^ Fuck that shit. Once trust is broken thats it. Unless of course you want to be a door mat and allow them to do it over and over.
EDIT: Woops! Didn't mean to derail the thread, but to say you should stick around after your SO cheated on you is retarded.
Actually, I think that leaving someone you've been with for years because they were scared to talk to you about their feelings out of a fear of losing you is retarded.
In a long term relationship you're going to have to face desiring other people. The deciding factor is if you face that together or try to hide it and deal with it on your own. Just because someone was scared and didn't communicate with you one time isn't a good reason to end everything after so much time.
Sure, if they do it again or if you haven't been together long then leaving might be a good idea. I'm just saying it's completely stupid to end such a long relationship over something that can really be such a minor thing.
People in long term relationships who cheat usually do it for other reasons than they simply wanted to get laid or were interested in another relationship. It might seem like those are the causes at first, even to the person who has those desires, but I really doubt it is the case usually.
You go girl, kick that fuckhead to the curb!
Unless of course you want to be a door mat and allow them to do it over and over.
These are the exact type of comments that make you think this way and cause people to end serious relationships over what can be a minor issue.
Not only do you have to deal with your own feelings but there is a LOT of social pressure to behave a certain way. From your friends, from their friends, from parents, from television, from everywhere.
You feel as though you are being weak if you don't immediately end the relationship. You think people will look at you and say, "Wow, they let people walk all over them.. what a weak person."
You think you decided for yourself that someone cheating on you means you have to end the relationship? No, culture told you that. Your comments simply reflect what society expects you to do. Both of you sound like incredibly weak people I'm sorry to say.
In my opinion it takes a LOT more strength and will to NOT leave someone after they cheat on you and to give them a second chance instead. Especially in a long term relationship. There's a HUGE difference between being with someone for 5 years and having them cheat on you once and being with someone for a month and having them cheat on you once or whatever.
in the OP's case it sounds like her man has no control over his dick. She didnt say that they had been having problems,she sounded like everything was going good till that point.
I would be hurt if someone cheated on me because they cant conain themselves. If you made the commitment to me,I provide all you need or want sexually, then why did you do it?
Of course it sounded like there was no problems and everything was going good. That's because they had an unhealthy relationship where there was no real communication of feelings. I GUARANTEE you that this guy didn't just put his dick in this girl one day without thinking of it previously. He was probably thinking about this for weeks or even months before this happened but he didn't say anything.
He didn't say anything because he was scared that if he did she would leave him or get extremely upset or whatever. So, in his mind he was feeling like he has these desires but he doesn't want to hurt her so his best option is simply to hide everything and hope she never figures it out.
The reason he was scared to say anything is because of how our society treats infidelity. Just look at the comments in this thread urging her to keep his money and telling her to kick him to curb and all that shit. That is how people feel their significant other will react if they talk to them about their feelings and desires. Based on the comments in this thread I guess that IS how a lot of people will react if their significant other tries to talk to them about these issues.
Anyway, people can commit to each other but after 5+ years it's going to get old and routine. You just have to decide if you're going to tell your partner it's old and routine so you want to try new stuff to spice up your sex life or if you're going to start looking elsewhere because you don't feel like you can approach your partner with such things.
Making the wrong choice once shouldn't mean it's over though in my opinion. Were all just human and we make mistakes. Cheating once after 5+ years is not a sign the relationship is over. It's a sign it's stagnant and needed some excitement.