a machine, and towards the end, couldn't even talk. He was absolutely miserable, and it dramatically changed my parents' relationship. They were always very in love, each others' best friends, very affectionate. But my mom was his caretaker and after years of having to scratch his face every time he had an itch, hoist him onto the toilet to shit, and countless other things, and his accompanying anxiety about it, she grew to resent him. And he knew that, and it crushed him. Before it got that bad, but after it got really bad, he broke down one time when I was visiting (I was the only one who didn't start to treat him as an annoying invalid because I live far away so I only saw him sometimes), and told me he wished he had been hit by a bus, that he is literally in hell, every moment of every day is horrible, and he just wanted to die. I am almost positive he then was going to ask me if I could kill him, but then didn't. He started to say he wanted to ask me for something, but then said nevermind and just cried. He felt he had no dignity, no joy, only suffering, and worst of all for him, was that he didn't want to make our lives harder, and he didn't want us to remember him as the pathetic, sick, miserable burden that he had become, but as the healthy father, husband, friend, and provider that he always was before.

Before he got really sick, he told us that if he had to be kept alive with a breathing machine, that he didn't want to live and we should let him go. But then he got inspired by some famous guy who had ALS who lived for 10 years, most of it fully paralyzed and with a breathing machine, and during that time he started charities and lived his life and was pretty happy. It didn't work out that way with my dad, his personality was such that being helpless like that did not work for him. It was confusing because once it got that bad, he wouldn't say we should let him die, and my mom was stubbornly hanging on and wouldn't have let it happen anyway. The whole ordeal ruined the last 7 years of his life, right when he was finally able to retire and h and my mom were going to do all the stuff they'd always wanted to do. And it caused huge amounts of pain in the rest of us... guilt, shame, grief, anger, the whole spectrum.

The story was to illustrate how painful it can be for everyone when someone is not able to die in dignity. In my dad's case, he didn't actually seek euthanasia, though I know he wanted to. But if he HAD asked me to kill him, and I could have actually done that, and if I actually HAD done it, I could have gone to jail for murder. And if he had killed himself, his life insurance wouldn't have worked (I think that's how it works anyway). But, truly, had he been comfortable with seeking euthanasia once it got to where he had no quality of life, it would have saved all of us so much pain, especially he and my mom. There wouldn't have been all that time for all the resentment and anger to build up. I wouldn't, even today, have a hard time recalling my dad as he was before he was a quadriplegic invalid who hated his life.
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my mom is traumatized by threats of death (health problems) and is very afraid of it. until H.S. job is done dont nobody go playing the grinch im soooo serious God said itll be ur hell immediately afterwards.
 
I can only imagine the emotional turmoil you're experiencing, seeing your loved one in such a state. It's a deeply challenging situation, and your feelings of wanting to end their suffering are completely understandable. The topic of euthanasia is indeed a complex and deeply personal one, often entangled with various ethical, moral, and spiritual beliefs.As you navigate these tough moments, you may find some comfort and guidance in exploring resources like https://greenfarewells.com/. They offer thoughtful perspectives on managing end-of-life decisions, focusing on dignity, respect, and sustainability. It's a space where you might find support and clarity in these trying times.
 
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If a beloved pet is suffering from an incurable disease and is dying a slow and painful death, we euthanize it because that is the right thing to do.
I'd like to be treated with the same kindness.
 
I believe everyone has the right to decide their own fates, it's their own life after all. I never understood the compulsion for suicide. "We are all going to die eventually anyways so what is the rush? You might as well stick with it until it's over." That's what I believed until I tried to do a cold turkey withdrawal off of fentanyl after many years of dependency. During that struggle I kind of got an idea of what motivates a person to kill themselves: simply living is pain. If living is pain and you can't take that pain then ending your life seems like a fair solution.

While life is precious, and we should cherish what life we have, each person should have the right to end their life if they truly desire it. That doesn't mean we shouldn't try and help make their lives worth living.
 
I think death of a loved one is going to be hard either way, regardless if they opt for euthanasia or not. You're still going to go through the stages of grieving and there is going to be guilt and other regret involved in that. So it's six of one and half a dozen of the other.

An acquaintance of mine had all of his documents filled out for euthanasia for his rapidly progressing Alzheimer's disease. At the 11th hour when the euthanasia was supposed to be triggered, he refused it because he couldn't understand anymore what was happening. So they couldn't go ahead with euthanasia because he was refusing it, because his mind was so far gone that he was scared. Instead, he had to suffer until the bitter end, with his family and health care people taking care of him around the clock. It was a total nightmare and not what he originally wanted when he was sound of mind. I hope that never ever happens to me.

About 4 years ago when I was so ill from IBD that I was near death, I opted for euthanasia. The waiting period was 2 weeks. Within that time, my body made a miraculous turn around. But I would have gone through with it if I continued deteriorating.

It's my choice when to die, not anybody else's. There is no dignity in forcing somebody to suffer because you are attached to them being alive. It's their life not yours. I feel the same about suicide, honestly. Sure, there are plenty of people who are glad they were saved and that their suicide attempt didn't succeed. The dying process can be very scary and painful, enough to trigger avoidance. It's the real deal. Whatever ideological thing you think death is about, it quickly becomes irrelevant when you're actually dying. Shit gets real, really fast. But I still think I should have control over when my life ends. Human life is complicated and often very shitty, it's a tough slog. Nobody should be forced to live anymore than they should be forced to die prematurely.
 
I watched my mom die in March. She was full of cancer and in extreme pain. When it was within days of her passing the nurses came to me to see if i wanted her kept more comfortable( more hydromorph and midlozam). I said yes because she couldn't speak and i'd watch her face wine with pain. I still struggle with questioning myself that maybe i took days from her life, that i basically let them push the process quicker but she had pancreatic, liver and lung cancer and i know she was suffering.
Not a decision i wanted but she went quicker and had less pain so that helps a bit.

People say here that in palliative care they speed up the process by high doses of drugs but i can't see anyone wanting to spend more days to a week in agonizing pain. I just hope i did what she wanted but there is guilt. I would want the same done with me and i'm sure she's better for it, just wish it wasn't my decision to make
 
That's tough having to make a judgement call of that magnitude. Though possibly better than leaving it up to someone who doesn't know her
 
Jennn said:
I watched my mom die in March. She was full of cancer and in extreme pain. When it was within days of her passing the nurses came to me to see if i wanted her kept more comfortable( more hydromorph and midlozam). I said yes because she couldn't speak and i'd watch her face wine with pain. I still struggle with questioning myself that maybe i took days from her life, that i basically let them push the process quicker but she had pancreatic, liver and lung cancer and i know she was suffering.
Not a decision i wanted but she went quicker and had less pain so that helps a bit.

People say here that in palliative care they speed up the process by high doses of drugs but i can't see anyone wanting to spend more days to a week in agonizing pain. I just hope i did what she wanted but there is guilt. I would want the same done with me and i'm sure she's better for it, just wish it wasn't my decision to make
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My grandmother died of colon cancer and in her final days her actual death was caused by opiate overdose suppressing her respiratory system. This was understood but not actually written down. Her official cause of death was cancer. What they did to her in the hospital was a form of passive euthanasia. Everyone just calls it "making them more comfortable."
 
And if this helps, my grandpa was smashing the "more morphine" button. He was happy as a you know what in you know what. I can't say what it's like, but id think the options are limited at that point
 
Who needs permission ……like I couldn’t take my entire months worth of Methadone 25mg @ 100 tablets sealed bottle and consume the entire bottle.

anyone could walk into a pharmacy, with a pellet gun / fake gun and ask for all the Dilaudid, Valium, etc and ingest it all
 
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