Mental Health Coming off Invega/Xeplion (paliperidone) injections v 8.0

HI everyone. I had limited conversations with bojana. We would inbox each other frequently for a while .Then I had started this journey to get better and really never communicated with her again. I feel terrible. She really was a beautiful woman. She was definitely suffering though. She would tell me that she had absolutely no sex drive and she was going to hang in there and try to get better. But she did mention she was going to commit suicide eventually. I don't know why these doctors aren't held accountable. There should be an eye for an eye with situations like this. I was in the same boat as bojana. I did not have any schizophrenic type disorder or history. Like her, I reacted badly. So i've done some research on rebuilding the brain and the plasticity. I'm going for stem cells today. I'm hoping this will help. Ive tried everything else and it doesn't seem to work. I wish Bojanna could have hung in there, because I was talking to her about stem cell treatment and she was excited and wanted to see my results. I almost feel guilty now. Anyway I will let everybody know how I made out. On a side note, I found out why we gain weight and eat so much or lack of. It's called a Para sympathetic response. It is basically a primal stimulus that we get because of the lack of emotion, or feelings. This drug really is some different level of poisoning. Every day I get more and more angry at this doctor who did this to me. But my rational side is saying the same.You gotta keep getting better.
 
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Fuckers. I trully believe in karma and i know the universe is noticing all of this. They will face the consequences in afterlife for forcing people on neurotoxic poison
Believe me I will never get this psychiatrist out of my mind,who did this to me. The rage and anger I feel towards this person is on another level. But like my current doctor said. Put them in a rear view mirror and let's get moving forward. So i'm off to doing stem cells today.
 
Believe me I will never get this psychiatrist out of my mind,who did this to me. The rage and anger I feel towards this person is on another level. But like my current doctor said. Put them in a rear view mirror and let's get moving forward. So i'm off to doing stem cells today.
Let us know how the stem cells treatment works.
 
How do you feel? Emotions are back?
Not because i think i need clean more strong poison maybe 10 or 1 mlg of this shit enough to block emotions but leechin is a speed for clean this shit every day toxins go out on my body
 
I had some muted musical euphoria and muted frission sitting under a blooming crabapple tree listening to my favorite band. I think I feel enough to just sit and listen to music again and that's a big relief to me. I have 85% of my music enjoyment back. It's still lacking. It's like I have a greasy film over my existence.
 
So after the stem cell treatment I had immediate results. It's not perfect but a lot of the brain inflammation has subsided. The sex drive thing is non existent but we're going to work on that. The pacing thing has also slowed down. I'm starting to feel a little bit more relaxed. They say it takes several months for it to really work.So i'm going to wait it out but I did get some results right away. I'm hoping to God it gets better.
 
I developed a real close relationship with Bojana. I would often encourage her. We would message each other often. Sometimes she’d message me and ask if I was still alive. She wished me happy birthday through my messages and she didn’t have to. She was a sweet person. She told me that I gave her hope. I tried to message her a few times through what’s app. I don’t know how to use it so I could never get through. This has truly saddened me. I’ve cried at work today. I’ve cried over the past few days about this. One of the members told me about her passing through my messages. I’ve healed so I don’t get on the thread as often. I was locked out of my old Kia85 account. I couldn’t remember my password. I would try to log in and get irritated and give up. I haven’t talked to Bojana since January. I truly wish that I could’ve encouraged her to keep going. Seeing her pictures she was such a beautiful person. My heart breaks for her family and her children. May her soul rest peacefully. I will continue to log into this thread to encourage all of you. I’m tired of losing friends to this poison. It sucks the soul out of you. No one should be forced to endure something so inhumane it’s like being slowly tortured. I’ll quote one of Bojana last few posts on this thread on 04/10/24 We have a God given right to be human. 😥😥I’ll continue to keep her and her family lifted in prayer 😥😥I’m going to continue praying for all of you.
I will never forget her.
Yea she was absolutely beautiful woman and had much to live for , I told her this 100 s of times ,in the end she told me repeatedly “ do not ask me to Survive any more “ “ if you love me you will let me go “ I would allways say bojana you cannot do that you have not waited long enough it can take years … “ I cannot baby “ etc etc

She told me I had saved her life before when I refused to engage with her when she was in the hotel room with poison telling me she would die … ( she never told me she was famous or give me her surname so I could not call Serbian authorities) I spoke with my mother about this every day and we navigated the situation VERY carefully constantly gently but firmly telling her she must not give up …. In the end bojana told me that her “sister had given her permission “ to die … I said I will not be involved with your death bojana I cannot because you have family… I owe it to them to make sure I do not encourage you in any way to die …the only thing I said about suicide was that If this condition was permanent I would kill myself and I will.

I have recovered 5 percent in the last month so total of 5 percent recovered at this point . 21 months in. Stay strong all
 
I ran a search looking for stuff about other experiences with hormones and I saw another woman who was a Trinza survivor and she turned out fine. She's alive and still posting on this website. I wish I found her earlier, it looks like she just carried on with her life. I wish I found her earlier and got her to talk to Bojana, maybe she could've helped if she wasn't going to listen to us.

This sucks and I'm really sorry some of you lost a friend. I can't believe they put her on that shit for depression.
 
Being in the psych ward really fucked with my faith in psychiatry. The shrink i had in the psych ward hated me, refused to give me any meds (i was coming off high dose morphine and clonazepam in there) and even said to my brother that she wanted to see me in prison. I was not a model patient in there at all as i was constantly fighting security guards in there. I was very psychotic yet she refused to give me any antipsychotics.

However after i ended up in yet another fight that my brother broke up he flipped out and managed to get me a new shrink. He put me on invega which sucked balls but was better then cotards syndrome atleast. He switched me to abilify after 3 months which sucked just as bad but i was honestly afraid to say anything in case id get thrown back in the psych ward. After about 2 years i actually got up the courage to ask him to switch me to a different antipsychotic and he put me on latuda.

After about 3 months of being on latuda the side effects of the abilify started to wear off. One of the first things to come back was my sex drive. Then i started loosing all the weight i gained on invega and abilify and got down to 170lbs which is actualy to skinny for me. The latuda eventually gave me akathesia though so i had to switch to zyprexa.

The zyprexa is great i dont get any side effects from it. I started lifting weights the same time as i wet on zyprexa and now i have been lifting for over a year and i put on about 20lbs of muscle. I am in better shape now then i ever have been and i do 50lbs dumbell bicep curls now. I would recommend zyprexa to anyone whos been on god awful invega

I just thought id share my story again to show that not only can you recover from invega but you can be even better then before you went on it. I am in the best shape of my life, am no longer addicted to opiates or benzos as i now just take them for pain and also to get high but not to maintain on them. I dont do them on a regular basis anymore in high enough doses to get addicted anymore. I also have a awesome shrink whos willing to work with me to help the godawful PTSD i got in the psych ward. He gave me bromazepam for my panic attacks which is awesome of him. So not al shrinks are cunts hes a pretty cool guy
 
I truly enjoy being outside again. I live in a somewhat rural area and I used to just go outside and smoke weed and be one with nature all the time. I miss the weed part.

I live in a very rural area to i hate the fucking city i could never live in the city here. Why don't you smoke weed anymore? Weed definitely helped me recover
 
I live in a very rural area to i hate the fucking city i could never live in the city here. Why don't you smoke weed anymore? Weed definitely helped me recover
I got PSSD and it makes my PSSD symptoms worse when it wears off. :/ It can also mess with your hormones and I'm hormonally deficient right now. It sounds like you can be temporarily hormonally deficient for up to two years after invega. After that, people have permanent issues with hormones. I'm trying not to worry too much (and failing). I'm getting my testosterone tested in a couple of weeks. If that comes back normal, I don't have secondary hypogonadism, it would just mean my testosterone has overtaken my estradiol and I need to cycle progesterone to bring down the extra T for a while until the estradiol catches up.
 
How the hell are you all surviving?

It’s been 6 months (approaching 7) with this drug in my system, and I am unbelievably almost LITERALLY a vegetable.

My body cannot handle the intense anhedonia (which was already bad with the negative symptoms of my schizophrenia) and it’s literally unable to do goal-oriented activities —- basically all normal shit people do from morning until evening.

… so what do I do all day?? Just sleep!!! It’s horrible and my brain also sends me negative thoughts and LITERALLY resurfaces embarassing memories /feelings of comparison and worthiness. IT’S TOO MUCH. I CAN’T FUCKING DO THIS.

Additionally, I never feel rested. I sleep 15+ hours a day and NEVER FEEL RESTED. I LITERALLY get ZERO pleasure from doing anything. my brain DOES NOT SEND signals to my body regarding sleeping/coziness/being full.

I’m in LIVING FUCKING HELL.

The only other person who I think mildly understands is moondusk, and he feels suicidal every living Fucking day.

WHY AM I THIS BAD. HOW ARE YOU ALL ABLE TO DO SO MUCH
 
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