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Damn my low IQ!

M

Michael_25

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 19, 2009
Messages
703
I've been tested my a clinical psychologist back in 2011 and the results came back as me being in the "high average" range. I have my doubts about this, though. I have trouble carrying on a non-stilted conversation. And I'm slow on the uptake -- it takes me a while to understand what's being said. Obviously, girls don't want some dude with a sub-par IQ. I understand that. However, I can't just improve my intelligence -- it's genetic. So I'm rather physically unattractive in addition to being of sub-par intelligence.

I heard women find intelligent men a turn-on. Therefore, in my case, it's a turn-off. I'm thick as shit and struggle with conversation. My biggest peeve: I cannot improve. I cannot boost my IQ, as it's inherent. What's a low IQ guy got to do in order to develop a relationship. Low IQ = Major turn-off.
 
For every Jack there is a Jill.

I see it all the time. People that never think they will find a significant other and then a all of the sudden they are in a relationship.

Gotta look for people that are like you. Whether we are fat, skinny, black, white, hairy, ugly, loud mouthed, shy, green eyes, no eyes, deaf, low IQ, no IQ. good cook, bad cook, introvert, extrovert or just plain ol' John Boy from the Waltons.

The more we disparage ourselves with our faults, the more we come to believe them. When we are confident of ourselves, regardless of our short comings , we open ourselves to meeting someone.

You can sit at home and feel sorry for yourself or you can get up, dress up, and hit up whatever you want. Rejection, and acceptance, are all part of the game we play all of our lives.
 
You’re way too negative about yourself. That itself might be one of the biggest turn-offs for women.
Maybe you don’t even have a low IQ, you just said you were tested by a professional. It seems like the communication issues you’ve been experiencing are caused by something else.

Try to do things that improve your confidence and work on becoming someone you would date if you were a woman. Also lower your standards a bit.
 
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You absolutely CAN do something about the low IQ thing, btw. Maybe you can’t improve your basic intelligence, but you can read and improve your KNOWLEDGE. If you have a good foundation of knowledge of subjects you are interested in, and chat with women about those, then it will help your case. Bonus points if you like a wide variety of subjects; it makes you look well-rounded.

Good luck to you!
 
Confidence is key, self belief is also key. What are your strong points? What do you enjoy? Focus on yourself for a while, do some work on your self esteem because you badly need it. You can throw a pity party or you can do some introspection and work on things you need to work on.

Be confident is the best advice I could give you because once you are confident and believe in yourself it shines through. I always notice the most confident person in a room and the kind that isn’t someone just being cocky.

Find something you love to do and enjoy it, forget about finding a partner for a while and work on loving yourself!
 
Tbh IQ has fuck all to do with people's ability to find a partner.
Think of all the idiots there are in the world happily fucking away.

What was your iq? Did you get a number? Sounds like you're greatly overthinking this. There's many women out there with similar or lower IQs.

It's probably your confidence that needs work. I assume it hasn't taken 11 years for your results to come back and you are no longer in therapy?
 
axe battler said:
What was your iq? Did you get a number? Sounds like you're greatly overthinking this. There's many women out there with similar or lower IQs.
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110, which is in the high-average range. But seriously, if girls believe you're intellectually handicapped then it's game over. Even striking up a bromance is hard when you literally cannot hold a conversation. I've been diagnosed, many years ago, with social anxiety disorder, and that ain't exactly helping, either.

I live a life of solitude because I'm not accepted by my peers. I'm the butt-end of a joke to them.

BK38 said:
School, exercise and a therapist to work on your self esteem
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Went through college, got a bachelor's and masters of marketing. It hasn't done shit for me. I've been seeing a therapist for a little while now but I'm making little headway. As for exercise, it's been on and off since I've been treated with disrespect from both staff and patrons.

axe battler said:
tbh IQ has fuck all to do with people's ability to find a partner.
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Girls do not want anything to do with a handicapped person. Instead, I'm a source of their amusement.
MsDiz said:
Confidence is key, self belief is also key
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How the fuck do you gain confidence and self-esteem when you're shitted on a near-daily basis? Trust me, I've been insulted so many times over the years that if I told you the number you wouldn't believe me.
xtcgrrrl said:
You absolutely CAN do something about the low IQ thing, btw. Maybe you can’t improve your basic intelligence, but you can read and improve your KNOWLEDGE.
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I do read a fair bit (escapism). But into never translates to when I'm speaking to people in real life. As I wrote, I'm slow on the uptake and it can take me a few seconds before my brain registers what has been said.
Nurse Ratched said:
The more we disparage ourselves with our faults, the more we come to believe them.
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People actually tell me these things.
 
Michael_25 said:
How the fuck do you gain confidence and self-esteem when you're shitted on a near-daily basis? Trust me, I've been insulted so many times over the years that if I told you the number you wouldn't believe me.
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You gain it by remembering that you can’t control what other people say but you can control how you react and feel about it. You need to let those insults roll off you like water off a ducks back. Is that hard to do? Yes, it is but learning how to do that will make your life much easier.

You need to get up in the morning and you need to speak to yourself kindly, what are your good traits? Give yourself a pep talk every morning in the mirror, give yourself a little talk before you go to sleep about the things you’ve accomplished that day (they don’t need to be big things, sometimes getting out of bed is an achievement) and praise yourself for it. Any time someone insults you, you tell yourself, in your head, the exact opposite and do that every time. Does this sound silly? It does, but it works.

Your motto should be “what other people think of me has more to do about them than it does about me.” Which is also the truth, people like to project onto vulnerable people because they get away with it as that person doesn’t push back.

Build yourself up, it will take time but it is possible. Be positive, stop saying something won’t work before you’ve even tried it. What’s the harm in trying?
 
One thing that I learned from DBT (dialectic behavior therapy) is to take any negative thoughts that you have and flip them around. Like, if you’re thinking, “nobody likes me, I’m a total loser” stop yourself and say, “I’m not a loser, I’m a winner! Not everyone will always like me, but many people do!” Etc. So every time you’re thinking negatively, counter the thought with a positive one. Eventually, this becomes habit. How you talk to yourself in your head matters; it has a direct impact on your self-esteem. It worked for me!
 
xtcgrrrl said:
One thing that I learned from DBT (dialectic behavior therapy) is to take any negative thoughts that you have and flip them around. Like, if you’re thinking, “nobody likes me, I’m a total loser” stop yourself and say, “I’m not a loser, I’m a winner! Not everyone will always like me, but many people do!” Etc. So every time you’re thinking negatively, counter the thought with a positive one. Eventually, this becomes habit. How you talk to yourself in your head matters; it has a direct impact on your self-esteem. It worked for me!
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Exactly my point, this is a method used and it does work. Counteracting those negative thoughts to make them positive will make a difference. It does work but it takes time and it takes practice.
 
Michael_25: women want nothing to do ith someone who is handicapped.
Utter bollocks. Some men have that sort of attitude, but much less so women. I used to think that, as a teenager, but at about age 18, I found that it didn't count for fuck all, with most women, if you can be a sparkling personality (having lost my left hand, aged 13 is pretty fucking handicapped). The girl I lost my virginity with, had noticed me playing in a band and was curious as to how I learned to play bass, with one hand. So I just let the conversation flow without my usual overthinking things (a tab of green window pane acid will do that). Next thing I know, on the way home, I got lots of mates asking how I pulled a really good looking woman, off my head on acid (I thought I'd just imagined I had a date). Cue psychedekic enhanced learning ie don't fucking overthink things.
Since then, I've not had a problem talking to a woman I find attractive, by just being a person who doesn't put barriers up mentally, before opening my mouth. Some haven't been that interested (one told me to fuck off): more fool them, in my opinion. Quite a few were and things went from there. Being well read and seeing the funny side of things counts for a lot - it's what worked with all three long term partners.
Don't be afraid to take the piss out of yourself occasionally. Doing such conveys the impression that you are more than happy with yourself and women love confidence (note: confidence, not arrogance).
Basically, if a one handed, long haired, scruffy hippie can do it, almost everyone can. Just have faith and you will be rewarded 😁
 
MsDiz said:
You gain it by remembering that you can’t control what other people say but you can control how you react and feel about it. You need to let those insults roll off you like water off a ducks back. Is that hard to do? Yes, it is but learning how to do that will make your life much easier.

You need to get up in the morning and you need to speak to yourself kindly, what are your good traits? Give yourself a pep talk every morning in the mirror, give yourself a little talk before you go to sleep about the things you’ve accomplished that day (they don’t need to be big things, sometimes getting out of bed is an achievement) and praise yourself for it. Any time someone insults you, you tell yourself, in your head, the exact opposite and do that every time. Does this sound silly? It does, but it works.

Your motto should be “what other people think of me has more to do about them than it does about me.” Which is also the truth, people like to project onto vulnerable people because they get away with it as that person doesn’t push back.

Build yourself up, it will take time but it is possible. Be positive, stop saying something won’t work before you’ve even tried it. What’s the harm in trying?
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My approach, after my first few doses of psychedelics was," nobody knows me better than me, so anybody being insulting, is just showing their ignorance". Of course, over the years, this has developed into what is sometimes biting and vicious sarcasm, which I can't really recommend (unless you're British! 😆), but as the last two posts have commented, you have to stay with the program and not expect sudden massive results (or to use a phrase I borrowed from 'Revenge of the Pink Panther', when his boss is recovering in an asylum - "every day, in every way, I'm getting better and better" 🙂)
 
MsDiz said:
You gain it by remembering that you can’t control what other people say but you can control how you react and feel about it.
Click to expand...
True. I just don't react to any type of criticism. It just wouldn't achieve much. I can challenge the remark in my head, though.
xtcgrrrl said:
One thing that I learned from DBT (dialectic behavior therapy) is to take any negative thoughts that you have and flip them around. Like, if you’re thinking, “nobody likes me, I’m a total loser” stop yourself and say, “I’m not a loser, I’m a winner! Not everyone will always like me, but many people do!”
Click to expand...
So this self-affirmation stuff really works? I've never tried, but will now try incorporating it into my life.
MsDiz said:
“what other people think of me has more to do about them than it does about me.”
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Yep. Been told this before. I don't get it. I see all types of people when I'm out and about and never make a snide/rude remark towards them.
 
schizopath said:
I was tested in army too. Result were "very high intelligence (basically above 130)". Can only keep up meaningful conversations with wise or intelligent people. Or with sarcastic people now that I think of it. Small talk is like ooof to me. Fucking hate it. Why waste time on such bullshit?
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After doing teacher training, where one 'fun' exercise is to put yourself through an IQ test, I came to the conclusion that they suffer from really bad cultural biases, as well as several other inbalances that give a bias towards caucasian males. Anyone flaunting an IQ test result just makes me want to belittle the whole process, as it's not that accurate a measure of intelligence (mentioning that any test that gave a knacker like me a rating that would get me into Mensa was horribly flawed, stopped any, "you're just jealous" comments 😁).
 
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