over 10 years rolling here. the first 3 years i used it very consecutively, almost every weekend, sometimes multiple times per week. this produced short-term problems such as emotional volatility. lost the magic and stopped for over a year then began rolling again, it felt like my first time all over again. then rolled anywhere from once a week every couple of weeks to taking a break for a few months. it was very off and on. i've done ridiculous amounts for days in a row which led to extreme short-term problems, incredibly strong emotions, nightmares, sleep paralysis, unable to sleep more than 3-4 hours per night yet felt perfectly rested and full of energy. this would only last 1 week, 2 weeks tops. i have built up a massive tolerance on numerous occasions and if i take a break for close to 6 months, my tolerance always drops considerably to where it feels amazing again. in other words, i've always been able to regain the magic after a long break.
all the problems i've faced from it have been short-term from overdoing it (there have been some cycles of abuse / overdoing it). i've found that lots of exercise helps considerably with stabilizing mood and getting a more regular sleep pattern when enduring serotonin depletion. serotonin depletion isn't always a negative thing for me, my emotions are heightened to a very strong degree. so whatever emotion i'm feeling is amped up exponentially. if it's a beautiful day and i'm happy, i feel incredibly happy. if a friend is going through a difficult time, i feel strong empathy and feel depressed on their behalf, so depressed that i feel borderline crushed over them feeling down. if i'm stressed at work then my anxiety is through the roof. i find that emergency benzos save my ass but when they're not available i spend tons of time focusing on exercise / protein supplements and that works miracles. 5-htp is a lifesaver too of course but i only opt to take 5-htp when i'm in a down or negative mood. when i'm happy during serotonin depletion i'm incredibly happy and the 5-htp blunts the emotions so i only use it during negative emotions, so i can enjoy the extreme happiness where i feel incredibly alive due to emotions being so strong / raw. i've gotten good at dealing with serotonin depletion to the point where even my wife can't usually tell when i'm enduring it. once those short-term problems pass then i don't feel any long-term negative effects. when i took my first long break away from rolling during the 3rd year, i felt jaded to life in general for several months and this was difficult. i couldn't get too excited or too mad over much of anything. but i think this was due to my mindstate because i was thinking that was perhaps the last solid run with mdma i might ever have. since then i've taken long breaks and not felt like that at all, after serotonin depletion i feel like my normal self again and enjoy deeper bonds with the close few friends that i roll with, a lot of the bonds are built through the great experiences we've had together rolling and also tripping.
the only issue that worries me is how 5-ht releasers and agonists can effect the heart. i've rolled so many times and overdone it so many times, plus being a big fan of psychedelics, that i wonder if i may run into heart valve disease and such. i'd like to slow down my consumption and i know with age i will be forced to, as the hangovers have gotten a little tougher to recover from since a decade ago. but i've chosen quality over quantity as far as life goes. i just need to choose quality over quantity with my drug consumption because in these situations less is more, slow down to once a month or less than that would be a nice goal. but i'm a pushover and am easily convinced to take part, when it comes to rolls and tripping.
some beneficial things have come from rolling in my life. i am a less self-centered person, i am much less materialistic than i used to be and i'm much more content with myself as a person. the tripping helped trigger that as well, i feel rolling and tripping both made an impact as far as that goes. i used to be very materialistic but rolling was definitely responsible for doing away with that. teaching me that experiences with people you love are the most important thing in life, it made materialism seem ridiculous. i still like a nice sized tv cuz i like watching tv but i used to buy things to show off and rolling killed that early on during my first year of rolling actually. i also used to be a heavy drinker when i was young and i eventually stopped drinking alcohol altogether during my first 6 months of rolling. it's a long story as to why, etc, but i haven't drank alcohol since then and have no desire to drink alcohol ever again. i used to smoke weed everyday but stopped that as well. the reason for that was because rolling and tripping so much changed the high i got from weed, made it much less enjoyable. i didn't get relaxed, lazy, chill from it like i used to. the more i rolled/tripped the more the high became more psychedelic in an unenjoyable and confusing way. i'm less egotistical in general and having less focus on me pumping up my own ego has given me energy to focus on other things, reading and learning new things is something that is a repeating cycle in my life now. i feel that's a very healthy thing to make a part of your life, to always pursue new knowledge.
