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Controlled heroin use anyone?

I could control it during the day because pods and raw opium kept me on the level but once i got home i would smash smoking gear . During 13 years of use it worked i loved work with a opium buzz going on. Once i smoked some in the morning drank my pod tea and it kicked in i was the most polite lorry driver you could meet never any road rage . Even during my crank days i would work shit loads of hours working on drugs is easy its when you get clean and have to do it a job you loved you start to hate
 
i held down a job while on heroin but it was shit, i hated myself.

i used to feel like i couldn't get through life without anything. and tbh without a fuckton of therapy i couldn't. and therapy doesn't work while you're fucked up so there is a chicken and egg.

even if you can meet your kids physical needs you will not be emotionally there while on opiates and they will pick up on it.
 
If you never have to worry about not having enough, you can lead a stable life pretty much indefinitely *if* your goal isn't getting completely obliviated, which was never mine, so it never really interfered with an otherwise normal life while I had unlimited access. But eventually, almost all people, are going to reach a point where supply issues or financial issues make stability impossible, which will eventually lead to shit like being too sick to work, or showing up late because your damn dealer is obnoxiously late and you're definitely not going in before you see him. Your tolerance goes up and up and up, mine finally stopped increasing further at one point, but that was with a habit with a mid-level buy cost of $250k a year, when oxy cost half its current street price. Planning on controlled use forever isn't going to work.
 
I can't get through life without something but I thought heroin would save me money an it absolutely did not. Pills I can control how much I take everyday for many years now but heroin hits with full effects too too quick an effects just go down quick. Idk but I couldn't stop using h all day an I worked for about a year before I needed to spend all day dealing with the addiction an stupid high ass tolerance an just constant sickness.
 
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