Can a straight person have a slightly homoerotic dream?

[CfZrx]

PsychSoul you need to hug your friends. IMHO that is what the dream is telling you. Maybe your subconcious has detected a friend who is very depressed and needs support?

 

[alasdairm]

who cares? not everything needs a label.

i find, often, when you (one) feel(s) compelled to label or pigeonhole everything, you do the essence of the thing a disservice.

alasdair

 

[Kittycat5]

I dont think it is friend that you dont understand the definition of. Why must you call someone you love in a non-sexual way who isnt a family member anything, though. I mean people use things like best friend, brother from another mother etc. I know a lot of people who call close family friends their cousin. But these are just labels, it doesnt mean shit. You can choose to hug or not hug anyone you want. It is nothing more than an act to show caring towards that person and implies nothing sexual, though.

Have you ever had a girl hug you in this way? I have many times and there were instances where I never wanted to have sex with them and sure there were cases (probably the majority) where they didnt want to fuck me. How is this different than two male friends doing the same.

 

[psychedelicsoul]

Have you ever had a girl hug you in this way?

That would be a big no...

PsychSoul you need to hug your friends. IMHO that is what the dream is telling you. Maybe your subconcious has detected a friend who is very depressed and needs support?

I don't think that's the case. If anyone is detecting depression from the other it would be him detecting problems from me

who cares? not everything needs a label.

i find, often, when you (one) feel(s) compelled to label or pigeonhole everything, you do the essence of the thing a disservice.

alasdair

I guess you're right. I just like labels so I could arrticulate something... I don't like it when I feel things and can't easilly describe them. It makes me feel like I don't know myself.

 

[Kittycat5]

That would be a big no...

Really? Is there a reason other than you dont like hugging? I think you need to go out there and interact with people rather than brooding over your own thoughts. Thats really the most we can make out of this life and you tend to learn to empathize more and ultimately feel happier when you connect with people.

 

[psychedelicsoul]

Really? Is there a reason other than you dont like hugging? I think you need to go out there and interact with people rather than brooding over your own thoughts. Thats really the most we can make out of this life and you tend to learn to empathize more and ultimately feel happier when you connect with people.

I do, it's just lack of oppurtunities. I did make a rather bold decision recently... I told my friend about how I used to cut, beat, and burn myself over being bisexual.

 

[JessFR]

You really need help, please get help. No jokes. Please get help from a mental health professional.

 

[psychedelicsoul]

You really need help, please get help. No jokes. Please get help from a mental health professional.

I don't believe in all that. I wanna handle my problems on my own... And what makes you think I need help? Or if I did that a mental health professional would even be capable of helping me. My mind is me... there's no difference between my mind and myself. So if I need some outside source to change me, then who am I? My brain is find, don't confuse spiritual problems with mental health

 

[JessFR]

Them possibly being unable to help you is no reason not to try. And why you need help couldn't be more obvious.

Your behavior is destructive, antisocial and abnormal. Abnormality doesn't mean bad, but the other problems do.

Pleaaaase take my advice.

 

[psychedelicsoul]

Them possibly being unable to help you is no reason not to try. And why you need help couldn't be more obvious.

Your behavior is destructive, antisocial and abnormal. Abnormality doesn't mean bad, but the other problems do.

Pleaaaase take my advice.

What behavior? I don't feel crazy

 

[JessFR]

Crazy people seldom do.

The self hate, the cutting over feeling bi, the rationalizations about life and the meaning of it being required to feel alive. The lack of natural empathy. These are things you need to work on because you can't have a fulfilling and rich life the way you are now. Get a psych, explain all this shit to them, see what they think.

There is nothing wrong with being bisexual, it's not something to be fixed. And no, you don't have control over who you find attractive. In that respect you don't have free will, just the ability to condition and brainwash yourself.

 

[JessFR]

Also, it's not knowing yourself to try and change yourself. Knowing yourself would be accepting being bi, not trying to rip apart who you are and conditioning yourself to be someone you're not.

 

[Kittycat5]

A therapist is also an impartial party that has education and experience on dealing not only with traditional mental disease but also people who are struggling mentally and emotionally for whatever reason even if they do not have long lasting psychological or behavioral disorders. You told your friend about what you did in the past and you speak your mind on this forum daily. If you did this with an actual professional, they may be able to offer insights on how you can make changes. Ultimately you are correct that it is your mind, but you do seem to be searching for some sort of answer. Therapy may be a way of finding those answers through dialogue with someone who has more knowledge than you on how to get them.

Dont rule it out if you feel at any point you want to go back to some of those self destructive acts or get to a point where you feel you may never get the answers on your own. And I am not even a strong advocate of therapy for myself for my own reasons, but it no doubt helps for those who turn to it and are willing to start the long process it may become.

 

[psychedelicsoul]

Also, it's not knowing yourself to try and change yourself. Knowing yourself would be accepting being bi, not trying to rip apart who you are and conditioning yourself to be someone you're not.

You don't have to change yourself or accept yourself to know yourself. They're two totally different things. Also... would you give a pedophile the same advice about not trying to change?

 

[JessFR]

A pedophile wouldn't be able to chang BEING a pedophile most likely. The aim here is improving the quality of human life.

You cutting is negative, self hate is negative. Being bi isn't negative. Being a pedophile in and of itself is negative but can't likely be changed, acting on it is very negative and can be changed.

Accept the things you can't change, change the things you can, know the difference. It's a good philosophy.

I wouldn't say a pedophile not acting on their desires needs to change if that change would be harmful to them with no benefit. Just that they must not harm others. The goal is making the positive changes that can be made. It's not a perfect world, you do what you can, and mitigate the damage of what you can't do.

Preventing a pedophile from acting is doing good.
But making a pedophile try to hate what they are may not be doing good either.

 

[psychedelicsoul]

A pedophile wouldn't be able to chang BEING a pedophile most likely. The aim here is improving the quality of human life.

You cutting is negative, self hate is negative. Being bi isn't negative. Being a pedophile in and of itself is negative but can't likely be changed, acting on it is very negative and can be changed.

Accept the things you can't change, change the things you can, know the difference. It's a good philosoph.

That's a defeatist attitude in my opinion. I know a person can change their sexuality. In fact, I believe most of us are actually sexually fluid. And being bi was negative spiritually... atleast for me it as. It caused depression, anger, and drug addiction. As for cutting and self-hate... Anything that is used positively on oneself is positive.
But hey, if you're an atheist, you wouldn't understand... (not saying you are an atheist)

Also, "I wouldn't say a pedophile not acting on their desires needs to change if that change would be harmful to them with no benefit."
What about the pedophile feeling better about himself? Would that not be a benefit? Nobody forced me to do anything. Nobody pressured me into anything. I did what my own mind concluded was right. I always think for myself and nobody else.

 

[JessFR]

How can being bi be spiritually negative?

 

[smackydowners]

i think you should talk to a therapist. you have so much going on that you're fighting with. cutting yourself over your sexuality is quite universally considered extremely unhealthy behaviour. talking to a therapist might help you accept yourself and be happier.

i went to rehab fairly recently and the counsellors helped me a lot with my depression and self deprecation. just do it, you've nothing to lose.

 

[Bagseed]

haven't read the whole thread, but here's a fact of life (at least in my opinion): you cannot handle every problem all by yourself, for some things you need support. this is not a sign of weakness but human nature, as we are group animals. think about it

 

[psychedelicsoul]

How can being bi be spiritually negative?

I don't think it is for everyone to be honest.
For me, it caused anger, depression and other issues. Also, a lot of people from the church have bennefitted from turning straight. Most of them are bullshitting but I'm not gonna deny the christians who aren't. Studies show homosexuals have higher rates of mental illness's... even in nations in Europe like the Netherlands
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11146762
If this study was done in Mississippi I'd understand, but this is the Netherlands we're talking about...

Plus, all societies who practiced institutionalized bisexuality, such as Ancient Greek, Rome and Egypt, were morally replusive. But keep this in mind, I'm not saying all LGBT people have issues. However, I did, and change is good.
I'm not a christian, but I support what these religious folks are doing to help them. A lot of them just need deliverance in the name of Jesus... I'm kidding of course, but I do think there's spiritual energy within these churches... espcially Charasmatic Christianity.
Plus? Why did religion condemn homosexuality in the first place? Even Eastern faiths have unfavorable opinions on it. Homophobia is natural. Think about it? If man made religion and religion is homophobic... then clearly homophobia predates religion.

You know who could help them... Benny Hinn and his magic. He can swing his harms and yell fire, and they will feel better after going into convulsions.