Dear Stasis
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DJ SKINNY JESUS
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2000
- Messages
- 4
Gurrrrrrkkkkk...gurrrrrrrrkkkkkk...gurrrrrkkkkkkk?
Tezcatlipoca
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2000
- Messages
- 1
Entropy already got me. All my people are long gone, but in my day I had all of you lesser gods whipped.
I was known by many names, The Creator God, The God Of The Hunt, The Enemy on Both Sides. I was worshipped under the name Titlacahuan, meaning "He Whose Slaves Are".
People would WILLINGLY have their beating hearts cut out, believeing me and my brethren would show their people mercy for their sacrifice.
Now, who wants to step up to the plate? beelzebub, you ain't got shit on me. But entropy man... you are a bitch!
I was known by many names, The Creator God, The God Of The Hunt, The Enemy on Both Sides. I was worshipped under the name Titlacahuan, meaning "He Whose Slaves Are".
People would WILLINGLY have their beating hearts cut out, believeing me and my brethren would show their people mercy for their sacrifice.
Now, who wants to step up to the plate? beelzebub, you ain't got shit on me. But entropy man... you are a bitch!
Tez - yeah, yeah, yeah. "Well back in my day..." Too bad your day came and went. Must have been some flaw in your work, right?
Entropy's Bitch - Poor little thing. Entropy MUST increase, and you can't control a single damn thing. Talk about a complete neuter. So you go on increasing, and in the meantime, I'll go on corrupting the innocent, tempting the righteous, and just generally raising hell in a whole lot of wonderful ways.
Krishna - Hmmm... I want to tell the Indian patron saint of music exactly where to put that flute... But I'll just be content saying that as the 8th avatar of Vishnu (out of ten) I wouldn't pretend to be the be-all and end-all of anything. Although as the protector of COWS, I respect your right to surround yourself with Gopinis (milkmaids!). Maybe there's hope for you yet.
Entropy's Bitch - Poor little thing. Entropy MUST increase, and you can't control a single damn thing. Talk about a complete neuter. So you go on increasing, and in the meantime, I'll go on corrupting the innocent, tempting the righteous, and just generally raising hell in a whole lot of wonderful ways.
Krishna - Hmmm... I want to tell the Indian patron saint of music exactly where to put that flute... But I'll just be content saying that as the 8th avatar of Vishnu (out of ten) I wouldn't pretend to be the be-all and end-all of anything. Although as the protector of COWS, I respect your right to surround yourself with Gopinis (milkmaids!). Maybe there's hope for you yet.
Hey Beelzebub who said I don't know how to have a good time?
Then I heard a loud voice from the temple saying to the seven angels, "Go, pour out the seven bowls of God's wrath on the earth."
The first angel went and poured out his bowl on the land, and ugly and painful sores broke out on the people who had the mark of the beast and worshiped his image.
The second angel poured out his bowl on the sea, and it turned into blood like that of a dead man, and every living thing in the sea died.
The third angel poured out his bowl on the rivers and springs of water, and they became blood.
Then I heard the angel in charge of the waters say: "You are just in these judgments, you who are and who were, the Holy One, because you have so judged;
for they have shed the blood of your saints and prophets, and you have given them blood to drink as they deserve."
And I heard the altar respond: "Yes, Lord God Almighty, true and just are your judgments."
The fourth angel poured out his bowl on the sun, and the sun was given power to scorch people with fire.
They were seared by the intense heat and they cursed the name of God, who had control over these plagues, but they refused to repent and glorify him.
The fifth angel poured out his bowl on the throne of the beast, and his kingdom was plunged into darkness. Men gnawed their tongues in agony
and cursed the God of heaven because of their pains and their sores, but they refused to repent of what they had done.
The sixth angel poured out his bowl on the great river Euphrates, and its water was dried up to prepare the way for the kings from the East.
Then I saw three evil spirits that looked like frogs; they came out of the mouth of the dragon, out of the mouth of the beast and out of the mouth of the false prophet.
They are spirits of demons performing miraculous signs, and they go out to the kings of the whole world, to gather them for the battle on the great day of God Almighty.
"Behold, I come like a thief! Blessed is he who stays awake and keeps his clothes with him, so that he may not go naked and be shamefully exposed."
Then they gathered the kings together to the place that in Hebrew is called Armageddon.
The seventh angel poured out his bowl into the air, and out of the temple came a loud voice from the throne, saying, "It is done!"
Then there came flashes of lightning, rumblings, peals of thunder and a severe earthquake. No earthquake like it has ever occurred since man has been on earth, so tremendous was the quake.
The great city split into three parts, and the cities of the nations collapsed. God remembered Babylon the Great and gave her the cup filled with the wine of the fury of his wrath.
Every island fled away and the mountains could not be found.
From the sky huge hailstones of about a hundred pounds each fell upon men. And they cursed God on account of the plague of hail, because the plague was so terrible.
So what do all these false gods before be do for a good time?
------------------
Armageddon: its whats for dinner.
[This message has been edited by God (edited 21 October 2000).]
Then I heard a loud voice from the temple saying to the seven angels, "Go, pour out the seven bowls of God's wrath on the earth."
The first angel went and poured out his bowl on the land, and ugly and painful sores broke out on the people who had the mark of the beast and worshiped his image.
The second angel poured out his bowl on the sea, and it turned into blood like that of a dead man, and every living thing in the sea died.
The third angel poured out his bowl on the rivers and springs of water, and they became blood.
Then I heard the angel in charge of the waters say: "You are just in these judgments, you who are and who were, the Holy One, because you have so judged;
for they have shed the blood of your saints and prophets, and you have given them blood to drink as they deserve."
And I heard the altar respond: "Yes, Lord God Almighty, true and just are your judgments."
The fourth angel poured out his bowl on the sun, and the sun was given power to scorch people with fire.
They were seared by the intense heat and they cursed the name of God, who had control over these plagues, but they refused to repent and glorify him.
The fifth angel poured out his bowl on the throne of the beast, and his kingdom was plunged into darkness. Men gnawed their tongues in agony
and cursed the God of heaven because of their pains and their sores, but they refused to repent of what they had done.
The sixth angel poured out his bowl on the great river Euphrates, and its water was dried up to prepare the way for the kings from the East.
Then I saw three evil spirits that looked like frogs; they came out of the mouth of the dragon, out of the mouth of the beast and out of the mouth of the false prophet.
They are spirits of demons performing miraculous signs, and they go out to the kings of the whole world, to gather them for the battle on the great day of God Almighty.
"Behold, I come like a thief! Blessed is he who stays awake and keeps his clothes with him, so that he may not go naked and be shamefully exposed."
Then they gathered the kings together to the place that in Hebrew is called Armageddon.
The seventh angel poured out his bowl into the air, and out of the temple came a loud voice from the throne, saying, "It is done!"
Then there came flashes of lightning, rumblings, peals of thunder and a severe earthquake. No earthquake like it has ever occurred since man has been on earth, so tremendous was the quake.
The great city split into three parts, and the cities of the nations collapsed. God remembered Babylon the Great and gave her the cup filled with the wine of the fury of his wrath.
Every island fled away and the mountains could not be found.
From the sky huge hailstones of about a hundred pounds each fell upon men. And they cursed God on account of the plague of hail, because the plague was so terrible.
So what do all these false gods before be do for a good time?
------------------
Armageddon: its whats for dinner.
[This message has been edited by God (edited 21 October 2000).]
femmme fatal
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 30, 2000
- Messages
- 3,585
mmm and were those grapes of wrath ever tastey!!
i myself am a Goodist deity... the deity of the eternal flame... i earned my deityship by keeping the same lighter for four months and always having it to light smokes when no other lighter could be found.. all hail my awsome power!
and by the by, if you check your history, the godess is right... she was worshiped long before your gods arose...
yours,
the femme
ps. hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...
i myself am a Goodist deity... the deity of the eternal flame... i earned my deityship by keeping the same lighter for four months and always having it to light smokes when no other lighter could be found.. all hail my awsome power!
and by the by, if you check your history, the godess is right... she was worshiped long before your gods arose...
yours,
the femme
ps. hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...
Hey Mary...
Beelze knows the deal, Mom. So you can cut the bullshit... we all know that I wasn't the result of an immaculate conception. You made up that whole, "God did it" story because you were bangin' every bloke in town and didn't know who my father was! I'm still wondering the answer to that one actually...
...I sometimes like to pretend it was Darth Vader....
Vader: "I am your FATHER..."
Me: "Really? Then can I have my own stormtrooper? I have a terrible urge to nail him to some 2x4's."
Vader: "Damn you have issues..."
[ 24 June 2002: Message edited by: Jesus ]
Beelze knows the deal, Mom. So you can cut the bullshit... we all know that I wasn't the result of an immaculate conception. You made up that whole, "God did it" story because you were bangin' every bloke in town and didn't know who my father was! I'm still wondering the answer to that one actually...
...I sometimes like to pretend it was Darth Vader....
Vader: "I am your FATHER..."
Me: "Really? Then can I have my own stormtrooper? I have a terrible urge to nail him to some 2x4's."
Vader: "Damn you have issues..."
[ 24 June 2002: Message edited by: Jesus ]
After all this debate I've decided I must punish all those who have discredited me.
However, instead of taking it out on the dieties themselves I've decided I'm going to take it out on your subjects. I will cause complete chaos in the normal world.
First, I will have my minions increase the prices on cigerettes, beer, and snacks.
Second, I will increase your gas prices (you can see my work at hand already)
Lastly, After my minions are done leeching all your followers daily wages away, I will forever close down the convience store. No more slushies for anyone. Apu and habib have already been notified of their coming lay offs.
Now what kind of world would that be, I think we all know who's in charge here!
Signed,
Krishna (often refered to by your girlfriend at climax as "oh god, oh god, oh god")
However, instead of taking it out on the dieties themselves I've decided I'm going to take it out on your subjects. I will cause complete chaos in the normal world.
First, I will have my minions increase the prices on cigerettes, beer, and snacks.
Second, I will increase your gas prices (you can see my work at hand already)
Lastly, After my minions are done leeching all your followers daily wages away, I will forever close down the convience store. No more slushies for anyone. Apu and habib have already been notified of their coming lay offs.
Now what kind of world would that be, I think we all know who's in charge here!
Signed,
Krishna (often refered to by your girlfriend at climax as "oh god, oh god, oh god")
Oh yeah. You bad.
I go through a great deal of trouble to make sure cigarettes, alcohol, and most snacks continue to wreck the bodies and minds of mankind, and to ensure the continuing destruction of the environment through fossil fuel use...
...and you're going to raise chaos by raising some prices.
Talk about a serious wanna-be. Go and play with the other toddlers, Krishna.
I go through a great deal of trouble to make sure cigarettes, alcohol, and most snacks continue to wreck the bodies and minds of mankind, and to ensure the continuing destruction of the environment through fossil fuel use...
...and you're going to raise chaos by raising some prices.
Talk about a serious wanna-be. Go and play with the other toddlers, Krishna.
From one god to another, and another........
Can we all just get along? Let those stupid humans worship you while it lasts. Look at me. Ever since the arrival of that fucker Jesus, my name hasn't been mentioned for 2 thousand years. Except for 2 stupid poems by a blind guy and a NBC T.V. movie. What are you guys bitching about? Man I miss the virgin sacrificies. It's just not fair, so I married my own sister and had a few kids by her, that doesn't make me a bad god. There should be a shit load of Red necks building new alters in my name. For the purpose of holding inbreeding ceremonies and sibling marriages. God damn it, what happen to me? Please stop this insanity and work together. I'd give anything to hear the phrase, "Oh Zeus, God of Heavens. We are gathered here today to sacrificy this pure virgin(yea right, more like the village whore) in your name." again. Ahh... the good old days.
[This message has been edited by Zeus (edited 22 October 2000).]
Can we all just get along? Let those stupid humans worship you while it lasts. Look at me. Ever since the arrival of that fucker Jesus, my name hasn't been mentioned for 2 thousand years. Except for 2 stupid poems by a blind guy and a NBC T.V. movie. What are you guys bitching about? Man I miss the virgin sacrificies. It's just not fair, so I married my own sister and had a few kids by her, that doesn't make me a bad god. There should be a shit load of Red necks building new alters in my name. For the purpose of holding inbreeding ceremonies and sibling marriages. God damn it, what happen to me? Please stop this insanity and work together. I'd give anything to hear the phrase, "Oh Zeus, God of Heavens. We are gathered here today to sacrificy this pure virgin(yea right, more like the village whore) in your name." again. Ahh... the good old days.
[This message has been edited by Zeus (edited 22 October 2000).]
Odin
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2000
- Messages
- 312
Thor damn you who said you could use my terminal? I told you you could hang around valhalla because you used to do some good work(killing smiting etc.) but you've become lazy and complacent. hell you even let that lil scrawny arabian kid get involved when those stupid canabals were pilliganing the northern reaches,WTF you cant even inspire our own hearty folk?
God- are we still going hunting in december... I'm thinking it's time we start doing some out of hand smiting of those annoying TV evangliests that are always preaching this and that.
Holy spirt- what are you bitching about you had a free ride all you had to do was sit back and chill. you whiney lil bitch I should send one of my lesser minions over to tune you up you don't fuck with my buddy God, he got me through those thin times when I was forgotten cuz the people who followed me refused to use intelligible lettering systems. Ugh stupid grog swillers always talking about sailing this conquoring that...
mary- you still owe me 500 bucks for last night pay up or I'm making your sun run the strip. that useless lil fuck could earn me some good cash. I can see it now "Fuck your messiah in the ass only 20 bills. Have him suck you off for 5."
Jesus_ I suggest buying lots of lube. and if you try to run I have thousands of hunters and warriors at my disposal. we will find that sweet lil ass of yours.
Bee- we still gonna go whoring in mexico. I have a hankering for some sweet south of the boarder punanny along with some of that tequila. this ambrosia that Zeuse gave me is good but it's just too euphoric. I wanna get into a good old fashined brawl.
Zeus- you gonna hook me up w/ aphordidte or what?
oh well gotta run stupid sailors breaking my shit again.
"hey Erik give him his helmet back you know he hates it when you hide it!!
odin
------------------
thor is still a whiney bitch. godess gives bad head, so does mary.
God- are we still going hunting in december... I'm thinking it's time we start doing some out of hand smiting of those annoying TV evangliests that are always preaching this and that.
Holy spirt- what are you bitching about you had a free ride all you had to do was sit back and chill. you whiney lil bitch I should send one of my lesser minions over to tune you up you don't fuck with my buddy God, he got me through those thin times when I was forgotten cuz the people who followed me refused to use intelligible lettering systems. Ugh stupid grog swillers always talking about sailing this conquoring that...
mary- you still owe me 500 bucks for last night pay up or I'm making your sun run the strip. that useless lil fuck could earn me some good cash. I can see it now "Fuck your messiah in the ass only 20 bills. Have him suck you off for 5."
Jesus_ I suggest buying lots of lube. and if you try to run I have thousands of hunters and warriors at my disposal. we will find that sweet lil ass of yours.
Bee- we still gonna go whoring in mexico. I have a hankering for some sweet south of the boarder punanny along with some of that tequila. this ambrosia that Zeuse gave me is good but it's just too euphoric. I wanna get into a good old fashined brawl.
Zeus- you gonna hook me up w/ aphordidte or what?
oh well gotta run stupid sailors breaking my shit again.
"hey Erik give him his helmet back you know he hates it when you hide it!!
odin
------------------
thor is still a whiney bitch. godess gives bad head, so does mary.
Entropy's Bitch I remember you telling me the same “collapse of human consciousness story about a million years ago too. Although that time it went something like:
So millions of years from now, when all these gods and evil minions have been dispatched due to the eventual destruction/collapse of the human consciousness (system of nature...you know the drill), I'll still be around to taunt the next crop of divine wannabes on Earth.
I tire of you trying to take credit for a system that I created.
------------------
People are a figment of my imagination
So millions of years from now, when all these gods and evil minions have been dispatched due to the eventual destruction/collapse of the human consciousness (system of nature...you know the drill), I'll still be around to taunt the next crop of divine wannabes on Earth.
I tire of you trying to take credit for a system that I created.
------------------
People are a figment of my imagination
The Goddess
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2000
- Messages
- 7
I believe Odin was referring to ME, THE Goddess, Goddess. And don't mind his silly ranting. He's a flawed creature, witless and reveling in fighting and other childish behaviour... I think you'll notice that's a running trait amongst the male deity. They are proud, arrogant, and self-admiring... and it will be thier downfall. They spend all of thier time playing "alpha-male" and bickering. *snicker* Boys WILL be boys...
I don't know why your bitching Zues. I was around long before you. I had my little sand people toiling in hundred degree weather with very little food and water building elaborate pyramids and such.
You think your bad Beelzebub, shit...hell may be hot, but I'm the giver of light and the sun. I got your shit beat!
Hey Odin, I heard about your last south of the border excursion. Do you still take in the ass like before of was Jehovah lying?
Zues, I thought you were a tyrant god. What happened to all that shit "If you disobey me I'll shove a lightening bolt up your ass" You sound like a wuss now. I'm ashamed of what you've become. Bad Diety!!
You think your bad Beelzebub, shit...hell may be hot, but I'm the giver of light and the sun. I got your shit beat!
Hey Odin, I heard about your last south of the border excursion. Do you still take in the ass like before of was Jehovah lying?
Zues, I thought you were a tyrant god. What happened to all that shit "If you disobey me I'll shove a lightening bolt up your ass" You sound like a wuss now. I'm ashamed of what you've become. Bad Diety!!
I wasn't lying, I was there and I saw it. Not to mention the whole donkey show thing, He seemed to be having a good time though.
Hey "the goddess", we still on for later in the week. I have my people going door to door right now, so I should be able to afford a good night on the town.
Also, all you dieties may think your some shit, but I know for a fact no other religeon on earth can piss more people off then mine.
[This message has been edited by Jehovah (edited 22 October 2000).]
Hey "the goddess", we still on for later in the week. I have my people going door to door right now, so I should be able to afford a good night on the town.
Also, all you dieties may think your some shit, but I know for a fact no other religeon on earth can piss more people off then mine.
[This message has been edited by Jehovah (edited 22 October 2000).]
The Goddess
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2000
- Messages
- 7
Goddess:
Quite a little attitude you have there, young lady. You may be A Goddess, as all women are... but you are far from being THE GODDESS - you know, Creator of the Universe, Mother Nature, all that good stuff. So chill with the 'tude, darling, and lighten up.... you're starting to sound like these silly boys
Quite a little attitude you have there, young lady. You may be A Goddess, as all women are... but you are far from being THE GODDESS - you know, Creator of the Universe, Mother Nature, all that good stuff. So chill with the 'tude, darling, and lighten up.... you're starting to sound like these silly boys