Hey man, I did mention how benzos helped me pump the brakes on that crazy brain of mine going way too fast. It did help me think things through that I could change in my life, something that couldn't have happened due to HPPD and a kind of weird condition caused by 2 surprise DOB hits in 2001 (I know for sure it was DOB, the guys arrested at the top of the DOB distribution chain were all arrested and it was on TV just a couple months after this). Had it been LSD I would have been fine. I'm kinda sick of repeating this story around here, although I understand not everyone has been here as long as me. And then I also got HPPD from smoking weed after the bad HORRIBLY SICKENING 32 hours of that DOB bad trip I endured, trying to find friends to go to but it was a week day, I skipped college when I took the dose on "saturday" night at 12:30 am, so Sunday, so yeah.
We all know of certain people who need benzos for a long time, if not life, for as required as it is kind of strange how some of the eureka moments came out of nowhere, because my brain wasn't reeling from GAD/SAD/Panic Attacks constantly, add insomnia recognized since childhood (5 years old), made worse by a earthquake in 1988 when I was in grade 2. A 6.4 in a zone of Canada that normally never gets earthquakes, hitting at 8h45pm. I remember my finger cracking tick (which would devolve into all kinds of joints cracking, including, back, hips, jaw) as I got older as it seemed to relieve a pressure that built inside of me a few mere seconds after the cracking. Apparently it does release endorphins to do, but if you could see all the ways I can crack my fingers, you'd be like what the fuck...A neurotic mess, made worse by my parents starting to hate each other when I was 10 who threw shit at each other and I guess if he didn't have kids (me and my brother), he would have killed my mom. The throwing her into walls etc.
Made for another self-hating male with insomnia who worked his crazy ass off in the canadian winter being a delivery boy with 2 runs, mostly cos I could buy beer in the weekends, if you're Canadian, you'll know that it's easy to buy it at 15 years old, but buying a pack of cigs, will get you carded at 30 years old (and the stores politics is if you look 25 and less to be carded, which is still an infrigment of the canadian Charter of Rights and Freedom) but anyway.
I just hate people who go around telling others benzo bad, ssri treatment good, that's not harm reduction in the slightest. It's just corporate whorism. I know all about benzo withdrawal, the trick is just, not to lack benzos. If you lose your SSRI's or use more than the doc prescribed (wouldnt know why one would do that, but lets say other more "fun" antidepressants or antipsychotics (Nozinan) like Manerix, Remeron, Nozinan, you won't have trouble if you try to refill 14 days early, or have to tell long ass stories about how your job (which was true for a while, required you to go pretty far because I was working for WIS, an inventory company, where they pack you in a 15 places van and you go and take inventory of the store with your little machine. Once they refused to give me my script of valium in advance, had to have my fucking boss call in. But that's the pharmacy where I'm at now that is stupid like this, I'd change chain, but right now it's the closest to me, and I was forced to switch to it when I was put on methadone, not all places offer the methadone in juice thing, and the methadone 40mg biscuits are long gone here too, there's still the Metadol pills for pain which I can't know why the fuck they won't use instead (1,5,10,25mg pills, seems perfect for dosing someone in not-so-round dosages when going down doses, say 47mg), from what I know, technicians who fill those bottles at night love to put less methadone in them than they should because they hate the methadone junkies. Suboxone is less of an hassle, except the way it works is the same as methadone here, 6 takehomes max blah blah blah.
All this when I know for sure they got a "trip" code, meaning somebody won't be around to renew, and if you renew your benzo script in another pharmacy, it gets permanently transfered there, it's the law. Like how you can't even have a painkiller script moved from a pharmacy to another and need a new script.
Basically, being treated like scum because of benzos, which I was a daily user of, way before I slipped and fell into the opiate crack, which is the fault of my dental specialist who had me on a codeine contin 150mg and the last 2 months, the 200mg ones+ IR codeine+apap pills round the clock treatment for my TMJ disorder and trigeminal nerve damage in the same area retiring, getting my dossier from the clinic and trying to meet other doctors with that specialty, there are 2. After getting help with a phone script for some goddamn not empracets but Tylenol 3, can't have a real Empracet script through the phone, had to have the added caffeine which made it do nothing at all as I was so preoccupied with the tachycardia. So I called him back one more time for an appointment and some of these damn things meanwhile, and he started to get mad that I wanted another favour so much he effin hung up on me.
4 years of being told it was all in my head after this (when duh, it is indeed in my head where the problem is, left jaw articulation particularly and trigeminal nerves junction before it goes under the bones is where the problem was situatied. Treated like shit 95% of the time, or when I did score opiates, it was at the ER, one bottle, no refill, no paper to meet a specialist, I'd be willing to go into another city, since the other maxilofacial dentists are such douchebags in my own. That, also, grinds one's nerves, a shitload, not to be believed, when the secretary of the clinic I used to go to (which is now just a normal dentist office) could all tell them what was wrong with me, but no, asked for x-rays, CT's. Finally got an MRI, but I was on methadone then, too late.
Blah blah blah, at least it's a real human story, not somebody who's claiming a benzodiazepine isn't used for anxiety, when it is, a hell lot.You know what benzo is used ONLY in neurology, I've seen it said to be used for anxiety....maybe in children, but Frisium aka Clobazam, is what this Neurologist dude should use for seizures. Frisium has almost no abuse profile too.
