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  • Film & TV Moderators: ghostfreak

Television Danny Dyer

N

Ninae

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 18, 2010
Messages
4,522
He's been my celebrity crush for a long time (most guys will probably hate me for this). Even now he's getting old and fat I can't resist his charm. Anyone else feel the same way?
 
Those were the first and the last tweets I'll ever read.

This guy is a dick-head.

How strapped for entertainment are people, that they want to read some wanker's comments about ducks in a pond?

Jesus, that shit is boring.

The fact that he writes "bollocks", and "em" instead of "them", doesn't make him more interesting.
 
^ he's a walking joke in the UK. Don't worry, no one really takes him seriously, besides maybe OP.
 
He thinks he's so hard but he's so soft. That's what's nice about him. I like him because he emanates so much love.

There was this crappy documentary he did where they dressed him up as a geek and he looked himself in the mirror and laughed and said "I look like a right brainy fucker and I like that".

Yes, he would because in real life he's pretty dim, but photogenic.
 
ForEverAfter said:
Those were the first and the last tweets I'll ever read.

This guy is a dick-head.

How strapped for entertainment are people, that they want to read some wanker's comments about ducks in a pond?

Jesus, that shit is boring.

The fact that he writes "bollocks", and "em" instead of "them", doesn't make him more interesting.
Click to expand...


You don't get it. It's his form of humour. He's the kind that sees humour in everything.

Well done. How can he not make you laugh?
 
I'd actually like to retract my statements. Since posting them, I've fully investigated the appeal of Danny Dyer and it is - indeed - undeniable and universal. I guess, when I called him a dick-head, I was just scared of my own limitations. Your love of Dyer threatened me, to the extent that I had to lash out against him. My envy of your relationship with Danny was overwhelming. It sent me - initially - into a self-destructive downward spiral. I cursed God. I self-harmed, too, carving a series of parallel scar-lines into the shaft of my penis with a blunt razor blade. Finally, I came to the conclusion that the only thing that could possibly save me was a Danny Dyer marathon.

Now, I get it.

Like you said, he acts like a tough cunt but - really - he's soft; he's dim witted, yet angelically photogenic; and, of course, his unparalleled ability to see the humour in the most unlikely of situations. It is not possible, I think, in retrospect, to deny his ability to make me (and everyone else) laugh. I sincerely apologize for indicating otherwise.

I know it's probably not an adequate excuse, but I have serious psychological problems.

Sometimes I pee the bed.
 
LOL, that's a bit excessive, no need to take it that seriously.

I know he's not hard. Men in my family are hard and he's not like that for sure. But that's part of why I like him. There's only so much you can take of all that.

He's like a child in a man's body but that type of personality has an appeal as well, for me, as then we're on the same wave length. And he's not like Mick. Mick is mature and thoughtful, Danny isn't, but can act that way with a script.
 
I wasn't being sarcastic. I want to have his babies, but - since I'm a man - I'm going to have to wait until technology catches up with my desire to bear the next generation of little Danny Dyer boys and girls. In the meantime, I'm going to send him a letter with a pre-paid envelope and a vial for depositing his semen.
 
By the way, just because of this discussion I had a dream about Danny this morning. It even continued after I had to get up and pee. Nice dream.

To be honest, I was practically stalking him. I got as far as exchanging phone numbers before I woke up. All it took was to whisper something flattering in his ear before he got away, can't remember what it was, "I think you're so special" or something like that.

I'd be interested in seeing this dream continue but dreams are bastards like that.
 
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I always find other people's dreams fascinating. Particularly, in this case. In fact, I'd love to know the exact words you whispered into his hear. The memory may not be accessible on the surface of your consciousness, but I believe it is there - somewhere - buried in deep your psyche. I'm not sure the best way to retrieve it is... Maybe some sort of vague device, like the one in Inception, that allows people to inexplicably navigate through the sub-conscious?

Alas, I fear we're going to have to play the waiting game with technology again.

If you happen to remember any more details, in the meantime, promise me that you'll let me know.
 
Hahah. I didn't imagine anyone would find that interesting. It was a very realistic dream, though.

I find you can interact with anyone in dreams, that you subconsciously desire, but it's usually a one-off and don't continue. Or, I'm not a serial dreamer. But I think anyone are available to see in a dream if you want it enough, although that was the first with him in particular.

He was just like he is in real life, just a bit younger. I didn't exactly stalk him, either, I'm not really a stalker. We just met and got talking at this place, then we were going in the same direction, so we were walking around together looking at things for a while.

I was feeling in love (I'm not in love with him in real life) but sensed he could slip away at any moment so I made an effort to keep him around until I could pin him down.

Don't remember exactly what I said, but I'm good at seeing people's good qualities, so it was probably something true to life that he found flattering. It would have been a few of the things I've mentioned in this thread or other obvious qualities about him. I didn't really think it over and just said the first I could think of (think he reacted more to the emotion than what I said, anyway).
 
I had a dream about him last night, too. Weird. I don't know if this is too forward, but I'd like to propose something. Not sure if you're into it. I think both of us should meditate and focus all of our energy on Dyer so that we can enter his dream state on the astral plane and have a sort of sub-conscious threesome. I'm not sure where you are situated in the world, but we're probably going to have to take into account time differences in order to synchronize our efforts. I'm in the southern / eastern hemispheres. I assume you're from the UK, somewhere? The thing is, if we have any chance of pulling this off, Dyer has to be sleeping. Assuming he's in England at the time - and if not, I'll know, because I'm tracking him via twitter (I'm NOT a stalker) - we should probably start meditating at around 2:00am local English time...

Are you accustomed to the astral plane?

Have you been to the SAR County chasm before?
 
I knew you must be Australian when I saw the phrase "tough cunt"

[video=youtube_share;d-SUhJT3g1c]http://youtu.be/d-SUhJT3g1c[/video]
 
ForEverAfter said:
I had a dream about him last night, too. Weird. I don't know if this is too forward, but I'd like to propose something. Not sure if you're into it. I think both of us should meditate and focus all of our energy on Dyer so that we can enter his dream state on the astral plane and have a sort of sub-conscious threesome. I'm not sure where you are situated in the world, but we're probably going to have to take into account time differences in order to synchronize our efforts. I'm in the southern / eastern hemispheres. I assume you're from the UK, somewhere? The thing is, if we have any chance of pulling this off, Dyer has to be sleeping. Assuming he's in England at the time - and if not, I'll know, because I'm tracking him via twitter (I'm NOT a stalker) - we should probably start meditating at around 2:00am local English time...

Are you accustomed to the astral plane?

Have you been to the SAR County chasm before?
Click to expand...


Wow, this sounds crazier than anything I've ever thought of.
Would be willing to give it a try though.
I have experiences from the higher astral level where you can create wishful scenarios.

What did you dream?

I'm just one hour ahead of England and guess he goes to go to bed early now he's committed to a soap.

It was probably wathching some documentaries of him before I went to bed that did it.


This is a great one -



Shows him as a genuninly lovely person and it's hard not to love him.

I'm not blind to his faults, but think his good qualities make up for it.

Stalking Danny Dyer on the Astral, then. Sounds normal.

But he has to make himself available if we want it enough.
At least I've experienced this many times.
 
Don't worry. I have a lot of experience forcing myself into people's psyches.

It doesn't have to be consensual. We'll mind rape him. You and me.
 
LOL, that sounds really intrusive. The way I see it, you can't really get into other people's dreams, but you can draw them into yours as they'll just send a fragment of their soul your way for you to interact with. At least I've never had an experience of intruding on someone's dreams on purpose.

So I think we might manage to get him into our own dreams, but I doubt we'll be there in his, or even with each other as it's him we'll be focusing on. Anyway, last night I was feeling a bit edgy and not really in the mood for Danny Dyer, so it probably wouldn't have worked. And now it's the weekend so he'll be going to sleep later. It will have to be before a workday, so Sunday night at the earliest.

By the way, make sure to ask him who killed Lucy. I bet Dominic Treadwell-Collins didn't see that one coming.
 
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