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Mental Health Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v 8.0

So I tried weed again and still don’t get much out of it. It does help me sleep though but I miss the high that I would get with the giddiness and all that. I don’t know if ketamine is helping and I have two more infusions to go before I decide if it’s for me or not. I’m still hopeful but I’m not gonna lie, it’s really hard to wake up and it’s the same feeling every time. I miss the ideas that were always flowing through my head. I still don’t get much entertainment from tv or social media or being out in nature. I’m scared for my career since I wanted to work in a creative field. I had so many ideas of things I wanted to do with my life after I got out of the hospital and the second shot took that from me.
 
Just wanted to follow up with people as i've gotten some inboxes to see if i'm still alive. I am and I can't believe it. I'm going for my first stem cell treatment on Tuesday.I will let you all know how it went.
 
Hello everyone again ( explicit warning) but can someone who have recovered 100% as a male and is still here could they let me know if they could get as hard as they would before invega because i could get it to grow just not as hard as pre invega and could barely keep it. I also jerk off sometimes because although i can’t get horny naturally when i see sexual stuff on the internet i still am interested and want to please myself. definitely not like before where ill feel horny then masterbate or have sex with someone but i was always and still am a very sexual person so i think mentally im still sexual just not physically with my private area and hormonally i guess. I am only 4 months off invega and was taking wellbutrin but stopped that cuz i realized that wasn’t going to help my problem so if any male that has fully recovered and could explain how their side effects was from invega and how they are after would really help and also let me know if i should stop jerking off because i don’t know if that affects recovery or not but once i start, i cant stop till i finish ( tmi i know) but honestly im curious on if the people who recovered sexually, masterbated throughout recovery or did they stay away from all sexual activity.Would appreciate all feedback
 
bojana said:
Im 14 mnth off since Trinza and not helaing. Not even 1precent, i think im just worse. There iz no hope for me.
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Dude, I told you it's not even out of your system yet. There is tons of hope for you, just hold on 10 more months (out of your system at 4, 6 months for substantial amount of improvment), you will turn a corner then. I know that sounds ridiculous, but holding on for that long is so much better than dying and never getting to that point.

Trinza is ridiculous. Can you tell us how you got moved up to Trinza in the first place?

Also I'm guessing we never get someone who had Halfyeara because the people who get that one are either homeless or they need it. But even then, I bet you could recover from that version of the medication as well.
 
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DrZaius1 said:
I finally got a TV & Xbox setup in my room. Now i can at least be comfortable whilst trying to play games and watch Netflix. I haven’t done either for 6 months now.

I kind of wish I’d set this up earlier and forced myself to use it instead of laying down thinking all the time. I feel like I’ve thought about too much negative stuff (what could be worse than going through this), and it’s kind of destroyed all my hopes and dreams realizing how much worse it could get.

Whilst some physical symptoms are improving (I’m feeling a bit more like myself), the anxiety and dreadful feeling is increasing exponentially. Every time I leave the house I‘m worried I’ll get hit by a car or beaten up or something else stupid. I never had these fears/concerns before Invega, now it’s just taking all the joy out of life.

One of my main goals in life was to move to a beachside town. It just feels like it’s no different to anywhere else in the world - it’s like everything/everywhere feels the same now for some reason. Like no matter where I go I’ll feel 24/7 dread even though I’m not in any immediate danger.

Thinking about suicide brings me some relief, I feel like I should at least buy some Fentanyl or something to have as a back up plan in case things get worse. I’m really hesitant to go through with anything, but knowing I’ve got a way out would make it feel better for some reason.
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I think having something to do/watch is really helpful, good job setting that up.

Why do you want to do Fentanyl? That's very dangerous, especially street fentanyl. You could try getting a medication I tried, Buspirone. It's a low-risk anti-anxiety medication. I felt really good when I was trialing it after Prozac and I wish I kept taking it because it could've prevented my PSSD.
 
DrZaius1 said:
That’s the kind of recovery story I’ve been looking for, it sounds mostly the same as my situation. Did you also feel like everything was pointless? That’s the main thing that’s holding me back. I also lost my faith in God, I can’t get it back as I’ve seen too many bad stories online (violence, killings etc.) to believe there’s anyone looking after us.
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No I didn’t feel like everything was pointless. I did lose all my faith. I was upset thinking how could god allow something so evil to be created. I thought to myself that even babies laugh. They experience laughter. I went to a concert and everyone was enjoying it around me. The same music that made me happy felt like nothing to me. It was like I was watching myself from behind a virtual reality screen. I didn’t feel a connection to anything. That medication had sucked the personality right out of me. I was a shell of who I used to be. You feel like it’s pointless because that’s what the medication do to you. It makes it so that we have no desire for anything. They created it to keep us disconnected from reality. They want us zombified somewhere sitting in a corner, with no hopes no goals and withdrawn from living.
I mean $3,000 per injection sounds like a lucrative business to me. That medication is given to some of the most violent inmates. It’s like it latches onto your brain and depletes you. I do believe it’s designed to keep us in order. It strips you of the things God gave you coming here naturally. You’re aware that you feel differently. You notice that there’s something off and different about you. I feel like if you can notice that, then why can’t you heal too. I do believe that healing is possible for all of us, but we have to do the work. No one is coming to restore us. Suicide sounded nice to me at one point because I was really suffering. To be here without emotions was like a death sentence to me. I lived my whole life as a cancer ♋️
I was always sensitive to everything. I really didn’t know how to live any other way. I’d suggest you stop watching anything violent. I’d suggest you start watching and listening to things that’ll uplift or motivate you to do something. I’d suggest that you start pouring love into yourself. Be kinder to yourself. Celebrate being alive. I believe that we can get back to ourselves. I believe if you change your way of thinking. I feel like we have to reprogram our minds. Switch from negative to more of a positive state of mind and in time you’ll notice things start to shift for you. Don’t give up. I am proof that we heal. I had to log out of social media sites and pour all of that energy into myself. I was truly determined to get well. I am healed. Because of this experience I try to pay attention to/enjoy every moment. I don’t allow people to mistreat me anymore. I take time to myself. I get out and do things that once made me happy. I even schedule time to watch something funny. I truly believe that laughter is cleansing. I know for sure that crying is cleansing too. If it doesn’t fill me with good thoughts or things i distract myself from it. I live life now with intention and purpose.
 
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invegashmega said:
So I tried weed again and still don’t get much out of it. It does help me sleep though but I miss the high that I would get with the giddiness and all that. I don’t know if ketamine is helping and I have two more infusions to go before I decide if it’s for me or not. I’m still hopeful but I’m not gonna lie, it’s really hard to wake up and it’s the same feeling every time. I miss the ideas that were always flowing through my head. I still don’t get much entertainment from tv or social media or being out in nature. I’m scared for my career since I wanted to work in a creative field. I had so many ideas of things I wanted to do with my life after I got out of the hospital and the second shot took that from me.
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I get high but its different type of high. Helps me sleep too tho. And i heard cannanoids promote neurogenesis. Strongly recommend weed to yall
 
Kiaf852 said:
I agree recovery stories should be placed on the first page of every thread. I had moments where I felt somewhat normal over the past few year but something was missing. I still didn’t feel complete. I can honestly say that I feel complete. I had doubt that I’d ever heal completely. I’d always try to ignore that way of thinking. I was really hopeless in many moments. I had two relatives pass away back to back. I loss my appetite. I started sleep walking. From there I ended up in the mental hospital. I was released after a few days. I still had trouble sleeping. I tried driving back to the hospital and blacked out. I woke up in the mental hospital. I was fine in that place. I wasn’t causing any drama or anything. I was just waiting to go home. My mother told the staff that I threw my medication away. I’ve never taken medication before. I was dealing with grief. I had insomnia too. I wasn’t crazy. That second time they forced me to stay three weeks. Upon releasing me I was told that I had to take the Invega injections. I had no one to advocate for me. After being in there so long I just wanted to go home. Every day this male patient there would come to my room and threaten to rape me. The staff slept in shifts outside of my doorway. I agreed to take the injection because I wanted to go home. I was also terrified of one of the patients. That man told me he was going to rape me like he raped his daughter. It was a frightening experience for me. After they gave me two high dose injections 234 Mg, then 164 Mg a few days later, they released me back into society. I had to leave that place wearing someone else shoes because they gave my shoes away. I looked like death walking away from that place. I was skin and bones. I couldn’t stop pacing after that injection. I lost my appetite. I had severe insomnia for over a year. No period for 16 months. I had horrible acne all over my back and arms. I felt disconnected from reality. I couldn’t feel any emotions. I had no thoughts. I had no desire to shower or anything. I couldn’t even enjoy music or watching tv. It was truly a living nightmare for me. Those doctors tried to tell me I was schizophrenic because I threw away their medication. 37 years old isn’t common for developing schizophrenia. They had to label me something so that they could send me on my way. It was a year before I was told by a therapist that I didn’t have schizophrenia. I was told that the therapist are powerless against the decisions of the psychiatrist. They sit back disagreeing with their decisions and silently watching them destroy so many people’s lives. I had to truly know myself. Although I did go through something I knew that I didn’t need Invega for the rest of my life. Had I continued to take that medication I wouldn’t be here today. There is no way that I could’ve lived like that. My therapist said she watched a woman go from being independent to unable to care for her own children after being medicated. If you research schizophrenia most of the symptoms are caused by the medication that they use to treat it. I knew myself better than those people knew me. I refused to take any more injections after leaving that facility. I would receive phone calls from them sometimes trying to get me to take something. I’d respond by saying that I’m only interested in talking to a therapist, they’d say we can get you one if you continue to take our medication. They didn’t care about me it was just about the money for them. I’d tell them about the side effects of Invega and they’d suggest a different antipsychotic for me. I refused to take anything. I’m so grateful that I knew myself. I was in that mental hospital watching the residents go from behaving normal to slumped over drooling on tables. That experience was a real eye opener for me.
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I read that sexual assault is a problem in mental hospitals. For staff and patients, and it can be perpetuated by either staff or patients. People of any gender can be victims too, look up what happened to the guy who runs the cooking youtube channel, Binging with Babish. People need to be believed when they say they were threatened with rape, or that someone made them uncomfortable, and I'm so glad you were.

Overmedication is a massive problem too. There's people who are perfectly or even better-functioning on antipsychotics, but they need the right dose. And I believe some antipsychotics are less safe than others, or one can be really bad for you while another is fine. I think Haldol is one that should be considered less safe or unsafe, for example. Geodon, Latuda and Abilify seem to be safer. I understand there is a need to stop psychosis quickly, but this "SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER" approach can do more harm than good. I feel like this approach is taken more often because it saves money and opens beds up faster.
 
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I have almost no bowel movement due to injections.
I'm worried about food getting stuck in there, I hardly go to the toilet...
Is there anything to worry about? I don't want to get sick from trapped feces.
 
UnluckyXeplion said:
I have almost no bowel movement due to injections.
I'm worried about food getting stuck in there, I hardly go to the toilet...
Is there anything to worry about? I don't want to get sick from trapped feces.
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I have the same problem, for the first few months I could barely go, up to 12 days at one point. I had to use laxatives and I found if you drink about 4 cups of coffee it will have the same effect. It’s gotten a bit better now once every few days but I still feel almost no urge to go most of the time.
 
DrZaius1 said:
I definitely should have set the TV up way earlier, like 5 months ago. Too bad I had zero motivation at the time but it’s actually so comfortable sitting in bed being able to watch stuff.

I played about an hour of Resident Evil 7 then watched an episode of Gotham Garage. It was sad seeing how many shows that had new episodes that I didn’t feel like watching at all. Maybe one day I’ll get back into them. It got my mind off things for a few hours which I’m thankful for.

I was also feeling even more depressed than usual because I saw a guy get beat up and robbed yesterday and I couldn’t do anything to help him. I have almost no upper body strength and zero energy. I can’t even do one pull up. I used to be able to do like 20 in a row ffs.

I can’t even run anymore either, so if I got involved I wouldn’t have been able to do anything and probably got beat up too. I hate the world so much now.

I hope we can all get over this BS stuff. If soldiers can go overseas and see pointless death and destruction and still live a life after returning I think we all can too. Just have to distract ourselves - which is impossible with Anhedonia, that’s one thing I wish never happened. That really caused so damage it’s unbelievable.
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I wish were my body was able to produce feelings of comfort. I’ve discovered that my brain doesn’t send signals regarding comfort/feelings of hunger/sleepiness/fullness so I’m constantly in a state of discomfort where the only relief I get is from sleeping. I spend 75%+ of my days sleeping. I’m basically like a brain dead vegetable. AND I was already a low functioning schizophrenic before this….
 
Davievargie said:
I wish were my body was able to produce feelings of comfort. I’ve discovered that my brain doesn’t send signals regarding comfort/feelings of hunger/sleepiness/fullness so I’m constantly in a state of discomfort where the only relief I get is from sleeping. I spend 75%+ of my days sleeping. I’m basically like a brain dead vegetable. AND I was already a low functioning schizophrenic before this….
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It’s so fkn sad our lives have become like this. Reading recovery stories used to make me think I’d recover in like 8 months minimum but I just can’t see it happening anymore. The zombie states sort of gone but the depression and anxiety that‘s developed makes me hate life.

I spent 20hrs in bed yesterday because I couldnt think of anything to do. Waking up today was just as bad and now I have to think about something to do tomorrow. I never had this problem before in my life.
 
InvegaAnon said:
I think having something to do/watch is really helpful, good job setting that up.

Why do you want to do Fentanyl? That's very dangerous, especially street fentanyl. You could try getting a medication I tried, Buspirone. It's a low-risk anti-anxiety medication. I felt really good when I was trialing it after Prozac and I wish I kept taking it because it could've prevented my PSSD.
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I want to maybe overdose on it because life isn’t getting better. It’s going to be winter soon which will make things even worse. I feel like I have no options anymore as I’ve gotten a million conditions I never had before all this and everyday feels like it’s on repeat.
 
DrZaius1 said:
I want to maybe overdose on it because life isn’t getting better. It’s going to be winter soon which will make things even worse. I feel like I have no options anymore as I’ve gotten a million conditions I never had before all this and everyday feels like it’s on repeat.
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I have that too, extreme boredom with nothing to do everyday, and everyday feels the same like before.
No activity is rewarding anymore.
 
UnluckyXeplion said:
I have almost no bowel movement due to injections.
I'm worried about food getting stuck in there, I hardly go to the toilet...
Is there anything to worry about? I don't want to get sick from trapped feces.
Click to expand...
I had the same problem the first month. I started taking Magnesium citrate by naturalslim to help with that. I drink it every night and it helps me go consistently every morning. I also had to use liquid glycerin suppositories once to help me when I was stuck.
 
DrZaius1 said:
I want to maybe overdose on it because life isn’t getting better. It’s going to be winter soon which will make things even worse. I feel like I have no options anymore as I’ve gotten a million conditions I never had before all this and everyday feels like it’s on repeat.
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It often takes six months for people to feel better, and then another six months before they feel normal, and sometimes a little after that. It can take two years for some people to feel complete. Please just hold on, I don't think you'll regret it.
 
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