Feb 19th was my eighth year. There was a spiritual awakening this last year that had my sanity circling the drain for a few months. That was really a needed event and it has leveled out nicely. I think most long term weed users go through the self reflection event, I was just packing more issues I think.
Like you, I think this is the best thing.
8)
Yourbaker...I can certainly relate to "sanity circling the drain". I'm pleased that you seem to have "leveled out".
Without access, I'm unable to further explore the benefits of MMJ for pain---and the depression that rides shotgun with long term pain. I was fortunate to obtain 3 different "forms" of MMJ from a dispensary (sublingual oil, RSO, bud). I preferred the sublingual oil, but it was quite expensive. I didn't like smoking, so I learned to vape bud. Although my strain availability was sketchy, I tried Cannatonic, Godbud, Durban Poison. I wanted to try Medibud and Harlequin, but the dispensary didn't have them.
Again, my dear friend (cancer) tried to help ease my pain. He died, ironically, on Groundhog Day last month after YEARS of battling cancer. I am SO VERY THANKFUL he had MMJ to help him through his final months. I knew death was ever present, but I am having a hard time dealing with the loss. He was good for me, and I for him...We made each other laugh, when we felt like crying. We never met in person, yet we had an unbreakable bond. I miss his emails, though I remain in contact with his wife. She is devastated, as one would expect.
She sent me his DaBuddha? vaporizer and leftovers of several strains of bud. She won't be able to help me get MMJ, since he was the patient with the MMJ card. I would not lay that burden at her feet anyway. So...I have small amounts of these...L.A. Cookie, AK47, Purple OG, Siberian Skunk, Lemon Haze, Larry OG? He had local dispensaries to choose from, so he was trying all varieties post Taxotere.
My husband had bought me an Arizer solo. I had wanted to try Harlequin, Blue Dream and Jack Herer? as per recommendations, for my needs. Those strains seemed to be "sold out". I still want to try those, as I'm looking for pain relief yet focus and functionality.
I apologize for the rambling post. I'm just lost in pain and sadness, though I must remain strong for those who depend on me.
Last weekend, I said "fuck it" and tried some of his Bubba Kush and AK47. It didn't take much to get me giggling. That was fun while it lasted, and gave me much needed comic relief. However, I need to find a serious regimen that I can obtain and maintain. I want to live, not merely exist in severe pain until I die.