Dear Stasis

I wish I was this funny.
frown.gif

Of course the Mighty Thor has been reading too many Marvel Comics about himself...
 
You guys are REALLY starting to piss me off.
I think a few suicide bombers may be in order.
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"there is but one God,
Allah, and Mohammed
is his prophet."
 
Holy Ghost: You think *YOU* get lost in the shuffle? Shit man, they didnt even put this miggah in the bible! I mean come on, that picture of the Divine Supper, I go to take a dump, and then the next thing I know, here;s this portrait, and Im not even in it! WTF is that all about. I was the one who gave my nigga hey-suess that wole water into wine idea in the first place. dayam. i Get know respect. and of course, the bible, written by a bunch of biggoted crackers doesnt even MENTION me. That is some bullshit.
now, this Stasis cat..he seems alright..but come on...with as much Weed as this guy smokes, he couldnt POSSIBLY be god. i mean, at least god has SOME motivation. NOw hey-suess..you all know that fool smoked some weed. i mean, Jesus was a carpenter...he was building a better bong!
and damn, that mary..what a piece of ASS!!! I remember this one night, we just go tshit faced and ended up in a stable and..oh shit...um..nevermind that last story...
anyway, y'allz all gotz some shit to work out man. get rid of the Ego's. One Love. ..what is it that those raver kids say... PLUR?
oh, and Beelz... you got some fine ass, big tittied bitches down there, ill be back to visit soon!
keep it real, niggahs. Im Out!
-Rufus
 
"Diety Campaign 2000, Vote now"
You should base your vote on many things.
First off, What can your diety do for you?Well I offer paradise with very little to ask of you. I ask you pray, fast occasionally, and pay homage to a cow. Forget all that sacrificing and donations. I believe you earned it, it should be yours.
Second, What do your dieties really look like? Well you have the guy with the halo, the guy with the horns (there are a few of these people), the women (be wary of them especially), and many others. How many of them are a "BLUELIGHT" friendly color of BLUE and have many arms to do many different things. Cracker holder, K dispenser, you name it I can do it.
Vote for me and paradise will be yours. If you don't I will be forced to bitch slap you all with my many arms. Believe me, I can do it!!!
Signed,
Krishna (the true bluelight diety)
 
ARMS? I HAVE ARMS FOR YOU! I HAVE SO MANY ARMS THAT I CAN WHIP YOUR ASS, DO YOUR WHIPPETS AND....
BANG!
EEEEEEEK! GLUG GLUG GLUG GLUG....
 
New decry from the head office of Krishna,
For my ceremonial blessings, G will now become the official anointing fluid. The rest of you have your holy waters and such, but I believe G will be of use to my subjects and make them far easier to control. It's also a safety measure for them to in order to avoid being bitch slapped by me when they cross the line.
Also, I've decided to search for a running mate in my upcoming elections to combat the many foes (god, jesus, thor, and many others) that are running against me for your souls....errr... votes. Who will join me??
Signed,
Krishna
(Bluelight friendly and a non-abrasive cleaning solution in many South American countries)
 
Hey, Krishna - speaking of "controlling", I'd like to thank you for years of being my personal little hand puppet.
And Allah - you think you have the market cornered on suicide bombers? Think again, my friend. You might have the religious zealots on your side, but I have the true psychos - and they are greater in numbers, and as individuals.
All these wanna-be's...
Think I'm gonna get the machinery back out in front of MiNiMoWs' office so I can get her evil thoughts churning again. I swear, when I listen to her thoughts for a while, I need to take a shower afterwords because I just "feel" dirty.
I LOVE that.
 
Listen up!
First of all:
Yeah, I kept my legs shut so GOD could implant the No thankful Brat Jesus into me......OH yes! I walked for freaking miles on end to give birth in a barn (yes joseph let me right that mule for bit but we did have luggage) and wtf happens? Three Wisemen show up and give the kid gifts!!! I did all the pushing and he gets the gifts. GOD I think you messed up there somewhere.
I raise the Brat and and then I sort of fade out of the story and show up as something special with the catholics? oh yeah, that is right with the priest and nuns that can not screw what am i a no sex idol!!!! I am not impressed with that position.
And does Jesus call his mother oh hell no! Boy start learn respect. I agree you did your little hook me up on the cross for the sinners. But it is about time you try some new stuff going. Natives are relestless for your return.
NOW !!! I May pick on my own!
BUT Beelzebub, and Devil ? wana go up against the Mother of all mothers?
Cause I have the numbers to all your moms and I can just picture both of you getting yanked by your ealobes with a your yapping mothers chewing you out!
well I am out. gotta listen to a few Hell Marys and I off to bed
Virgin Mary ( that virgin part gets me everytime)
 
Yo, Virgin baby - I can help you with that little "condition" if you like.
smile.gif

Fess up. You and good ol' Joseph were rutting like rabbits, weren't you? I'm betting you were. Then your mom says, "Pregnant??? You little..." and you, horrified - "But I don't understand! I'm pure! I'd NEVER do anything like that! Must be a miracle!"
Uh-huh. Whatever.
 
A FOAF channeled the following message from Ahura Mazda:
"What are *you* complaining about, Holy Spirit?! Nobody knows that I even fuckin' exist! I have like, what--three followers?!
If you're really taking this hard, you should join your local chapter of Forgotten Deities Anonymous, also known as the FDA."
 
All systems in nature that have a beginning must have an ending as well. This includes any number of omniscient beings or groveling underlings with delusions of grandeur. Don't question me on this, I'm Entropy's Bitch, you don't want to get on my bad side.
So millions of years from now, when all these gods and evil minions have been dispatched due to the eventual destruction/collapse of the human consciouness (system of nature...you know the drill), I'll still be around to taunt the next crop of divine wannabes on Vega 4.
And with that, I bid you all a fond adieu.
smile.gif

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I am your worst bellyache gone horribly awry.
 
Beelzebub (also known as the bitch who was thrown down, much like a little annoying red headed step child, from heaven)
I think you do have your crazies, but come on.... I have my people believing a cow is sacred above even peoples lives.
Not to mention the idea of karma. I don't have to perform any of those stupid miracles like the other dieties and I don't even have to "possess" people to get them to believe in me. They do shit for me based on a bull shit ideological system.
I think you deserve a six handed he man bitch slap, oh reject of the higher plain.
Signed,
Krishna (Eastern religeon procreate and translated into "who's your daddy" in many religeous texts)
 
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Okay....Entropy's Bitch is winning thus far...anyone want to attempt to top this one?
Entropy's bitch....bwahahahahahahaaaaaa.
Krishna (Eastern religeon procreate and translated into "who's your daddy" in many religeous texts)
Click to expand...
That's pretty damned funny too...so you can't sleep either eh?
[This message has been edited by FoX (edited 21 October 2000).]
 
JESUS CHRIST!!!!!
If I knew what a whiney little biatch you were going to turn out to be I would have just drowned your ass when I had the chance and called it a day!
 
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