conciousness expanison

[Void]

Ok so a while back I was at a point where I had a few minor spiritual experiences. They were spontaneous and unexpected. Generally speaking I didn’t know anything about them, but after having these experiences it got me to research and read up on ‘em. So I pulled information off the internet about oobe, astral projection and mediation. Yet at the same time it was only very broad, general information, mainly from newage type websites. It didn’t go into any major specifics and so at that point I didn’t have any realisation about the impact this stuff not only had on our history, but how fundamental it is to the human condition.

At that point I figured spiritual experiences were a type of hiccups that occurred every now and then, that most people simply ignored. I thought that the spiritual experience was something mainly pursued by people in the loony bin (or who should probably be in there) and drug addicts who wanted to justify their addiction. So I got to the point where I made a kind of ultimatum, at such and such time I’d have a spiritual experience, or I’d just forget about it and not focus on it at all. I am sure that if I hadnt had a few of these experiences, I’d most likely not have known about them at all, or even accepted them as a possiblity of our reality. It’s not like we are taught about them, or even told they exist.

Now to do this experiment I read up on such experiences, how to get into them, and what others have gone through. I tried to open myself up to the possibility and realise what it would mean. The pro’s and con’s, the side effects, the responsibility and consequences of it all and also about ego and what blocks such experiences. I just figured that if it is possible then it would happen, and made a type of mantra from that. If it didnt happen then stuff it, I’d just dismiss it from then on as some idealised dream that has no bearing in the life of a rational person. The stage was set.

Well, it all started with a thought. I had forgotten about all of this, the experiment and ultimatum, and just thought, “well, here I am”. By doing that I focused on what was around me, where I was, who was around here, and myself. Then I felt a feeling of pure happiness. I think thats a good catalist, to use pure positive emotions like happiness, joy, ect. It helps you put your guard down and slip from one level of awarness to another, I didnt know this back then, the feeling just happened and it only lasted a second or two before the energy came rushing in.

And what energy it was. Absolutely amazing and lasted for several hours. The experience went beyond anything I could have imagined, and it included things I didnt know about at the time like chakra, energy body, and other stuff. Its very real, pure, and definately worth the effort.

 

[Molybdenum]

Thanks... gotta sleep soon so I will respond more tomorrow.

Anyway, it sounds like for both of us the actual "flash" was pretty short. Also we each had a mantra, an accelerating factor.

But unlike me you got all of the energy flow and stayed in a very high place for a long time afterwards. I think a combination of my personality at the time and starting to be stoned kind of killed a lot of it off quickly (although there was still some extra energy, I didn't sleep well that night at all and had a lot more small insights into relatively mundane matters). Were you basically "shown" things like chakras and energy bodies? Were you in control after the flash, or were you still gripped by the energy, or did "you" still not make any sense as a concept?

In my experience, I think if I hadn't dropped back down so fast there could have been more exploring... in fact I think there was some information transfer, but it didn't get encoded very well because my ego popped right back up and went into self-defense mode. Reading your post is sort of stirring the waters of my foggy memory.

Have you had the flash happen again since, or have your techniques mostly gotten you to visit the nearby high places?

 

[Void]

Not sure what you mean by shown chakras, and I dont think I had a flash of light. Just energy rush. I think I should probably go on and type some more or ppl will think its nothing more then a few flashes u might get when u are near exhaustion and passing out, or some other extreme.

 

[nvr2old]

*Boldness, Beckening, Belief, Blessings*

 

[Void]

...heres some more. Dunno how much more I will end up typing. I havent reflect on it in years.

And what energy it was. It came in with several rapid pulses. You know, like lightning. In a single bolt of lightning you get several pulses that are so rapid, it appears as only quick bolt to the naked eye. It was like that, one straight after the other, extremely fast. During this I felt like the world was shaking. Not just like in an earthquake when the ground moves, but everything was shaking, the air, me, everything. Now I assume it was the energy putting my sensory perception into flux as it came on, but back then I had no idea. I asked someone next to me if they felt that but they said no. This was so strong that it caused me to stumble around and almost fall over.

Then everything changed. I almost instantly noticed I was no longer looking through my physical eyes. The point of perception, where my field of vision begun from, was now about an inch infront of my head like on my forehead just between the eyes. As this occurred I noticed a veil lifting. The ‘veil lifting’ is infact a common theme that is stated in many different in-depth spiritual texts, and experience reports, but I hadnt read any of them at the time and had no idea what this was. Picture a black transparent veil rising in front of you, with everything above it ordinary perception, and everything below it this perfect indescribable perception. It was like that, and as it lifted, more and more of this perfect vision encompassed my field of vision until the veil disappeared and all that was left was the indescribably beuty. I am not sure if this veil existed, or if it was just a boarder between the two perceptions created as I went from physical eyes to third eye, I can only speculate now. But the veil itself was as fine and transparent as spiders web only black. Not exactly like it but thats the closest example I got. So there I was, this white middle class teen with very little spiritual experieces, and didnt meditate, who finds himself at the beginning of a real heavy experience, all because I gave the universe an ultimatum.

I remember thinking, “wow”. Now that’s an understatement. Everything was just as it had always been, the world was as it has been all my life, only the way I was seeing it had changed, and I couldnt believe that it was possible to reach such perfection or that creation itself was so breathtaking. You just dont tend to notice these things when your going by your daily life, and I remember thinking it just isnt possible. No one every told me it was possible, people by definition are meant to be incomplete and inperfect.. Although its hard to convince yourself its not real when your in the middle of the experience, its not as if you can close your eyes and wish it away cause your not ready for it. I did ask for something to happen, though I must stress I had no idea, absolutely none, of what would or could actually occur.

Other things were going on as well. I was getting very, very hot. I felt my mouth dry out in seconds. I am not sure if this is a common occurance, but it was literally like sudenly being dropped in a desert. And there was also my heart chakra, which I knew nothing about at the time. Something was pounding into my chest, hard, like I was being punched, and fast. It happened very fast. Not one after the other, but like once every 2-5 seconds or something. A bit harder then a soft punch. Now at that time I had never recieved any rational explination as to anything spiritual related, so I came to the unrational conclusion that I must be having a heart attack. That my heightened awareness must be due to the fact that my heart was beating so extremely fast that it caused the blood to run through my body at an accelerated rate, and so my sensors were performing at an accelerated rate. Sounds absurd, and I realised later on by checking my pulse that it wasnt the case, but you tend to panic a bit when the world stands on its head.

 

[nvr2old]

Sounds like an amazing experience. To see the world through a child's eyes almost. Like when you where little, and you used to laugh at your parents thiinking that they make life so complicating, when it seemed all so simple back then.
Could I ask you Void, what did you ask to happen?
Much Peace

 

[Void]

Could I ask you Void, what did you ask to happen?
Much Peace

I did not ask for anything, just to have a spiritual experience. no details, just an attempt to let go of ego completely.

 

[Molybdenum]

During this I felt like the world was shaking. Not just like in an earthquake when the ground moves, but everything was shaking, the air, me, everything. Now I assume it was the energy putting my sensory perception into flux as it came on, but back then I had no idea. I asked someone next to me if they felt that but they said no. This was so strong that it caused me to stumble around and almost fall over.

I can totally relate to that. Everything was vibrating as I was going "up." I was sitting, dunno if I could have been standing up. I get a similar signature, just not as overpowering, when I meditate nowadays, at least on days where there is a lot of energy and heavy ego resistence (not sure if those are more or less productive days; actually, I'm starting to think the latter). I also notice some vibratory signature, although qualitatively different, on the infrequent occasions I smoke pot or ingest psychedelics, which is why I tend to think of them as a releaser of foreign, temporary ego-dissolving energy into the system.

So there I was, this white middle class teen with very little spiritual experieces, and didnt meditate, who finds himself at the beginning of a real heavy experience, all because I gave the universe an ultimatum.

A lot of people seem to finally get through when they throw everything into it, demand a result because they refuse to wait. Famous ex. would be Jean Huston.

I am not sure if this veil existed, or if it was just a boarder between the two perceptions created as I went from physical eyes to third eye, I can only speculate now. But the veil itself was as fine and transparent as spiders web only black. Not exactly like it but thats the closest example I got.

I didn't see any veil lift, but there was definitely some dampening, darkening perceptual blockage that I had never been aware of before, which was just gone.

I remember thinking, “wow”

That was the first thing I thought too, and it already had a little ego-tinge and I was on my way back down.

everything below it this perfect indescribable perception.

Yup. It was immediately clear to me upon reflection afterwards that you can't describe this so that people who have not "seen" this perfection will understand it, because their perception is has always been veiled and limited so that they have no reference. And in this case, any conceptual imagining is so far off as to be useless. Hence the futility of using words to try to describe the experience.

Something was pounding into my chest, hard, like I was being punched, and fast. It happened very fast. Not one after the other, but like once every 2-5 seconds or something. A bit harder then a soft punch. Now at that time I had never recieved any rational explination as to anything spiritual related, so I came to the unrational conclusion that I must be having a heart attack.

Yeah, my heart chakra was going really fast afterwards now that you mention it, I can't believe I totally forgot about that. It was pushing a lot of energy, obviously. I was also worried about it, but figured I was just starting to get stoned and a little anxious from the experience.

 

[Void]

Molybdenum: Refuse to wait? There is nothing to wait for. You either attempt it with various experimentations, or you never do it, grow old and get too tired or too stuck in ego to do it. Though I didnt realise your perception of reality changed, I thought from your post that you simply got an energy rush and slid back down.

Anyway, what I've writen so far is only the first 15mins. I hadnt fully settled into it yet, and there is still a whole heap of stuff that occured, as in different awarness of stuff within/without. The changes to my state of being and awarness went way further then just that.

 

[Molybdenum]

Refuse to wait? There is nothing to wait for. You either attempt it with various experimentations, or you never do it, grow old and get too tired or too stuck in ego to do it.

No, that's not what I was trying to get across. I was just commenting that often people make half-hearted attempts in a spiritual direction until one day they realize how half-heartedly they've been doing everything, their attitude changes to "fuck this, let's do it," and that is usually when they have a true breakthrough experience. It was more of a comment on the pattern of spiritual breakthroughs than anything about "waiting for the proper time."

Though I didnt realise your perception of reality changed, I thought from your post that you simply got an energy rush and slid back down.

I must have communicated less clearly than I thought. That is the problem with trying to describe the ineffable because there isn't anything to clearly describe and it is so different from ego-bound experiencing. When I kept saying there was a "flash" I was trying to find a word that communicated what a break in perception had occurred while at the same time not making it sound like I was having some peak drug experience where normal sensory input is not present. The break itself was not a rush of any kind, and believe me I've had plenty, although it was proceeded by heavy-duty rushes.

As for the sliding back down... well, from that perspective where is "down" exactly? Gradually, ego-delimiting energies wove themselves back into being. I would say that in a difficult to define way, that full break in percpetion permanently broke the basis of the ego and what remained was seen more as habitual constriction to be gradually released, don't know if that distinction makes sense. I didn't continue to clearly perceive the ineffable, if we can use those words for what happened, for very long, probably because of my lack of grounding at the time, as you pointed out. (Not to mention, ahem, the drug ingestion).

Anyway, what I've writen so far is only the first 15mins. I hadnt fully settled into it yet, and there is still a whole heap of stuff that occured, as in different awarness of stuff within/without. The changes to my state of being and awarness went way further then just that.

Yeah, that's what I'm really interested in because that's where our experiences differ. It sounds like you had a lot happen in one night. Can you go into more detail, I know most of this stuff can be kind of hard to describe? Did some egoic energy returned or was it all burned away in one night?

Cheers

 

[Void]

Well, when I said like the veil was lifted, it was an internal thing as well. It lifted both externally and internally, and thats really where the feeling of wholeness/perfection came from, once it was also gone internally I was capable of much more, able to see within and use internal mechanics such as subconscious.

Egoloss/death was a part of it, there was a huge energy build up and it went down after several house. Ego did return of coarse.

 

[Molybdenum]

it was an internal thing as well

Yep. Very hard to quantify all of the changes and at the same time get across the idea that nothing had really changed, it was just the first time it was perceived without ego-filter.

Egoloss/death was a part of it, there was a huge energy build up and it went down after several house. Ego did return of coarse.

Did you feel like it took several days to recover energetically afterwards, or did it leave you feeling refreshed?

 

[Void]

Well, for me it was the ultimate state a human can aquire, or at least a step towards that. I feel we evolved towards that state, and with that state, for many millions of years. Certainly when your being hunted in the jungle u'd tend to go into trance states, and maybe survive cause of that state.

Some very amazing things occured that go way beyond what I mentioned (more unbelievable), and it brings about new insight and realisation. It is one of the pure things in life that has true meaning and is worth seeking. So it took a while to recover in a lot of ways (nothing serious) and for ego to return, but it was also refreshing. You change a lot of coarse, but its well worth it, and you gain heaps of knowledge. As far as a difficult recovery period goes, I dont think its worse then a bad acid trip, as you have a stable frame of mind all the way through. It was harder for me cause I didnt know such things existed, I guess people who meditate heaps would find it easier, but it was not really hard at all. Though its probably better if you have someone who has been in it to talk you through it, but since we did evolve with that, we have all the internal systems necessary to experience it and more. Though this stuff goes way beyond anything drugs can give ya. It doesnt have any of the negative side effects of drugs.

 

[Molybdenum]

I agree that drugs can't get you there, their energy can only take you to partial, highly confused states of ego loss, although those can still be beneficial. Although I had just smoked marijuana, the experience felt orthogonal to the effects of the drug, i.e. smoking didn't really impact the experience either way and it was more that my breakthrough randomly happened to come right after smoking, which I was doing too much of at the time, rather than some other time during the day. I stand by what I said earlier in this thread, which is that there can be benefits, particularly in spiritually naive subjects, to using psychedelic drugs infrequently and cautiously, but that drugs can't take you all the way, they have substantial dangers and negative side effects, they are no substitute for grounded practice, and they are absolutely not necessary.

I agree that the experience is well worth the effort. At the same time, I think that to focus on having a breakthrough experience to the exclusion of paying attention to the ego you bring to the table in day-to-day life is unbalanced. Without the experience, you won't clearly see how your ego functions in day to day life, and without gradually dissipating your ego through meditative/energetic practices, that experience will not be fully integrated and will be prevented from having maximal impact on how you live your life.

I had a similar adjustment period, I was able to function ok but I know I didn't interact with people fully for a couple weeks afterwards and I was probably not working near peak capacity because in a lot of ways it was a pretty big systemic shock. Kind of like doing a big dose of drugs, but without the same sense of recovering from damage. More just a lot to digest and change, which needed all of my attention and energy. I didn't find it as upsetting as you did maybe because of all the reading I had done, but then I don't think I was grounded as well so most of the loss of ego structure was not immediately after the experience but instead has been more gradual.

It is probably better to have someone to talk it through with, but I don't know if I would really say it's great to have someone working with you heavily during the experience or in its immediate aftermath. Too many directions you might decide on might not be fully appropriate for your path. But then my attitude has always been DIY, which isn't to say it's the right or only attitude to have; it's just a personal preference.

 

[Void]

Yeah, it takes a balance. You dont want to be too lost in fighting ego and lose sight of the big picture.