Have been at rehab 7 times, totally +45 months of my life, gone to the trash becouse was non-voluntary, except the last one, as deficit said, i feel i need to be AWAY from the posibility of buy meth, or i will continue use it really compulsively, i starting loose and still have lets say, self steem, becouse i know how miserable my life become, not all meth related, but was a daily partner or the disaster of my 20s.
That rehab was a very different place, the same thing... but involutary rehab is criminal, but here the centers are owned by mafia and they are registered as civil associations, plus no one cares how a problematic addict is passing the rehab, i wasnt really problematic, but i was near to be biochemstry eng., my stupid and vague beliefs at that point of my life maked me to decide continue with a personal project that broke just few months i left the uni and cuz i even didnt asked for down them from the system or bye see u, just stopped to go at school 2 and half years, and they cant acept me back, they give me a partial document, and is just useful to get 1 1/2 years less of 5 1/2 of start at other university from zero., i dont know what to do with my life and 2 of that years was very dark and miserable, and coincide with the most hardcore meth abuse period of my life too.
I need to thank rehab, i hope to not need it again, but last time i asked for it becouse i sold everything i had except clothes, and started to ask my dads money and my bro, and fucked addict shit, and i say myself with the feeling of sadness smoking without more effect what i can got everyday (my use was for more than 6 months idk the grams, maybe little less than 1, super good quality lol, my city is the main of one of the 3 states whehre are the meth biggst lab that provide worldwide shit, and mainly to USA and less to Europe and SA, but the mexican drugs are all continents at diferent volume and cost.
Well, as obsessive, i found a very dangerous and i was near homicide more than one time becouse here get to do that things and make angry violent ppl is not a joke, police and military are bullshit, i know how all works, they just let them sell or do drugs, i guess there are nice bribery and incomes in general, even to the citizens, and when there are no laws in a product that gives you money and power/freedom more than others, or much more, people do incredible inhuman things to get that product, the money, power and freedom that gives to them.
Im high sorry just smoked a pot and its not common.... but.. i was doing extremely nice shit and literally had my pipe with me all day getting a hit every... 5 min idk, sometimes i need to smoke between getting foods, or really desired to smoke at same time i was eating, i had several new pipes and ridiculous good and big ammounts of shit to do, i just used pipes 1 time mostly, was insane but i ended with personal consecuences im still paying, thanks god this days of my life are very good, what i was living was a nightrame, very sad history, even this days happened very shitty things, things that hurt you like fuck... like someone u known since have memory suicided, and was a brillant person... but even i dont take it as excuse of any more than make an objective to heal the family relationship, that are very toxic in general, but im having daily convivence with my dads since the day my sis suicided, 21 feb, Celeste Sanchez... why she done it? idk but i have seen she had some discomfort in the life, i have it too, and i see tendences but other ones doesnt are acord as manifestations of tendence suicide but i always have been suicidal, everyday util today, i know i will no do it after my sis done, just my dadds doesnt deserve it, but i had very deep toughs in a obsessive way, but i havent done it becouse i still had meth to smoke, when the meth ended cuz i broke with a "gf", a ex convict that was doing nice things to get some money with a lot of good shit, idk if she is still alive haha, the last times i see her i got forced rehab, i was hanging out with a lot of people that know a shit of them becouse are their "friends", and locally you can identify that people, and its very inhuman to do things, they are sick with the impunity they have from any justice, plus comite acts, okay torture, its ok, i feel the reasons, not heavy torture, but just something no one wants at the point to dont try to create competition to the mafia, i guess that only in mexico are hundreds of city and estate goverments that are literally the narcos of the area, even in my city, the politics that are at govt are well known as part of one traditional mafia, they arent terrible persons, are doctors with postgrades and ok, but, i want to explain how the govt and narco are exactly the same and all know it, i will make a post with pics of the point at few mts from m y house, 1km idk, they even have luminose cheap leds, and inside slot betting machines (of course, you need a permision to have one of that working, and i thin they asked before put them, well that its an indicative that is a minor drug selling place, in this one you can see always at least 3 regular bad motorcycles and 3-4 big trucks that have a sticker saying "im a narco truck", its like... the generic narco truck used to travel trough the Sierra Madre, when all the production occurrs, and big sellings national and worldwide).
Shit im going to take a bath... and im becaming alcohlic last days... hope not to dring today, i will relax and smoke something, this days are very hot climate to be dehydrated, and i smoke meth daily, plus alcohol is getting me really bad, i need to stop drinking so much liquor.
And... yes, dont do meth, i guess that for 90%+ is just ask for troubles, and for 15%+ is a life-changer, not for good, shit in their life, is for me, but all wasnt really bad, i thanks to gof im still alive and can do a lot of things i do daily and without that i had no reason to wake up or doing something like using meth and alcohol every second of my life?
Uh, sorry, meww
