witllllI should add that I'm slow-witted as fuck. It takes me several seconds to grasp something negative aimed at me. Also, my eyes; over the years I've seen in photos/selfies, my eyes appear "blank" or "vacant" ... as though there's nothing going on upstairs. And this can not be changed. Oh well, I guess that's life. I just have to make the best out of a bad situation.
Anxiety and feeling I teuded upon and not wanting to be so sharp anyway can easily explain this.
I'm a communications professional and I have a
quick wit - but if I'm grumpy and annoyed or not wanting to snip at a negativity someone said to me...
Sometimes I actually phase out what.people say and literally don't understand. It's cause of an autonomic response to filter out certain things. It's obviously good to he aware of things..
But you live in a world of perceived negativity and you do in fact get some flak for your attitudes Michael. Do you even want a quick wit to throw back?
Work on ignoring that, thinking nicer thoughts about yourself,
and other people (I've been following your threads for over 2 years you're a mean one sometimes( and say NICE things OUT LOUD.
SAY NICE THINGS OUT LOUD
pray to your own head a nice compliment before bed. Feel all the weirdness andi security and humiliating self reflection and DO IT AGAIN.
Conquering a thought process, and abating a complex set off thoughts related to emotions, traumatic experience..
you're totally traumatized btw and continuing this cycle of negativity is reinforcing it - it's sad but you don't need to be sad or down or angry or self loathing even more..
Your problem is those are your go-to places. You're reliving a building conspiracy of you against your stupid low IQ and ugly face and dim wit and stuff all the time.
I think, a solid guess, you're probably around 120IQ. You aren't accurate how you're reflecting in your dysfunction. But your capacity for words,explanation, and connecting so e pretty complex weaves is pretty fucking insightful to me.. I dont think you're dumb at all.
I'd challenge you this is you ever start feeling better. Post a selfie intue selfie thread in the lounge. You'll get good responses. I promise.
Why the hell could you possibly be so ugly and whatever? No one believes it your way except you? I just see someone with shitty mental health care, not enough quality friends or Insightfuo and trusted family members, and someone needs to get you pointed in a direction somehow so that you can believe some of this!
You're doj g yourself in. But other peoe are failing you too. Every counselor and person you confided this to who ei to get couldn't or didn't turn this around a bit for you wasn't enough.
You need a more ci sitent message from others that defies your story. You also need to believe it a little, but In sorry that you haven't had the consistent positive feedback you clearly need badly
That's what you want isn't it? Good responses and nice things to happen with people? Not feeling humiliatwd for using escorts and more confidence with women?
Stephen Hawking went to clubs regularly and he had fun. It wasn't the money. There is no money in the world that made that physically decrepit,immovable, crooked melted looking sideways old geek clout in a club with women. It wasn't his genius. His fucking thing wouldn't even work well in that environment to talk. Too quiet a speaker.
It's the fucking balls he had to go, and I bet he was a nice and nice acting person who could be genuinely sexy with a more confident approach. An approach at all is the key for many
You have an approach. If you have the balls to get escorts and rate women on apps, you can go so e other routes and rate more nicely and keep going. No clsuccrss if failure. Just next time.
And bege nice to yourself FFS there is no way you're dumb and NO ONE is that ugly.
The dic who suggest schizo did youamajor disservice btw. I don't believe it at all from.years of reading your posts occasionally.