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Can people of the oppisite sex be "friends"?

I think the answer depends on the individuals. In short; there is no proper answer.
Psychology for both men and women alike provides way too much variable.

I think it's fine to pursue friendships and connections with whomever you want. If further relations occur then I also see no issue with that. People need to be responsible for their own behavior or be truthful about their desires.
 
Of course. I have many friends of the opposite sex, some for over two decades as adults, that have never shown the slightest bit of sexual interest in me, or I in them. I really don't think of myself so highly that I would ever consider these friends are secretly harbouring lustful thoughts about me and if they are, they're doing a great job of not showing the slightest hint of it for year after year after year. If you're not attracted to one another, you can spend your whole life as friends and not develop a sexual 'connection' at all.

If any partner even tried to do so much as vaguely imply I shouldn't be having friends of the opposite sex, his insecure, controlling ass would hit the kerb before he'd even got to the end of the sentence. If you're asking this question because you have suspicions about your love interest's friendship with someone of the opposite sex, answers as to whether *anyone* can ever possibly have platonic friendships aren't going to be of much use. It's absolutely possible. But the only thing that's going to get you any reassurance here is some honest communication with them and yourself.
 
no, absolutely impossible. every time a woman talks to me i immediately honk her tit
 
For me, yes. Maybe. I've had female friends (just friends) but the minute they go above that, all bets are off. Ive got about a 50/50 track record of rebuffing such advances, so yes, that makes me a cheater.

I have turned down.... more... because i was happy with the way the friendship is, and vice-versa. But, news flash: if either of you feel 'more', regardless on whether or not you act on it, the friendship has already changed. I do have female friends, tho I'd be patently lying if i didnt say I havent thought about getting with them at least once. for me, respect and value of a friendship goes beyond getting laid.
 
Robbie240 said:
What are peoples views on this? Can people agree that if you spend enough time with someone that a connection could develop?
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Of course a connection develops. It just happens naturally when two people spend a good deal of time together.

The answer is yes and no. In my experience, usually one person harbors romantic/sexual feelings that the other does not reciprocate. That's what makes the friendship difficult. Friendship with the opposite sex is facilitated by not having sexual/romantic feelings towards them. However, when you do want to date/sleep with someone you're friends with, that is a desire to take that friendship further, and it complicates things if the other person doesn't feel the same way.

Speaking for myself, if I have those strong feelings towards someone, I can't sustain a friendship on a platonic level.
 
From a male that has been in a relationship for the past 5 years of his life (highschool/college). No males cant. *atleast not in their teens/twentys*

Girls can, and they will try to make friends with guys.

Some backstory: me and my girlfriend are both very attractive people and often with this comes a lot of friends from opposite sex. My girlfriend thinks she has a lot of "friends" which are guys who act very nice in hopes of getting laid. But then after meeting this great guy at a party after a few drinks you find out he acts like a complete douche to you. Thissbecause he really just wants to fuck your girl, hes also talked about you a few times nothing good just a few joking insults he says to your gf.

Point case, ive went through this tons this isnt an isolated instance. Some of my best friends come calling and messaging her the hour me and my girl split up for a day.

Personally having girlfriends for me is possible because my mind has been altered in these 5 years of dating but i wont lie when i say i am attracted to female friends and i defiantly do have dreams about them. this should be honest proof enough

Some advice: watch your girls friends if your younger, lets be honest here... avoid pathetic jelousy it doesnt help the relationship but paying attention is intelligent. Youd be surprised how many of your friends would get with your girl if they could TRUST ME ;)
 
I hate to connect the dots but every single time ive ever heard a girl say "i have more guy friends than girls cause girls are too much work"*or something to this affect* I FUCK WITH U NOT they are a slut. i go to college, lets be honest here the real zinger is when they tack on "and i dont sleep with any of them!! swearzies!" HAHAHAHA

Oh my other favorite one was a chick who said she hates girls when she had a best friend of 2 years and she slept with her boyfriend. (obviously she didnt know i knew this backstory) i had randomly seen her at a dorm party and this girl was obviously trying to sound cool saying this and it gave me a good drunk chuckle. When i hear a girl say that i normally think shes trying to prove something normally nothing good.

Sorry this isnt directed at you but it kind of is on accident, i was just bringing my views to light (a male going to college)
 
Yes, I feel it works out. From what I've seen girls have more guy friends that guys have girl friends, if that makes sense? I think that has a lot to do with male mentality and trying to fuck their friends. Where as girls don't always want to sleep with every guy they're mates with. I know that's a generalisation but from what I've seen it's pretty much the way it is.
 
IMHO there are 2 cases when it works :

- the friend is totally not your "type"
- the friend is an ex and you are divorced for >3 years

In all other cases a deep friendship won't work out.
 
I would say yes it's possible, but it gets more possible as the people involved become older.
Young men in particular find it difficult to avoid sexual thoughts around women so the sexual awareness is constantly present.
Women too tend to react differently to men than to other women.
We are after all biologically destined to interact sexually.
Fortunately as libido wanes it can be replaced by friendship.
 
I feel sorry for people that can't maintain platonic friendships with the opposite sex.
 
Sourtulip said:
I believe that yes, males and females can be just friends but my experience with it definately points in another direction, with other guys vs my SO that is. I've never been one to keep a lot of friends of the opposit sex, or just friends for that matter but I have had some without it being anymore of a friendship though ( but lots of guys can't be just friends, some even says so them self)
My SO is a very attractive woman of both looks and personality and unfortunately for me, lots of other guys seem to agree.
It has happened, on multiple occasions that she had a male friend which turned out not to be a friend. Sometimes they tried to have sex with her, other times they genuinely fell in love with her (and the fact that they knew she has been with me for over 5 years didn't seem to stop their advances at all).

To be honest, I would much rather that she didn't have friends of the opposit sex. I see them all as potential threats and if the past is to be any indication, then I would have to say that it's with good reason too.

At the same time, one has to ask one self, even when offered, would something happen? I mean, let's face the facts here. ANY woman of above average on the sexy scale would be able to get laid in a matter of minuts if she really wanted to. Hell, she could just go right out on the street and ask a random dude.
So one has to make up his mind on whether or not the trust is really there. If it's not, then the person either isn't right for you or you are not mature enough for a relationship.

And I trust my SO, I really do. But I still get frustrated about it. Not because I fear that she will cheat but because I fear that at some point, one of these "friends" won't take a no for an answer or that she'll eventually meet someone that she develops strong feelings for - both would be absolutely devastating to me so I do have some anxiety about her having male friends. Other than that, I also hate it then other guys have some kind of attraction towards her, if I were a little more mature in this apartment, then I would probably take it as a compliment but it makes me kind of want to puke instead. I definately has some growing to do.
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Can I please just frame this post and use it as a mantra every day? I have the same exact opinions about my past SO's and my present ones. And unlike you I find it so hard to trust any girl with guy friends because I know out of all likelihood they want to fuck her and I fear she'll either cheat just due to her being drunk (or just furious me or something) or won't cheat but will develop stronger feelings for one of them and leave me. Just their desire to fuck my SO is enough to want them gone, to me they are threats and im pretty territorial and hate it. This fear of mine is pretty bad. I've gotten to the point where I find it hard to get even remotely serious with any girl who has more than 1 or 2 guy friends....... =/
 
So do bi/pansexual people just not get to have friends at all or what?

Whether two people can maintain a friendship depends on their personalities and intentions. Gender is irrelevant.
 
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apatheist said:
So do bi/pansexual people just not get to have friends at all or what?

Whether two people can maintain a friendship depends on their personalities and intentions. Gender is irrelevant.
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Was thinking this about the entire way through the thread.

Also unclear on the rules of friendship for gay and lesbian people.

I mean, I've got friends of all genders. Some of them I'm attracted to, some of them I'm not. Sometimes I sleep with a friend, sometimes I don't. I'm coming up on 30, and it hasn't backfired on me yet, so I say I'm doing a pretty good job.
 
I personally do not like the idea of my bf having a girl bestfriend because the truth is they are usually the first one you run to after a quarrel, one way or the other feelings are caught
 
I'll say yes, I have a group of friends that are mostly guys now (since I can't stand women and their petty dramas and bs.). We just cant see each other dating hahahah it would feel like dating your brother or sister. I think it really depends on how your relationship turned out to be. I know for a fact that none of the guys I am really close friends with are attracted to me and me, with them. Our attraction differs, my guy friend/friends are attracted to this and that and I am attracted to this and that.
 
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