What 23
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2013
- Messages
- 3,906
I live almost exclusively off of organic hemp seeds. The only drugs that go into my body are in the form of about 3.5 gs of burnt cannabis every couple to a few weeks, and occasionally DMT and very occasionally LSD... But none of those should affect the quality of tissues. I am however somewhat toxic in areas of my body due to the same reasons or related to the same reasons my diet is so restricted. Ah.. There are other foods, but they occur about once a week or so each. This literal consumption of flesh is hypothetical. For thought. I don't plan to do it/have it done.
It was born out of desire to be understood, for the love to be understood. I do say it was after death but at the moment in time it was more as I died. I'm not sure what came first. More complicated thoughts arise after.
Death and eating.. I'm not even really entirely positive if death was required. It just seemed it would occur.
I'm sure you understand it is hard to explain. I know love as you say should be immaterial, but like Christ gave his body...
I don't know, maybe in this case I knew or felt I was dying.
I can't quite remember, exactly. Wanted to be of some use. And or wanted to express what I could not.
To be honest I think I was experiencing in my mind the cutting sensation, but before I had thoughts of consumption. The thoughts came in interpretation. Maybe it was the pain of the cutting, and catharsis, and her, that was first important.
I wonder if kissing has any connection?
Edit: More memory. I was extremely tense. The muscles in the left pectoral, into my shoulder/arm were tense enough to cause pain/there was pain. The cutting, as I imagined, was to release the tension, by cutting the muscles that were tense. The cannibalization thoughts came perhaps after, perhaps for more of a variety of reasons.
It was born out of desire to be understood, for the love to be understood. I do say it was after death but at the moment in time it was more as I died. I'm not sure what came first. More complicated thoughts arise after.
Death and eating.. I'm not even really entirely positive if death was required. It just seemed it would occur.
I'm sure you understand it is hard to explain. I know love as you say should be immaterial, but like Christ gave his body...
I don't know, maybe in this case I knew or felt I was dying.
I can't quite remember, exactly. Wanted to be of some use. And or wanted to express what I could not.
To be honest I think I was experiencing in my mind the cutting sensation, but before I had thoughts of consumption. The thoughts came in interpretation. Maybe it was the pain of the cutting, and catharsis, and her, that was first important.
I wonder if kissing has any connection?
Edit: More memory. I was extremely tense. The muscles in the left pectoral, into my shoulder/arm were tense enough to cause pain/there was pain. The cutting, as I imagined, was to release the tension, by cutting the muscles that were tense. The cannibalization thoughts came perhaps after, perhaps for more of a variety of reasons.
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