So I am just coming off using oxy's for 5 days, can't say I regret it as I have hedonistic tendencies and had a great time but I feel under the weather today... enough to justify laying in bed all day and probably until my 4am shift watching Harry Potter movies (Emma Watson these days is a fox!). Plus I only have like 6 weeks "clean time" or whatever they call it these days so I should probably watch myself but I knew how many pills I had and no other source and how fast I'd blow through them and that I'd end up in bed watching Harry Potter for a few days chaining off my HP lol...
So yeah just did the usual smoked a few joints had some earl grey my bones are still aching but whatever I'm not a slave to that shit anymore or I'd by fiending another hit.
Finally got my next date yesterday. Happened kinda random we were at a work lunch with our boss and his family and only the two of us showed up so I asked her out for tea after, ended up spending the afternoon into the evening together. This girl sure likes to take her time, she has a really analytical mind (she's not good at math though) so like she analyzes every social situation or thing about the world really extensively. She can answer my question a week after I ask it, and it took me a while to realize that she doesn't ever forget a single thing. She has like a photographic memory or some shit. She won't mention some things but I know she remembers everything.
I realized why she doesn't like smoking weed. She asks me jokingly and all cute, 'How many of those things do you smoke a day?" I'm like uhhhh.... 3? (30?). She def knows I smoke all my life away but she doesn't care about that, the smell or the way I act when I'm high (which is just me anyway) that doesn't bother her at all. The reason is that, she has a crazy analytical mind and it isn't something that has very much freedom of expression.
For example, I am really analytical just like her, but in a different way. What I trip out about has a lot more freedom... the sky is the limit really, so there is nothing confining me to think in a certain way - and if there is, I know it's just a mirage anyway. She lives in the rigid social constructs of our modern day world (she is super chill though, not a robot haha) - anyways, I can see her getting really socially anxious if she smoked weed because there is only so much she can think about. She takes all the time in the world to make her decisions but I feel like weed would try and force a sense of logic upon her, that wouldn't help in the context of the way that she thinks. She didn't spend 15 years growing up on the stuff or she might be a natural toker : p
I thought thought was amazing when I realized that about her. Cause like I knew it wasn't the smell and she is really only curious about how much weed and psychs I do (and like oxy's and shit like that are out of the question obviously... I got away with it haha. Prescription is out, and I was high as fuck for 5 days). I was so stoned today, I came up with an entire idea for a novel that would actually be fucking amazing if I went through with it, but she'd get caught up in paranoid thought loops wondering when she should kiss me lol. Too cute.
Finally though like I actually understand at least in one person why they don't like weed and it is perfectly valid as it relates to the very way she thinks, and how weed would interfere with that and how under other circumstances as she has hedonistic tendencies as well she would probably love to smoke weed. She has trauma and stuff too. I would also like to know this about someone who is potentially my future girlfriend. I actually prefer this, to someone who will smoke pot with me but can't really come up with a reason for why they do. (she did not explain this to me by the way... she sort of just told me how weed affects her and it was all jumbled and confusing lol... and she was like it has to be stimulating for me). Well... weed can be very stimulating and you loved acid when we took it... what is up with this chick haha. Lovely girl, really...
