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Comedowns, Serotonin Syndrome and MDMA abuse (plus problems after use)

I can 2nd the sentiment that mushrooms/cannabis never caused the issues that MDMA has caused me.

Also, many people here report that their long term comedowns only get worse, even with smaller doses after months off. I wouldnt risk doing MDMA again if I were you.

If the Festival is Peach or Lock'n, See you there.
 
Daily MDMA use Permanent brain damage or reverseable?

Hello everyone here at Bluelight, i'm looking for help on how to recover from mdma abuse, about two years back i tried MDMA for the first time, i had such a great first experience with this drug, so good, that it became part of my everyday life. This is not a troll post, what i'm about to tell you is true.

Two years ago when i was 18 i tried mdma at a music festival, i've experimented with other drugs at the time but i've never felt as good as i did on MDMA. After consuming the drug, all my insecurities and anxieties just dissapear, i felt confident and amazing. I wish that i never experienced the feelings i got from mdma, it led to a real bad addiction.

At first, taking the MDMA was a pleasureable experience, the high was great, however, this had caused me to abuse the substance on a daily basis. I ended up buying a half ounce after my first couple of experiences from a guy i had met at a rave, and was parachuting (wrapping a dose of mdma in a zigzag) at first at about 200 mg a day with little to no repurcussions. The first week or so, i was having the time of my life, i thought i was top shit, like scarface, unfortunately it was only an illusion but an illusion i had made to be so real. Thinking your top shit also comes with making some poor decisions, or at least it had done so to me.

I'm a week in to this MDMA binge and all of a sudden i notice the euphoria and pleasureable effects diminishing, so i started upping the dose. This had continued for 3 months (there where days when i didnt take MDMA but very few).

Nearing the end of the three month binge, even at high doses (300-400 mg) i was no longer getting any desirable effects, i was taking the MDMA just to be normal now, it took me three fucking months to realize what i was doing was only a temporary feeling with consequences to follow.

I finally decided to stop taking it all together as the magic was lost and i realized either i stop or im going to be fucked for the rest of my life, i'm really glad i stopped before further damage was done to me.

I opened this thread, you see, because i wanted to hear everyones opinion. Nothing makes me happy anymore, i have a hard time smiling, its hard for me to socialize with people now because im not making the right facial expressions anymore in conversations. When i look into the mirror i see a miserable face, i'm scared that everyone is judging me based on how miserable i look now, so my social life has been shitty since, even when i was in a relationship with a girlfriend i had a hard time looking her in the eyes and smiling.

What i want to know, and im being very serious here, is if its possible to recover and go back to the old me, i was more social, i was more happy, and i felt good about myself, i used to be able to walk down my street without fatigue setting in from depressive feelings.

I want my life back, i want to feel alive again, to smile, to be happy and social without being paranoid that everyones judging me.

Can i recover? Its been 7 months since i last dropped mdma and two years since the binge and i plan on never touching it again.
 
If you have some idea of how many pills you've taken and how many grams and ounces you've done over the years then you have nothing to worry about, if you were that fucked up you wouldn't have a clue.
 
Nothing makes me happy anymore, i have a hard time smiling, its hard for me to socialize with people now because im not making the right facial expressions anymore in conversations. When i look into the mirror i see a miserable face, i'm scared that everyone is judging me based on how miserable i look now, so my social life has been shitty since, even when i was in a relationship with a girlfriend i had a hard time looking her in the eyes and smiling.

i understand this so much ;(
 
LayZ, I'm pretty sure FuckWithRaw was asking if you've had sex with a chick (skirt) and maybe picked up a STD that would affect you going to the bathroom.
 
The fact is we're just not sure OP. There's not been enough research into MDMA to know exactly how it interacts with the brain at high doses. The best thing you can do now is to never touch it again.

I myself have negative effects after basically a single use of 500mg combined with alcohol and other drugs. It's been 6 months for me and hasn't gotten much better. I'm going to do some experimenting soon to see if Mushrooms can help. They do work with Neurogenesis (growing new brain cells) and some have reported partial recovery after using them. The same with DMT/Ayahuasca. I'm not advocating this, but I had a such a rapid change I'm basically dedicating my life to getting better.

Best of luck OP.
 
I feel bad for you OP and I understand the depression you are going through. The problem with depression is when you take drugs, it get's worse and you feel more like shit.

I think you will be able to recover as long as you overcome your fear that you are not the man you used to be and that you won't be the same again. It might take time but I would advise you to do things that CAN MAKE YOU FEEL good. Think about what can give you smile, I know it might be hard, but you need to focus on the positive. Like the fact that you completely stopped : not everyone could have done that.

I would recommend doing some sport, anykind of sport you may like and if possible, something in a team where you can see and interact with people.

And just STOP THINKING PEOPLE WILL SEE YOU LIKE SHIT JUST BECAUSE YOU SEE YOURSELF AS SHIT. Get your shit together man !

Little by little, evacuate the negative thoughts from your brain. And maybe go see a doctor, and don't be afraid to go just because you feel guilty and scared to be judged.

I might recommend also some vitamins, magnesium and L-tryptophan, the last two had helped me a bit to recover from mdma post depression.

I believe in you !
 
BLUEREX11 said:
LayZ, I'm pretty sure FuckWithRaw was asking if you've had sex with a chick (skirt) and maybe picked up a STD that would affect you going to the bathroom.
Click to expand...

Oooh sorry my native language isn't english !
Well no I didn't have sex with anyone in... too many time XD
 
Steppinwolf69 said:
Hello everyone here at Bluelight, i'm looking for help on how to recover from mdma abuse, about two years back i tried MDMA for the first time, i had such a great first experience with this drug, so good, that it became part of my everyday life. This is not a troll post, what i'm about to tell you is true.

Two years ago when i was 18 i tried mdma at a music festival, i've experimented with other drugs at the time but i've never felt as good as i did on MDMA. After consuming the drug, all my insecurities and anxieties just dissapear, i felt confident and amazing. I wish that i never experienced the feelings i got from mdma, it led to a real bad addiction.

At first, taking the MDMA was a pleasureable experience, the high was great, however, this had caused me to abuse the substance on a daily basis. I ended up buying a half ounce after my first couple of experiences from a guy i had met at a rave, and was parachuting (wrapping a dose of mdma in a zigzag) at first at about 200 mg a day with little to no repurcussions. The first week or so, i was having the time of my life, i thought i was top shit, like scarface, unfortunately it was only an illusion but an illusion i had made to be so real. Thinking your top shit also comes with making some poor decisions, or at least it had done so to me.

I'm a week in to this MDMA binge and all of a sudden i notice the euphoria and pleasureable effects diminishing, so i started upping the dose. This had continued for 3 months (there where days when i didnt take MDMA but very few).

Nearing the end of the three month binge, even at high doses (300-400 mg) i was no longer getting any desirable effects, i was taking the MDMA just to be normal now, it took me three fucking months to realize what i was doing was only a temporary feeling with consequences to follow.

I finally decided to stop taking it all together as the magic was lost and i realized either i stop or im going to be fucked for the rest of my life, i'm really glad i stopped before further damage was done to me.

I opened this thread, you see, because i wanted to hear everyones opinion. Nothing makes me happy anymore, i have a hard time smiling, its hard for me to socialize with people now because im not making the right facial expressions anymore in conversations. When i look into the mirror i see a miserable face, i'm scared that everyone is judging me based on how miserable i look now, so my social life has been shitty since, even when i was in a relationship with a girlfriend i had a hard time looking her in the eyes and smiling.

What i want to know, and im being very serious here, is if its possible to recover and go back to the old me, i was more social, i was more happy, and i felt good about myself, i used to be able to walk down my street without fatigue setting in from depressive feelings.

I want my life back, i want to feel alive again, to smile, to be happy and social without being paranoid that everyones judging me.

Can i recover? Its been 7 months since i last dropped mdma and two years since the binge and i plan on never touching it again.
Click to expand...

One hell of a story there bud. You are asking a proper question. So you have abstained from mdma for 7 months now? Great! KEEP GOING!! Only time can fix this. I wouldnt pop mdma for AT LEAST a year, but you....and you only will know when you are back to normal. This is when you MIGHT be able to do it again. I was in your boat for a year and ive finally come out of it. Ive seen the dark, and i can assure, THERE IS LIGHT! :) Stay positive friend.
 
Like others have said, we aren't really sure what exactly MDMA might have done in your brain. However, stopping is the best thing you could have done and you know now at least that it can only
get better if you don't use again. Getting plenty of exercise and eating healthily (and I mean properly properly dedicating yourself to those), will help get you recover much quicker. I also find its good to keep your mind healthy too by doing maths puzzles etc. Puzzle games are a fun way to do this.
 
Steppinwolf69 said:
Hello everyone here at Bluelight, i'm looking for help on how to recover from mdma abuse, about two years back i tried MDMA for the first time, i had such a great first experience with this drug, so good, that it became part of my everyday life. This is not a troll post, what i'm about to tell you is true.
Two years ago when i was 18 i tried mdma at a music festival, i've experimented with other drugs at the time but i've never felt as good as i did on MDMA. After consuming the drug, all my insecurities and anxieties just dissapear, i felt confident and amazing. I wish that i never experienced the feelings i got from mdma, it led to a real bad addiction.
At first, taking the MDMA was a pleasureable experience, the high was great, however, this had caused me to abuse the substance on a daily basis. I ended up buying a half ounce after my first couple of experiences from a guy i had met at a rave, and was parachuting (wrapping a dose of mdma in a zigzag) at first at about 200 mg a day with little to no repurcussions. The first week or so, i was having the time of my life, i thought i was top shit, like scarface, unfortunately it was only an illusion but an illusion i had made to be so real. Thinking your top shit also comes with making some poor decisions, or at least it had done so to me.
I'm a week in to this MDMA binge and all of a sudden i notice the euphoria and pleasureable effects diminishing, so i started upping the dose. This had continued for 3 months (there where days when i didnt take MDMA but very few).
Nearing the end of the three month binge, even at high doses (300-400 mg) i was no longer getting any desirable effects, i was taking the MDMA just to be normal now, it took me three fucking months to realize what i was doing was only a temporary feeling with consequences to follow.
I finally decided to stop taking it all together as the magic was lost and i realized either i stop or im going to be fucked for the rest of my life, i'm really glad i stopped before further damage was done to me.
I opened this thread, you see, because i wanted to hear everyones opinion. Nothing makes me happy anymore, i have a hard time smiling, its hard for me to socialize with people now because im not making the right facial expressions anymore in conversations. When i look into the mirror i see a miserable face, i'm scared that everyone is judging me based on how miserable i look now, so my social life has been shitty since, even when i was in a relationship with a girlfriend i had a hard time looking her in the eyes and smiling.
What i want to know, and im being very serious here, is if its possible to recover and go back to the old me, i was more social, i was more happy, and i felt good about myself, i used to be able to walk down my street without fatigue setting in from depressive feelings.
I want my life back, i want to feel alive again, to smile, to be happy and social without being paranoid that everyones judging me.
Can i recover? Its been 7 months since i last dropped mdma and two years since the binge and i plan on never touching it again.
Click to expand...

Shittttt....you should feel lucky you're only experiencing psychological issues than actual physical issues like daily headaches and on/off chest pains from mdma abuse like me. I would rather be in your shoes than my own
 
Help/advice - gastritis-like symptoms

Hi,

First off, sorry for the length of this post.

New to this forum and wanted to know if anyone knew of a link between mdma and stomach problems? I've not taken it too many times (maybe 6 or 7 times in my life), but did some this weekend, having done it at the end of January. I probably should have left more of a gap, but i perhaps erroneously thought that being fairly fit (cycling everyday and running 3/4 times a week, along with healthy diet), it wouldn't be too much of an issue.

I essentially split three quarters of a pill and some little powdery bits between three friends and myself, so didn't have much. I ate quite a lot that day, so wasn't rolling on an empty stomach by any means. But here's the thing, I had oysters for lunch that day.

Anyway, the next day I felt fine, bit of a headache from drinking but that went away after a while. It wasn't til late that evening (around 10pm), that I started to get some stomach upset. Went to bed, but only dozed for a little bit before waking up to pretty harsh stomach pain and nausea. To cut a long story short, the nausea was so bad that I ended up forcing myself to vomit, which brought short relief. In the early hours I ended up going to an out of hours medical centre, where the I ended up vomiting a lot and the doctor prescribed me omeprazole.

Fast forward to now and I definitely don't feel as bad, but I don't have much appetite and I get stomach burning every so often (mostly at night and in the morning. Sometimes it wakes me up in the middle of the night for a little bit too).

Its a bit difficult to pinpoint things because the oysters are a bit of a marker for food poisoning, but it was just wondering whether it was the mdma that is making me feel like this. Has anyone else had a similar experience? Does it get better and is there anything I can do to accelerate the process?

I'm a bit worried that I may have damaged my stomach :(. It just seems a bit weird given that I didn't have much (and it was leftover stuff that I had from a while ago), plus none of my friends appear to have been affected.

Thanks in advance for the help.
 
^ as above its a long term comedown. Stop now, please listen. Take a couple of years off and then think about it again then
 
I began feeling these effects and stupidly continued to take MDMA 7 more times (I felt these effects after the 3rd time). Eventually after a 9 month break I started to feel relatively good again, took it one more time and the comedown was even worse again than all the comedowns that came before it, even worse than comedowns were use was only spaced a week apart. I think maybe once you hit this stage, it is best to never use MDMA again, or maybe take a break of two years or something (I couldn't comment on that til I try it). As said above, mushrooms and cannabis have never caused me such issues. Having a beer or two, a small (0.75-1g) dose of mushrooms and a few joints throughout the night can lead to a surprisingly similar (and preferable, IMO), state of magic to MDMA. Without tripping out too much either. I don't know if it would be suitable for a night clubbing or something like that though, but a house party or something like that where there's space to chill, it's great :) especially with some nitrous balloons thrown in. And it feels much safer and leaves you feeling great, if you don't overdo the beer :p
 
I would go to a therapist and tell her what you had done to yourself, as well as see a psychiatrist and get prescribed a SSRI,SNRI, or whatever they think would be best for your brain. Personally I like to stay away from antidepressants but just see what the doctor has to say. You should start eating healthy and exercising. Taking supplements for you brain and recovery could be possible! What you did was deplete your serotonin to the point where it hurt those receptors pretty bad it seems. You are lucky that you are not experiencing any other side effects from this. I would go see some one immediately and see what they say. I'm certainly no doctor but you might able to repair some of the damage you have done. Peace and Love, and always be safe.
 
Only time will fix this, and yes it will. I don't personally believe in the big scary neurotoxicity fairy in MDMA abuse cases, our brains work very hard to keep us normal and we can miraculously withstand heavy stress.

There isn't no magic, fast, or easy cure to your massively retarded behavior however. What goes up must come down and you will be coming down for quite a while. 5-HTP and exercise will speed up your recovery (I mean this, I can speak from experience) but use this time to really think about respecting drugs and practicing self restraint. With your kind of abuse it's a miracle you're still able to focus long enough to write out a post here.

It could be worse however. I've had worse and lived. You weren't happy; I was rather, suicidal for a period of time after an overdose ended a pretty long period of MDMA abuse (when I could stop focusing on the brain zaps enough to think). It will be hard for a while but you will get better, I can promise you that.
 
skeeto222 said:
The fact is we're just not sure OP. There's not been enough research into MDMA to know exactly how it interacts with the brain at high doses. The best thing you can do now is to never touch it again.

I myself have negative effects after basically a single use of 500mg combined with alcohol and other drugs. It's been 6 months for me and hasn't gotten much better. I'm going to do some experimenting soon to see if Mushrooms can help. They do work with Neurogenesis (growing new brain cells) and some have reported partial recovery after using them. The same with DMT/Ayahuasca. I'm not advocating this, but I had a such a rapid change I'm basically dedicating my life to getting better.

Best of luck OP.
Click to expand...

I can vouch for using psychedelics to get out of the MDMA rut. I don't advocate you or anyone blindly using psychedelics to self medicate as it can be very dicey, but a ++++ really seemed to re-balance my neurology in a very positive way.
 
I had a bad case of the 'brain zaps' after taking 1.5grams over a couple days which included a lot of alcohol and no sleep.
After about 2 weeks I was still experiencing the zaps pretty regularly and was really worried it would be permanent so I looked it up and found this forum. Along with the zaps I didn't feel like myself, I was lethargic and anti-social and slept a lot. Thankfully I was still on holidays from work at this point.
I ordered some 5-HTP 150mg tablets and started 1 before bed each night. I'd say it took about 4 full weeks from that big weekend for them to completely stop.
As fun as it can be this made me realise you still need to be careful. I've been taking it on and off for 10 years but this scared the shit outta me.
It's now been 1 1/2 months and I feel like I'm back to normal but it was an eye opener and I think I'll be taking a break for a while..
 
why do people dont research the drugs they take?Everyone knows that mdma is not a drug suited for daily use.Looking it up for 1 minute could have prevented you from basically destroying the next 5 years of your life.
I think you have permanent damage,but that doesnt mean you wont be happy in your life again.Abstain from every drug,even cannabis and alcohol for a long time,exercise alot and eat good and make a cognitive behavourial therapy in order to cope with your social problems and your situation WILL get better,i promise.I would also advice taking 5 htp now and then,not everyday,and i wouldnt take medical SSRIs,they are fucked up drugs
 
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I've never heard of MDMA causing stomach issues and can't seem to think of any way it could. Keep on the proton pump inhibitors and give it some time I think. I know most ulcers are really from h. Pylori bacterium so you might investigate that if this doesn't go away. A round of anti biotics cures most people of their ulcers.
 
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